Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.25 “Horshack and the Madame X!”

Posted on September 7, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

I guess it’s time to get back to reviewing those Sweathog antics!

Episode 3.25 “Horshack and the Madame X!”

(Dir by Al Schwartz, originally aired on February 23rd, 1978)

So, I’m finally ready to start reviewing Welcome Back, Kotter again and …. OH NO! It’s a Horshack episode!

Listen, don’t get me wrong. Ron Pallilo, despite what some critics have said, did not give a bad performance as Arnold Horshack. Consistently, he gave the best performance that he could with the material that he was given. It’s just that, as the series progressed, the character was written in a way that was more and more cartoonish. By the time the third season rolled around, a little bit of Horshack went a long way. If the first season present Horshack as being a relatively believable class clown, the third season Horshack was the type of weirdo who made you want to take out a restraining order.

This episode finds Horshack depressed because he can’t get a girlfriend. The Sweathogs try to help but the truth of the matter is that no one wants to date Horshack. (Not be mean but would you want to date Horshack? Especially when Barbarino, Epstein, and Washington are right there?) When Gabe mentions that he’s going to be teaching a night class at NYU, the Sweathogs announce that they’ll go over to his apartment to keep an eye on Julie. Gabe agrees to this, mostly because he secretly hates Julie.

At the apartment, Julie tries to give Horshack some encouragement and makes the mistake of allowing him to show her how he asks a girl out on a date. Horshack falls in love with Julie and he decides that she’s in love with him. As I said, restraining order time!

The next night, Julie invites Horshack to dinner so she can let him down easy. Unfortunately, Horshack shows up early and Julie has to try to talk to him with wet hair and wearing a bathrobe. Then the other Sweathogs shows up and assume that Julie is leading Horshack on. This episode did the impossible, in that it made me feel sorry for Julie. Usually, Julie comes across like someone who is just permanently in a bad mood but this episode really drove home just how unfair it is that she has to continually play hostess to her husband’s students. To be honest, Julie has the patience of a saint in this episode.

Travolta made me laugh a few times but otherwise, this was one of those episodes where I just wanted the Sweathogs to leave the apartment and leave the Kotter family alone. Probably the most interesting thing about this episode is that Gabe was barely in it. Reportedly, Gabe Kaplan and Marcia Strassman did not get along and it’s easy to sense that during the third season.

As for this episode’s opening joke, Gabe told Julie about his uncle who became a mailman and then bit himself because he thought he was a dog. Gabe’s family is just wacky!

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.24 “The Return of Hotsy Totsy”

Posted on July 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s Welcome Back, Rosalie!

Episode 3.24 “The Return of Hotsy Totsy”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on May 11th, 1978)

Using fakes IDs provided by Epstein, the Sweathogs go to a strip club and are shocked to see their former classmate from season one, Rosalie “Hotsy” Totsy (Debralee Scott), dancing on stage. Rosalie is not particularly happy to see them either, especially when Horshack keeps calling out her name and saying “hi” while she’s performing.

At first, almost all of the Sweathogs are very judgmental of their former classmate, never mind the fact that 1) she has a baby to support and 2) they were the ones who went through all the trouble of getting fake IDs so that they could illegally go to the club to the first place. Only Horshack refrains from judging Rosalie. Instead, he gets an extra job so that can give the money to Rosalie and her baby. Awwwwwww!

Fear not. Gabe eventually finds out that his former student has fallen on hard times and with the help of Woodman, he finds employment for her as a receptionist. That made me smile a little bit. Being a receptionist is harder than a lot of people realize but I have faith in Rosalie.

This episode deserves some credit for explaining what happened to Rosalie, who was a fairly prominent character during the first half of season one before disappearing without an explanation. I liked the fact that the episode was clearly on Rosalie’s side and not afraid to call out the Sweathogs on their misogyny. Debralee Scott gave a heartfelt performance as Rosalie, reminding us of how edgy Gabe’s students used to be.

