The Eric Roberts Horror Collection: Insane Like Me? (dir by Chip Joslin)


After his girlfriend and his brother are killed while throwing a party at the local abandoned insane asylum (every town has one!), veteran Jake Morgan (Britt Bankhead) finds himself tossed into a not-abandoned insane asylum.  Jake swears that everyone was killed by vampires.  The local sheriff (Eric Roberts) swears that Jake is the murderer.  The sheriff also happens to be the father of Jake’s dead girlfriend.

Jump forward a few years and Jake has been released from the asylum.  He returns to the town to take out the vampires.  The sheriff still claims that Jake is crazy but it soon becomes apparent that the sheriff has got a secret or two of his own….

This 2024 movie got off to a good start and it had an effective ending.  I appreciated that Eric Roberts got to do a bit more than he usually does in these type of films.  Sheriff Eric Roberts gets to beat someone up and I nearly cheered, even when I wasn’t supposed to.  Considering the amount of movies that I’ve watched that have just featured Roberts delivering his lines from behind a desk, it was nice to see him moving around and actually playing a character.

Unfortunately, the middle part of the film drags.  When is say drag, I don’t just mean that it moved slowly.  I mean that it was so incredibly boring that I found myself checking the time every few minutes.  We meet a group of teenage victims and let’s just say that some of them were better actors than others.  This is a movie that should have been nonstop vampire mayhem.  Instead, it got bogged down with not-very interesting characters delivering flat dialogue.

One final note: the movie features a doctor named Stoker.  It’s amazing to think that the entire town is full of vampires and yet no one ever points out that oddness of the doctor being named Stoker.  I guess today’s vampires just aren’t that well-read.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Paul’s Case (1980)
  2. Star 80 (1983)
  3. Runaway Train (1985)
  4. To Heal A Nation (1988)
  5. Best of the Best (1989)
  6. Blood Red (1989)
  7. The Ambulance (1990)
  8. The Lost Capone (1990)
  9. Best of the Best II (1993)
  10. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  11. Voyage (1993)
  12. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  13. Sensation (1994)
  14. Dark Angel (1996)
  15. Doctor Who (1996)
  16. Most Wanted (1997)
  17. Mercy Streets (2000)
  18. Raptor (2001)
  19. Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 (2001)
  20. Strange Frequency (2001)
  21. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  22. Border Blues (2004)
  23. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  24. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  25. We Belong Together (2005)
  26. Hey You (2006)
  27. Depth Charge (2008)
  28. Amazing Racer (2009)
  29. The Chaos Experiment (2009)
  30. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  31. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  32. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  33. The Expendables (2010) 
  34. Sharktopus (2010)
  35. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  36. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  37. Deadline (2012)
  38. The Mark (2012)
  39. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  40. Assault on Wall Street (2013)
  41. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  42. Lovelace (2013)
  43. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  44. The Perfect Summer (2013)
  45. Self-Storage (2013)
  46. Sink Hole (2013)
  47. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  48. This Is Our Time (2013)
  49. Bigfoot vs DB Cooper (2014)
  50. Doc Holliday’s Revenge (2014)
  51. Inherent Vice (2014)
  52. Road to the Open (2014)
  53. Rumors of War (2014)
  54. Amityville Death House (2015)
  55. Deadly Sanctuary (2015)
  56. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  57. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  58. Sorority Slaughterhouse (2015)
  59. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  60. Enemy Within (2016)
  61. Hunting Season (2016)
  62. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  63. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  64. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  65. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  66. Dark Image (2017)
  67. The Demonic Dead (2017)
  68. Black Wake (2018)
  69. Frank and Ava (2018)
  70. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  71. Clinton Island (2019)
  72. Monster Island (2019)
  73. The Reliant (2019)
  74. The Savant (2019)
  75. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  76. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  77. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  78. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  79. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  80. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  81. Top Gunner (2020)
  82. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  83. The Elevator (2021)
  84. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  85. Killer Advice (2021)
  86. Megaboa (2021)
  87. Night Night (2021)
  88. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  89. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  90. Red Prophecies (2021)
  91. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  92. Bleach (2022)
  93. Dawn (2022)
  94. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  95. 69 Parts (2022)
  96. The Rideshare Killer (2022)
  97. D.C. Down (2023)
  98. Aftermath (2024)
  99. Bad Substitute (2024)
  100. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  101. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  102. Broken Church (2025)
  103. When It Rains In L.A. (2025

Cleaning Out The DVR: Cheer For Your Life (dir by Jared Cohn)


Bring it on deadly!

