Film Review: Michael Collins (dir by Neil Jordan)

Posted on March 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Released in 1996, Michael Collins tells the story of the early 20th century struggle of Ireland to gain independence from Britain.

Liam Neeson stars as Michael “Mick” Collins, the revolutionary leader who perfected the use of guerilla warfare against the British and then, in the greatest of ironies, found himself fighting some of his former allies during the Irish Civil War. Aidan Quinn plays Mick’s friend and fellow revolutionary, Harry Boland. Both Harry and Mick fall in love with Kitty Kiernan (Julia Roberts). Stephen Rea shows up as Ned Broy, a member of the Dublin police department who is inspired by Mick’s words to become a double agent. Charles Dance has a cameo as the fearsome Soames, a British intelligence agent who is sent to Ireland to violently put down the Irish insurgency. Finally, Alan Rickman plays Eamon de Valera, who goes from being one of Mick’s strongest allies to being one of his fiercest rivals. The film follows Collins from the Easter Rising of 1916 to his eventual assassination in 1922, providing a look at the history of Ireland that is as much directed towards those outside of Ireland as those on the inside.

When watching Michael Collins, it helps to have a working knowledge of Irish history. Otherwise, it can occasionally be a bit difficult to keep track of who is angry with who at any particular point in time. Of course, it should be noted that the movie itself is not exactly historically accurate. In the film, the gentle and likable Ned Broy becomes a victim of British bloodlust. In real life, Ned Broy outlived Michael Collins by several decades and died peacefully at the age of 84. For that matter, the film presents Eamon de Valera as being coldly Machiavellian and it suggests that de Valera was jealous of Mick’s popularity. Though both Rickman and director Neil Jordan later said it wasn’t intentional, the film also seems to suggest that de Valera played a role in Collins’s assassination. While Eamon de Valera remains a controversial figure for many reasons (including his neutrality during World War II), Jordan has said that he feels de Valera was not necessarily treated fairly in Michael Collins and indeed, de Valera — who plays as big a role in the founding of the Irish republic as anyone — is portrayed as often being ineffectual and unwilling to truly put himself at risk to fight the British. De Valera’s relationship with Collins was undoubtedly more complex than portrayed in this film but, when one makes a movie for an international audience, nuance is often the first thing that’s abandoned.

Seen today, 29 years after it was released, Michael Collins is an impressively made film that has a few inescapable flaws. It’s gorgeous to look at, full of moody shots of dark Dublin streets. The violence is often shocking and Jordan doesn’t shy away from considering the moral implications of Collins’s guerilla warfare. Michael Collins doesn’t make the mistake of blindly celebrating violence, which would be a valuable lesson for the world’s current crop of self-styled revolutionaries if they were only willing to hear it. Having gotten used to seeing Liam Neeson cast in one generic action film after another, it was interesting to watch Michael Collins and see what a good actor he truly could be. Even in 1996, He was perhaps a few years too old to playing a man who was only 31 when he died but Neeson still plays the role with a ferocious charisma that makes him believable as a leader. His scenes with Aidan Quinn have a joie de vivre that brings out the both in best actors. Alan Rickman is memorably sinister as Eamon de Valera and Stephen Rea’s gentle style makes Ned Broy into a truly tragic figure. That said, the very American Julia Roberts feels miscast as Kitty Kiernan. One gets the feeling that she was cast solely for her box office appeal. Every film, the feeling goes, needs a love story and those love stories need to be between people with familiar faces and Roberts is such a familiar face that her every appearance in the film feels like a distraction from the story being told. That said, the film captures the excitement and danger of being in the middle of history-making events. It’s a historical epic that’s never boring and manages to hold the viewer’s interest.

Michael Collins is ultimately a flawed but entertaining look at the early days of the Irish republic.

Insomnia File No. 6: Frogs For Snakes (dir by Amos Poe)

Posted on August 29, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

If you were suffering from insomnia last night, at around two a.m., you could have turned over to Flix and watched the 1998 film Frogs For Snakes.

And if you were suffering from insomnia, watching Frogs For Snakes would probably have been a good idea because this film is amazingly dull. In fact, I am not sure that I have the words to express to you just how tedious Frogs For Snakes truly was. It may be necessary for me to go back to school and learn how to speak in a dead language in order for me to express the boredom that I felt while watching Frogs For Snakes.