At the same time, it’s hard not to feel this episode would have worked better during the second season, before the Sweathogs became caricatures and, even more importantly, when Robert Hegyes, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, and Ron Pallilo could still convincingly pass for being young enough to need fake IDs to get into a bar. (Travolta, who was the youngest of them all, was the only one who still made for a convincing teenager during season 3.) Watching this episode, it was hard not to regret how the show transformed Horshack from just being slightly eccentric to being someone who appeared to come from a totally separate planet. Ron Palllilo, it must be said, still managed to give a good performance in this episode but the character was still so broadly drawn that it was hard to believe that the Sweathogs would have invited him to the strip club to begin with. Still, his interactions with Rosalie were undeniably sweet. Horshack may be annoying but he’s a good person.

Interestingly, this episode was written by Gabe Kaplan. Perhaps that explains why Marcia Strassman’s Julie only gets a few seconds of screentime and only one line of dialogue.

Mini Retro Television Review: Welcome Back Kotter 3.23 “Goodbye, Mr. Kripps”

Posted on May 25, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve got a sprained wrist so typing is kind of painful. For that reason, today’s review is going to be a quick one. You might even call it a …. MINI REVIEW!

Episode 3.23 “Goodbye, Mr. Kripps”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on February 16th, 1978)

Shop teacher Mr. Kripps (Jack Fletcher) is famous for being cranky and for not liking the Sweathogs. Even when Gabe was a student at the school, Mr. Kripps was a teacher known for his bad temper. When Mr. Kripps drops dead of a heart attack, only Barbarino is shocked. Barbarino also feels guilty because Mr. Kripps was yelling at him when he died.

Woodman, Gabe, and the Sweathogs attends the funeral and then all return to Gabe’s apartment. I get that the Sweathogs are in a co-dependent relationship with Gabe but why is Woodman at the apartment? Gabe and the Sweathogs are depressed. Woodman talks about how July is the best month for a funeral. “August is too hot!”

Barbarino turns himself into the police for murder. Awwwww, poor Barbarino! Seriously, this is an unbelievably dumb thing to do but John Travolta is so crestfallen and child-like as Babarino that your heart still breaks for him. No-nonsense Lt. Eddie Lasky (Norman Alden) comes down to the school to investigate Mr. Kripps’s death. Gabe and Lasky help Barbarino to understand that it’s not his fault that Mr. Kripps had anger problems. And again, it’s kind of dumb but Gabe Kaplan and Norman Alden play off of each other really well and Travolta’s puppy-dog earnestness just makes you want to hug him.

Woodman gets upset when he sees that Lasky parked in his spot. Woodman vandalizes Lasky’s car and gets taken to jail. When he returns to the school, Gabe cheers him up with a joke about Uncle Willie, who was sentenced to a 99-year sentence.

This was a good episode. It felt like a throwback to the humane and sweet-natured episodes of the first season. Travolta once again shows why he’s the Sweathog who ended up with the Oscar nominations.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.22 “What Goes Up”

Posted on May 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Freddie gets hooked on pills!

Episode 3.22 “What Goes Up”

(Dir by Jeff Bleckner, originally aired on February 9th, 1978)

At the new, big, how-does-he-afford-that-on-a-teacher’s-salary apartment, Gabe tries to avoid taking out the trash by telling Julie a joke about his Uncle George. Julia tells Gabe to shut up and take out the damn trash.

Meanwhile, at school, Freddie has a problem. After injuring his knee while playing basketball, Freddie is given a prescription for pain killers. But the pain killers leave him feeling groggy so he also starts taking pills to give him energy. The other Sweathogs are concerned. Freddie insists that he’s just taking vitamins. Horshack insists that Freddie would never lie to him. If Freddie says that the pills that he’s buying in the bathroom and carrying around in his shoe are harmless vitamins than Freddie is telling the truth!

Woodman, however, is concerned. He tells Kotter that Freddie entered the cafeteria, took off his shoes, and said, “Ho ho ho, I’m the Jolly Black Giant.” “Is he on the dope!?” Woodman demands to know.

