Tag Archives: Horrorthon

Happy Friday the 13th From All Of Us At The Shattered Lens

Posted on by Doc Bowman

Happy Friday the 13th!

Today is the greatest Friday of the year because today is not only the 13th but it’s also October 13th!  Some people consider Friday the 13th to be unlucky but those people have obviously never been the only “good girl” at a weekend party up at Camp Crystal Lake.  Ask any of them and they can tell you just how lucky Friday the 13th can be.

To our readers who are currently struggling today, we make the following suggestion: Turn off twitter.  Turn off MSNBC.  Turn off Fox.  Definitely turn off CNN.  And why not just sit back and enjoy the antics of those fun-loving kids up at Camp Crystal Lake?

In fact, in case you need help picking which movie to watch, the flame-haired one has reviewed every single one of them here on the Shattered Lens!  She personally recommends that you watch parts 1, 2, and 4 but it’s totally up to you!  Here’s some links to her reviews:

Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th Part 2

Friday the 13th Part 3

Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning

Friday the 13th: Jason Lives

Friday the 13th Part VII: A New Blood

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday

Jason X

Freddy vs Jason

Friday the 13th: The Pointless Remake

And then be sure to check out: 12 Thing You May Not Have Known About Friday the 13th and then read the flame-haired one’s review of Camp Crystal Lake Memories!

The world will still be here when you get back, we promise.

Happy Friday the 13th everyone!  Happy Horrorthon!

Cleaning Out The DVR: The Serial Killer Seduced Me (dir by Dylan Vox)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Lifetime film, The Serial Killer Seduced Me, tells the story of Chloe (Tess Cline).

Chloe is currently working as a nurse at an assisted living facility but what she truly wants is to be recognized as an artist.  One of her patients, Lillian (Kris Ann Russell), is always encouraging Chloe to pursue her artistic dreams.  In fact, Lillian has quite a collection of art herself.  She gives Chloe the key to her house so that Chloe can get some of her paintings.  When Chloe goes to the house, she finds a painting of a young woman.  What we know but what Chloe doesn’t know is that someone murdered the woman after she posed for the painting.

Speaking of murder, someone smothers Lillian in her sleep.  Chloe is so upset over Lillian’s death that she barely pays attention when her agent, Chase (Allen Williamson), tells her that he needs some of her paintings.  Chloe signs a contract that Chase pushes in front of her.  Later, while Chloe is still in shock over Lillian’s death, she gets a call from Chase informing her that he’s set up a show for her at a local gallery.

Excited, Chloe goes to the gallery and discovers that not only has Chase hung several of her paintings in the gallery but that everyone also seems to like them.  However, the painting that everyone loves appears to be the painting of the woman that Chloe found at Lillian’s house.  Chloe is stunned, especially after a man approaches her and claims to be the husband of the woman in the painting.  The man shouts that the woman was murdered and then he goes outside and promptly gets run over by a car that ignores a stop sign.

Chloe doesn’t know what to do.  She doesn’t want to take credit for the painting but she signed a contract with Chase and Chase, when he finds out that Chloe didn’t actually paint the painting, proceeds to blackmail her.  Chase says that he needs more paintings and that they need to be like the one that everyone liked, the one that Chloe didn’t actually paint.  A trip back to Lillian’s place leads to the discovery of the paintings of several women.  Chloe notices that the paintings are numbered and she deduces that all the women in the paintings have been murdered.

Chase doesn’t care.  He’s got paintings to sell and he want Chloe to sit down for an interview with a journalist named Ariadne (Kristi Murdock).  Chloe, however, is now more concerned with Luke (Ali Zahiri), who is Lillian’s son and who is quite a fan of her art.  Chloe knows that there’s a good chance that Luke might be the murderer but she’s also feeling attracted to him.

Uh-oh!

I enjoyed the Lifetime film, largely because it thoroughly embraced the melodrama in the way that the best Lifetime films often do.  I enjoyed the film’s satiric look at the art world and, even more importantly, Chloe’s outfits were all to die for.  From the minute she showed up with her thigh high boots and her portfolio of pretentious paintings, I knew Chloe was going to be a character to whom I could relate.  The solution to the film’s mystery didn’t really make much sense but …. eh.  I wasn’t expecting it to make any sense so it didn’t really matter.

This film was originally entitled Picture Her Dead, which personally I think was a better and more appropriate title than The Serial Killer Seduced Me.

