Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.6 “Friend of the Family/Affair on Demand/Just Another Pretty Face”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the cruise is not especially pleasant.

Episode 7.6 “Friend of the Family/Affair on Demand/Just Another Pretty Face”

(Dir by Ted Lange, originally aired on October 29th, 1983)

This week, Herbert (Gordon Jump) and Anita (Florence Henderson) are setting sail.  Herbert and Anita have been married for 25 years and Herbert has never cheated on Anita.  However, as he tells his old friend Isaac, he’s decided that it’s finally time for him to have his first affair.  He’s even decided to trick Anita into giving her approval.  Herbert is an insurance agent and he shows Anita an article that suggests that men who don’t cheat are more likely to succumb to a heart attack.  Anita is so concerned that she not only gives Herbert permission to cheat but she decides that maybe she should have an affair as well….

Needless to say, Anita knows exactly what Herbert was trying to do with the article and, once she’s played her practical joke, she is surprisingly forgiving.  I probably would not have been.  Then again, Herbert does promise to buy her a sable coat to make up for attempting to cheat on her.

Meanwhile, Jack (Robert Reed) is dating Leslie (Deborah Shelton), the much younger daughter of his best friend, Bill (Clint Walker).  Bill is not happy when he learns about this and orders Jack to stay away from his daughter.  Fortunately, Bill’s wife (Cathryn Damon) is able to show Bill the error of his ways.  Leslie gets to fulfil everyone’s fantasy of dating a tall, thin, neat, single 60 year-old with a mustache.

(Yes, Robert Reed and Florence Henderson do both appear in this episode but they only share one scene.  While getting breakfast out by the pool, they see each other and give each other a questioning look before shaking their heads.  Personally, I think this episode would have been a classic if it had featured Robert Reed as the husband trying to trick Florence Henderson into giving him permission to cheat.)

Finally, Deanna (Kim Lankford), the spoiled niece of one of the cruise line’s executives, boarded the boat and immediately developed a crush on Gopher.  I don’t blame her.  Gopher can be adorable when he wants to be.  But, as with the other two storylines, something just felt off here.  Gopher being such a passive character didn’t quite feel right for who the character has become by season 7.  This felt like a season 1 Gopher plot.

This episode didn’t do much for me, which is a surprise considering that it was directed by the usually dependable Ted Lange.  It was hard to sympathize with any of the passengers and the crew just seemed to be going through the motions.  Usually, I love The Love Boat but this episode didn’t work for me.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.13 “Midnight Waltz/Let Them Eat Cake”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, Roarke is in the director’s chair!

Episode 6.13 “Midnight Waltz/Let Them Eat Cake”

(Dir by Ricardo Montalban, originally aired on February 12th, 1983)

Adele Anthony (Adrienne Barbeau) is a hard-working waitress whose fantasy is to be a queen for the weekend.  Mr. Roarke asks her if there’s a country that she would like to rule over.  Adele shrugs and says that she’s always liked France.  Mr. Roarke has her shoot an arrow and suddenly, Adele Anthony is …. MARIE ANTOINETTE!

Yes, the same Marie Antoinette who was beheaded during the French Revolution.

Like, seriously, Mr. Roarke ….. she couldn’t have been any other queen?  I’m not really sure why Mr. Roarke decided to do this to Adele, who is probably about a saintly a guest as has ever visited Fantasy Island.  Occasionally, Roarke will use the fantasies to teach someone a lesson but Adele really hasn’t done anything to justify being beheaded.

Fortunately, Adele isn’t beheaded.  It turns out that Marie Antoinette was saved from the guillotine by Francois (Patrick Wayne), a leader of the revolution who was shocked to discover that the Queen was not as heartless as he had been led to believe and that she had actually been framed by her husband, Louis (James Coco) and Louis’s mistress, Baroness La Rue (Cathryn Damon).  Indeed, all Marie Antoinette did was suggest that the cake that the royals were going to have for desert should be given to the citizens, along with a lot of other food.  Louis spread the story that Marie Antoinette had said, “Let them eat cake.”

So, Marie Antoinette (and Adele) survives!  Meanwhile, Louis is dragged off to be beheaded.  Except, it turns out that Louis was just having a fantasy as well.  Louis is actually Mr. Willaker, who runs the Fantasy Island car towing service.  In lieu of paying him for his services, Roarke gave him a fantasy in which he was beheaded.  The episode ends with Willaker towing away Tattoo’s car.