Epstein and Barbarino decide that the best way to handle this problem is to act like they’re on drugs as well so that Freddie can see how dumb he looks. Epstein tries to act spacey. Vinnie walks around hunched over and repeating, “Give me drugs …. give me drugs …. give me drugs….” Freddie doesn’t buy it for a second but then …. what’s going on with Horshack!? Horshack explains that he took some of Freddie’s special vitamins and then he tries to jump out of the classroom window!

(What the Hell was in those pills? I pretty much take the same thing for my ADHD and I have never been tempted to jump out a window.)

That’s all it takes for Freddie to realize that it’s time to stop taking the pills. Gabe encourages him to flush them down the school’s toilet and Freddie agrees to do while the studio audience watches in reverent silence.

Back at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie a joke about his Uncle Luther. Julie does not care.

It’s hard to know where to begin with this episode. On the one hand, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs was often underused by the show so it’s always nice when he gets a chance to show off the fact that he was one of the better actors on the show. That said, the show’s portrayal of drug use was so cartoonish that it ultimately kind of made being a speed freak look kind of fun. If nothing else, this show left me wondering how a bunch of teenagers in the late 70s could be so naive about drugs.

Of course, if Barbarino had been the one who nearly died, I imagine the audience would have been more upset. If Epstein had gotten hooked due to Freddie’s lies, it could have led to some drama. But Horshack? Eh, who cares? When the show first started, Ron Pallilo was often given an opportunity to show that there was some hidden depths underneath Horshack’s eccentricity. But, by the time the third season rolled around, Horshack had become such a cartoonish character that it’s impossible to take anything involving him seriously.

To give credit where credit is due, John Travolta made me laugh with his delivery of “Give me drugs …. give me drugs….” Travolta appeared to be having a lot of fun in this episode, perhaps because he knew he wouldn’t be on the show much longer.

Anyway, for someone who couldn’t go an hour without popping a pill, Freddie got over his addiction pretty quickly. That’s good because next week, Vinnie is going to have to deal with the death of one of his teachers and Freddie’s going to have to be there for him. As for Horshack, this episode ends with him being taken to the school nurse but I assume he’ll eventually make a full recovery as as well. It takes more than pills to keep the Sweathogs down.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.21 “There’s No Business: Part 2”

Posted on May 11, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Gabe is finally happy so, of course, Julie is pissed off about it.

Episode 3.21 “There’s No Business: Part 2”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on February 2nd, 1978)

This week, Gabe’s comedy career continues!

The Sweathogs are hurt when Gabe doesn’t even come by the school to say goodbye to them before their substitute teacher is brought in. Julie is upset that Gabe agrees to do a muti-week tour without even asking her about it first. (Then again, one gets the feeling that if Gabe had turned down the tour, Julie would find an excuse to get mad about that as well. At this point, I’m just waiting for Julie to run off with Epstein but Marcia Strassman had more chemistry with Robert Hegyes than she ever did with Gabe Kaplan.)

At first, the only person who is happy about any of this is Mr. Woodman. Without Gabe around, the Sweathogs are running wild and Woodman finally has a reason to give everyone detention. “It’s Woodman’s Golden Reign of Terror!” Woodman declares. But then the Sweathogs, due to being sad over being abandoned by Gabe, become listless and Woodman is left with nothing to do.

“We need you back, Kotter!” Woodman tells Gabe just before Gabe goes out on stage to perform.

Gabe agrees. Gabe bombs on stage so badly that his show business career comes to an end. Gabe returns to teaching. “Did you bomb on purpose?” Woodman asks when he sees Gabe in the school. Gabe doesn’t reply but we all know the answer.

The problem is that Gabe “bombing,” occurs off-screen and we only hear about it second-hand. It’s hard not to feel a bit cheated because the idea of Gabe giving an intentionally bad performance sounds like it would have been a lot more fun to watch than sitting through yet another scene of Julie giving Gabe the death glare while Gabe looks like a deer in the headlights.

