Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.8 “Hard Knocks”

Posted on December 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Switek takes center stage!

Episode 5.8 “Hard Knocks”

(Dir by Vern Gillum, originally aired on January 20th, 1989)

Stan Switek has a gambling problem!

That’s right. The lovable Stan Switek, played by Michael Talbott, finally gets to be the center of another episode and it’s a pretty dark one. It’s not as dark as the one where Stan discovered that his partner and best friend had been given a heroin overdose but it’s still pretty depressing.

There are a lot of things that lead to Switek becoming both an alcoholic and a gambling addict. The death of Larry Zito still haunts him. The job haunts him. The fact that he’s continually stuck in “the black box,” and doing surveillance on terrible people haunts him. At the start of the episode, he learns that he’s been turned down for a promotion and it will be another two years before he can apply again. Castillo says it’s about money. The Miami PD doesn’t have the money to pay Switek a sergeant’s salary. “You’re the best at what you do,” Castillo tells Switek. That’s of little help.

Switek is best friends with Mac Mulhern (Jordan Clarke), the father of a hotshot college quarterback named Kevin Mulhern (Richard Joseph Paul). When Switek’s former bookie (Ismael “East” Carlo) is murdered by Goodman (Richard Jenkins, who apparently always looked like he was in his late 50s, even 40 years ago), Goodman orders Switek to tell Kevin to throw his upcoming game. In order to make sure that it happens, Goodman kidnaps Mac and threatens to kill him.

Switek snaps. Switek sets out to get his own justice against Goodman and to rescue Mac. Fortunately, Crockett and Tubbs realize what’s happening and they show up in time to help Switek out. Once Goodman is dead and Mac is free, Kevin is able to win the game.

Later, Crockett confronts Switek. He says that Switek’s name is all over Goodman’s books. What’s Crockett going to do? Given that Crockett spent months as Miami’s biggest drug lord, I’m not sure that Crockett is in a position to judge anyone. Fortunately, Crockett seems to understand that as well. Crockett hands the evidence over to Switek and promises to keep quiet. Switek — who has spent almost the entire series as comedic relief — breaks down and starts to cry.

That’s one dark episode! It’s also a very well-done episode. Michael Talbott gave an excellent performance as Switek, revealing the character’s dark side while still remaining true to who Switek has been since the series began. Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas didn’t do much in this episode but the final scene between Switek and Crockett was wonderfully acted by both Talbott and Johnson.

This was a good episode but I’m worried about Switek now. I hope everything works out because there’s only a few episodes left!

Speaking of which, Retro Television Review will be going on break for the holidays at the end of this week. Miami Vice will return on January 5th!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.16 “Honor Among Thieves”

Posted on August 18, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a man kills for his dolls.

Episode 4.16 “Honor Among Thieves?”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on March 4th, 1988)

A serial killer named Paul Delgado (John Bowman and no, we’re not related as far as I know) is killing girls in Miami. He believes that he’s being ordered to kill by his collection of dolls and, when he’s speaking as a doll, he uses a high-pitched voice. He picks women up at carnivals or on the beach and he kills them by injecting them with 100% pure cocaine. He poses their bodies with a doll beside them.

Because of the cocaine connection, homicide detective Jarrell (Dylan Baker) approaches Castillo. Castillo explains that his best men are working deep undercover, trying to take down a drug lord named Palmo (Ramy Zada). That’s right, this is yet another episode where Crockett pretends to be Burnett and Tubbs pretends to be Cooper and somehow, they’re able to get away with it despite the fact that their cover has been blown in almost every previous episode.

Delgado works for Palmo and things get even more complicated when it turns out that Delgado is Crockett and Tubbs’s connection inside Palmo’s operation. When Palmo discovers that Delgado is the killer, he puts Delgado on trial. The jury is made up of other drug dealers. Since Crockett is pretending to be a lawyer, he’s assigned to serve as Delgado’s defense counsel. Palmo tells Crockett that, unless he’s acquitted by the drug dealer jury, he’ll reveal that Crockett and Tubbs are working undercover….