And yes, I realize that I’m talking about an obscure film that was released nearly 20 years ago and it might seem kind of petty to, at this late date, make a big deal about how terrible this film was.

But seriously, Frogs For Snakes was really, really bad. In fact, it was disturbing to think that a film this bad could have actually been made. It was even more disturbing to consider that this film was apparently given a theatrical release and, all these years later, still pops up on cable so that it can proudly display its overwhelming mediocrity.

Now, I’m going to tell you what Frogs For Snakes is about and you’re going to think, “That actually sounds like it might be kind of interesting.” Don’t be fooled! The film may sound interesting but it’s not.

Frogs for Snakes takes place in a stylized, neo-noir version of New York City. Eva Santana (Barbara Hershey) is an aging actress who claims to have quit the business, though it’s clear that it’s more a case of the business quitting her. She talks about leaving New York and raising her son in a better environment. However, until she gets around to leaving, she’s making ends meet by working as a waitress at a diner owned by the kind-hearted Quint (Ian Hart). And, of course, when she’s not waitressing, she’s working as a debt collector for her ex-husband, a loan shark named Al Santana (Robbie Coltrane).

That’s right, this actress has a gun and she uses it frequently. However, because Eva is good at heart, she rarely kills anyone. Instead, she just shoots them in the foot and tells them to pay back their loans while they lay on the floor and scream in agony. (All that agonized screaming got pretty old after a while.)

As for Al, he’s not just a loan shark. He’s a theatrical impressario. He’s planning on putting on a production of David Mamet’s American Buffalo. He promises his driver a role in American Buffalo on the condition that the driver assassinate Eva’s new boyfriend (John Leguizamo, of course).

Soon, actors all over New York are literally killing to get a role in Al’s play. Meanwhile, Eva just wants to retire and get out of New York but first, she has to do one last job for Al…

In between all the killing, the characters frequently launch into monologues that have been lifted from other films. John Leguizamo does a Brando imitation. Lisa Marie (Tim Burton’s ex, not yours truly) delivers the cuckoo clock speech from The Third Man. A suggestion for aspiring filmmakers: if you’re going to make a bad film, don’t remind your audience that they could be watching The Third Man instead.

Anyway, the plot sounds interesting but none of the potentially intriguing ideas are explored. I imagine that the film was meant to be a satire of Off-Broadway ruthlessness but ultimately, the film is just another tediously violent indie film from the 90s. This is one of those movies where nobody can do anything without spending an excessive amount of time talking about it beforehand and, when things do turn violent, it’s the worst type of quirky, sadistic, drawn-out, “look how crazy we are” violence.

There’s a scene towards the end of the film where Al shoots a group of people in a bar. This is intercut with clips from the Odessa Steps sequence from Battleship Potemkin. As Al leave, he shoots the TV showing Battleship Potemkin and, I have to say, that really annoyed me. Seriously, just as a bad filmmaker should not remind people that they could be watching The Third Man, he shouldn’t invite them to compare his film to Battleship Potemkin unless he’s willing to back up the comparison. When Al shot the TV, I found myself hoping that Sergei Eisenstein would pop up and shoot him.

Frogs for Snakes is one of the worst films that I’ve ever seen. It may, in fact, be the worst but I would need to rewatch Ted 2 before I said that for sure. But, if you have insomnia, Frogs For Snakes will at least put you to sleep.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNAn0xuRTmE

Previous Insomnia Files:

T.V. Review: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. – Season 1, Episode 3 (“The Asset”)

Posted on October 9, 2013 by Semtex Skittle

So! It’s here at last: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., one of those pieces of programming that both thrills and terrifies me. Obviously, like probably everyone else, I entered into this whole affair with a deep concern that this whole enterprise was going to be a failure and would diminish the fine work that has been done in recent Marvel films like, of course, The Avengers. Through three episodes, it doesn’t look like this is going to be a problem.

