Bay of Blood (1971, dir by Mario Bava, DP: Mario Bava)
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting Mario Bava’s Bay of Blood!
If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! The film is available on Prime and Tubi! I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, it’s two stories for the price of one!
Episode 2.18 “A Friend To The End”
(Dir by David Morse, originally aired on April 17th, 1989)
Before I say anything else about this episode, I should make clear that I’ve been watching Friday the 13th on YouTube. Every episode has been uploaded and 99% of the uploads are clean and clear and easy to follow. Unfortunately, this episode was the exception. The sound quality was terrible. The image was often blurry. I’m not sure why this episode — and none of the other uploaded episodes — was so bad but it was bad enough that I occasionally struggled to follow the plot. That’s not the fault of the show. It’s just that the video that was uploaded to YouTube was really bad. While I think I got the gist of the episode, I should still make clear that I watched it under less than ideal conditions.
This episode actually tells two stories. With Jack out of town, Micki and Ryan are trying to retrieve the Shard of Medusa, a crystal that turns people into statues. DeJager (Donna Goodhand) is the artist who currently owns the shard and who is using it to turn her models into stone. What’s interesting about this story is that, when the episode begins, we join in medias res. Micki and Ryan already know that DeJager has the shard and they’re already making a plan for Micki to go undercover as a model.
Unfortunately, they’re so busy trying to get back the shard that they don’t really have time to look after J.B. (Zachary Bennett), Micki’s young nephew who keeps getting left at the antique store while his newly-divorced mother runs off with her latest boyfriend. (Interestingly, Ryan scornfully asks Micki about “your sister,” but since Micki is Ryan’s cousin, wouldn’t Micki’s sister also be his cousin?) While Micki and Ryan are busy trying to get back the shard, J.B. is breaking into a nearby haunted house and befriending a troubled boy named Ricky (Keram Malicki-Sanchez). What J.B. does not know is that Ricky is actually a living dead boy who is kept alive by a cursed coffin. In order to continue to live, Ricky has to sacrifice people to the coffin. Ricky isn’t happy about this. He just wants a friend. J.B. is willing to be that friend but what will happen when Ricky, desperately in need of a new sacrifice, turns his gaze towards Micki?
One of the strange things about this episode is that, when J.B. tells Micki and Ryan about Ricky, they both assume that he’s just making something up. After everything Micki and Ryan have seen, would they really be so skeptical about J.B. claiming to have met a ghost in a long-abandoned house? The other interesting thing about this episode is that the two storylines didn’t really intersect, beyond the fact that J.B. felt neglected because Micki and Ryan were spending so much time trying to get the shard. At one point, DeJager breaks into the store and briefly grabs J.B. but that’s something that probably would have happened regardless of whether or not J.B. had ever met Ricky.
Did this episode work? I’m hesitant to give a final verdict because of the poor quality of the upload. That said, Keram Malicki-Sanchez gave a good performance as the tragic Ricky and I appreciated how all of the stuff with DeJager almost played out like a good-natured parody of a typical Friday the 13th episode. Bad upload and all, this episode worked for me.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.
This week, Abe Vigoda and Brad Greenquist star as two criminals who discover that they have an unexpected visitor in the basement of their cabin.
Episode 2.22 “The Gift”
(Dir by Jeffrey Wolf, originally aired on May 20th, 1990)
Two low-life criminals, Sid (Abe Vigoda) and his protege, Kirby (Brad Greenquist), show up at a cabin in the mountains. They have a rich kid named Jeffrey (Zach Overton) with them. They’ve kidnapped Jeffrey from his exclusive private school and they are planning to hold him until they get paid several million dollars.
Wanting to keep the kid comfortable, Sid tells Kirby to look in the basement for blankets. Kirby doesn’t find any blankets but he does a find a mysterious wolfman. Kirby shoots the wolfman twice but the wolfman survives. Kirby then chains up both Jeffrey and the Wolfman in the basement. Kirby thinks that it might be a good idea to forget about the whole kidnapping scheme but Sid is determined to get the money.
In the basement, Jeffrey discovers that the Wolfman can communicate with him through telepathy. The Wolfman introduces himself as being William (physically played by Carlos Lauchu, with a voice provided by John Michael Bolger). William explains that he’s not a monster. Instead, he’s just a man who, centuries ago, was granted magical abilities by an old traveler. Now, William is over 200 years old. He’s nearly immortal but he’s also lonely. Jeffrey is the first person who has been willing to listen to William in a long time.
Jeffrey and William bonding in the basement is undeniably sweet but Sid and Kirby are still holding Jeffrey hostage and, as time passes, it becomes obvious that they’re planning on killing both Jeffrey and his new friend. William explains that there is a way that he can ensure that Jeffrey will survive and that he’ll be able to defeat both Sid and Kirby. But it will involve Jeffrey making a huge sacrifice of his own….
