Back to School Part II #22: Three O’Clock High (dir by Phil Joanou)


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For the next entry in my back to school series of reviews, I want to say a few words about the 1987 comedy, Three O’Clock High.

I have no idea how Three O’Clock High did when it was originally released into theaters.  I know, I know — I could just look it up on Wikipedia or the imdb but I’m lazy and, besides, I hate that whole idea that box office success is somehow synonymous with quality.  That said, Three O’Clock High is one of those films that seems to be in a permanent cable rotation (seriously, it always seems to be playing somewhere and there’s always a few people on twitter talking about how excited they are about coming across it) and I kind of hope that it did well when it was originally released.  It’s an entertaining and genuinely funny little high school comedy.

Three O’Clock High tells the story of Jerry (Casey Siemaszko).  Jerry is a high school student, one of those kids who is a bit anonymous.  He’s kind of a nerd but so much of a nerd that he painfully sticks out of the crowd at this school.

You know who does stick out of the crowd?  Buddy Revell (Richard Tyson).  Buddy is the new kid at school.  He’s a big, hulking, and rather intimidating figure and he comes with quite a fearsome repuations.  All anyone can talk about are the stories that they’ve heard about Buddy’s dangerous past.  The one thing that the rumors all have in common is that Buddy does not like to be touched.  In fact, it appears that his aversion to being touched has made him the most dangerous high school student in the country.

The first hour of Jerry’s school day is spent working at the school newspaper and, of course, his teacher has a bright idea.  Why not welcome Buddy to the school by interviewing him!?  Sure, why not!?  Everyone loves to be interviewed!  And why not get Jerry to do the interview?

The problem is that Buddy doesn’t want to be interviewed.  And, once he realizes that Buddy not only doesn’t want to talk to him but is actually getting rather annoyed with him (this may be because Jerry chooses to approach Buddy in the boy’s bathroom), Jerry asks Buddy to forget that he even bothered him and then reaches over and punches him on the arm.

Of course, this leads to Buddy announcing that he and Jerry are going to have a fight.  At 3 pm.  In the school parking lot…

The rest of the film plays out like a surrealistic, teen-centered parody of High Noon, with Jerry desperately trying to figure out a way to avoid the fight.  He tries to frame Buddy by placing a switchblade in his locker, just to have Buddy use the knife to disable his car, effectively trapping Jerry at the school.  He tries to help Buddy cheat on a test.  He tries to get the principal to kick him out of school.  He even tries bribery!

But ultimately, three o’clock arrives and Jerry must face his destiny…

Three O’Clock High is cheerfully cartoonish and rather entertaining little film.  Director Phil Joanou pays homage to a countless number of other films, often framing the high school action like a Spaghetti western stand-off and, when the final fight arrives, it’s just as wonderfully over-the-top and silly as you could hope for.  Casey Siemaszko, who was also in Secret Admirer, is perfectly cast as Jerry and Richard Tyson is both funny and intimidating as Buddy.  Meanwhile, ineffectual adults are played by everyone from Philip Baker Hall to Jeffrey Tambor to Mitch Pileggi.  There’s a not a subtle moment to be found in Three O’Clock High but the relentless stylization definitely works to the film’s advantage.

I’d keep an eye out for the next time that Three O’Clock High shows up on Showtime.  It’s an entertaining film about teens doing what teens have to do.

Horror on the Lens: He Knows You’re Alone (dir by Armand Mastroianni)


For today’s Horror on The Lens, we present 1980’s He Knows You’re Alone!

He Knows You’re Alone is an old school slasher film, which means that it’s basically about one stalking killer and a bunch of people who have absolutely no common sense.  The gimmick here is that the slasher is stalks young brides-to-be.  Admittedly, this is all pretty standard stuff, though the film does have a clever opening and features some good cinematography and —

OH MY GOD, IS THAT TOM HANKS!?

