by Erin Nicole
Spooky Season is here!
Artwork of the Day: The Spooky Season Is Here
“Bloody Mary” (Dir/Writer Mostafa Nohekhan) Short Film Review By Case Wright
Happy Horrorthon! I’m writing this in July because I enjoy it, not this particular short- this short is garbage trash. It got 1.2 Million views and I’m certain at least 3 of those views were On Purpose! Mustafa Nohekhan should be featured on the Real Men of Genius ad campaign. Here’s to you Mr. Super Low-Budget Horror Film Maker [sung]. It’s hard to make a movie when all you have is your iPhone, Party City makeup, and some leftover jello for blood from your Sunday picnic, but you showed them- YOU SHOWED THEM ALL! Here’s to you – God of the bloody goop and unpaid crew. Mr. Super Low-Budget Horror Film Maker because when your critics said that this film couldn’t and shouldn’t be done. You responded, “I can do it!” They responded, “But why?”
This short does have a beginning, middle, and an end. The protagonist, an actress, says bloody mary in a mirror and is killed by “Mary” between takes. The acting is worthy of the finest 7th grade home movies. It has a we’ve got an iPhone let’s make a movie vibe. If you don’t want to take my word for it and wish to watch this piece of cinema- Here is the link:
Happy Horrorthon!
Music Film Review: Take It Or Leave It (dir by Dave Robinson)
I have Jeff to thank for introducing me to the British ska band Madness. The first Madness song that he played for me was Our House, which was the band’s biggest hit in America. I liked the song, so much that I found myself humming it incessantly after first listening to it. Perhaps to get to me hum something else, Jeff then sent me a playlist including Night Boat To Cairo, The Prince, One Step Beyond, It Must Have Been Love, Michael Caine, Driving In My Car, Grey Day, and a host of other songs. It was not only my introduction to Madness but also my introduction to two-tone ska in general. I was quickly hooked.
Here in America, Madness is often incorrectly described as being a one hit wonder. While it is true that Our House was Madness’s biggest hit in America, it’s also true that, ever since the late 70s, Madness had been hugely successful in their native UK, spending 214 weeks on the UK Singles Charts and essentially becoming a bit of a cultural institution. They’ve had 16 singles reach the UK top ten and, somewhat charmingly, the band that formed in 1976 is still largely together.
Ever since the Beatles made A Hard Day’s Night, it’s been almost a rule that almost any successful British band should make a movie. 1981’s Take It Or Leave It is the Madness movie. Admittedly, it’s not a film with a great reputation. The members of the band have themselves described the film as being a bit amateurish and, as I watched the film, I couldn’t help but notice that lead singer Suggs always seemed to be struggling not to look straight at the camera when delivering his lines. Watching the film, it was obvious that the members of Madness were better musicians than actors. It’s interesting to consider that one of the things that makes Madness such an amazing band is that every member comes across as being a star. Watching them perform in their music videos, you get the feeling that you’re watching a group of seven extroverts having the time of their lives. And yet, even though the film’s director also directed the majority of the band’s videos, the members of the band still seemed to be unsure how to play themselves in Take It Or Leave It. It wasn’t just Suggs looking at the camera. It was also the other members of the band, often looking down at the floor when they had to deliver their lines or speaking so softly that it was a struggle to actually hear what they were saying.
The film attempts to tell the story of Madness, from the early days of Chris Foreman, Lee Thompson, and Mike Barson playing in a living room to the full band heading out on their international tour. Along the way, there’s arguments about the band’s musical direction, frequent personnel changes, and Suggs becoming the lead singer, leaving, and then becoming the singer again. The drama is all very lowkey. It’s perhaps a bit too lowkey. A scene where one of the members of the band attacks a drummer seems to come out of nowhere because the members of the band all just come across as being too mellow and friendly to really attack anyone.
Here’s the thing, though. None of that mattered. The members of the band were all so likable that it really didn’t matter that they weren’t particularly good actors. The scenes of the band performing were full of so much energy and joy that it more than made up for the parts of the film that dragged. Watching the band perform One Step Beyond in a pub, it’s impossible not to get pulled into the excitement. Even the use of slow motion during a performance of Night Boat To Cairo works because it allows us to watch a group of young men who are obviously having the best night of their lives. It’s moments like those that make life worth it. It’s moments like those that make you love a band like Madness.
