What Lisa Watched Last Night #118: Stalked By My Neighbor (dir by Doug Campbell)

Posted on March 22, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime original movie, Stalked By My Neighbor.

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, of course, the obvious reason was because it was on Lifetime and I love Lifetime movies. But, even if I wasn’t a Lifetime movie addict, I probably would have watched Stalked By My Neighbor. Stalked By My Neighbor is a great title. Whenever you see a Lifetime movie with the word “Stalk” in the title, you know that it’s going to be a good one.

What Was It About?

It’s a Lifetime homage to Rear Window! Jodi (Kelcie Stranahan) and her mother (Amy Pietz) move to the suburbs. A talented photographer, Jodi is still struggling to deal with the after-effects of a horrifying home invasion. Hiding out in her bedroom, Jodi watches her new neighborhood through the lens of her camera and eventually comes to believe that she may have witnessed the murder of a neighbor (Kelly Packard). While the police suspect that the murderer was the cute boy who lives next door (Grant Harvey), Jodi suspects that it may have actually been the dead woman’s niece (Katrina Norman). Soon, Jodi, camera in hand, is stalking her neighbors and trying to solve the mystery.

What Worked?

Stalked By My Neighbor was directed by Doug Campbell, who earlier this year gave us Sugar Daddies. As I previously stated in my review of Sugar Daddies, Campbell is one of the better filmmakers to regularly make films for Lifetime. (He also directed several of my favorite ….At 17 movies.) Much as he did with Sugar Daddies, Campbell strikes just the right balance between melodrama and realism. As both director and screenwriter, he pushes the story as far as it can go without allowing things to go overboard. The end result is a very entertaining film that is the epitome of why people like me love Lifetime movies.

Kelcie Stranahan was well-cast as Jodi and she had a lot of chemistry with Grant Harvey. As well, she and Amy Pietz were totally believable as mother-and-daughter. Wisely, while the film had a lot of fun with the more melodramatic elements of the mystery plot, Jodi’s PTSD was played totally straight and Stranahan did a great job of capturing Jodi’s fragile mental state. By the end of the film, Jodi is a role model for survivors everywhere.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked. This was Lifetime moviemaking at its best!

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I totally related to the character of Jodi, which is a huge reason why I enjoyed the movie. Towards the end of the film, Jodi had a fight with her mom and ended up getting grounded. Afterward, Jodi made it a point to elaborately apologize and then, as soon as her mom left the room, Jodi was sneaking out the bedroom window. That one scene pretty much epitomized my senior year of high school.

And really, the relationship between Jodi and her mom was the main reason why I loved Stalked By Neighbor. Don’t get me wrong. The mystery was fun. Grant Harvey was cute and the scene where he dances with Jodi was really well done. But ultimately, the film worked for me because I related so much to Jodi and I saw so much of my mom in her mom.

Lessons Learned

If you think you’re neighbor might be a murderer, always make sure you have an extra memory card for your camera. (Seriously, watch the movie. It’ll make sense.)

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: Confessions of a Go-Go Girl (dir. by Grant Harvey)

Posted on March 14, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, late, late last night, I was laying in bed, trying to get to sleep when I suddenly remembered that I had earlier recorded a movie called Confessions of a Go-Go Girl off of the Lifetime Movie Network. So I turned on the TV and I started watching, hoping that the movie would simply calm my racing mind and help me get to sleep. Instead, I found myself sitting up in bed for the next two hours, totally enraptured with this film.

After the first few minutes, I started to scream until my sister Erin woke up and rushed into my room. “What’s going on!?” she asked. “Erin,” I replied, “you have to watch this movie with me!” Erin stared at me for a few minutes before replying, “Oh my God, Lisa,” and then walking out of the room. So, after that, I started to call random friends, telling them about this movie. Unfortunately, most of them were already asleep since it was like 3 in the morning.

Anyway, long story short — I am really, really tired today! But enough about me. Let’s talk about Confessions of a Go-Go Girl.

Why Was I Watching It?

Okay, my friend Evelyn asked me this same question when I called her up last night at 3 in the morning and tried to convince her to come over and watch this with me. So, as I told her, “Oh. My. God. Are you like kidding me!? Confessions of a Go-Go Girl? How can you not watch it!?”

If I’ve learned anything, it’s that if “Confessions” appears in the title of a movie, there’s about a 75% chance that it’s going to be a lot of fun. And if that “Confessions” movie happens to be a Lifetime movie, than those chances increase to 99%.

Add to that, these aren’t just the confessions of a go-go dancer. No, they are the confessions of a go-go girl. In other words, the whole go-go thing isn’t just a job in this movie. It’s a lifestyle.

What’s It About?

It’s yet another Canadian film that’s found a home on the Lifetime Movie Network. In this one, Jane McCoy (played by Chelsea Hobbs) is a sweet and innocent aspiring actress who, in order to make some extra money, secretly takes a job as a “go-go dancer” at a sleazy bar. Under the influence of an older, cocaine-addicted dancer (played by Sarah Carter), Janet quickly starts a downward spiral of drugs, decadence, and alienation. As her new identity as a go-go girl starts to dominate her life, Jane soon finds herself growing distant from her wealthy family, her boring boyfriend, and her stridently scary drama teacher.

What Worked?

Oh my God, this is like the ultimate Lifetime movie. Over-the-top, melodramatic, awkwardly moralistic, and amazingly silly, Confessions of a Go-Go Girl is a camp masterpiece that simply has to be seen to be believed.

