A House Is Not A Home Has A Release Date!

Posted on August 2, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Remember, back in 2014, when I reviewed a horror film called A House Is Not A Home? Well, if you don’t, I’ll remind you what I thought about the film in a second. But first, I wanted to let you know that A House Is Not A Home not only has a brand new and super intense poster (seen above) but it also has a release date!

Following a limited theatrical run, MVD Entertainment Group will be releasing A House Is Not A Home on DVD and digital platforms on September 27th! Directed by Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray and starring Bill Cobbs, Richard Grieco, Eddie Steeples, Aurora Perrineau, Diahnna Nicole Baxter, Gerald Webb, and Melvin Gregg, A House Is Not A Home premiered at the Burbank International Film Festival, where it picked up the award for Best Horror Feature!

You can order a copy of A House Is Not A Home from amazon or at the MVD Shop.

You can check out my review by clicking here. If you don’t have time to check out my review, I’ll give you the short version: A House Is Not A Home is an atmospheric, well-acted, and entertaining horror film. It’s an effectively creepy film and features a genuinely interesting exorcism scene. As I said at the end of my review, the film’s dream-like and horrific atmosphere compares to the best of Lucio Fulci.

Finally, to quote directly from my review:

“A House Is Not A Home is one of the few non-comedic films that I’ve seen recently that featured an almost entirely African-American cast. That’s really saying something when you consider that I literally watch hundreds of films a year. At a time when mainstream filmmaking (and the horror genre in particular) still seems to be struggling to break free from racial stereotyping, A House Is Not A Home is definitely a step in the right direction.”

I wrote that two years ago. I’m glad to see that now everyone else will have a chance to discover A House Is Not A Home for themselves!

Here’s the film’s trailer:

Let’s Talk About 3-Headed Shark Attack!

Posted on July 22, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK4TKbwJjRI

One thing that I love about Asylum films is that, as opposed to big studio productions, they always deliver exactly what they promise. As a part of the lead up to the third Sharknado film, 3-Headed Shark Attack premiered on the SyFY network on Monday night. The title promised a three-headed shark and that is exactly what the film delivered. The title also promised that the three-headed shark would attack and, again, that’s exactly what happened. This giant 3-headed shark devoured a record number of fisherman, scientists, and college students.

3-Headed Shark Attack is also the story of three boats and the people on those boats.

One boat is a booze cruise that’s full of rich kids and their bikini-clad girlfriends. You really only have to take one look at these people to know that almost all of them are doomed. However, they certainly are not helping matters by tossing all of their empty beer cans into the ocean. Little do they know that there’s a giant shark with three heads following the trail of cans.

On another, much smaller boat, there are the survivors of the 3-headed shark’s previous attack on the Persephone research lab. They are scientists, environmentalists, and a few student interns. They may have been dedicated to protecting the environment but the three-headed shark could hardly care less. While thsee people seem to be a little bit more competent than the drunks on the booze cruise, it’s still hard not to feel that they are all equally doomed.

And finally, there’s one final boat. The people on this fishing boat have guns, which in theory should be helpful against a three-headed shark. Even more importantly, Danny Trejo is on this boat! If anyone can defeat a three-headed shark, it’s Danny Trejo, right!? SyFy advertised 3-Headed Shark Attack as “starring Danny Trejo” but, to be honest, Danny’s role is pretty much a cameo. But that’s okay. Danny Trejo is always fun, regardless of how much screen time he has. Plus, the film smartly uses Danny’s badass persona to keep the audience off-balance.

3-Headed Shark Attack was director Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray (who also directed the much different but equally entertaining Mega Shark vs. Kolossus) and it’s also a sequel to 2-Headed Shark Attack. 3 Headed Shark Attack is a surprisingly somber film, one in which likable characters are just as likely to killed as unlikable ones and where the ocean frequently turns red with innocent blood. For those who, as a result of the Sharknado films, have gotten it into their heads that all Asylum films are actually comedies, 3-Headed Shark Attack will prove otherwise.

3-Headed Shark Attack is an entertaining work of underwater mayhem. If, like all good people, you love the Asylum style of filmmaking, you’ll find a lot to enjoy about 3-Headed Shark Attack. This is a film that delivers exactly what it promises.

Here’s hoping that 4-Headed Shark Attack is close behind!

Let’s Talk About Mega Shark vs. Kolossus!

Posted on July 21, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Looking forward to seeing who @LisaMarieBowman kills next with her tweets #megasharkvskolossus

— Kelly Thul (@kellythul) July 19, 2015

It was while watching Mega Shark vs. Kolossus that I discovered that, apparently, I have the power to kill fictional characters with my tweets. As soon Dr. Sergie Abramov (Patrick Bauchau) first appeared on screen, I tweeted out my prediction that he was “doomed,” largely because he was “eccentric and old.” 15 minutes later, a group of gun-toting mercenaries showed up and gunned Dr. Abramov down.

AGCK!, I thought, I didn’t really mean to kill him…

Now, normally, I would have to admit that discovering that I possessed that much power would lead to a lot of thought and reflection on my part. But you know what? I was enjoying myself way too much to really feel that bad about getting Dr. Abramov killed. That’s the type of film that Mega Shark vs. Kolossus is. It’s a lot of fun and, if the cost of that fun is that Dr. Abramov had to die … well, so be it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f78-ga4bgs

Produced by the Asylum and directed by Christoper Douglas-Olen Ray (who also directed A House Is Not A Home and Shark Week), Mega Shark vs. Kolossus premiered on SyFy right after Roboshark. I have to admit that, when the film began, I wasn’t sure that anything could successfully follow the brilliance that was Roboshark.

But, Mega Shark vs. Kolossus proved my doubts wrong.