In the end, Take It Or Leave It is a film that will best be appreciated by people who already like the band. It may not work as a drama but, as a celebration of music and performance, it’s the nutsiest sound around.
Music Video of the Day: Shining Love by Odin (1985, directed by ????)
Odin was one of the many hair metal bands that tried to make it big in the 80s. They were a part of the same L.A. scene that launched everyone from Poison to Guns ‘N’ Roses to Mötley Crüe. Today, they are probably best-remembered for being prominently featured in the 1988 documentary, The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years. While bands like Poison and RATT and musicians like Ozzy Osbourne appeared in the documentary as battle-weary veterans, Odin was meant to represent the up-and-coming band that was on the verge of breaking through. This video came out a few years before Odin was featured in Decline.
Who directed this video? I’m not sure. I even resorted to asking Google A.I. Google A.I. replied with:
Mark Romanek is a pretty well-known director so if he started out his career directing videos for Odin, that would be a pretty big deal. However, every list of credits that I could find for Romanek online listed neither Odin nor this video. The video was released in 1985. Both Wikipedia and the IMDb list Romanek’s first music video as being 1986’s Sweet Bird of Truth by The The. I could be wrong but I’m 99.9% certain that Mark Romanek did not direct this video.
Odin never did break through and broke up shortly after the release of the documentary. (They may have gotten more screentime then most of the veterans but what most people remembered from that movie was Ozzy making breakfast and Chris Holmes drinking beer.) Maybe one reason they didn’t really break through is because, according to this video, their drummer could blow people up just by looking at them. It’s not a good idea to blow up your own fans.
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.22 “Rumpelstiltskin”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
This week, the second season ends.
Episode 2.22 “Rumpelstiltskin”
(Dir by John B. Moranville, originally aired on April 20th, 1997)
Rumpelstiltskin. That’s the nickname that FBI agent Tim Stone (David Lee Smith) has given to expert counterfeiter Laszlo Parkes (Josh Richman). Laszlo and his three associates — Sheila (Heidi Lenhart, who was Jenny Garrison on California Dreams), Lana (Diana Barrington), and Bree (Jennifer Sky) — are passing the fake money all around Santa Monica. Laszlo is planning on scoring a big drug deal. Meanwhile, Bree and her boyfriend (Tim Griffin) are planning on taking out Laszlo.
Agent Stone requests that Cory and Chris be assigned to work with him. It soon become apparent that Stone has more in mind than just work. Chris likes Stone but Stone like Cory. When Chris find out that Stone and Cory slept together, she throws a fit. I’ve noticed that Chris really only has to modes on Pacific Blue. Either she’s disturbingly robotic and unconcerned with civil liberties or she’s getting mad about something and threatening to go all-Fatal Attraction on somebody. I’ve also noticed that the show’s writers are incapable of imagining Chris or Cory in a situation where they don’t end up falling for whoever they’re working with.
The funniest part of this episode was when word came in of a shoot-out so all the cops jumped on their bicycles and rode over to the scene. Seriously, a guy was taking fire and instead of jumping in a car and speeding over there, everyone decided to ride their bicycles. Somehow, the bike cops were able to take down the mob and also arrest Laszlo. I always wonder how they get people to the jail after they arrest them. Do they chain them to the bicycle or something?
After the shoot out, Tim and Cory enjoyed a romantic sunset and Tim promised that he would return soon.
And so ended the second season!
Wow, the second season sucked. Here we are, about to start season 3, and I’m still struggling to tell everyone apart. Chris and Cory still don’t have a personality. Everyone still looks silly on their bicycles. This show grows more pointless with each episode.
Next week …. we’ll start season 3!
It’s Almost Time For The Shattered Lens’s 14th Annual Horrorthon!
Put on your dancing shoes because, in just a few hours, it will be the first day of October!
If things have been a little bit more quiet than usual here at the Shattered Lens Bunker, it’s because we’ve been busy getting ready for our 14th Annual Horrorthon! That’s right, this is the time of year when the Shattered Lens devotes itself to my favorite genre …. horror!