On the plus side, this episode did feature some good Sweathog moments. John Travolta, who hasn’t really gotten a lot to do in the latter half of the third season, explains that the best way to deal with someone leaving is to pretend that they’re dead so you don’t have to worry about them anymore. All of the Sweatogs dress up to visit Gabe before he performs and all of the cheap suits provide a nice visual moment. The Sweatogs may not have the money for expensive suits but they still want to look their best when they see Gabe. They respect their teacher, even if he is thinking of abandoning them,

In the end, this entire two-part episode was a bit of an anti-climax. Because the show would cease to exist if Gabe actually did go on tour and we’re not even done with the third season yet, we all know that Gabe is going to eventually return to the Sweathogs. And considering that Gabe seemed a lot happier as a comedian than as a teacher, it’s kind of hard not to feel bad for the guy. He’s stuck with Arnold Horshack! Your dreams were your ticket out but now your dreams are your prison. Welcome back indeed.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.20 “There’s No Business: Part One”

Posted on May 4, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Gabe finally realizes that there’s more to life than teaching!

Episode 3.20 “There’s No Business: Part One”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on January 26th, 1978)

After Vinnie attempts and fails to be a hit at the Comedy Connection’s open mic night, the Sweathogs decide that Gabe should give it a shot. According to the Sweathogs, the audience at the Comedy Connection loves it when people get on stage and tell really old jokes. Gabe admits that he’s thought about doing stand-up before. He decides to give it a shot.

And you know who is really happy about that? Mr. Woodman. Mr. Woodman can’t wait to heckle Gabe. Woodman explains that he’s a master heckler. He’s been heckling people his entire life. “Ever hear of Shecky Rubinstein?” Woodman asks. No, Gabe replies. That’s because Woodman heckled him until he quit show business.

The first night that Gabe performs, Woodman gets many opportunities to heckle. While Woodman, the Sweathogs, and Julie sit in the audience, Gabe struggles through a routine about his aunts and uncles. The audience is not amused. Woodman laughs but only at the fact that no one likes Gabe. As dispirited Gabe retreats to his dressing room, where he tells Julie that he’s going to give up on comedy.

That’s when agent Peter Charnoff (Sam Weisman) enters the room and tells Gabe that he’s funny. It doesn’t matter that Gabe bombed because “there’s some crazy old man out there heckling anyone.” Peter tells Gabe that he should talk about his students in his act.

The Sweathogs are surprisingly cool with the idea of Gabe making fun of them. The next week, Gabe again takes the stage and the audience loves his jokes, especially the ones about how Freddie always says “Hi there,” and Epstein forges his own notes. Gabe is a hit! And, with Peter’s encouragement, he announces that he’s stepping away from teaching so that he can be a stand-up comedian. The Sweathogs and Julie are stunned!

And run the end credits!

Hey, Gabe quit and apparently, he’s abandoning his wife and children. I guess the show’s over now. Thanks for reading, everyone! I wasn’t expecting things to end this abruptly but overall, I enjoyed….

Oh wait. This is a two-parter and this is just the end of part one. So, maybe the series isn’t over. We’ll find out next week, I guess!

As for this episode, it made sense that Gabe would eventually become a stand-up comedian. I’m a bit surprised it took him this long. I’m not really sure that audiences would actually go crazy over the rather anodyne jokes that Gabe told about his students but whatever. It’s television. (In Gabe Kaplan’s actual stand-up act, Arnold Horshack was named Arnold Horseshit. Obviously, that wasn’t going to happen on network television in 1978.) The highlight, as usual, was Woodman’s unhinged delight in being a jerk. Mr. Woodman is a true treasure.

We’ll see how Gabe’s new career progresses next week!

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back Kotter 3.19 “Epstein’s Term Paper”

Posted on April 27, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s term paper time!

Episode 3.19 “Epstein’s Term Paper”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on January 19th,1978)

It’s term paper time!

Freddie Washington’s term paper is on the Dust Bowl, which he turns in despite the fact that, as he explains it, “Dust killed my grandma.”