This was a weird episode, It didn’t really work because Delgado was a bit too cartoonish to be taken seriously. Perhaps if the show had just made him a serial killer who killed women with cocaine, it would have worked. But the show had to go the extra step and have him talk to his dolls in a high-pitched voice. As well, this was yet another episode where we were forced to wonder if people in the Miami underworld just don’t communicate with each other. After all the drug lords that have been busted by Crockett and Tubbs, you would think that word would eventually get out about “Burnett” and “Cooper.” I mean, their cover gets blown in nearly every episode. Frank Zappa put a bounty on Crockett’s head in season 2! And yet somehow, Crockett and Tubbs are still able to walk into a drug lord’s mansion, introduce themselves as Burnett and Cooper, and not automatically get shot.

There were some definite problems with this episode but it was weird enough to at least hold one’s attention. As opposed to the episodes with the aliens and the bull semen, this episode didn’t seem like it was trying too hard to be weird. Instead, it just was genuinely weird. It was watchable and, as far as the fourth season of Miami Vice is concerned, that definitely counts as an accomplishment.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.14 “Cuba Libre”

Posted on January 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, everyone’s moved on from Zito’s death.

Episode 3.14 “Cuba Libre”

(Dir by Virgil W. Vogel, originally aired on January 23rd, 1987)

A routine drug bust at the mansion of Armando Rojas (Willie Colon) goes wrong when a group of masked gunmen show up and demand that Rojas give him all their money. The gunmen kill a young vice cop and get into a gunfight with Crockett and Tubbs (who are, as usual, pretending to be Burnett and Cooper). The gunmen make their escape but Crockett suspects that this was more than just a fight amongst drug dealers. As he tells Castillo, the gunmen acted more like “Quantico than Colombia.” Since the dead vice cop was a protegee of Crockett’s, Crockett is taking this one personally!

Unfortunately, for Crockett, the FBI doesn’t want him to take this one personally. The gunmen work for Paco Zamora (Joe Urla), a Cuban refugee who has been working for the government ever since the Bay of Pigs. Zamora is looking to raise money so that he can overthrow Fidel Castro. (Boo! Castro! Boo!) Crockett and Tubbs go — *sigh* — undercover as Burnett and Cooper to discover Zamora’s plans. “Burnett” says that he wants to rip off “Cooper.” I know I kind of harp on this but I always have to roll my eyes whenever Crockett and Tubbs do the whole Burnett and Cooper thing. After three seasons of them arresting and killing everyone who falls for the Burnett/Cooper con, you would think the Miami underworld would have caught on by now! I mean, wasn’t Frank Zappa going to tell everyone in Miami not to trust Sonny Burnett? Do people in Miami just not share information with each other? Are they just that easily fooled? No wonder Fidel Castro hung onto power for all those years. (Boo! Castro! Boo!)

Anyway, it turns out that there is a member of Castro’s (boo!) government visiting Miami and Zamora and his army are planning on assassinating him. Crockett and Tubbs and the Vice Squad have to stop an international incident from happening in Florida. Or — considering all of the people that Castro had assassinated over the years (Boo!) — maybe they could have just stayed out of it and let Zamora do his thing. Seriously, in what world is a Southern good old boy and former CIA-connected football player like Sonny Crockett going to be so concerned with protecting the lives of communist diplomats? Is that was Larry Zito died for!? Regardless and as usuasl, everything ends with a shoot-out in which Sonny makes his final argument with a bullet. Pauline Kael once wrote that Oliver Stone had left-wing politics but a right-wing sensibility and that’s certainly true of Miami Vice as well.

This episode felt pretty routine. Especially after all the emotional drama of the previous two episodes, Cuba Libre felt like an example of the show on autopilot.