Mega Shark vs. Kolossus is not only a good SyFy film and a worthy entry in the Mega Shark franchise but it’s also a lot of fun. If I could only pick a handful of movies to justify my love of SyFy and Asylum films, Mega Shark vs. Kolossus would definitely be right there with End of the World and Jersey Shore Shark Attack. Mega Shark vs. Kolossus has everything — from the knowing humor to the over-the-top action to the flamboyant monsters — that you could possibly want from a SyFy film.

At heart, Mega Shark vs. Kolossus is a delirious homage to the old school Godzilla films where Godzilla would have to reluctantly save humanity from yet another giant monster. (Kolossus is even reminiscent of the robotic Godzilla from Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla.)

As the film starts, the world has been thrown into chaos as the result of all of the previous Mega Shark attacks. Admiral Jackson (Ernest Thomas) is determined to track down and destroy Mega Shark but Dr. Alison Gray (Illeana Douglas) argues that if we would just leave Mega Shark alone then Mega Shark would leave us alone. Billionaire Joshua Dane (Brody Hutzler) claims to agree with her but is it possible that he has ulterior motives of his own? Well, consider this: has there even been a truly benevolent billionaire in an Asylum film?

Meanwhile, in the Ukraine, Kolossus — a giant robot that was created during the Cold War — has accidentally be activated. Can secret agent Moria King (Amy Rider, who totally kicked ass and who deserves to appear in every subsequent Mega Shark film) and CIA analyst Spencer (Edward DeRuiter, who also wrote the film’s script) figure out how to control Kolossus?

And, finally, will Kolossus and Mega Shark meet and fight? Well, the answer to that one is right in the title of the film.

Mega Shark vs. Kolossus is delirious fun, a surprisingly well-acted and entertaining homage to the great monster movies of the past. Obviously, Mega Shark is the top-billed star here but, for me, the film is really stolen by Kolossus. This behemoth of robotic mayhem dominates almost every scene in which he appears and hopefully, he’ll return for a future movie. Could Sharktopus vs. Kolossus or Roboshark Meets Kolossus be in the future? I certainly hope so!

Mega Shark vs. Kolossus is terrific and entertaining. If you missed it the first time, keep an eye out for a future showing. You will not be disappointed!

We love you, Kolossus!

Trailer: A House Is Not A Home (dir by Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray)

Posted on September 7, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A House Is Not A Home, a film directed by Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray and produced by and starring one of my favorite actors, the great Gerald Webb, is having its world premiere tonight at the Burbank International Film Festival!

Here’s the trailer:

What Lisa Watched Last Night: 2-Headed Shark Attack (dir. by Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray)

Posted on September 9, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I turned over to the SyFy network and I watched a little film called 2-Headed Shark Attack.

Why Was I Watching It?

I blame twitter. Every Saturday, at 8:00 pm, a group of brave and witty film fans log onto twitter and spend the next two hours deconstructing whatever movie might happen to be playing on the SyFy network that night. Last night, that film was 2-Headed Shark Attack.

Also, how often do you get to see a shark with two heads? I saw a lamb with two heads once and that was pretty disturbing but a shark with two heads? Seriously, there was simply no excuse for not watching.

(Speaking for myself, I couldn’t handle having two heads, just because I suspect the other head would be an attention whore.)

What Was It About?

For some reason, there’s a bunch of incredibly stupid college students on a boat that’s floating out in the middle of nowhere. Apparently, they’re taking part in a “semester at sea” program though, as I watched the film, I came to suspect that they had actually been kidnapped by pirates claiming to be professors and they were unknowingly being delivered to a white slavery ring in Aruba.

Anyway, the head professor (or pirate) is Prof. Babish (former Bachelor Charlie O’Connell) and when the boat starts to sink, largely because of his own stupidity, he decides to take all of his students to a nearby atoll. There, they can all hang out and deliver terrible dialogue while the ship’s hull is repaired and the professor’s wife (Carmen Electra) works on her tan.

The only problem is that the atoll is in the process of sinking and there’s a shark with two heads prowling the waters…

What Worked?

Like most Asylum films, 2-Headed Shark Attack is a film that was made to be watched with friends. If you’re taking the film seriously, you’re missing the point. This is one of those films that invites you to sit back and laugh along with it.

The two-headed shark was the best actor in the film and it was easy to root for him.

Charlie O’Connell has a scene where he gets what appears to be a minor scratch on his leg and he responds by going, “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…” for about ten minutes straight. It simply has to be seen to be believed.

What Did Not Work?

The film’s heroine was played by Brooke Hogan and wow. Whether it was because of the sleep-inducing way she delivered her lines or the fact that her character claimed that she could repair the boat because, “My dad was a welder,” I have to say that I have never so wanted to see one person get devoured by a two-headed shark.

Initially, those of us on twitter were really excited because we thought that one of the characters was named Tequila. However, it soon became obvious that we had all misheard and his name was actually Dikilla. Don’t get me wrong, Dikilla is a pretty good name but, after we had all had so much fun with the idea of him being named Tequila, it was hard not to be disappointed to discover that we were wrong.

“OH MY GOD! Just like me!’ Moment

Though she was roundly despised by just about everyone on twitter, I have to admit that I very much related to the character who became known as “the blue eyeshadow girl.” She was the girl who continually came up with the silliest solutions to the group’s predicament. She also had a gun for most of the film but, during the final minutes, revealed that she had absolutely no idea how to use it when she fired point-blank at the two-headed shark and, somehow, managed to miss every time. Even as I made fun of her on twitter, I silently thought to myself, “That would so be me if I had ever signed up for a semester at sea.”

Lessons Learned

Double the head equals double the fun.