 

Music Video of the Day: If Darkness Had A Son by Metallica (2023, directed by Timothy Saccenti)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Today’s music video of the day is the third single from Metallica’s 11th studio album (and the second Metallica album to be released by their own label), 72 Seasons.  This video finds the band performing in front of what appears to be a tank that is full of both water and flames.  This song marries the hard sound of Metallica with some of the most serious and introspective lyrics that James Hetfield has ever sung.  If darkness had a son, who would that son be?

Along with directing several other videos from 72 Seasons, Timothy Saccenti has worked with Korn, Phantogram, Franz Ferdinand, Depeche Mode, and the Animal Collective.

Enjoy!

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 5.5 “Shadow Puppets” (dir by Roger Andrieux)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, a psychologist (Brian Kerwin) learns about the dangers of manipulating a patient.  As you may be able to guess, The Hitchhiker dislikes psychologists almost as much as he dislikes tabloid journalists.  In fact, is there anyone that The Hitchhiker does like?

This episode originally aired on July 8th, 1989.

October Hacks: The Majorettes (dir by Bill Hinzman)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

1987’s The Majorettes takes place in a small town in Pennsylvania.  It’s the type of town where everyone follows the high school football team, everyone goes to church on Sunday, and everyone admires the baton-twirling high school majorettes, even more so than the cheerleaders.

Unfortunately, it appears that someone is murdering the majorettes, one-by-one.  The first majorette victim is murdered while out on a date with Tommy, the class nerd.  (Poor old Tommy is killed as well.)  Her body is left in a creek.  The second victim is killed while lounging in front of her swimming pool.  The third victim is killed in the shower.  Detective Roland Martell (Cal Hetrick) thinks that the murders are linked to some sort of purification ritual.  Sheriff Braden (Mark V. Jivicky) says that he agrees but he doesn’t really have much time to worry about motives.  Braden’s dismissal of Martell could be due to the fact that Braden is a deeply religious man who we first see observing a creek baptism and singing a gospel song.  Meanwhile, Martell is an agnostic who is having an affair with a teenage girl named Nicole (Jacqueline Bowman).

Who could be the murderer?  Could it be Harry (Harold K. Keller), the slow-witted handyman who is always watching the majorettes while they’re practicing and who peeps on them and takes pictures while they’re changing in the locker room?

Could it be Harry’s mother, Helga (Denise Huot)?  Helga is a nurse who is plotting to murder both majorette Vicky McAlister (Terrie Godfrey) and her grandmother as a part of her plot to inherit the McAlister fortune.  But just because Helga is planning to kill one majorette, that doesn’t necessarily mean that she killed the others.

Or could the murderer be the school’s resident dope dealer, Mace (Tom E. Desrocher)?  Mace spends most of his time hanging out with his gang in their trailer, which is decorated with Confederate flags and 666 graffiti.  Mace was seen with the first victim and quarterback Jeff Holloway (Kevin Kindlin) is pretty sure that Mace was responsible for the murder.  When Jeff goes to the police, Mace decides to go after Jeff.

Anyone of them could be the murderer.  I won’t spoil the killer’s identity, beyond telling you that we learn who the killer is about halfway through the film.  And once the killer is known, The Majorettes goes from being a high school slasher film to being a backwoods action/revenge film, complete with shotguns being fired, vehicles blowing up, and Jeff the clean-cut quarterback suddenly running around with an arsenal of weapons.  Ultimately, The Majorettes feels like 3 different movies in one, with moments of horror balanced with scenes of Lifetime-style melodrama and Cannon-style action.  To be honest, the entire film is a bit silly but there’s enough twists and turns to hold one’s interest.  It’s hard not to enjoy the film’s “just toss it all in” approach to storytelling.

The Majorettes was based on a novel by John Russo, who is also credited as one of the screenwriters on Night of the Living Dead.  The film itself was directed by Bill Hinzman, who played the first zombie to show up in Romero’s classic film.  There’s not much visual flair to Hinzman’s direction but he keeps the action moving and really, that’s the most important thing that one can do with a film like The Majorettes.

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: Creature From Black Lake (dir by Joy N. Houck, Jr.)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s Bigfoot time!

1976’s Creature From Black Lake tells the story of two students at the University of Chicago.  Pahoo (Dennis Fimple) and Rives (John David Carson) decide that they want to spend their Spring Break on the Arkansas/Louisiana border, researching the legend that a Bigfoot-like creature that lives in the bayous.  (The creature is obviously based on the legendary Fouke Monster, who was also the subject of the 1972 documentary, The Legend of Boggy Creek.)