Meanwhile, John Cook (Lew Ayres) is a widower who wants to have one last dance with his wife, Carol (played, in ghost form, by Rosemary DeCamp).  However, John meets and falls in love with Martha Wilson (Jane Wyatt) and instead dances with her.  Carol approves, saying that she doesn’t want John to spend the rest of his days in mourning.  It’s a pretty simple fantasy but you know what?  It still brought tears to my eyes and I still smiled at the end of it.  A lot of that is due to the Lew Ayres, one of the great actors of Golden Age Hollywood.  Ayres gives such a sincere and downright sweet performance that it’s impossible not to get swept up in his fantasy.

This was a good episode.  I’m still not sure that Adele needed to become Marie Antoinette but the last dance fantasy made up for a lot.  It was just so sweet!  This was the second (and last) episode of the series to be directed by Ricardo Montalban and he did a great job.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.4 “The Man Who Loved Women / A Different Girl / Oh, My Aching Brother”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard!

Episode 2.4 “The Man Who Loved Women / A Different Girl / Oh, My Aching Brother”

(Dir by Allen Baron, originally aired on September 30th, 1978)

This week’s cruise is all about deception …. and love!

For instance, Joe (Marty Ingels) and Harold Nash (Sonny Bono) are two brothers who thrive on deception.  Harold specializes in pretending to get injured.  Joe specializes in threatening to sue until the brothers get paid off.  Apparently, it’s a scheme that works well for them, though Joe seems to be a lot more enthusiastic about it than Harold.  In fact, Harold seems to be a nice guy who mostly just wants to enjoy the cruise and flirt with another passenger, Rita (Judy Landers).  Still, Joe insists that Harold pretend to hurt his back so Harold takes a dramatic fall on the shuffleboard course.

Of course, the crew can spot a fake injury from miles away.  For once, Doc Bricker actually does his job and announces that, despite all of his yelling and groaning, there does not appear to be anything wrong with Harold’s back.  Still, if Harold goes through the entire cruise without walking, the Pacific Princess will probably pay a settlement.  Joe’s happy about that.  Harold’s unhappy because he wants to get up and walk over to Rita’s cabin.  In the end, it is Harold’s love for Rita that defeats the scheme.  When he sees Rita actually trip and take a fall, Harold can’t stop himself from jumping out of his wheelchair to help her.  Awwwwwww!

This storyline was dumb but kind of sweet.  Sonny Bono was not a particularly good actor but there was something rather genuine about his chemistry with Judy Landers.

Meanwhile, the Captain Stubing’s godson, Dave Stanton (Grant Goodeve), is taking the cruise with his wife, Laura (Bess Armstrong).  Though they’ve been married for two years, they are only now getting to take their honeymoon.  (Dave was in the army and Laura was caring for her terminally ill mother.)  During the trip, they discover that they’ve both changed over the past two years.  Laura’s more independent now.  Plus, she had an affair while  Dave was gone.  Dave gets pretty upset but Captain Stubing asks Dave if he can really say that he’s never cheated on Laura.  Dave admits that he cheated on her too.  Now that they know that they’re both cheaters, Dave and Laura’s marriage is strong than ever!

This storyline was defeated by the fact that neither Dave nor Laura were particularly sympathetic characters.  At one point, Dave actually says that his cheating was different from Laura’s cheating because he’s a guy and she’s a woman.  AGCK!  Probably the most interesting part of this story is that it gave Stubing a chance to talk about why his own marriage fell apart.  This show has often hinted that there is a lot of darkness and trauma in Stubing’s past and Gavin MacLeod always brings a lot of sincerity to the scenes where the captain admits that he has regrets.

Finally, Charlotte (Cathryn Damon), Bonnie (Jo Ann Pflug), and Anita (Brett Sommers) are three divorcees who take the cruise together.  All three of them end up meeting a man.  Charlotte meets a man named Alvin, who she decides to call him by his middle name, “Cornelius.”  Bonnie meets a man who she calls Vinny.  Anita meets a man who she calls by his last name, “McNair.”  What they don’t know is that all of them have met the same man, Alvin Cornelius McNair (David Doyle).  Alvin goes out with all three of the women but he starts to feel guilty when he realizes that they’re all cabinmates.  However, Charlotte, Bonnie, and Anita tell him that it doesn’t matter to them because Alvin was always honest with them and didn’t try to manipulate any of them.  Awwwww!  I liked this story.  Damon, Pflug, and Sommers were believable as old friends and Doyle was likable as Alvin.

This was actually a pretty enjoyable episode.  It may not have been perfect but it was a pleasant trip.