So, let’s talk about “The Asset”. The cold open has a semi trailer making its way down the highway as part of a convoy with two totally inconspicuous matching black SUVs with dark tinted windows. The driver communicates with his escort and says all is well. Of course, things immediately go awry, as the inconspicuous escorts begin to be inexplicably hurled into the air. The semi’s driver, an average trucker type, immediately reveals his allegiance by reporting in to a S.H.I.E.L.D. comptroller. Ah-hah! Not long after, the truck and trailer are both hurled skyward and come back to earth, the truck now in flames. Immediately, a large excavator emerges from the woods with a small detachment of armed men. The excavator rips open the trailer and the armed squad boards. Cutting their way through a security door in the trailer, S.H.I.E.L.D.’s mystery cargo proves to… a balding, glasses-wearing gentleman. “Are we there yet?” ~~Joss Whedon~~ this mysterious man asks. Opening title!

Skye is late to her workout with Ward. She is not enjoying the strength building regimen that is part of becoming a S.H.I.E.L.D. field agent. She’s working a bag in the plane’s cargo space under Ward’s supervision, wondering why she needs this kind of training in order to be a useful member of the team. Ward isn’t ready to budge on this, she needs to be able to pull herself up if she’s hanging off the side of a building, damnit! She needs to at least have a basic idea of how to defend herself, damnit! Skye argues that Fitz-Simmons don’t have to do any strength training, but Ward points out that they do brain-training instead, and she won’t like that any better. She has to either dedicate herself to being a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, or she needs to go crawl back into a hole somewhere. That’s a choice she can make, but something tells me Ward doesn’t recommend it. Oh, and, in a nod to the pilot? S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn’t have a truth serum. You can even ask Coulson!

Briefing time. Coulson explains that Canadian Physicist Franklin Hall was being transported by S.H.I.E.L.D. when he was kidnapped by apparently invisible attackers. Fitz-Simmons are devastated at the news – Hall was their mentor. Skye is intrigued by the idea of invisible attackers. With this being a top priority, the team deploys immediately to the location of the attack, on I-76 near Sterling in eastern Colorado. On the way, Coulson explains that S.H.I.E.L.D. has been hiding key scientists and other “assets” from enemies who desperately want to get hold of them by moving them around between secure locations. On site, the truck driver has received some medical attention and reports on what happened to Coulson. He also speculates that there had to be a mole – the attack came at a vulnerable spot right on their route. Someone knew they were coming! Fitz-Simmons have the hi-tech gear out and use it to determine the device that made the attack possible – a tiny little metal device of unknown provenance. Time to get back to the lab everyone! This episode definitely keeps moving, these scenes have my typing fingers cramping up already.

On the plane, the team has analyzed the tread data of the excavator to identify its model and year, then researched all such equipment in private ownership in a 500 mile radius, then cross-referenced that to… anyway, Skye was going to do that, but they’ve already done it, they’ve found the guy. We gotta go talk to him. Better luck next time, Skye! She tells Coulson that she knows there’s no truth serum. He responds cryptically. I’m stunned. May takes a break from standing around in stoic silence to drop off the communication logs of every outbound transmission since Hall was taken into productive custody. Skye, you can go through these! We’ve got to find out if there’s a mole! Coulson and Ward need to talk to tractor guy. We’re off!

Coulson stops a generic cowboy type (you might actually find some out by Sterling, I suppose) who is riding his horse at sunset. Coulson explains that he’s from a powerful organization that is keeping our cowboy under constant surveillance. When our excavator salesman explains that he’s done nothing wrong, Coulson points out that while that’s true, he did sell his excavator to people who did something bad with it, he knows it, and he’s hiding out until it all blows over. So who paid him? Someone who doesn’t want him answering questions, damnit! Shotgun barrel in his face, Coulson remains cool, as Ward steps in from off-camera to take the situation into hand. The cowboy, gun barrel now in his direction, explains that he never saw a face, never heard a name. But it turns out that he was paid… in gold? “It feels like the old west!” Ward quips. Probably the episode’s worst line. Let’s move on, shall we?

The gold bars are unusual. They’re not refined bars of pure gold, but rather bars produced in the mine. Only 92% pure! Of course, these are the most traceable bars of all time, so Fitz-Simmons report that they’re from a mine in Tanzania. Does Coulson know who owns that mine? Oh yes. Oh yes, he does. He was on the cover of Forbes! His name is Ian Quinn, and he’s quite the CEO. As Coulson action-walks out of the room, we zip away again!