Pahoo and Rives head down South, looking to interview anyone who has seen the Creature From Black Lake.  Some people are willing to talk to them and they tell stories involving the Creature causing cars to crash, killing dogs, and attacking fisherman.  The Creature does not sound nice at all.  Still, the majority of the people in town don’t really feel like opening up to two Yankee monster hunters.  They’re worried that Pahoo and Rives are only in town because they want to portray everyone as being a bunch of ignorant rednecks who are scared of things that go bump in the night.

And really, they have every right to be concerned.  I grew up all over the South and the Southwest.  My family briefly lived in Fouke, the home of the Fouke Monster.  (No, I never saw or heard the monster, mostly because the monster doesn’t exist.)  When I was a kid, I lived in both Louisiana and Arkansas, among other states.  From my own personal experience, I can tell you that there is no one more condescending than a Northerner who is visiting the South for the very first time.   “Why is it so hot?”  “Why is everyone down here so polite?”  “Why can’t I find a Wawa!?”  Seriously, it gets old really quickly.  Now, to their credit, Pahoo and Rives are actually pretty polite and considerate when talking to the people who think that they have seen the Creature From Black Lake.  But still, one can understand why the town isn’t exactly thrilled to have them asking about monsters.

Anyway, after interviewing both Jack Elam and Dub Taylor about their experiences with the monster and getting yelled at by the local sheriff (played by Bill Thurman), Pahoo and Rives head out to the local swamp, hoping to find the creature themselves.  That, of course, turns out to be a huge mistake on their part.

Creature From Black Lake is a deliberately-paced film, which is a polite way of saying that it’s a bit slow.  Obviously inspired by The Legend of Boggy Creek, a good deal of the film is taken up with scenes of Pahoo and Rives interviewing people about their encounters with the monster.  That said, the film definitely picks up when Pahoo and Rives head into the swamp themselves and their eventual meeting with the monster is well-directed.  I have to admit that I spent this entire film dreading the moment when it would be revealed that the Monster was actually misunderstood and peaceful and I appreciated that the film did not go that route.  The creature turns out to be no one’s friend and is genuinely menacing.

The cast is full of familiar county character actors, all of whom do a good job bringing their characters to life.  Dennis Fimple and John David Carson are likable as the two students.  This film was also an early credit for cinematographer Dean Cudney and, just as he would later do for John Carpenter, Cudney creates a perfectly ominous atmosphere of isolation.  Creature From Black Lake may start out slow but, ultimately, it’s an effective creature feature.

 

Scary Bride (2020, directed by Dan Grin)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Anthony (Vitt Ray) is a loser living in Minnesota who cannot get over his ex-girlfriend.  He decides to do what his neighbor did and fly over to Russia so he can search for a woman who is desperate to get married.  Anthony’s trip to Russia starts out promising enough, with a meeting with a helpful cab driver and a trip to a dance club where Anthony meets the beautiful Nina (Evgeniya Yarushnikova).  But then Nina turns out to be a witch who literally wants to take way Anthony’s balls.  After putting a curse on him, Nina chases Anthony through Moscow, while Anthony searches for anyone who can remove the curse.

This film’s plot is pretty much a one-joke premise.  Anthony even breaks the fourth wall and says, “Sometimes, it’s better to look for a bride in your own country.”  The movie plays with the stereotype that you can get anything you’re looking for in Moscow, if you know the right people.  (Needless to say, this film was made before Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.)  What’s interesting is the film itself is a Russian film so the humor is less about Russia being a dangerous place and more about how stupid Americans like Anthony are for coming over in search of a bride.  This is a Russian film that tells the rest of the world to stay out of Russia.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for that one-joke premise to get old.  Anthony is not a likable hero.  The witch could have done better.  The version that’s on Tubi is dubbed into English and it is some of the worst voicework that I’ve ever heard, with Anthony in particular getting a deep voice that does not at all go along with his character.  Even though they were supposed to be residents of Minnesota, Anthony’s neighbor is dubbed with a British accent and keeps calling everyone “mate.”  Evgeniya Yarushnikova is beautiful enough that it is easy to believe that any man would fall under her spell but the rest of the movie is just the same joke told over and over again.

Retro Television Reviews: Jennifer Slept Here 1.2 “Jennifer: The Movie”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Jennifer Slept Here, which aired on NBC in 1983 and 1984.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, the afterlife of film star Jennifer Farrell continues as a Hollywood production company comes to the house to shoot a scene for their Jennifer biopic!

Episode 1.2 “Jennifer: The Movie”

(Dir by John Bowab, originally aired on October 28th, 1983)

The second episode of Jennifer Slept Here opens with ghostly Jennifer in a good mood.  A movie is being made about her life and Joey has somehow gotten a hold of the script.  Jennifer reads the script and announces that the movie is going to be the “great biopic since Gandhi!  And I look a lot better under a sheet!”