Yes, He Knows You’re Alone is the debut film of Tom Hanks and he’s so young in this film that he still has a chin.  He plays a college student named Eliot.  Nowadays, He Knows You’re Alone is usually described as “starring Tom Hanks” but actually, Tom’s role is pretty small.  But he’s still probably the most likable person in the film.

Anyway, He Knows You’re Alone is an above average slasher flick and it’s definitely not safe for work so stop watching movies while on the clock!  Wait until you get home to enjoy He Knows You’re Alone!

 

The Daily Horror Grindhouse: Savage Weekend (dir by David Paulsen)


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Filmed in 1976 but not released until 1979, Savage Weekend is the story of a brave boom mic that takes a trip to upstate New York for the weekend and ends up witnessing a lot of decadent behavior and, eventually, a few gruesome murders.  Sadly, the brave little boom mic apparently has no social skills because everyone pretends like they don’t see it, even though it shows up a few dozen times, always floating at the top of the screen.

It’s also the story of Otis (William Sanderson), a local redneck (I’ve never been to upstate New York but I still find it amusing how movies always portray it as being a step away from Deliverance country) who spends his time talking to his father’s gravestone.  Apparently, when Otis was younger, he found out his girlfriend was cheating on him so he branded her with an H.  Why an H?  Because, we’re told, Otis doesn’t know how to spell whore.

Well, okay then…

Actually, if you’ve watched any number of these type of films, you’ll immediately recognize William Sanderson.  Sanderson played a countless number of backwoods weirdos and he always did a pretty good job.  (He also played the poignantly sympathetic J.F. Sebastian in Blade Runner.)  Interestingly enough, in real life, Sanderson has a law degree.

Savage Weekend, incidentally, has a brilliant opening.  After running through the woods, a woman finds herself cornered by Otis.  As Otis approaches her, he gives her a strange little half-smile.  It’s super creepy and scary and the rest of the film never lives up to it.

That said, Savage Weekend is an interesting film, even if it’s not a particularly good one.  I’m not sure if it’s intentional or if it’s a happy byproduct of the filmmaker’s general incompetence but Savage Weekend has a truly surreal feel to it.  It moves at a deliberate, almost dream-like pace.  Characters appear and then vanish for lengthy periods of time.  Plot points are raised and then abandoned.  As a result of an inconsistent script, much is hinted at without ever being truly revealed.  It makes for a very odd viewing experience.

Plotwise, it’s your standard slasher film.  A group of people find themselves in an isolated location and are picked off, one-by-one, by a masked killer.  Whereas most slasher films feature teenage victims, Savage Weekend is distinguished by the fact that all of the victims are adults and they’re all way too old and successful to justify continually making the type of stupid decisions necessary for a slasher movie to work.  Two of them, Robert (Jim Doerr) and Jay (Devin Goldenberg), are stockbrokers.  Marie (Marilyn Hamlin) is the ex-wife of the Governor of New York’s press secretary.  (At one point, someone mentions that the governor was corrupt and apparently committed suicide.  It’s one of those plot points that comes out of nowhere.)  Meanwhile, Marie’s sister, Shirley (Caitlin O’Heany), is accompanied by her best friend, Nicky (Christopher Allport).  Nicky is flamboyantly gay and, shortly after being introduced, he single-handedly beats up three rednecks and then dramatically announced, “I was raised in the Bronx!”

Since the first murder doesn’t take place until an hour into the film, we spend more time than usual getting to know our victims but none of them behave in any sort of consistent manner, which adds to the film’s dreamlike feel.  Nicky clutches a barbed wire fence while watching Shirley fool around with Jay.  Marie appears to be on the verge of touching herself while listening to the story about Otis branding his girlfriend.  Later, a good deal of screen time is devoted to Marie and another redneck milking a cow, with the camera zooming in on the milk shooting out of the udders.  While being stalked by the killer, Nicky puts on makeup while a lingerie-clad Shirley dances through the house while tango music plays on the soundtrack.

It all just feels very odd and strangely paced, as if huge chunks of the script were either not filmed or left on the editing room floor.  But that oddness (along with the boom mic) is exactly what makes Savage Weekend an interesting movie.