This episode was fairly dull. When it started, I was hoping that the show would at least do a Ransom of Red Chief sort of thing and have Jeffrey turn out to be such a brat that absolutely no one would be willing to pay a cent to get him back. I think that would have been more interesting than what we ended up with, an episode in which Jeffrey awkwardly bonded with a werewolf who could only communicate through telepathy because moving his mouth probably would have made the actor’s mask look even cheaper than it already did. Abe Vigoda and Brad Greenquist were well-cast as the two criminals. Vigoda, in particular, did a good job of portraying Sid’s outwardly calm but still ruthless demeanor. Otherwise, this was a fairly dull episode that didn’t really do much with its potentially intriguing premise.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
This week, Baywatch Nights tries to open an X-File.
Episode 2.18 “Symbol of Death”
(Dir by Richard Friedman, originally aired on April 19th, 1997)
After he’s found wandering around the city and babbling incoherently, Daimont Teague is taken to the hospital. Mitch and Ryan are called to come get him but, by the time they show up, Teague has already wandered off. Teague’s doctor hands Ryan a blue rock that Teague wanted her to have. Suddenly, there’s an explosion in the hospital. Mitch falls to the floor, holding his knee. A wild-eyed man wearing a beret (Terry Kiser) grabs Ryan’s purse. Ryan chases after him and beats him up in the parking lot. Ryan is more upset over her purse nearly being stolen than she is over an apparent terrorist bombing at a hospital. And I don’t blame her! I’d kill to protect any of my purses.
The purse thief turns out to be George Wilson. Wilson explains that he’s a writer and an expert on UFOs. He believes that aliens are already on the Earth and that there’s a huge interstellar conspiracy that controls everything that happens on this planet. (Of course, this show has already established that it’s actually the Knights Templar who control everything.) The blue rock contains some sort of alien presence that apparently possessed Teague and is currently causing him to stumble around the city. Wilson and Ryan team up to track down Teague and protect him from the aliens. It doesn’t make any damn sense but let’s just go with it.
Due to Mitch injuring his knee when that bomb went off, the Hoff is barely in this episode. For that matter, neither Griff nor Donna are in this episode, either. I’m going to guess that this was a cost-cutting measure on the part of the producers because, if there’s any episode in which it would have made sense to call in Griff and Donna, it’s this episode. They could have helped in the search for Teague. As it is, it falls to Ryan and Wilson to do most of the searching. Terry Kiser, who is best known for playing the titular Bernie in Weekend at Bernie’s, is always an amusing presence and he seems to be having a ball playing such a paranoid character. That said, it’s hard not to be a little bit amazed at how quickly Ryan is willing to forgive him for trying to steal her purse.
This episode owed a lot to the X-Files, with its aliens and its murky talk of conspiracies. Unfortunately, it lacks all of the atmosphere necessary to really make its conspiracy-fueled plotline compelling. Despite all of the Dutch angles that are used in this episode, this is still basically a sunny and rather corny Baywatch spin-off. Rather than leaving me feeling paranoid, this episode just let me thinking about silly this whole series truly is. Don’t get me wrong, of course. It’s fun. But it’s also definitely very, very silly.
There’s only four more episodes of Baywatch Nights left to review. I’m going to miss this show after I finish.
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, at 9 pm et, Deanna Dawn will be hosting #ScarySocial! The movie? John Carpenter’s The Thing!
If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, Micki and Ryan search for a cursed World Series ring.
Episode 2.17 “The Mephisto Ring”
(Dir by Bruce Pittman, originally aired on April 10th, 1989)
In 1982, a gambler is shot and killed by an unknown assailant.
Seven years later, that gambler’s son, Donald Wren (Denis Forest), has developed a problem of his own. Despite his mother (Doris Petrie) begging him not to follow in his father’s footsteps, Donald has become a compulsive gambler. Unfortunately, Donald is not particularly talented at picking winners and, as a result, he’s deep in debt with the mob. Donald has dangerous men after him who want to know where their money is. However, when Donald discovers his father’s ring, things start to change for him.
The ring is a 1919 World Series ring and, as you probably already guessed, it’s cursed. All Donald has to do is put the ring on someone else’s finger and, after the ring kills that person, Donald will receive a vision of how a sporting event is going to end. Donald discovers who is going to win a basketball game, a horserace, and a UFC match. As Donald continues to use the ring, he starts to lose his mind. Friday the 13th has always felt like a show that’s actually about drug addiction, with the cursed objects not only killing people but also corrupting the minds of the people who own them. Donald goes from being a wimp to being someone who laughs maniacally while watching gangsters violently die.
