Conrad Janis | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week …. it’s Halloween!

Episode 2.5 “The Devil and Jonathan Smith”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on October 30th, 1985)

It’s Halloween and Mark Gordon has got himself in some trouble.

Left alone while Jonathan helps a guy learn that gambling is never a good idea, Mark accidentally runs over a kid. The child is taken to the hospital in critical condition. Though Mark is told that the accident was not his fault, he still feels guilty and remarks to one doctor (Anthony Zerbe) that he would even give up his own soul for the child to get better. And wouldn’t you know yet — suddenly, the child gets better!

It turns out that the doctor wasn’t a doctor at all. He was Jabez Stone, a bookstore owner who works for the Devil (played, with two horns on his head, by Michael Berryman). Jabez explains that unless Mark holds up his end of the bargain, the child will die. He gives Mark a contract to sign, stating that he will give his soul to the Devil at the end of Halloween. Without Jonathan around to advise him, Mark signs the contract.

When Jonathan does finally return from his mission, he’s not happy to hear about what Mark has done. Jonathan explains that he can’t just order Jabez to destroy the contract. Instead, he’s going to have to somehow convince Jabez to give him the contract. In short, Jonathan is going to have to pull a con job. Since he’s an angel, Jonathan is not allowed to lie or steal. But there is a con artist named CJ Barabbas (Conrad Janis) who might be willing to help.

Or, CJ might be planning on tricking Jonathan into surrendering his own soul to Devil! As CJ tells Jabez, he would be willing to do anything to make sure he got a cushy office job if he should happen to end up in Hell. Is CJ planning on betraying Jonathan or is it just another part of the con?

Well, you can guess the answer. We’re only in the second season of a five-season show and, if Jonathan lost his soul, that would make the rest of the series kind of awkward. There’s never any doubt that CJ is playing a long con on Jabez and the Devil and it’s actually pretty easy to guess just how exactly he’s going to pull it off. This isn’t The Sting. It’s Highway to Heaven.

That said, this was a fun episode. Michael Berryman and Anthony Zerbe both seemed to be having a ball playing such cartoonishly evil characters and Conrad Janis was actually rather charming in the role of CJ Barabbas. Season 2 has gotten off to an uneven start but this episode was both humorous and, in its way, kind of touching. Landon and French were close friends in real life and that friendship comes through as Jonathan tries to keep Mark from spending an eternity in Hell.

Next week, Jonathan teaches a bunch of factory workers a lesson about pollution!

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Gopher sings!

Episode 3.6 “Gopher’s Greatest Hits/The Vacation/One Rose A Day”

(Dir by Alan Rafkin, originally aired on October 13th, 1979)

What a pleasant cruise this turned out to be!

Two sisters, Joan (Joanna Cassidy) and Olivia (Jaye P. Morgan), are apparently regulars on the boat. They sail so often that Captain Stubing literally jumps for joy when he sees that they are once again on the ship. Joan and Olivia always take the cruise together and usually, they have a wild time. But this year, Olivia is shocked when Joan shows up with her husband, Byron (Conrad Janis)! Byron is a bit uptight and not at all happy when he starts to hear stories about how wild his wife and sister-in-law have gotten in the past. He assumes that Joan has cheated on him. She hasn’t but Olivia has cheated on her husband. In the end, Olivia continues to have fun and Joan decides that it’s time to settle down. This story suffered a bit because Byron came across as being insufferably self-righteous but Joanna Cassidy and Jaye P. Morgan were believable as sisters. As someone who has enjoyed a wild vacation or two with her sisters, I could relate.

Meanwhile, Janet Latham (Martha Scott) is taking her first vacation since the death of her husband. Her florist, Henry (Don Ameche), is also on the cruise. Every day, during their marriage, Janet’s husband would have Henry deliver a single white rose to Janet. After her husband died, Henry continued to deliver the roses to Janet. He allowed Janet to believe that her husband had arranged for her to continue to receive the daily roses but it turns out that Henry has been delivering them on his own because he’s fallen in love with her. Janet does fall in love with Henry on the ship, though she fears that she’s betraying her husband’s memory. Fortunately, by the end of the cruise, she’s ready to take another shot on love. This story worked wonderfully, largely due to the sincere and heartfelt performances of Martha Scott and Don Ameche. There was a tremendous amount of sincerity to their love story and it was impossible not to smile at the sight of them leaving the cruise together.

Finally, Julie has a problem! The singer that she scheduled to perform in the Acapulco Lounge gets the mumps and has to cancel at the last minute. Julie has to find a replacement. Fortunately, it turns out that Gopher has a great singing voice. He performs at the Lounge, wearing a pink tuxedo and acting like a drunk brat packer. The audiences loves him. The captain, once skeptical, applauds. Gopher thinks that they love his singing but actually, they all think that he’s parodying a bad lounge act. When the captain congratulates Gopher for being a brilliant comedian, the crestfallen Gopher says that he’s only going to sing in the shower from now on. So, Julie arranges for a fake shower to be placed in the middle of the Acapulco Lounge so that Gopher can sing Danny Boy while Isaac holds a watering can over his head. Again, the captain loves it. This was undoubtedly a goofy storyline but goofiness was Fred Grandy’s strong suit and it’s hard not to smile at his over-the-top interpretation of Mack the Knife.

This was a good episode that really showed how much fun The Love Boat could be at its best. From the sentimental Don Ameche/Martha Scott storyline to Fred Grandy dancing around the pool, this was an entertaining cruise.