Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction aired off-and-on for about five years on the Fox network. A sign of just how randomly this show was scheduled can be found in the fact that season 3 started in 2000 while season 4 didn’t start until 2002. Reruns of the show currently air on the Chiller Network which is where I recently discovered it.
Hosted by Jonathan Frakes, each episode would present the viewers with five different stories. Each story would appear to defy logic and then, at the end of the episode, Frakes would reveal which of the stories were fact and which were fiction. The show was often incredibly silly and yet, it occasionally had an odd charm to it. A lot of this was due to Jonathan Frakes, who always seemed to be rather amused with it all.
Even more importantly, as bad as this show often was, it’s the perfect type of show to watch in October. It’s the television equivalent of a scary story being told around a campfire.
Below, you’ll find the final episode of the third season. Can you guess what’s fact and what’s fiction?
Last night, I watched a marathon of Godzilla films on Chiller and, perhaps somewhat foolishly, I took it upon myself to review each film that I saw. Following Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, I watched the 19th film in the franchise, 1992’s Godzilla vs. Mothra.
If you’ve seen any previous Godzilla films, you will not be surprised to discover that Godzilla vs. Mothra opens with a random ecological disaster. A meteorite strikes the Earth, causing a mudslide on Infant Island that reveals a very large egg. As you can probably guess from the title, the egg contains the latest incarnation of Mothra, the giant moth who protects human civilization.
And human civilization needs to be protected because that meteorite has also woken up Battra, another ancient insect that serves as a bit of an anti-Mothra. Battra was created by the Earth to maintain a balance between the planet and the humans who lived on it. Whenever the Earth feels threatened, Battra destroys the menace. Unfortunately, mankind is now the biggest threat to the planet.
And, finally, when that meteorite struck, Godzilla was hibernating under the sea. Now, Godzilla is awake and he’s not particularly happy about it. One thing that I always find interesting about Godzilla films is that the film’s human heroes are always 1) so shocked to discover that Godzilla has woken up and 2) so incapable of tracking Godzilla down once he does wake up. Seriously, how hard is it to find a gigantic lizard that breathes radioactive fire?
Godzilla vs. Mothra has its good points (for example, the idea behind Battra is a fascinating one and, as is to be expected from a Godzilla film, the monster fights are handled well) but, for the most part, it’s one of the more uneven of the Godzilla films. The film is maybe 10 minutes too long, the heavy-handed ecological message makes Godzilla vs. Hedorahlook subtle and nuanced, it drags whenever the monsters are not on-screen, and, as far as the English language version is concerned, the dubbing is so atrocious that I almost suspect that it was done poorly on purpose.
But, that said, Godzilla vs. Mothra has one big thing going for it. Mothra kicks ass! Of all the various monsters that often play sidekick (or rival) to Godzilla, Mothra is my favorite. (I even like her more than that armadillo from Godzilla vs. Gigan.) Whereas the rest of the Toho monsters can never seem to decide whether they want to destroy the Earth or save it, Mothra is the franchise’s warrior queen. She is the one who serves not only as the voice of reason but she is also usually the only one who can convince Godzilla to stop destroying Tokyo long enough to defeat the aliens or Ghidorah or whatever other threat has invaded Japan this week. And, during those rare times when Godzilla ignores her (like in this film, for instance), Mothra puts him in his place.
Best of all, Mothra may start out as an ugly larvae but you always know that, halfway through the film, she’s going to emerge as a beautiful moth. There’s a valuable life lesson there for all of us.
The Godzilla marathon on Chiller is continuing. Immediately following Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah,we were treated to the 14th film in the Godzilla franchise, 1974’s Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla.
There’s no way that I can start this review without pointing out a mistake made by Chiller. In both the programming guide and at the start and end of each commercial break, Chiller insisted that they were showing a film from 2002 called Godzilla Against MechaGodzilla. However, from the minute the film started, it was obvious that we were watching something from the 70s. Between the jazzy score and unfortunate male hair choices, this film was so 70s that it might as well have been snorting coke and listening to progressive rock. Mind you, that’s not a complaint on my part. In general, films from the 70s are a lot of fun.