Vinnie’s term paper is on the Irish Potato Famine. Vinnie thinks that the potato famine had something to do with no one in Ireland being able to eat French fries.

Arnold Horshack’s paper is on Joseph Stalin and the Purges, despite the fact that Horshack doesn’t know who Stalin was.

As Gabe tells Julie when she stops by his classroom for lunch, he’s really impressed with all the term papers. In fact, he is concerned because he’s too impressed. The Sweathogs have never been A-students so why are they now turning in perfect term papers? Gabe, however, is looking forward to reading Epstein’s term paper on FDR. Eleven years ago, Gabe turned in a term paper on FDR in which he described FDR as being a “white knight.”

Julie takes one look at Epstein’s term paper and mentions that Epstein used the exact same phrase.

Yes, you guessed it. The Sweathogs bought a bunch of old test papers from Carvelli (Charles Fleischer) and attempted to pass them off their own. Only Angie wrote her own term paper. She got a B minus, which she is happy about. Vinnie, Horshack, Freddie, and Epstein all gets F’s. They’re not happy about it because they spent five dollars apiece for those papers.

“I could have written it myself,” Vinnie says, “and gotten an F for free!”

Gabe, however, tells the Sweathogs that he’ll give them one final chance to write new term papers. Gabe explains that just because he turned in a term paper on FDR, that doesn’t mean that he wrote it. So I guess the lesson here is that Gabe cheated and now he’s a teacher so cheating isn’t the end of the world.

Considering the subject matter and the fact that Gabe usually tries to encourage the Sweathogs to not take shortcuts, this was a surprisingly slight episode. One gets the feeling that, if this story had been used during the first season, Gabe would have been a lot more upset about the fake term papers and he would have encouraged the Sweathogs to believe in themselves and their abilities. However, in the third season, everything was treated as a big joke. Gabe no longer seems that concerned about the Sweathogs realizing that they’re capable of being more than just Sweathogs. Watching this episode, I couldn’t help but think about how the Sweathogs lost their edge halfway through the second season. They used to be believable as delinquents, albeit goofy ones. By the time the third season began, they had all been reduced to a series of catch phrases and gimmicks. Robert Hegyes had some funny moments in this episode but it’s still hard not miss the old Epstein, the one who voted most likely to take a life.

As for this episode’s opening and closing jokes, Gabe told Mr. Woodman about his Uncle Murrow the biologist. Woodman was not amused. Later, Gabe tried to tell Julie about his Uncle Joe, just for Julie to shout out the punchline before he finished. Gabe was not amused.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.18 “Angie”

Posted on April 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Gabe gets a new student.

Episode 3.18 “Angie”

(Dir by Alan Myerson, originally aired on January 12th, 1978)

Gabe tells Julie a joke about his Uncle Zoltan. It’s not really that good of a joke but Julie fake laughs as if it’s the funniest thing that she’s ever heard. I notice that this has been happening a lot over the course of Welcome Back, Kotter‘s third season. By most reports, Gabe Kaplan and Marcia Strassman could not stand each other off-camera. That’s especially obvious whenever Strassman deliberately overreacts to one of Kaplan’s jokes. It’s easy to imagine that Strassman was secretly thinking of throwing something at Kaplan whenever she laughed.

At school, Mr. Woodman interrupts Gabe’s class to introduce everyone to a new student, Angie Grabowski (Melonie Haller). Epstein, Washington, Horshack, and Barbarino are very excited to see their new classmate, leading to Woodman ordering them to shut up.

Angie announces that she is thrilled to be in Gabe’s class because her dream has always been to become a Sweathog. Really? I mean, Barbarino’s cute but would anyone really dream of hanging out with Horshack? Of course, it doesn’t matter what Angie wants. Washington and Epstein explain that women are not allowed to become Sweathogs. That kind of contradicts everything that we’ve previously learned about the Sweathogs but whatever.

