10 Films For The Weekend (6/28/25)

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This is the last weekend of my vacation! I’ll be back on Monday. Here are a few film recommendations, inspired by both my vacation and the upcoming patriotic holiday!

Keeping The World Safe

Whenever anyone asks me what the best film ever made about Hawaii is (and it happens all the time, let me tell ya), I always reply with From Here To Eternity. Then I smile and say, “Or maybe it’s Hard Ticket To Hawaii!” Directed by Andy Sidaris, Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) has it all. A mutant snake, a sex doll-carrying assassin on a skateboard, a killer frisbee, the Molokai cops, a single-engine airplane, and Ridge from the Bold and the Beautiful! This is the film that taught me that the proper way to reply to a guy saying, “Nice ass!” was to smile and say, “You too, Pilgrim.” Hard Ticket To Hawaii is one of the most deliriously strange and entertaining films ever made and you can view it on Tubi!

After viewing Hard Ticket to Hawaii, be sure to check out Andy Sidaris’s other great film, Guns (1990). Guns not only features a tropical paradise but it also stars Erik Estrada, giving a totally over-the-top performance as the villain. Guns can be viewed on Tubi.

As a resident of Dallas, I will always have a soft place in my heart for Sidaris’s Day of The Warrior (1996), in which it is established that the world’s most evil secret organization is headquartered on top floor of the Bank America Plaza and that the evil mastermind lives in “North Dallas.” You probably have to be from Dallas to get the joke but it’s a good one. Day of the Warrior can be viewed on Tubi.

Finally, The Dallas Connection (1994) was directed by Andy’s son, Christian Drew Sidaris. I have to recommend this one because it not only takes place in Dallas but it’s actually named after the city as well! Filmed on location, this film features plenty of action and exploding toy boat. The Dallas Connection can be viewed on Tubi.

If you want your action stars to have a bit more of a social consciousness, Born Losers (1967) features Billy Jack (Tom Laughlin) in his first film appearance. In three subsequent films, Billy Jack would go on to fight for pacifism and Native American rights and would eventually becomes a U.S. Senator but, in this film, he just kills a bunch of bikers who have been harassing tourists in California. Born Losers can be viewed on Tubi.

God Bless America

Next Friday will be the Fourth of July. USA! USA! USA!

Invasion USA (1952) takes a look at what happens when a bunch of people take America for granted. Fortunately, Dan O’Herlihy is on hand to hypnotize everyone and force them to experience what life would be like if the communists took over America. Thank you, mysterious hypnotist! This film can be viewed on Tubi.

Years later, those commies were still trying to invade and divide America. Fortunately, Chuck Norris was available to stop them. Invasion U.S.A. (1985) features one of Richard Lynch’s greatest performances and it can be viewed on Tubi.

I Was A Communist For The FBI (1958) claims to tell the true story of a man who spent years working undercover as a communist. His family rejected him. His neighbors scorned him. This film is a real time capsule of the time it was made. That said, it’s portrayal of communists as being a bunch of upper class bigots who manipulate a working class that they have no interest in being a part of still feels relevant today. I Was A Communist For The FBI can be viewed on YouTube.

Odds and Ends

Cold In July (2014) is one of the best neo-noirs of the best ten years and it features an excellent performance from Don Johnson, whose weathered toughness gives him a gravitas that he was occasionally lacking in his younger years. It can be viewed on Tubi.

Finally, Jeff and I watched Smokey and the Bandit (1977) earlier this week. It’s one of Jeff’s favorites and, whenever I watch it, I’m always surprised to re-discover how much I enjoy it myself. Fast cars, a truck that looked a lot like the one my Dad used to drive, Southern scenery, and a theme song that gets stuck in your head, what’s not to like? I related to Sally Field’s confusion as to why anyone would want to eat at a “choke-n-puke.” It’s available on Netflix!

(Check out last weekend here!)

6 Classic Trailers For Loyalty & Law Day!

Posted on May 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since today is both Loyalty and Law Day here in the United States, it’s time for a special edition of Lisa Marie’s Grindhouse Trailers!

The Super Cops (1974)

So, you think you can just ignore the law, huh? Well, the Super Cops have got something to say about that! This film was based on the “true” adventures of two widely decorated NYPD cops. The cops were so good at their job that they were even nicknamed Batman and Robin. Of course, long after this movie came out, it was discovered that they were both corrupt and were suspected of having committed more crimes than they stopped. Amazingly, this film was directed by the same man who did Shaft. The Super Cops are kind of annoying, to be honest.

2. Super Fuzz (1980)

Far more likable than The Super Cops was Super Fuzz. Terence Hill plays a Florida cop who gets super powers! Ernest Borgnine is his hapless partner. The film was directed by Sergio Corbucci, of Django fame.

3. Miami Supercops (1985)

In 1985, Terence Hill returned as a Florida cop in Miami Supercops. This time, his old partner Bud Spencer accompanied him.

4. Miami Cops (1989)

Apparently, Miami needed a lot of cops because Richard Roundtree decided to join the force in 1989. Unfortunately, I could only find a copy of this trailer in German but I think you’ll still get the idea.

5. The Soldier (1982)

In order to celebrate loyalty, here’s the trailer for 1982’s The Soldier! They’re our government’s most guarded secret …. or, at least, they were. Then someone made a movie about them.

And finally, what better way to celebrate both Loyalty and Law Day than with a film that pays tribute to the Molokai Cops? From Andy Sidaris, it’s….