And that’s a pretty good description of Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. It’s a fun movie, especially if you’re watching it with a group of snarky friends. Some movies were specifically made to be watched with a group and Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla is one of those films.
When, in Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, Godzilla emerges from Mt. Fuji, he is greeted by his armadillo friend from Godzilla vs. Gigan. Godzilla reacts by savagely attacking his armadillo friend. “No,” I shouted at the TV, “bad Godzilla!” Seriously, it may just be because I live in Texas and I always feel bad whenever I see one of his relatives laying dead in the middle of the street but I love that giant armadillo!
Anyway, Godzilla decides to live up to his new identity as Jerkzilla by going on yet another rampage through Japan. Suddenly, Jerkzilla is confronted by … Godzilla! That’s right, it turns out that Jerkzilla isn’t Godzilla at all. Instead, he’s a giant robot named Mechagodzilla!
Mechagodzilla!
As you may have guessed, the blame all lies with aliens. In Godzilla Vs. Gigan, the trouble was the result of intergalactic cockroaches that had taken on human form. In Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, the villains are space monkeys who have taken on human form. And I do have to say — and I mean no offense to the space cockroaches — but the space monkeys seem to have a much better shot at conquering the planet than those roaches ever did.
However, Mechagodzilla is not the only new monster to be found in this movie. There’s also King Caesar, an ancient creature who, if you believe prophecy, is destined to rise out of the mountains. (And, as we all know, one of the first rules of cinema is that prophecy always comes true!) Through the efforts of a group of typical Godzilla movie humans, King Caesar does wake up. Will he work with Godzilla or Mechagodzilla?
King Caesar
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla is a strange one and, judging from some of the comments that I’ve read online, that’s exactly why it’s a personal favorite of a lot of Godzilla fans. Myself, I enjoyed it. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it to anyone who isn’t already a fan of the franchise but those of you who enjoy a good Godzilla movie will find a lot to appreciate here. The monsters are silly but charming, the story moves quickly, and the film even has a big musical number for no particular reason.
Seriously, is a world that can’t appreciate a big robot Godzilla a world that any of us want to live in?
In honor of the opening of the new American version of Godzilla,Chiller is showing a marathon of Godzilla films today. While I was out and about during the first few films, I did make it home and turn on the TV in time to catch Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out.
That Godzilla is one moody lizard! Half of the time, he’s Earth’s protector and you can’t help but love the big guy, no matter how many cities he destroys. However, whenever Godzilla is in a bad mood — well, that’s when you better start looking out.
2001’s Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack finds him in one of his bad moods but, at least he has an excuse. He’s been possessed by the spirits of Japanese soldiers who were killed in World War II. Convinced that Japan has forgotten them and their sacrifice, they are now determined to use Godzilla to get their vengeance.
Fortunately, there are three ancient guardian monsters who, once awoken, can protect the Earth from Godzilla. Those three monsters are a dinosaur named Baragon, Mothra the giant Moth, and Ghidorah, the three-headed dragon with no arms. With Godzilla attacking, it’s up to Ghidorah to save mankind and…
Wait a minute!
Isn’t Ghidorah supposed to be like the epitome of pure evil? In fact, back when Godzilla was still the Earth’s protector, wasn’t Ghidorah the monster that Godzilla was always protecting us from?
Seriously, what the Hell…
Well, it really doesn’t matter. You don’t watch a Godzilla film for continuity. You watch them to enjoy all of the rubber-suited mayhem and that’s exactly what this film delivers. And you know what? Godzilla is actually a lot better at being a villain than a hero. Whereas the heroic Godzilla always had to watch his step to make sure that he didn’t actually step on any of his human friends, the villainous Godzilla does not care. Villainous Godzilla is a force of pure destruction and, as a result, is a lot more exciting to watch than heroic Godzilla.
And, perhaps not coincidentally, Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack is one of the more entertaining entries in the Godzilla franchise — a nonstop thrill-ride of monster mayhem that also happens to feature interesting and compelling human characters as well. Seriously, try not to be emotionally moved by the scenes of reporter Yuri and her father Admiral Tachibana working through their relationship while Tokyo burns around them. There’s a reason why this movie ends with a close-up of a beating heart!