Cindy Braverman (Grace Patterson) and Allison Regan (Marisa Lynae Hampton) are both hoping to become the newest members of the Queen Bees, the senior cheerleaders!  However, the head cheerleader — Fiona Sparks (Anna Belle Bayley) — isn’t going to make things easy for them or anyone else who wants to become a Queen Bee.  Before you can be a Queen Bee, you have to go through two weeks of ritual humiliation and soul-destroying abuse.

That’s right …. it’s initiation time!

However, this isn’t a typical initiation.  Sure, there’s the usual stuff, like getting soaked with a hose and being ordered to only say “buzz” for an entire day.  But then there’s the secret parties, the forced marches, the mysterious car theft, the disappearances, and the murders.  Oh yes, there are a few deaths.  Actually, everyone insists that the deaths are just an unfortunate coincidence but Allison isn’t so sure and eventually, Cindy comes to share her suspicions.  Can they solve the mystery of the dying and vanishing cheerleaders or is the high school going to have to suffer through a year without their bees!?

Buzz  buzz!

I always enjoy a good Lifetime cheerleader movie, largely because they give me a chance to play “What if?”  My sister was cheerleader and I spent my first two years of high school being continually told that I should be a cheerleader.  I have to admit that I was perhaps a bit more tempted than I was willing to acknowledge at the time.  However, in the end, I always decided that I wanted to establish my own identity and do my own thing and that’s what I did.  I enjoyed high school and I have to admit that I’ve never been able to relate to people who claim that it was the worst time of their lives.  Still, I do occasionally wonder what my high school experience would have been like if I had followed in my sister’s footsteps and cheered.  Would I have still discovered my love of history, art, and writing?  Would I have been lucky enough to still have the same large group of very different and very interesting friends?  Or would I have spent all of my time just hanging out with the other cheerleaders?  (For the record, my sister was a kickass cheerleader and is now a kickass photographer so it probably wasn’t quite the binary choice that it’s often presented as being.)  I imagine I would have a good time regardless of which choice I made because I always manage to have a good time.  But, as a cheerleader, I would have missed out on some fun experiences just as I probably missed out on a few by not being a cheerleader.

Or, at least, that’s what I believed before I watched my first Lifetime cheerleader film!  Seriously, on Lifetime, cheerleading is dangerous!  You’re always either getting stalked or the other cheerleaders are plotting to kill you or you end up with a teacher trying to ruin your life for no good reason.  That’s the fun of a good Lifetime movie, of course.  Everything and everyone always ends up going to extremes.  Lifetime films deal with real-life situations but they do so in such an over-the-top way that you can watch them and think, “I may be struggling right now but at least my situation isn’t as bad as all that!”

Cheer For Your Life is a fun Lifetime cheerleader film, one that assures us that peer pressure is bad but being a cheerleader is really cool.  While it hits all of the expected Lifetime cheerleader film plot points, it also features two likable performances from Grace Patterson and especially Marisa Lynae Hampton.  (If you don’t cheer a little when Hampton continues her investigate despite being on crutches, I have to wonder what you would cheer for.)  Anna Belle Bayley is wonderfully villainous as the head cheerleader.  It’s an entertaining film, one that encourages you to be careful what you wish for while also assuring you that you should probably go ahead and wish for it anyways.

Lifetime Film Review: Just What The Doctor Ordered (dir by Jeff Hare)


Dr. Albert Beck is back!

Albert Beck is the character at the center of one of Lifetime’s most successful franchises, the Stalked By My Doctor films. First introduced six years ago in the original Stalked By My Doctor, Albert Beck is a brilliant surgeon who also has a bad habit of growing obsessed with his patients, especially if they’re teenage girls. Dr. Beck tends to fantasize that his patients are in love with him and then he goes out of his way to “protect” them. This usually means kidnapping them and attempting to murder everyone else in their life. Since his first appearance, Dr. Beck has gone from being a world-renowned surgeon to being a fugitive from justice to being a patient in a mental hospital. Just as surely as you can depend on Dr. Beck to fall in love with any teenage girl with a heart murmur, you can also depend on him to always manage to escape confinement. Along the way, Dr. Beck has also developed an alter ego — Laid Back Beck. Laid Back Beck wears Hawaiian shirts, sips tropical drinks, and is always taunting Dr. Beck about his lack of success when it comes to finding love. Of course, only Dr. Beck can see and hear Laid Back Beck.

Laid Back Beck

Of course, what truly sets Dr. Beck apart from other Lifetime obsessive stalker-types is that he’s played by Eric Roberts. In fact, Eric Roberts has become, late in his career, quite a popular figure with Lifetime movie fans, largely due to his performances as Dr. Beck and his appearances in a number of other Lifetime films. (Most of those non-Dr. Beck appearances have only been cameos but still, any film with Eric Roberts is going to be better than a film without Eric Roberts.) From the very first film, Roberts has been wonderfully over-the-top as Dr. Beck, playing him with just the right combination of mad sincerity, overwhelming self-pity, and self-awareness. Everything about Roberts’s performance, from his nervous smile to the rushed way he starts to speak whenever he meets someone who he feels need to be protected, comes together to make Dr. Beck into one of the most memorable and dangerous villains to ever appear in a Lifetime film. And yet, because he is so painfully needy and so convinced that he’s doing the right thing, it’s hard not to occasionally feel a little bit of sympathy for Dr. Beck. He may be a murderer but, in his mind, he’s only trying to fix a broken heart. Several broken hearts, as a matter of fact!