6. Hard Ticket To Hawaii (1987)

Happy May Day!

Scenes I Love: Ronn Moss Blows Up An Assassin in Hard Ticket To Hawaii

Posted on March 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, we celebrate the birthday of actor and musician, Ronn Moss!

In honor of this day, I was going to share a few scenes of Ronn as Ridge Forrester on The Bold and the Beautiful but then it occurred to me that, as much as all good people love B&B, Hard Ticket to Hawaii is even better. In today’s scene that I love, Ronn Moss not only blows up a skateboard assassin but the assassin’s sex doll as well. No one messes with Ronn Moss, his driver, or the Molokai cops!

Film Review: Hard Ticket To Hawaii (dir by Andy Sidaris)

Posted on March 6, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I absolutely love Hawaii.

Years ago, my family spent a wonderful summer in Hawaii. I’m not a swimmer and I have a morbid fear of drowning but oh my God, I loved walking along the Hawaiian beach. It was the most incredibly beautiful place that I had ever seen. The water was so blue. The trees were so green. And the people … oh my God, the people were so friendly and generous! I have never had more drugs randomly offered to me than when I was walking on the back in Hawaii. Even the screaming homeless people in Hawaii seemed nicer than the screaming homeless people on the mainland.

Of course, the truth is that no place is perfect. Undoubtedly, Hawaii had its dark side. I mean, just look at the 1987 film, Hard Ticket to Hawaii.

Directed by Andy Sidaris and officially the second film in his Triple B (Bullets, Bombs, and Babes) franchise, Hard Ticket To Hawaii has been described as being the greatest B-movie ever move. I don’t know if I’d go that far but it’s certainly the only Andy Sidaris film to ever air on TCM.

Hard Ticket To Hawaii tells the story about … well, actually, it tells a lot of stories. This is a Sidaris film, which means that it’s collection of bad puns, double entendres, cartoonish violence, and totally random scenes that don’t really link up to anything else in the film.

For instance, there’s a scene where a sportscaster interviews two former football players and has a panic attack when he thinks that the N-word has been broadcast on national television. But then it turns out that the feed went out before the word was uttered so … hey, problem solved. And it’s never spoken of again.

And then there’s an aging actress and a sleazy producer and they have a few scenes before they vanish from the film. I’m not sure why they were in the film in the first place. Maybe they were friends of Andy Sidaris.

And then there’s the giant mutant snake. It says something about the narrative strangeness of Hard Ticket To Hawaii that the giant mutant snake is just a relatively minor subplot.

The actual plot begins when two innocent Molokai cops are executed by some smug drug dealers. “Ah!” you say, “it’s going to be a film about drug runners!” No, actually it’s a film about diamond smugglers because the whole drug things get abandoned fairly quickly.

A stash of stolen diamonds is accidentally recovered by Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton). Donna and Taryn work for Molokai Cargo. They transport packages and they take tourists around the island. Except, Donna is also a secret government agent and apparently, Taryn is in the witness protection program.

Anyway, they not only find the stolen diamonds but they also lose the aforementioned mutant snake. With the smugglers determined to get the diamonds, Dona calls in Rowdy Abeline (Ronn Mass), cousin of Cody Abeline who was the lead character in Malibu Express. As soon as Rowdy arrives on the island, he is targeted by an assassin on a skateboard. The assassin is carrying a gun and sex doll but he didn’t consider that Rowdy would have a bazooka in the back of his jeep.

Meanwhile, there’s a guy named Shades who just hangs out on the beach while holding a submachine gun. He’s guarding something and Rowdy knows that he needs to get by Shades. Fortunately, a local woman always play frisbee with Shades.

“Good,” Rowdy says, “I can use that.”

And use that he does.

Now, this may all seem incredibly stupid but last year, the Alamo Drafthouse showed the frisbee scene before a showing of Free Fire and the audience went crazy. Seriously, it’s an iconic scene, even if it doesn’t make any sense. And hey, now I know what to say that next time a total stranger tells me that I have a nice ass.

You too, Pilgrim!

Hard Ticket To Hawaii is insane. (I haven’t even mentioned half of the crazy stuff that happens in this movie.) It makes absolutely no sense but it’s so quickly paced that it doesn’t matter. Hard Ticket To Hawaii cheerfully embraces its weirdness. It may not be any good but it is a lot of fun.

Add to that, Hawaii, as always, looks great!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCM6HCTJeRU

Scenes That I Love: The Frisbee Scene From Hard Ticket To Hawaii

Posted on July 5, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier today, since I’m off work for the week, I went down to the Alamo Drafthouse and I saw The Purge: Election Day.

The Alamo always shows old film clips and trailers before the main feature and seriously, it’s the best pre-show in town. That’s why you should always arrive 30 minutes before your film starts! Unfortunately, I was running late so I arrived with only five minutes to spare.

So, I only got to see one film clip before the movie but what a clip! I watched this clip and I laughed so hard that I knew that I simply had to share it with our readers here on the Shattered Lens. Here it is: the frisbee scene from Hard Ticket To Hawaii.

From now on, whenever a stranger yells out that I have a nice ass, I’m going to look over my shoulder at them, smile, and say, “So do you, pilgrim!”

(For the record, I have never seen Hard Ticket To Hawaii and I tracked down this scene by going to YouTube and doing a search for “frisbee scene.” That said, I have since learned that it’s an Andy Sidaris film and I’m pretty sure that Arleigh has mentioned being an Andy Sidaris fan.)