The Republic of Malta, in the world of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., apparently a haven for people who want beautiful beaches, pleasant tax laws, and to be outside of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s jurisdiction. Our man Ian Quinn (played by a saucy David Conrad) has, in fact, kidnapped Dr. Franklin Hall (Ian Hart)… but, what’s this? They’re not enemies! They’re old college buddies! Hall is concerned that Quinn has committed outright theft of his ideas, but Quinn counters that information wants to be free (yo). Hall is perplexed; hasn’t Quinn made eleventy billion dollars off these free ideas? Well, nevermind that, says Quinn. Yes, he was able to buy a supercomplex with underground research facilities – presumably at a tax auction. Oh that Quinn! – in Malta, but much more importantly, he’s actually found the theoretical element that Hall postulated back at Cambridge – Gravitonium!

On the plane, Fitz-Simmons give us the exposition on how all of this works. Gravitonium distorts gravity fields. On its own, it’s just a curiousity. But if you apply an electric current, you can use gravitonium to change how gravity behaves around it. Now imagine you’re operating a semi going 100 kph… Oh. Quinn has this stuff now! Skye argues that Quinn is a notorious philanthropist, donating billions to charity. Yes, but he’s an ecological menace! Anyway, he’s a jerk, trust us.

In Malta, Quinn and Hall are still chatting. Quinn had to search six continents, open a dozen mines, and invest all this time to find the gravitonium they need, but he’s managed it. Now, finally, the work they began so long ago can be made reality. They can build a giant and obviously benevolent machine that controls unfathomably powerful gravitational waves! Well, skip the ‘can build’ part. Replace it with ‘I already built this crazy machine and here’s the thing I totally did steal your idea and I don’t know how it works so please help me operate it ole buddy’. Quinn knows that Hall wants this thing done right, or not at all. You can thank him later.

On the plane, the team discusses the impossibility of assaulting Quinn’s compound. Malta will never allow S.H.I.E.L.D. to make a large scale assault under normal circumstances, let alone this weekend when Quinn’s shareholders conference will be taking place on his estate. What about a small infiltration team? Level 7 doesn’t even officially exist, it would be easy for S.H.I.E.L.D. to disavow them if they were caught. Forget it, guys. Quinn’s compound is defended by twenty foot high laser fences that will kill on contact. Fitz straightfacedly – to Simmons’ despair – suggests that they employ the services of a small monkey which could get through the laser fencing then disable it on the inside. Skye could go in, but nobody is listening to her. Ward wants them to drop him in the hills outside the city and let him go to ground, spend a few weeks developing a cover identity, establishing a backtrail… Coulson is worried that Hall doesn’t have that kind of time. Simmons adds that any Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. caught on Maltese soil can be executed (what is it with Malta, anyway?) Skye says that won’t happen to her, she can go in. Ward dismisses her, saying this is a serious situation…but Coulson wants to hear her out. Skye points out that she is not, in fact, an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.. She can legally be in Malta without trouble. Early on, May said that they might be able to pull the rescue off with an inside man, right? Well, Skye says, Fitz-Simmons love Dr. Hall, and for all they know, he could be being tortured, right? Ward is skeptical – she doesn’t have any training, no background, no clearance (why does she need clearance to infiltrate this guy’s shareholder’s meeting? Your guess is as good as mine). No, Skye agrees, but she did manage to secure an invitation to the party on her phone while everyone was talking.

I get that Skye’s outsider status is A Thing, and that we can’t even be sure that she’s sure about her loyalties to S.H.I.E.L.D.. But this schtick is already wearing a little thin after the last episode, where, as TSL’s own Leonard Wilson pointed out Skye’s desire to help the team and being rebuffed was sort of already explored in detail. This is a minor point, especially since television, by its nature, feels comfortable making changes in characters and attitudes in a way that a film certainly can’t. It’s probably because I just happen to really like Skye as a character (my favourite, or perhaps tied with the delightful Agent Coulson so far) and I wanted to champion her. Anyway, there’s so many scene changes, we can’t waste time on my innermost thoughts!