With Jack away, it falls to Micki and Ryan to retrieve the ring. Donald’s mother wants him to give up the ring because she saw what it did to his father. But Donald refuses to surrender the ring, even when his use of it eventually leads to evil gangster Anthony Macklin (James Purcell) abducting his mother. Donald is able to convince Macklin to wear the ring. Macklin is promptly killed but, when Donald still refuses to give up the ring, his mother ends up shooting Donald in the head. As she explains to Micki and Ryan, she had to do the same thing to Donald’s father. After putting the ring in the vault, Micki and Ryan agree to keep the mother’s history of murder a secret.
This was an okay episode. The most interesting thing about it was that Micki and Ryan, even while they were searching for the ring, were pretty much bystanders to the drama involving Donald, his mother, and the gangsters. Other than a scene where Micki pretended to be flirt with Donald in order to get him to leave a bar with her, neither Micki and Ryan really did much in this episode. Denis Forest, making his second appearance on Friday the 13th, gave a good performance as Donald and even managed to generate some sympathy for the character. The gangsters felt like they were left over from an episode of T and T. As I said, it was an okay episode but not one that made a huge impression.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.
This week, Monsters takes a turn into le Carré territory.
Episode 2.21 “Refugee”
(Dir by Scott Vickrey, originally aired on Mary 13th, 1990)
Paul (Peter White) is an agent of the CIA. He lives in a run-down apartment, hiding himself from the world and apparently wracked with guilt and regret over some of the things that he did for his country. In the style of many a John le Carré protagonist, he served his country and has been left thoroughly disillusioned as a result. His former superior, Oliver (Philip Abbott), comes to Paul with a proposal. There’s a Russian scientist who is looking to defect. She has apparently spent years trying to escape from Russia. If Paul helps her cross the border and stays with her in a safehouse until the CIA can come and get her, Oliver will never ask Paul to do another thing. Paul’s service as a spy will be terminated.
A reluctant Paul agrees and he is indeed able to get Anna Solenska (Judy Geeson) across the border and into a safehouse. However, Paul realizes that two men have followed them and now want to enter the safehouse themselves. Paul assumes that they work for the KGB but actually, they’re agents of Satan! Apparently, Anna agreed to sell her soul in return for Satan helping her to escape Russia. And now, Satan has sent his people to collect….
Seriously, if you’ve ever wondered what it was like to live under a communist regime, just consider that someone was willing to sell their soul to escape! That’s one reason why I’m proud to be an American and to be a capitalist. No matter what problems we may have in this country, no one is selling their soul to escape. No one is summoning Satan and saying, “Hey, help me get to Cuba!” Capitalism for the win!
As for this episode, I liked the idea behind it. I liked the concept of mixing spy melodrama with supernatural horror. Peter White actually gave a pretty good performance as the burned-out spy and I enjoyed the opening conversation between him and his former superior. But once the episode move to the safehouse, the action started to drag. Monsters is only a 21-minute show so there’s no reason why an episode should have had me checking how much running time was left as often as this one did. British actress Judy Geeson did a good enough job playing Anna’s desperation but her Russian accent was bad enough that it actually distracted from the story. Finally, Satan’s agents were never as scary as servants of the devil should be. This show’s saving grace has usually been its monsters but, in this episode, they were just men with red skin and glowing fingertips.
Sad to say, despite an intriguing premise, this episode was just kind of boring.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
Mitch does not want to believe.
Episode 2.17 “The Servant”
(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on April 12th, 1997)
There’s something strange happening at a warehouse that stores ancient artifacts. The wealthy woman (Renee Suran) who owns the warehouse claims that someone wrapped in bandages killed both a security guard and her chauffeur. She goes to Daimont Teague and, of course, Teague takes her to Ryan and Mitch.
“I want you to solve my murder,” the woman says, convinced that she’s destined to be killed by whatever it was that she saw in the warehouse.
The killer was wrapped in bandages and Mitch is stunned to discover that the killer apparently took four bullets without even slowing down. In fact, one of the bullets is found on the ground and it doesn’t have a bit of blood or bodily tissue on it. What could be going on?
Ryan and Teague suggest that the killer could be a mummy.
Mitch gets angry, saying that there’s no way a mummy has come back to life and is killing people and stealing artifacts from the warehouse. Even when Ryan tells him about an ancient curse that may have been activated by the removal of the artifacts from a tomb, Mitch says that he doesn’t believe in mummies. He’s a skeptic!
Okay, I’ve done this before but let’s do it begin. Here are just a few things that have happened to Mitch since the start of season 2.