And, it should be noted, it also happens to have the best title of any film in the Godzilla franchise.
Last night, I turned over to Chiller and watched the brilliant 2006 horror film, The Woods.
Why Was I Watching It?
I ended up watching The Woods almost at random. I didn’t want to go out last night because it’s Texas-OU weekend and that meant that the streets of Dallas would probably be full of drunk people from Tulsa. Even more importantly, I couldn’t go out because I’m recovering from a sprained ankle.
Normally, under those circumstances, I would have watched and live tweeted an original SyFy film. However, last night, SyFy was showing Fright Night which I had little interest in sitting through. So, instead, I turned over to Chiller and decided to give The Woods a try.
And that is how I randomly discovered one of the best horror films that I’ve recently seen.
What Was It About?
The year is 1965. Angry teenager Heather (Agnes Bruckner) starts a fire in a forest. Frustrated by their daughter’s rebellious nature, her parents enroll her at Falburn Academy, a boarding school that sits in the middle of the woods. Because she is the only redhead at the school, Heather is an immediate outsider who finds herself being taunted by the blonde Samantha (Rachel Nichols) and called “Firecrotch” by her other classmates.
However, Heather has more problems that just a bunch of anti-redhead bigots. She has nightmares where voices seem to call to her from the woods. Her friends Marcy and Ann both disappear from their beds, leaving behind a pile of dead leaves. Meanwhile, the school’s mysterious headmistress (Patricia Clarkson) insists that nothing strange is happening…
What Worked?
I wasn’t expecting much from The Woods. After all, it was a film that was released straight-to-DVD in 2006 and Chiller doesn’t exactly have a reputation for showing the best films. But, oh my God, y’all — The Woods turned out to be such a good film! The Woods is an atmospheric and surprisingly well-acted film that’s full of haunting imagery and memorable details. Much like Dario Argento’s Suspiria (which has a similar plot to this film), The Woods is a triumph of both style and substance.
While the entire film is well-acted, special mention should be made of Patricia Clarkson, who gives a performance that is both menacing and humorous. Genre fans will be happy to see Bruce Campbell in the role of Bruckner’s well-meaning father.
Finally, I have to admit that, as a member of the 2% of the population who have been blessed with red hair, I have a special appreciation for this film. Behind all of the scares, The Woods provides a compelling portrait of the discrimination that those of us with red hair struggle with every single day. From the minute Heather enters Falburn Academy, she is the subject of constant prejudice because of the color of her hair. As someone who has had to endure countless comments about redheads not having souls, I both related to and appreciated the film’s sensitivity to those of us in the 2%.
What Did Not Work?
Over on the film’s imdb page, there’s some debate as to whether or not the term “Firecrotch” was in use back in 1965. Personally, I think that’s nitpicking. The fact of the matter is that anti-redhead prejudice has always been with us. If people in the 60s didn’t attack us by calling us “Firecrotch,” they undoubtedly called us something equally bad. As far as I’m concerned, the entire film worked perfectly.
“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments
Almost the entire film was an “Oh my God! Just like me!” moment, largely because the main character was a redhead and had to deal with constant anti-redhead prejudice. (“Oh my God! Just like me!”)
At one point, Samantha taunts Heather by asking, “Is your pubic hair red?” which is the exact same question that I got asked several times throughout high school, though in my case, I was usually asked by a guy with a smirk on his face. (“You’ll never know,” I would reply.) Heather then finds herself being repeatedly called “Firecrotch” by people who are jealous of her red hair and again, oh my god! Just like me!
Finally, as I mentioned above, I sprained my ankle last Wednesday and, as such, I’ve spent the last few days recovering. Amazingly enough, about halfway through the film, Heather twists her ankle. She spends the rest of the movie either on crutches or painfully limping. Oh my God! Just like me!
(As a quick aside, can I just say how much I HATE crutches!? Oh my God, they’re the worst…)
Lessons Learned
I am tempted to say that the main lesson to be learned from The Woods is that it’s not easy being a redhead. However, I knew that before I watched the film. I also knew that you should stay out of the woods, which is the main reason why you’ll never catch me camping.