Coulson is selecting new suits or something. He understands Ward’s concerns, but doesn’t see any other options. Ward was obviously impressed by Skye’s ability to wrangle an invite to an exclusive shareholder’s meeting in five minutes or less, but Skye is not ready for something like this. She violated protocols! That’s her job, Coulson points out, that’s why he brought her on in the first place. She can see things the others don’t, because she doesn’t think the way they do, damnit! Ward is concerned about her lack of commitment. She won’t dedicate herself to doing what she needs to do to become a real agent. He’s frustrated, and asks for Coulson’s advice. Coulson suggests that she might relate better to the person, Ward (does he have a first name? I think I missed it), than to Agent Ward Of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Ward is training Skye again. He takes Coulson’s advice, and tries to relate to Skye as a person. She actually seems to respond! This time, there’s no snarky one liner! He’s drilling her on how to get a gun away from someone who’s got one pulled on her. I believe this is a device called ‘Chekhov’s Gun’… but I could be mistaken about that. Nah, I must be. I’m sure this won’t come up later.

Now we’re nailing down the plan. It’s simple – unless the fence comes down, the rescue is hopeless. Luckily, Fitz-Simmons have put all the electronic gear needed into a compact. It has some lights on it. It will blink red until Fitz-Simmons work their remote magic and bring the field down. Then it goes green, and the team has a three second window. It will have to be enough. May is concerned about how much combat she’s already seen; she would rather hang out on the plane and be stoic than see more action. Luckily, Coulson explains, she’s not going: he is. May is concerned that Coulson is about as combat ready as a damp towel. When was the last time he shot someone? Well, not that long ago. He shot at Loki! May points out that it didn’t turn out too well, but Coulson’s not listening.

In Malta, the party is going on. Shareholders everywhere. Chloe Bennet is stunning in pink. Fitz-Simmons are in her ear supplying her with information on who she’s talking to, allowing her to socialize unimpeded. Surprisingly, she seems to be kind of a natural at this. She’s charming, flattering an important architect from Dubai, and introducing herself to Ian Quinn. Quinn is big into that whole information wants to be free deal (remember?). He knows Skye is a hacker, that she has no official business being at this shareholder’s meeting, but he’s not mad. Instead, he’s impressed by her skills, and he sympathizes to an extent with the Rising Tide. Oh, and he wants to offer her a job! He needs people that have both her skills and her ability to think creatively. He didn’t know she was a beautiful woman, but that IS a bonus. Quinn makes a big speech about de-regulation and progress, while Coulson and Ward make beachfall. So far, everything is falling in to place. Quinn is ready to announce his gravity control machine to the shareholders. Imagine being able to pull oil up from the ground, or move cargo with just the swipe of a hand? Well, soon, we can! It sounds magical.

After the speech, Skye is wandering unescorted around Quinn’s place, trying to gain access to his office. She’s talking to Fitz-Simmons when, abruptly, a question she asks her contacts back home is answered by a voice from behind. It’s Quinn! Annnnnnnd he wants to know what she’s doing there. She attempts to prevaricate, but he’s not buying. So Skye using some suggestive (not like that, people) terminology to imply to Quinn that S.H.I.E.L.D. has gotten to her. And sure enough, back on the plane, after a terse, stoic question from May, Skye’s connection goes dead. She explains to Quinn that S.H.I.E.L.D. picked her up in LA, forced her to help them out, and bunked her on their plane. Now, however, she managed to talk her way into this covert mission. Why would they trust her? Quinn demands to know. Well, because she’s not part of S.H.I.E.L.D., silly! Didn’t we establish that? Her being in Malta isn’t creating an incident. But now that this opportunity has presented itself, she likes to keep her options open. Quinn talks about how she’s an obvious candidate to be targeted by S.H.I.E.L.D. for recruitment: skills, competence, no family. Quinn is totally willing to make her a better deal but she has to tell him exactly what S.H.I.E.L.D. wants. Well, she says, flourishing her rigged compact. She was supposed to bat her eyelashes… annnnnd… fence is down!

Coulson and Ward demonstrate their cred by managing to traverse several feet of open ground in a three second window!

Quinn is pissed. Security has been breached! He draws a gun on Skye!

We’re in the lab! Coulson is here! He’s ready to rescue Dr. Hall! … But Dr. Hall doesn’t want to be rescued. Coulson is taken aback. This was the one answer he wasn’t ready for. But Hall is frightened of the technology that Quinn has created. Not only can Quinn not be trusted with it… no one can. He’s going to set the gravity generator to maximum and sink… well… the whole island. At least. May points out, helpfully, that Hall must have leaked his own location so that Quinn would kidnap him. Yes, I think we’re all arriving at that conclusion. Well, what do we do now? The gravity becomes erratic, and Coulson is thrown into the next commercial break!