Nothing happens in this movie that you couldn’t predict within the first few minutes. The film’s genius is not that it does anything unexpected. Instead, it’s that it takes the expected to such an extreme. Listen, we all know, from the minute that Jane first dances, that she’s going to eventually end up becoming jaded and cynical. What we could never guess is that it’s pretty much going to happen right after the first dance. It’s kinda like one of those old anti-drug films where all it took was one puff off of a “marijuana cigarette.” One puff and you’re a giggling psycho. One dance and suddenly, your soul fades away. This is the type of film where we know that Jane has become a bad girl because she starts to part her hair down the middle and grow out her bangs.

Plus, as I’ve mentioned so many times before, I love to dance, I love to watch others dance, and if nothing else, this movie had a lot of dancing. Watching this movie, I was surprised to discover that sordid, Canadian go-go clubs apparently are capable of providing Broadway-style dance shows. I mean, I’m not big into strip clubs but, from my experience, most of them just seem to involve a runway, a pole, and a lot of plastic. I mean, it’s fun to grab onto that pole and spin around and go, “Wheeee!” but it’s not exactly exciting to watch (or, at least, it’s not for me). But in Canadian go-go clubs, the dance routines have elaborate costumes, ironic themes, and really impressive lighting. After watching this film, I realized that I really want to move up to Canada and become a go-go dancer. Seriously.

Eventually, Jane is approached by a rival go-go club promoter who tells her that he’s seen her perform and, “I remember you dancing in white panties.” This line highlights the fact that this film is obsessed with underwear. And that’s okay because, honestly, who isn’t? Watching this film reminded me of an ongoing debate that I have going with Erin concerning whether or not fancy, pretty, colorful lingerie more sexy than boring, blah, cotton, white underwear. This movie seemed, ultimately, to side with my sister in favor of the boring undies. Obviously, I disagree but the film still gave me a lot to think about. I don’t know, maybe I should start a poll or something. Do any of our male readers have an opinion on the underwear question? Please, use the comments section to let your voice be heard.

What Did Not Work?

When taken on its own terms, the entire film worked. If I’m secretly a kitty cat in human disguise than the Lifetime Movie Network is my catnip and that’s largely because of silly, over-the-top movies like this.

Actually, I do have one or two complaints. First off, the lead character is named Jane McCoy and oh my God, is that not just one of the most bleh names in history? Seriously, she should have been named Lisa Marie McCoy or something. Secondly, Jane’s boyfriend (played by Travis Milne) was soooo boring. I believe the character was named Eric but they might as have just named him “Plastic Man” because seriously, he had all the personality of one of the mannequins from those Old Navy commercials. To me, Eric’s character was defined by the moment when, as Jane went down on him, he said, “I don’t think I know you anymore.” Double bleh on him.

“OMG! Just like me!” Moments

Oh. My. God. There were so many of these moments that I don’t even know where to begin. I love dancing and I love having fun while I’m dancing so watching this film was kinda like peering in to my life in an alternative, Lifetime-based universe.

Lessons Learned

Apparently, I’m incapable of not relating everything I see to my own life. Also, I have absolutely no impulse control because I just ordered the 11 x 17 Confessions of a Go Go Girl movie poster off of Amazon.

What Lisa Watched Last Night: Love Sick: Secrets of a Sex Addict (dir. by Grant Harvey)

Posted on February 1, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Tuesday night, as the temperature outside plunged down to 13 degrees and the ice continued to build up on the street outside, I watched Love Sick: Secrets of a Sex Addict on the Lifetime Movie Network.

Why Was I Watching It?

Uhmmm…hello? Check out the title.

What Was It About?

This is one of those movies that starts with “Based on a True Story” and then continues on with “Some names and details have been changed.” So, in other words, this is all true except for the parts that are false. (Actually, this film is based on a memoir by Sue Silverman.)

Sally Pressman stars as Sue Silverman. Sue is a writer. While she battles writer’s block, her husband spends his time going to work and then coming home and whining about it. Apparently, every day, he comes home, refuses to have sex, and says something like, “You could get a job…” Or, hey, buddy — here’s what you could do: adjust your bra and stop crying like a little bitch. Seriously.

(Frequently asked question: When is the right time to call a man bitch? Any time he starts acting like one.)

Anyway, Sue responds to this by going out and sleeping with every man in Canada with the exception of her husband and who can blame her when you consider that her husband is a little bitch.

Soon, Sue is undressing whenever she find herself alone with a man — any man. Her obsession with sex soon brings an end to her marriage and eventually Sue is forced to go through one of those pain-in-the-ass interventions where everyone sits around and goes, “You’re addiction has harmed me in the following ways: 1) you borrowed money to spend on lingerie and you have yet to pay me back, 2) you missed my birthday party, 3) you fucked my husband…”

So, poor Sue ends up at the rehab place where the whole thing is like tough love and all “You will obey these rules or we’ll kick you out. So there!” Among the many rules: “No masturbation, no lingerie, no smoking, no avoiding eating, no throwing up…” Uhm, fascist much?

(And also, what type of man leaves his wife because she wants to have sex? Seriously, what a toadsucker.)

What Worked?

Oh, it all worked. This was pure Lifetime Movie goodness in that it took a whole lot of serious issues and then presented them in such a way that made it impossible to take any of it seriously. Ominous music, over-the-top dramatic line readings, and finally, a therapist who says exactly the right thing and magically makes all of the problems disappear.

Plus, I love that title.

What Didn’t Work?

Technically, the acting was pretty bad (with the exception of Sally Pressman) and the film dragged once Sue got into therapy. But who cares? Just check out that title.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Towards the end of the film, Sue says that knowing she was desired was occasionally the only thing that she could cling to, the only thing that allowed her to maintain her fragile sense of identity. I’ve been there. Who hasn’t?

I also share Sue’s obsession with black underwear. Seriously, you can’t look bad in black lingerie.

Lessons Learned

Some men, apparently, actually do say “Not tonight, I’m tired” when it comes to sex. I’m still having a hard time buying that one.

Rehab is not fun.