Just What The Doctor Ordered, the fifth film to feature the good doctor, finds Beck escaping from yet another mental institution. This time, he hides out in what he thinks is an abandoned house. However, it turns out that the house has recently been bought by Maggie Newell (Carrie Schroeder) and soon, Dr. Beck has fallen in love with Maggie’s teenage daughter, Alexa (Grace Patterson). And wouldn’t you know it — Alexa needs a heart transplant! Soon, Dr. Beck is disguising himself as a nurse and taking a very active interest in tracking down the perfect heart donor for Alexa.

And, you know what? It’s fun. Yes, you’ll be able to guess what’s going to happen but, as I’ve said before, that’s actually one of the fun things about watching a Lifetime film. As with the previous Stalked By My Doctor films, the main attraction here is Eric Roberts, chewing up the scenery and having violent fantasies about killing Alexa’s boyfriend while Alexa sweetly smiles and thanks him for protecting her. His search for a proper heart donor takes him to some unexpected places, particularly when he meets a police detective who appears to use her handcuffs for more than just arresting perps. Dr. Beck has been through a lot and he spends a good deal of Just What The Doctor Ordered looking a bit worse for wear. (Setting fire to a mental institution and then hiding in an attic for several weeks will do that to you.) But still, Eric Roberts’s unique charisma shines through. By the end of the film, you’ll eagerly be waiting to see what future adventures Albert Beck and his laid back alter ego have ahead of them!

Lifetime Film Review: The Pom Pom Murders (dir by Tom Shell)


Cheerleading is dangerous!

Of course, if you’ve been watching Lifetime for the past month or so, you know that.  Lifetime has spent most of October showing movies about cheerleaders who are either killing or being killed.  Now that Lifetime has decided to show Christmas movies for the rest of the year, the deadly cheerleader movies have moved to the Lifetime Movie Network.

For instance, last night saw the premiere of The Pom Pom Murders!  Now, I was co-hosting the #ScarySocial live tweet last night so I missed The Pom Pom Murders but, fortunately, my sister Erin had the foresight to set the DVR for me.  Thank you, Erin!

As I always do whenever there’s a killer cheerleader movie on the DVR, I tried to get Erin to watch it with me.  Erin was a cheerleader in high school and I always feel it’s good to get an expert opinion on whether or not these films accurately reflect the cheerleading experience.  (I always refused to try out for cheerleader in high school, mostly because two of my sisters had done it and I wanted to establish my own identity.  Of course, since I was a teenager at the time, establishing my own identity meant writing a lot of emo poetry.)  Erin, however, declined because no one was murdered while she was a cheerleader.  I guess she has a point.

Anyway, The Pom Pom Murders is about Audrey (Anna Marie Dobbins), who tries out for a spot on the cheerleading squad of the Los Angeles Renegades basketball team!  She makes the squad and she even gets a charming new boyfriend when star player Walter Wilson gives her a ride home!  Everything seems to be perfect, until the murder of Bailey (Grace Patterson), a member of the squad and Walter’s ex-girlfriend!  Bailey is strangled while her dog watches, just in case you needed any more evidence that this killer is ruthless.

With Walter as the number one suspect and an apparent killer stalking the Renegade Girls, can Audrey cheer the team to victory without losing her life?  One would normally think so, seeing as how this is a Lifetime film and most Lifetime films do, eventually, have a happy ending.  However, this film also features a rather snarky voice-over from Audrey, one which suggests that this story might not have a happy ending.  Of course, Audrey also suggests that she might just be saying that to make you watch so one huge reason to watch the film is to see if Audrey’s an honest narrator or not!

The best Lifetime films always mix the melodrama with a healthy dose of self-awareness.  These are films that go cheerfully over the top and make no apologies for doing so and that’s certainly the case with The Pom Pom Murders, which features an enjoyably eccentric group of suspects.  Is the murderer the pervy janitor or the intense coach or the strange owners?  Is Audrey going to be able to solve the case or is she going to end up the latest victim?  Is she going to become the newest star cheerleader or is she going to finally listen to her mother and go to law school?

You’ll have to watch the film to find out!  This is a fun movie.  If you’re into Lifetime movies, you’ll be doing some cheering yourself.