Headquarters wants to know how big the gravity generator is. Fitz-Simmons are concerned that the whole island will sink. At least. Coulson wants a solution, but Hall says there’s nothing to be done now. He’s a Bond villain, so he gets the bottle of scotch and pours himself a glass as he explains both that the generator is about to reach exponential badnewsness, and his motivations for doing so. For the good of all mankind…

Quinn is stunned that Skye would side with S.H.I.E.L.D.. S.H.I.E.L.D. is jerks! Skye points out that they’re more on the benevolent side. He’s still got that gun out, and he wants to know S.H.I.E.L.D.’s plan. The gravity’s going a bit wonky, but they haven’t realized that’s the problem, yet. Just seems like explosions… or something. Anyway, as Quinn staggers, he gets too close, and Skye immediately uses the move Ward was drilling her on to disarm him! I am stunned! Quinn calls her bluff, asking if she’s got the resolve to pull the trigger. “Nope!” Skye confirms, hurling the gun and diving out the window into the pool. Quinn sends security in pursuit, but then, as he sees his pen acting … bizarrely… he realizes the true danger: Hall has engaged the gravity machine. He immediately orders evacuation.

Back in the lab, Coulson tries to talk Hall down. Hall’s not having any of it. S.H.I.E.L.D. is guilty of this same kind of nonsense; producing technologies without any regard for the consequences. Remember how they were researching an infinite power source? What happened then? Oh yeah. Alien invasion. Coulson can’t really come up with a counter. It simply doesn’t look like Dr. Hall can be reasoned with.

Skye is nearly captured by security. She hasn’t taken her self-defence training very seriously, so she stands no chance against Quinn’s goons. But Ward does! He knocks out four guys and saves her. She’s okay, but glad to see Ward. Time to find Coulson! He’s in the lab, of course, showing down with Hall. Fitz-Simmons chime in (in time, no less) that what he needs to do is provide a catalyst to create a reaction inside the gravity generator after disabling the power. Coulson slowly lowers his gun, telling Hall that he understands: He had to make a hard call. A lot of these lines are callbacks. You won’t miss any of them. Finally, Coulson shoots the window that, because of the wonkiness, Hall is now standing on, sending the good doctor tumbling down into the core of his machine. Phew, disaster averted!

Aboard the plane, Coulson orders Top Men to secure the gravitonium core someplace no one will ever be able to find it again. Ever. Or else. May feels like she may have been hasty in her judgment that she wants to stay on the plane and utter as few lines as possible. Instead, she’s going to be on combat duty. Also, Coulson is rusty. He shouldn’t have taken the risk. In the cargo bay, Skye is now furiously attending to the drills Ward tried to get her to commit to at the beginning. It’s all cyclical, you see? And Skye is transforming, slowly, as a character, and also gaining the respect of others around her. She tells Ward a little about her struggles as an orphan, and with foster families. She’s finally made her decision: She wants this.

On the whole, I really enjoyed this episode. I know I poked fun at a bunch of stuff in it (especially May, who is just wallpaper flat the entire time) but it was a great Skye episode. She’s a good character, and I want to continue along with her. Ward’s grown on me too. And we all knew that Coulson was going to be great. Here’s the thing I enjoyed most about this episode, however: It did not draw on the movie mythology for its story, and it didn’t rely on a big guest star to propel it. Not that I mind Ron Glass appearing in anything, mind you, and the show will be more credible if Samuel L. Jackson makes a couple small cameos here and there… but this episode (which actually draws on a comic book story for its script, though not one I’ve read) stands pretty well on its own. Our Level 7 team seems more competent here, working mostly as an integrated unit, with Skye finally beginning to find her place among the others. I think the stage is set to tell some pretty good stories from here on out. I’m looking forward to them!

Oh, and there’s a creepy hand trying to claw its way out of the gravitonium core. I’m sure that’s not a sign we’re all screwed.