This is my favorite time of year!
The tricks and the treats begin in just another few hours! So, sit back, have some popcorn, and get ready for the greatest 31 days of the year!
Brad reviews KARATE KID: LEGENDS (2025), starring Jackie Chan and Ralph Macchio!
I’m a huge fan of the 1984 film, THE KARATE KID. The stars aligned perfectly for my lifelong love affair. I was 10 or 11 years old, and my family had recently purchased our first VCR when the movie was released on VHS tape. I’ll never forget that first viewing. It was one of the most exhilarating films I had ever watched, and it’s fair to say that I literally wanted to be the karate kid. I was also smitten with Elizabeth Shue as the kid’s girlfriend, “Ali with an I!” I’m still infatuated with her to this day. I watched THE KARATE KID PART II (1986) and THE KARATE KID PART III (1989) at the movie theater, especially enjoying Part II, although I did miss the beautiful Ali. For a short, skinny guy from Toad Suck, Arkansas, the story of a skinny kid getting the best of the much stronger bullies was irresistible to me. The strong relationship between Daniel (Ralph Macchio) and Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita) gives the stories so much heart, which makes the rousing finales even more emotionally satisfying. I didn’t care so much for THE NEXT KARATE KID (1994) where Hillary Swank stepped in as the kid. Even with the return of Mr. Miyagi, I wasn’t very interested in a movie that didn’t feature the character of Daniel LaRusso.
After being away for sixteen years, THE KARATE KID was given new life in 2010 when it was rebooted with Jackie Chan as the martial arts master and Jaden Smith as his bullied student. I wasn’t that interested in watching it due to the presence of Jaden Smith, but I ended up watching it because I love Jackie Chan. It didn’t make a lasting impact on me, but I must admit that I did end up enjoying the film. Then when the T.V. series COBRA KAI came out in 2018 with William Zabka and Ralph Macchio in the leads, I was immediately taken back to my teenage years, and I loved it all over again. I especially loved how the series brought back so many of the characters from the first three movies, including my beloved Ali! The series paid homage to the original 80’s films, which satisfied old farts like me, while introducing a bunch of new teenagers and drama that brought in a whole new audience. I was so happy the “karate kid” world was back in my life.
Which brings us to KARATE KID: LEGENDS (2025), a movie that blends the world of the original KARATE KID and COBRA KAI, with Mr. Miyagi and Daniel LaRusso, with the world created in the KARATE KID reboot starring Jackie Chan as Master Han. When I first saw the trailer for “Legends” that features LaRusso and Master Han working together to train the young Li Fong, I knew it was a movie I wanted to see. The plot is nothing new as kung fu prodigy Fong (Ben Wang), haunted by his brother’s tragic death, relocates from Beijing to New York City with his mom (Ming-Na Wen). Forbidden from fighting by his protective mother, Li meets and starts falling for his classmate Mia (Sadie Stanley). Unfortunately for Li, Mia’s ex-boyfriend turns out to be a badass karate bully named Conor (Aramis Knight), who proceeds to demonstrate his skills with fists to Fong’s face and kicks to Fong’s torso. With the contrived help of a wise-cracking Master Han and an emotionally earnest Sensei LaRusso, Fong enters the “5 Boroughs Fighting Tournament” to settle the score with Conor and prove that he’s all the man that Mia will ever need.