Mitch has dealt with a huge number of sea monsters.
Mitch has dealt with space spores that caused animals to explode.
Mitch has witnessed Donna get possessed by the spirit of a serial killer.
Mitch has been transported through time and has been chased by an axe-wielding maniac from the turn of the century.
Mitch has battled a werewolf.
Mitch has battled a vampire.
Mitch has discovered that the world is secretly controlled by the Knights Templar.
Mitch has witnessed two 800 year-old Vikings come back to life and immediately resume their blood feud.
And that’s just scratching the surface! After seeing all of that, Mitch somehow cannot bring himself to believe that there is a mummy wandering around a warehouse that appears to only house cursed Egyptian artifacts. Myself, I think just the stuff with the Vikings would have convinced me to believe just about anything.
My personal theory is that, much like the protagonist of a Lovecraft short story, Mitch does believe in the mummy but he’s insisting that he doesn’t because he know that accepting it as reality will lead to him losing his mind.
Fortunately, Ryan is not as skeptical as Mitch and she’s able to discover that the mummy and the missing artifacts are all a part of a plot to open up a mystical portal. Fortunately, she and Mitch are able to thwart the plans of Dr. Kasan (Erick Avari). Seriously, if everyone had listened to Mitch, Malibu would have been invaded by hundreds of mummies.
This episode was dull. The cast was noticeably small, with regulars Griff and Donna noticeably absent from the proceedings, the warehouse and the mummy looked cheap, and the only think creating any atmosphere was an overuse of Dutch angles. Angie Harmon was great as usual but, surprisingly considering that his signature brand is overwhelming earnestness, David Hasselhoff seemed bored with the whole thing. This mummy should have been kept under wraps.
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, at 9 pm et, Tim Buntley will be hosting #ScarySocial! The movie? 2016’s The Witch!
If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, a nerdy film students takes his love of a 1940s horror film too far!
Episode 2.16 “Scarlet Cinema”
(Dir by David Winning, originally aired on February 20th, 1989)
Darius Pogue (Jonathan Wise) is a nerdy film student who is obsessed with The Wolf Man. When Darius steals an old antique movie camera, he discovers that, by looking through the camera’s view finder, he can bring The Wolf Man to life and send him to kill anyone who annoys him. Darius kills a snooty antique store manager. He kills a bully. He kills his professor. He even sends the wolf after Ryan and a girl that Darius likes.
However, as much as Darius enjoys sending the Wolf Man after people, he wants to be the Wolf Man himself. After allowing the Wolf Man to scratch him, Darius shoots him with silver bullets. Transforming into a werewolf himself, Darius goes after Ryan, Micki, and Jack. Unfortunately, Darius didn’t consider that film stock is full of silver nitrate. Live by the film, die by the film….
This episode was a case where the premise was pretty interesting but the execution didn’t quite work. The episode mixes in archival footage from The Wolf Man with scenes of Darius’s victims meeting their fate. So, for example, one sees Lon Chaney Jr. turning into the Wolf Man and then the viewer sees The Wolf Man killing one of Darius’s classmates. The problem is that the Friday the 13th werewolf makeup doesn’t really look much like the Wolf Man makeup. Regardless of how darkly lit each scene is, it’s pretty obvious that the Wolf Man from the film is not the same Wolf Man that is doing Darius’s bidding. It not only negates the whole idea behind the cursed antique but it’s also pretty distracting for those of us just trying to watch the show. And, again, it’s a shame because the idea behind this episode was actually pretty clever.
Myself, I’ve always liked the original Wolf Man. Eventually, Larry Talbot got a bit too whiny for his own good and it’s pretty much impossible to buy the idea of the hulking, very American Lon Chaney, Jr. as the son of the sophisticated and very British Claude Rains. But, even with all that in mind, The Wolf Man holds up as a classic American horror film, full of atmosphere and featuring a pretty impressive monster. Friday the 13th deserves some credit for making Darius a Wolf Man fan because The Wolf Man, with its portrait of a man being driven mad by a curse that he cannot control, fits in perfectly with the main idea behind Friday the 13th. Darius, like most of the villains on this show, isn’t really evil until he starts using the camera. Each times he picks up the camera, his actions become progressively worse. Just as Larry Talbott was cursed by the werewolf, Darius is cursed by the camera. Much like a drug addict, Darius falls in love with the camera and he just can’t stop using it. His addiction changes his personality as it becomes all-consuming,. Eventually, it drives him to become the Wolf Man himself.
The episode ends with another cursed antique safely hidden away and Darius joining Larry Talbot in the cold embrace of death. There was a lot of potential to this episode so it’s a shame that it didn’t quite work.
Through the Shattered Lens 