Review: Bates Motel 1.8 “A Boy and His Dog”

Posted on May 7, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night’s episode of Bates Motel featured Norma (Vera Farmiga) trying to flirt her way to prosperity and out of trouble, Norman (Freddie Highmore) dealing with a therapist, Emma’s Dad (Ian Hart) waxing poetic about taxidermy, Dylan (Max Thieriot) pulling a gun on a pushy hippie, and Jake (Jere Burns) being brilliantly sleazy. It was a lot of fun and a definite improvement over last week’s dour episode.

For those of us who are still invested in the idea of this show being a prequel to Psycho, last night’s episode was important because it opened with Norman learning about taxidermy from Emma’s dad, Will. Norman is getting his poor dog stuffed and mounted and, no offense to any taxidermists out there, but it’s all a bit creepy. No wonder that, when Norma drops her son off at Will’s shop, she tells him that she’s not sure if Norman should be spending all of his time with dead things. Despite the fact that Will points out that taxidermy makes Norman happy, I can actually see Norma’s point. No mother looking forward to someday being able to play with her grandchildren is going to be happy about seeing her son taking up taxidermy or ventriloquism.

However, that’s the least of Norma’s problems. Despite her attempts to first flirt with and then blackmail Sheriff Romero (Nestor Carbonell), Romero refuses to use his influence to help Norma get a seat on the town’s planning commission. Instead, Romero, in that wonderful way that Nestor Carbonell has of being enigmatically threatening, tells her, “We’re not friends.”

Even worse, Norma can’t get Jake to leave the motel. In one of the best scenes of the entire first season, Norma follows Jake when Jake drives out to Deputy Shelby’s boat. (Or was it Keith’s boat? Sometimes, I have a hard time keeping all the dead perverts of Bates Motel straight.) When Jake discovers Norma watching him, Norma attempts to convince him that she hasn’t been following him. Speaking in a chillingly child-like voice, Jake replies, “Where’d you hide it?” (“It” being that sex slave who was last seen running off into the woods.) Norma finally finds the strength to order Jake out of her motel and, despite the fact that Jake leaves, it’s pretty obvious that he’s not gone.

Meanwhile, at the high school, poor Emma is hiding in the girls room stall and using her inhaler (which brought back a lot of asthmatic memories for me) when she overhears a group of mean girls talking about how weird Norman is and how there’s no way Bradley (Nicola Peltz) would ever sleep with him. This leads to Emma stepping out of the stall and telling them that Bradley did just that. Words get back to Bradley, Bradley gets mad at Norman, and Norman ends up up having a mini-breakdown at school. This leads to two scenes, a hilarious one where Norman and Norma attend a meeting with a therapist and a truly touching one in which Emma apologizes to Norman and tells him that she likes him. Awwwwwwwwwwww! Seriously, Norman and Emma are such a cute couple that it’s really a shame that one of them is destined to grow up to be a cross-dressing voyeuristic serial killer.

Finally, Dylan and Remo go on a road trip to pick up some hippies to work at the marijuana farm. One of the hippies is a really obnoxious guy with a guitar and I spent the last half of the show worried that he was going to be a new regular character. However, fortunately, he got on Dylan’s nerves so Dylan pulled a gun and left the guy and his guitar on the side of the road. Yay, Dylan!

Since it first started two months ago, Bates Motel is a show that has struggled to find an identity. That, in itself, is not surprising. Few succesful TV shows look the same during their final season as they did during their first. I recently rewatched the pilot episode of Lost and I was surprised at how different it felt from the show that Lost eventually became. The fact that Bates Motel is struggling to find itself is not surprising. What is surprising is just how different Bates Motel can feel from week to week. Whereas last week’s episode felt a bit forced and melodramatic, this week’s episode felt a lot more self-aware. This week’s episode was deliberately over-the-top and campy, in a way that acknowledged how ludicrous the series can occasionally be without ever descending to self-parody. Bates Motel has already been renewed for a second season and hopefully, season 2 will look a lot like last night’s episode.

Random Observations:

Tonight’s episode ended with Norma finding Shelby’s mummified body in her bed. I’m assuming that was a message left for her by Jake, since I don’t think Norman has quite reached the grave robbery stage just yet.
The episode started out with clips from last week’s episode so, once again, I had to watch that poor little dog get hit by that car. I wanted to cry all over again.
Was it just me or did Sheriff Romero’s secretary sound like she had a bit of an atittude while she was talking to Norma on the phone? Speaking as an administrative professional, I thought that was a bit unprofessional.
Vera Farmiga’s scene with Nestor Carbonell was definitely Bates Motel at its best.
God, that guitar-strumming hippie was annoying.
“Actually…I’d like my room made up now…” Agck! Jere Burns is soooo creepy!
“Are you supposed to be putting your hands on the students?”
“Not many people write poetry but we still have to have poets, don’t we?”