So, the most important lesson that I learned is that everyone should see The Woods.
Earlier tonight, I happened to catch, on Chiller, the 2011 film The Killing Jar.
Why Was I Watching It?
I was hoping that, at some point, the classic Siouxsie and the Banshees song would show up on the soundtrack. It didn’t.
What’s It About?
I’m trying to work up the strength necessary to go into it all but basically, there’s this diner down south and one night, right around closing time, a news story comes over the radio about a brutal murder that was committed at a nearby farm. There’s only a few people left in the diner — a depressed waitress (Tara from Buffy, a.k.a. Amber Benson), a tough trucker (Kevin Gage), a wimpy deputy (Lew Temple), a mysterious stranger (Harold Perrineau), two teenagers who don’t matter, and the Danny Trejo-look alike who apparently owns the place (Danny Trejo). Anyway, all these people are so upset to hear about the murders that they blame them on the first surly stranger who happens to step into the diner. Unfortunately, that stranger is played by Michael Madsen and he responds by shooting up the place (Danny Trejo’s head explodes in close-up) and holding the survivors hostage. Things get a little bit more complicated when Mr. Greene (Jake Busey) shows up and reveals that someone at the diner happens to be a contract killer known as Mr. Smith. Guess what? It’s not Michael Madsen.
After typing all that, I feel I have a responsibility to add that this all sounds a lot more interesting than it actually is.
What Works
Well, the big “twist” is kinda obvious and you probably figured out just from reading the previous paragraph. However, it’s still kinda fun, kinda being the word to remember. Benson and Gage both give pretty good performances and Busey seems to be having a lot of fun. Madsen, to be honest, seems to be on the verge of falling asleep in a few scenes but still, he can say more with an annoyed eye squint than most actors can with a 10-page monologue. However, the film really belongs to the always underappreciated Harold Perrineau and his combative, confrontational scene with Madsen is one of the few instances when the film really comes to life.
Danny Trejo’s head explodes with style.
What Doesn’t Work
Oh. My. God. Where to begin?
I can count the number of succesful “hostage” films on one hand and let’s just say that The Killing Jar is no Dog Day Afternoon. Taking place entirely in one location and with a small cast mouthing melodramatic dialogue, The Killing Jar unfolds like one of those really bad plays that an ex-boyfriend of mine used to write in high school. They always ended with everyone dead and always seemed to feature at least one evil redhead who ended up crying over the dead body of her ex-boyfriend.
Director Young does not help matters by confusing tension with meaningless pauses. There’s a lot of scenes of people glaring at each other but since nobody really comes across like a human being, the glares don’t mean anything.
HOWEVER, what really didn’t work about this film was the fact that the first 20 minutes of the film was taken up with Amber Benson asking people if they wanted a slice of “Pecan Pie,” that she claimed was “the best this side of the Mason-Dixon.” The problem here is that the film was clearly meant to be set in my part of the world. And in my part of the world, we pronounce it “PEH-cahn.” However, Benson repeatedly pronounced it “PEE-can.” Seriously, this annoyed me more than words can express. Listen up all you aspiring filmmakers — if you’re going to insist on setting your crappy films in my part of the world, at least try to get the pronunciation right. Speaking for myself, I don’t have the slightest idea what a PEE-can is supposed to be but it sounds kinda nasty. I’ll take a PEH-cahn over a PEE-can any day.
PEH-cahn Pie. Good Lord, people, it’s not that difficult.
There’s several very good films that I need to review over the next few days but, at the moment, I really need to write about Basement Jack, a low-budget 2009 slasher film that I watched on Chiller. Why do I need to write about Basement Jack? Well, I’m already hesitant to go to sleep because I know I’m going to have nightmares about this film. So, consider this to be my attempt at a quickie exorcism. Indulge me because I need to get this film out of my system.
Why Was I Watching This:
I love horror movies and, even though they always seem to end up giving me nightmares, these old school slasher films are like catnip to me. I can’t resist watching them, if just to see if they can keep the inherently predictable conventions of genre interesting.