Determined to prove that she can be a Sweathog, Angie riggs the spinklers in Woodman’s office. Woodman ends up soaked but he also announces that he’s going to expel all of the Sweathogs. Angie demands that he expel her as well. (Angie seems to be a little self-destructive.)

Well, so much for the Sweathogs. I guess the show is over. Thanks for reading these reviews and….

Oh wait! Angie figures out that the fire alarm is broken because it didn’t go off when the sprinklers started up. The fire alarm is Woodman’s responsibility! The Sweathogs — including Angie — dress up as firemen and demonstrate to Woodman that the alarm doesn’t work. Somehow, this leads to Woodman not expelling the Sweathogs and apparently just forgetting about the prank with the sprinklers. It also leads to Angie becoming a Sweathog.

Later, Gabe tells Woodman a joke about Ebenezer Kotter, the cheapest of all his uncles. It takes Woodman a while to figure out the joke but then he laughs in his wonderfully unhinges way. Gabe Kaplan actually had more chemistry with John Sylvester White than he did with Marica Strassman.

This episode attempted to rejuvenate the show by introducing a new Sweathog. That makes sense. A lot of shows have tried to reverse declining ratings by introducing a new character. The problem is that the show doesn’t need a new Sweathog as much as it just needs for the old Sweathogs to return to being the realistic (if flamboyant) troublemakers that they were during the first season. In her first appearance, Melonie Haller delivers her lines in a flat and emotionless manner, which adds to the feeling that Angie might not be quite sane. Seriously, I’m worried about Horshack. It’s obvious that he has a crush on Angie but Angie seems likely to turn into a stalker.

Run, Horshack, run!

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.17 “Meet Your New Teacher: Batteries Not Included”

Posted on April 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a computer tries to take over Gabe’s class. I wonder how Barbarino will react….

Okay, everyone, it’s Barbarino time!

Episode 3.17 “Meet Your New Teacher: Batteries Not Included”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on January 5th, 1978)

Barbarino’s not in this episode.

That may seem like an strange detail with which to lead off this review but, as far as the third season has been concerned, John Travolta’s performance as Barbarino has been one of the few consistently good things about Welcome Back, Kotter. I’m going to guess that Travolta was absent from shooting because of the success of Saturday Night Fever. Maybe he was off filming Grease. That’s all understandable but still, the show really suffers when he’s not around. Of the Sweathogs, he was the one who usually avoided turning into a cartoon. In his way, he was the anchor of the group. Plus, by this point, he was the only one who still looked young enough to be in high school.

Fortunately, John Sylvester White is in this episode. If Travolta played an important role in keeping the show grounded, White’s unhinged performance as Woodman did an equally good job of keeping the show funny. White could make even the simplest of lines hilarious by virtue of the incredible bitterness in Woodman’s voice.

This week, Mr. Woodman is excited because he’s purchased a computer that can teach! He rolls it into Gabe’s classroom and informs Gabe that, from now on, he’ll be asking the computer for answers.

Obviously, it’s easy to roll your eyes at that bulky computer, especially since it appears to be more of a typewriter than anything else. (I’m going to assume that is was state-of-the-art for the 70s). Still, one could argue that this episode predicted the rise of A.I. Gabe types in his questions and then the computer gives him an answer. The computer has been programmed to always be correct. Gabe complains that the computer can’t tell jokes but the Sweathogs don’t care. They love the computer! And, after a few days, Woodman returns to the classroom with a chart that shows how everyone’s grades have improved.

Woodman thinks that the computer is his ticket to a promotion. He also thinks that the computer will finally allow him to fire Gabe. (Sometimes, Woodman likes Gabe and sometimes, he tries to get him fired. Normally, I’d complain about the inconsistency but the genius of John Sylvester White’s performance is that you just accept that Woodman’s insane and move on.) The Sweathogs fear that Gabe will lose his job so Epstein sabotages the computer so that it gives wrong answers when Woodman tries to demonstrate it to a district representative. Did you know the Harlem Globetrotters fought at the Battle of Waterloo?