(The audience loves that line.)

Jennifer’s main concern is who is going to be play her in the movie and, at her insistence, Joey asks his parents.  Since his parents are wacky sitcom parents, it takes them forever to finally reveal that not only is Jennifer going to be played by Sheila Drake (Lynnda Ferguson) but that a scene from the movie is going to be filmed at the house.  Jennifer is not a fan of Sheila Drake’s and she takes out her annoyance by playing the piano.  When his mother comes in the room to see who is so beautifully playing the piano, Joey is forced to pretend to be a talented musical prodigy.

Later, Jennifer is super-excited when the film crew shows up at the house to shoot a scene in which she talks to a producer.  This actually leads to a rather poignant moment in which Jennifer tries to talk to a few familiar members of the crew, just to be reminded that she’s dead and they can no longer hear her.  (When I say that the scene is poignant, it’s almost all totally due to the performance of Ann Jillian.)

However, Jennifer is not amused when she discovers that Sheila is planning on playing her as a “cheap tramp” who slept her way to the top.  Jennifer goes out of her way to disrupt filming, first by unplugging a power chord and then, after Sheila has gone up to Joey’s room to wait while the next scene is set up, spraying Sheila with water and then ripping off Sheila’s skirt.  Because Joey is in the room at the time, he gets blamed for both of these incidents.  So, I guess Joey’s going to jail and get booked on assault charges now, right?  Nope.  Instead, Sheila just walks off the picture.

The director (Luis Avalos) is freaking out because he’s got “a six million dollar picture” and no star when suddenly, Joey’s mom announces that there’s someone that the director should see.  The director says he doesn’t want to see anyone but then, Jennifer comes walking down the stairs.  AND EVERYONE CAN SEE HER!

It turns out that Jennifer has the ability to be seen when she wants to be seen.  She convinces the crew that she’s Sheila’s stand-in and then she shoots the scene the way that it really happened, revealing that she was a hard-worker who earned her roles with her talent.  Unfortunately, when the scene is later watched by the family, it turns out that the stand-in does not appear on camera.  (Instead, just as in The Invisible Man, the camera just picks up Jennifer’s dress moving around on its own.)  The family assumes that it was a problem with the camera while only Joey knows that it’s because Jennifer’s a ghost.

Accompanied by Jennifer (who is once again invisible to everyone but him), Joey heads down to a snooty restaurant where he confronts Sheila and, with Jennifer’s help, blackmails her to return to the film.  Joey threatens to reveal that Sheila steals her wardrobe from her movies and that she once spent a night in Madrid with a soccer team.  If I was Sheila, I would reply by calling the police and telling them that Joey was in the room when I was sprayed with water and had my skirt ripped off.  But apparently, everyone’s moved on from that.

Sheila returns to the film and shoots the scene, this time the way that it actually happened.  Jennifer wipes away a tear.  Awwwww!

Hey, this isn’t actually was not a bad episode.  It was certainly an improvement over the pilot and Ann Jillian did a great job playing up both Jennifer’s pride in her career and her anger that her accomplishments were being denigrated by a lesser actress.  The supporting characters continue to be the show’s biggest weakness but this episode largely worked, even if it never really made sense for the director to be okay with the family hanging out at the house while they were shooting the film.

Next week: Joey and his loser friend Marc both want to date the same girl!

Horror Scenes That I Love: Sid Haig in House of 1000 Corpses

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Rob Zombie’s 2003 directorial debut, House of 1000 Corpses, is a film for which I have somewhat mixed feelings but I do think it deserves some credit for reintroducing the character actor Sid Haig to audiences.

Haig started acting when he was in high school and attended the Pasadena Playhouse, the same acting school where Robert Preston, Gene Hackman, and Dustin Hoffman had trained.  He moved to Hollywood with his former roommate, actor Stuart Margolin, and Haig soon found himself being cast as criminals and occasionally revolutionaries.  Haig grew tired of playing simple-minded thugs and actually retired from acting in 1992 and worked as a hypnotherapist.  Quentin Tarantino tracked Haig down to offer him the role of Marcellus Wallace in Pulp Fiction.  Haig turned him down but then regretted his decision when he saw the film.  When Tarantino subsequently offered him a cameo in Jackie Brown, Haig accepted the role and returned to the big screen.

That said, it was his performance as the nightmarish clown, Captain Spaulding, in Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects that definitely put Haig back on the pop cultural radar.  In this scene from House of 1000 Corpses, Haig shows that even a clown can defend himself.