Review: Bates Motel Episode 1.4 “Trust Me”

Posted on April 9, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night’s episode of Bates Motel might as well have been called “Norman Bates Gets Laid.”

Oh sure, a few other things happened during the episode. Norman hallucinated, Norma criticized, Deputy Shelby smiled blandly while thinking evil thoughts, a disembodied hand turned up, Dylan learned the truth about the man that Norman and Norma murdered way back in the first episode, and finally, during the show’s final moments, Norma got arrested for that very murder.

But, for the most part, this episode will mostly be remembered as the episode where Norman Bates got laid.

As I’ve said in previous reviews, Bates Motel’s main struggle has always been to find anything new to tell us about the character of Norman Bates. The character is so iconic that even those poor souls who haven’t seen Psycho are aware that Norman Bates owned a motel, dressed up like his dead mother, and killed people. On Bates Motel, Freddie Highmore has done a good job bringing the teenage Norman Bates to life but it can still be difficult to emotionally connect with him because you know that eventually he’s going to grow up to be a peeping tom serial killer cross-dresser.

However, after four episodes, I think that actually might be Bates Motel’s greatest strength. Since we know what Norman’s eventually going to become, it’s oddly compelling to watch him do things that we usually wouldn’t give a second thought to if they were being done by any other character on television. For instance, any character on television could have ended up having sex with the oddly-named Bradley (Nicola Peltz). But, since the character here is Norman Bates, the viewers are now left wonder whether Bradley will survive the experience.

And that’s why, even if it’s occasionally a struggle to remain emotionally invested in the adolescence of Norman Bates, I’ll be back next week to see what happens.

Random Observations:

Of course, I’m assuming that Norman and Bradley actually had sex. The scene itself was filmed in such an over-the-top, romanticized manner — with Norman and Bradley making love under those crisp blue sheets and Bradley smiling beatifically — that I actually found myself wondering whether it was meant to be one of Norman’s hallucinations. With this show, it’s definitely possible.
In case you were wondering, last week’s cliffhanger was resolved by having Dylan distract Shelby long enough for Norman to sneak back out of the basement. Norman told Norma about Shelby’s sex slave, which led to Norma checking for herself and finding no evidence of anyone being held prisoner in the basement. Though I know it’s a long shot, what if the woman in the basement turns to be another Norman hallucination? That would be a neat twist to the plot, no?
In fact, what if the entire show is just a hallucination!? Okay, I need to stop before I blow my own mind…
If anyone was born to play a femme fatale in a film noir, it’s Vera Farmiga. It’ll be a crime if she doesn’t, at the very least, receive an Emmy nomination for her performance here.
Emma’s father (played by veteran British actor Ian Hart) seemed to be a bit creepy, didn’t he? I’m not sure if the character was actually supposed to be that menacing or if we were just supposed to be seeing him through Norman’s eyes. If nothing else, his overprotectiveness of Emma nicely parallels Norma’s attitude towards her youngest son.
When he was first introduced, I was a little bit uncertain about the character of Dylan. I wasn’t sure whether or not his character was actually necessary. However, I think the character has developed quite nicely and I actually enjoy the scenes where Dylan’s mask slips and you see that he actually does care about his half-brother. Plus, it helps that Max Thierot couldn’t be unlikable if he tried.
Speaking of good performances, I’m continuing to love the subtle menace that Mike Vogel brings to the role of Deputy Shelby. I loved the scene where he took Norman fishing.
The most frequent complaint that I’ve heard about Bates Motel is that, despite the fact that a lot is happening, the show’s main story tends to proceed at such a deliberate pace that it’s occasionally difficult to remember what that story was supposed to be in the first place. Personally, I appreciate the fact that the show is taking its time. For horror to work on television, it’s important that the show’s atmosphere be just right. And a good atmosphere requires patience.
Bates Motel, incidentally, has been renewed for a second season so, for now, it can take as much time as it wants.