It’s never really made clear how Epstein sabotaged the computer but no matter. One of the flaws of AI is that, even though it acts like its thinking, it’s actually just repeating whatever it’s programmed to do. This computer claims that the Globetrotters fought at Waterloo. Decades later, Google Gemini would become infamous for creating ahistorical images of black and female presidents who were all presumably elected at a time when only white men were allowed to vote or run for office. AI never changes.

I would have loved to have seen Barbarino interact with the computer. He was seriously missed in this episode. But Woodman’s unhinged personality made up for a lot of that. This was fun, even if it still wasn’t nearly as memorable as any of the episodes from the first two seasons of the show.

As for this episodes jokes, Gabe tried to tell Julie a joke about his Uncle Magnovich. Julie didn’t seem to care that much. At the end of the episode, Gabe tried to tell the computer a joke. The computer did not react. “Don’t you get it?” Gabe typed.

“No,” the computer replied.

Poor Gabe!

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.16 “Sweatwork”

Posted on April 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Arnold Horshack becomes the mad prophet of the air waves.

Episode 3.16 “Sweatwork”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on December 22nd, 1977)

At the new apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his Uncle Herman. “He’s a sports mechanic,” Gabe explains, “He fixes basketball games.”

Hey, that’s illegal!

Meanwhile, at the school, Woodman asks to meet with Freddie. Freddie agrees, even though Woodman has been acting strangely. Woodman enters the classroom and immediately asks for a high five, holding up his hand and saying, “Right on, bro. Skin me.”

Woodman is excited because the school board is giving money to every high school to start a radio station. And the station that gets the highest ratings will receive a trophy. Buchanan High has never won a trophy before. Because Freddie has radio experience, Woodman want Freddie to be in charge of Buchanan’s station. Freddie agrees.

“That’s groovy!” Woodman says.

Juan Epstein and Darth Vader at the station

Freddie makes Epstein the consumer repairs reporter while giving Horshack the lead anchor role. (Vinnie is also said to be a reporter but John Travolta is never actually seen in this episode.) Unfortunately, Horshack turns out to be ratings poison.

“He reminds me of Tokyo Rose,” Woodman says, while listening to Horshack. “Bye bye, young G.I.”

Freddie follows Woodman’s orders and fires Horshack but he does agree to allow Horshack one more broadcast to say goodbye. Grabbing the microphone, Horshack asks his listeners to go to their windows and shout, “I’m fed up, Arnold …. AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!”

Suddenly, Horshack is ratings gold. He’s the mad prophet of the air waves. He has fans who hang on his every word. But when Horshack announces that the teachers should not be given a raise, he is invited to the Kotter apartment. Gabe tells Horshack that he has meddled in the primal forces of nature and “YOU WILL ATONE!”

Horshack drops his anti-teacher rhetoric and goes back to being a normal, boring broadcaster. His ratings crash. Woodman vengefully announces that Horshack will be kept after school.

“This has been the story of Arnold Horshack,” Gabe says, “the only man kept after school for bad ratings.”

The episode ends with Gabe telling Woodman about how his Uncle Simon was buried in a rented tux and his father has to pay $15 a month as a result. Woodman finds the joke to be hilarious and laughs so much that even Gabe starts to get nervous.

This episode, which you’ve already guessed was a parody of Network, had its moments. Gabe is barely in this sone but I did enjoy his take on Ned Beatty’s famous monologue. And any episode that features a lot of Woodman is going to be enjoyable because John Sylvester White was always delightfully unhinged in the role. In the end, how one reacts to this episode will depend on how much tolerance one has for Ron Pallilo’s performance as Arnold Horshack. By the time the third season came around, Pallilo’s performance in the role had gone from eccentric to cartoonish and a little of Horshack tended to be a lot. Personally, I think Epstein should have been this episode’s Howard Beale. That said, I chuckled quite a bit while watching this episode. It was certainly better than the radio station episodes of Saved By The Bell.

Next week, Gabe freaks out when the Sweathogs are taught by a computer! A.I. has been around a lot longer than I thought.