Gerry Quigley | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week’s episode is a creepy one! Read on!

Episode 1.8 “Shadow Boxer”

(Dir by Timothy Bond, originally aired on November 21st, 1987)

Tommy Dunn (David Ferry) is a punch drunk boxer who barely makes a living working at a local gym. No one takes him seriously. The other boxers taunt him. The owner of the gym treats him like a slave and continually tells him that he’ll never be a champion. However, Tommy has a secret weapon. He’s found an old pair of boxer gloves. The gloves used to belong to a savage boxer known as the Killer. When Tommy puts the gloves on and touches his shadow, his shadow comes to life. While Tommy is throwing punches either in the gym or in the ring, his shadow is beating someone else to death. As long as his shadow is beating someone up, Tommy is unstoppable.

After Tommy’s shadow murders the owner of the gym, Micki, Ryan, and Jack show up to investigate. (The gloves were, of course, bought from Curious Goods.) Micki brings her camera and takes pictures of all of the boxers so that Ryan and Jack can later look to see if any of them are wearing the “Killer” gloves. It doesn’t take them long to discover that Tommy is currently in possession of the gloves. When Micki flirts with Tommy at a diner, Ryan and Jack break into his apartment and search for the gloves. This leads to three things happening. First off, Micki has a really awkward date with a murderer. Secondly, Ryan and Jack fail to find the gloves before Tommy returns. Third, Tommy now knows that Ryan, Jack, and Micki are onto him.

During his next fight, Tommy sends his shadow after Jack but fortunately, Micki is waiting with a flashlight. Shining light on the shadow causes it to disappear and it also causes Tommy to get beaten unconscious in the boxing ring. With Tommy temporarily out of commission, Ryan steals the gloves. Tommy can no longer use the gloves to kill but, as Micki bitterly points out, Tommy will also never be prosecuted for all the people that he killed.

Of course, Tommy then shows up at Curious Goods and tries to force Micki to tell him where the gloves are. Ryan puts on the gloves and proceeds to beat up Jack, which leads to Ryan’s shadow beating Tommy to death. Jack isn’t particularly happy about getting beaten up but it does save Micki’s life.

This was a well-done episode. There weren’t many twists to the story but the sight of Tommy’s shadow following people around was undeniably creepy. The shadow was probably the scariest of all of the threats that have appeared on the show so far. Even when the shadow was saving Micki’s life by beating Tommy to death, it was still scary to watch. When Ryan hit Jack, it was left ambiguous as to whether or not he was trying to save Micki’s life or if the evil of the cursed gloves had briefly possessed him.

The only unfortunate thing about this episode is that it led to me going down the Wikipedia rabbit hole of researching boxers who have died in the ring. Boxing is a brutal sport, whether you’re fighting with cursed gloves or not!

The 1995 satire, To Die For, is a very clever film about some seriously stupid people.

Of course, you could debate whether or not Suzanne Stone-Maretto (Nicole Kidman) is actually dumb or not. Suzanne may not know much about anything that isn’t on TV but she does have a natural understanding for what makes a good story. She knows exactly the type of story that the public wants to hear and she does a good job of faking all of the right emotions. As she proves throughout the course of the film, she’s also very good at convincing people to do stuff. Whether it’s convincing the local television station to put her on the air as a weather person or convincing two teenagers to murder her husband, Suzanne always seems to get what she wants.

Of course, what Suzanne really wants is to be a celebrity. She wants to be a star. As she explains it, that’s the greatest thing about America. Anyone can become a star if they just try hard enough and find the right angle. If the film were made today, Suzanne would be a social media junkie. Since the movie was made in 1995, she has to settle for talk shows and murder.

So maybe Suzanne isn’t that dumb but her husband, Larry (Matt Dillon) …. well, if we’re going to be honest, Larry’s more naive than dumb. He’s the favored son of a big Italian family and it’s obviously never occurred to him that a woman would possibly want something more than just a husband and a lot of children. He thinks it’s cute that Suzanne’s on TV but he’s also fully convinced that she’s going to eventually settle down and focus on starting a family. It never occurs to him that his wife would be willing to sacrifice him on her way to stardom.

Of course, if you really want to talk about dumb, just check out the teenagers who Suzanne recruits to kill her husband. They’ve been appearing in a documentary that Suzanne’s been shooting. The documentary’s title is “Teens Speak Out,” which is something of an ironic title since none of the teens that Suzanne interviews really has anything to say. Lydia (Allison Folland) is just happy that the “glamorous” Suzanne is pretending to care about her. Russell (Casey Affleck) is the type of grinning perv who drops a pen just so he can try to get a peek up Suzanne’s skirt while he’s on the floor retrieving it. And then there’s Jimmy (Joaquin Phoenix), with his flat voice and his blank stare. Jimmy is briefly Suzanne’s lover before he ends up in prison for murdering her husband. It doesn’t take much to convince Jimmy to commit murder, either. Apparently, all you have to do is dance to Lynard Skynard while it’s raining outside. Media interviews with Lydia, Jimmy, Suzanne, and Larry’s sister (Ileana Douglas) are sprinkled throughout the film and Jimmy continues to insist that he will always love Suzanne.

As for Suzanne, she’s got stardom to worry about….

Though the subject matter is a bit familiar and the film, made before the age of Twitter and Instagram, is a bit dated, To Die For‘s satire still carries a powerful bite. One need only watch A&E or the Crime and Investigation network to see that Suzanne was absolutely correct when she decided that killing her husband would make her a star. If To Die For were made today, you could easily imagine Suzanne leveraging her infamy into an appearance on Dancing With The Stars and maybe Celebrity Big Brother. At the very least. she could get her own house hunting show on HGTV. Delivering her often sociopathic dialogue with a perky smile and a positive attitude, Nicole Kidman is absolutely chilling as Suzanne. Meanwhile, Joaquin Phoenix’s blank stare will continue to haunt you long after the film ends.

And speaking of endings, To Die For has a great one. You’ll never hear Season of the Witch the same way again!