What’s The Movie About:
Basement Jack (Eric Peter Kaiser) is a serial killer because when you’ve got a name like Basement Jack, it’s not like you’re going to become an accountant. Anyway, Jack’s thing is that he goes from town-to-town, selects a family to kill, and then secretly moves into their basement until there’s a thunder-storm. Once it starts raining, Jack proceeds to brutally kill the family.
Karen (Michelle Marrow) is only person to have ever survived being attacked by Jack. Now, Jack is obsessed with Karen and follows her from town to town. So, Karen decides to turn the tables and she starts following Jack. Except, of course, Jack was already following her so it would seem like for her to follow him, all she would really have to do would be turn around. But anyway, I guess the important thing is that Karen-and-Jack have one of those hunter/hunted connections.
Jack and Karen both end up in a new small town where Jack sets off on another murder spree while Karen hunts for him. She does this by teaming up with a seriously incompetent cop named Chris (Sam Skoryna). Unfortunately, all of Chris’s fellow officers are 1) convinced that Karen is the murderer and 2) kinda stupid. Will Karen be able to convince the cops that Jack is real? Will Jack continually manage to stand back up after taking more damage than anyone should, realistically, be able to take? And most importantly, will Lisa be able to sleep tonight?
What Worked?
Oh my God, this film should not have disturbed me as much as it did. Seriously, I’ve seen thousands of horror movies that all had better production values, better gore effects, and better acting. And yet, Basement Jack really made me paranoid. I think that’s because director Shelton does manage to create a legitimate feeling of dread that saturates every ludicrous frame of this movie. There is remarkably little humor in this film and, as opposed to a lot of slasher films, all of the victims here just come across as normal, likable people (as opposed to being slasher movie stereotypes).
Kaiser is a genuinely scary killer and Morrow makes for a sympathetic protagonist. She brings a lot of conviction to her role. Exploitation vet Lynn Lowry (remember her from the original Crazies and I Drink Your Blood?) plays Basement Jack’s domineering mother and wow, she is scary.
Now, I’m going to admit there’s one image in this film that I know is going to give me nightmares tonight. It’s of a policewoman who, after being gutted by Jack, is seen lying on the floor, trying to stuff her intestines back into her body and oh my God, I wish I hadn’t seen that because it really got to me. I’ve read several other reviews that have all criticized the CGI gore effects as looking fake. Maybe they do, I’m not really an expert on anatomy. All I know is that image of those intestines sprouting out across a twitching body; that image is trapped in my head. It’s something that I truly wish I hadn’t seen but I still have to list it as something that worked because film horror is supposed to leave the viewer uncomfortable.
What Didn’t Work:
Oh, trust me, a lot didn’t work. Like most slasher films, this one was riddled with a combination of plot holes and characters just acting as stupid as can be.
As our male lead, Sam Skoryna displayed all the charisma of a spilled intestine and, to be honest, most of the other actors gave performances that were fairly atrocious. For some reason, one of the film’s detectives is played by musician Billy Morrison and his English accent is just so jarringly out-of-place in the film’s middle American setting. (What makes the situation especially odd is that no one in the film ever comments on his accent. Trust me — I live in middle America. Hell, I’ll be really pretentious — I mean like Sasha Stone pretentious — and say that I am Middle America. No, actually, forget I said that. That sounds really stupid. Anyway, my point is that if you’re the only Englishman in town, people are going to remind you of that every chance they get.)
An attempt was made to give Basement Jack some backstory and to explain why he does what he does. And by that, I mean that this is one of those movies where the action comes to a sudden halt every few minutes juts so we can be told that a man,who hides in people’s basements and only kills when it’s raining, is mentally ill. Gee, filmmakers, thanks for clearing that up.
And finally (SPOILER!), I am so sick of seeing slasher movies that end with a close-up of the killer’s signature killing tool just so we can suddenly see the killer’s hand come out of nowhere and grab the weapon. I mean, is anyone ever surprised by this anymore? I guess, at one time, this seemed like a twist ending but today, it just comes across as being lazy. (END OF SPOILER!)
“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments:
Just like our heroine Karen, I usually try to flirt my way out of traffic tickets as well.
Through the Shattered Lens 