I liked KARATE KID: LEGENDS. The pure nostalgia of watching Daniel LaRusso show his love for Mr. Miyagi by sharing the master’s teachings with Li Fong is quite satisfying for me. Adding to that feel-good vibe is the opportunity to see Ralph Macchio and Jackie Chan working together on screen. The legendary Chan may be over 70 years old, but he’s still fun and energetic. And Ralph Macchio still seems to be defying the aging process. At 63 years of age when filming KARATE KID: LEGENDS, Macchio is twelve years older than Pat Morita was when he starred as Mr. Miyagi in the original 1984 film. That fact is amazing to me. And the familiar storyline of an underdog standing up to a bully is engaging no matter how many times we’ve seen it before. With fight choreography that’s both acrobatic and bone-crunching at times, as well as a running time of just over an hour and a half, director Jonathan Entwistle delivers a fast, easy-to-watch, and entertaining film. With that said, KARATE KID: LEGENDS does have some issues. Primarily, I wanted more Chan and Macchio. A lot of the film’s run-time focuses on Li Fong’s move to New York, his blossoming relationship with Mia (and her dad), his troubles at school and with the bully, as well as the tragedy of his brother. By the time Chan and Macchio start training him, a big part of the movie is over. Since they’re the main reason I wanted to watch the film, that was a little disappointing. Also, the relationship between Mr. Miyagi and Daniel-san is so important in the original films, but this movie misses that part completely between Li Fong and either of his teachers, Master Han or Sensei LaRusso. Without an emotional connection being created in this film, the overall impact is blunted for new viewers who aren’t bringing in 40 years of nostalgia with them.
Overall, I’m happy I spent an hour and a half of my life revisiting the world of THE KARATE KID. This film itself may not bring in a lot of new fans, but it offers tons of fan service to old timers like me.
Lisa Marie’s Oscar Predictions For September
As September comes to a close, the Oscar picture is clearing up a bit. The early word on some films is very strong. The new Paul Thomas Anderson film is being massively hyped online, though I get a Killers of the Flower Moon/Brutalist vibe from a lot of the coverage. Meanwhile, films that were once seen as surefire contenders are falling to the wayside.
And, with that inspiring introduction out of the way, here are my predictions for September.
Click here for my April and May and June and July and August predictions!
Best Picture
Hamnet
Jay Kelly
Marty Supreme
One Battle After Another
The Secret Agent
Sentimental Value
Sinners
The Smashing Machine
Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere
Wicked For Good
Best Director
Paul Thomas Anderson for One Battle After Another
Ryan Coogler for Sinners
Benny Safdie for The Smashing Machine
Joachim Trier for Sentimental Value
Chloe Zhao for Hamnet
Best Actor
Daniel Day-Lewis in Anemone
Leonard Di Caprio in One Battle After Another
Dwayne Johnson in The Smashing Machine
Wagner Moura in The Secret Agent
Jeremy Allen White in Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere
Best Actress
Jessie Buckley in Hamnet
Cynthia Erivo in Wicked For Good
Jennifer Lawrence in Die My Love
Renate Reinsve in Sentimental Valure
Julia Roberts in After The Hunt
Best Supporting Actor
Paul Mescal in Hamnet
Sean Penn in One Battle After Another
Adam Sandler in Jay Kelly
Stellan Skarsgard in Sentimental Value
Jeremy Strong in Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere
Best Supporting Actress
Emily Blunt in The Smashing Machine
Zooey Deutch in Nouvelle Vague
Elle Fanning in Sentimental Value
Ariana Grande in Wicked For Good
Emily Watson in Hamnet
Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.12 “The High Cost of Loving/To Fly With Eagles”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.
The Island just hasn’t been the same without Tattoo.
Episode 7.12 “The High Cost Of Loving/To Fly With Eagles”
(Dir by Jerome Courtland, originally aired on January 21st, 1984)
Craig Bradshaw (Doug McClure) is an aging pilot and daredevil who comes to the Island because he wants to compete in one final competition before he gets too old to keep going up in the air. His girlfriend (Christine Belford) doesn’t want him to keep risking his life. In the end, Craig finally comes to peace with the idea of getting older and he also gets engaged.
This fantasy felt pretty familiar. A lot of people have come to the Island over the years with the hope of winning one final competition. Actually, that’s probably one of the more realistic recurring fantasies that this show employs. Who wouldn’t want one last chance to win? If I went to Fantasy Island, I’d probably want to return to my high school years and compete in another speech and debate or drama competition. As for this specific fantasy, it’s always difficult for me to take Doug McClure seriously and this episode was no different.
As for the other fantasy …. yeesh! Lynn Redgrave plays Kristen Robbins, a former advertising exec who was fired when she refused her boss’s sexual advances. Instead of suing the guy, Kristen comes to Fantasy Island and tells Mr. Roarke that her fantasy is to fall in love and get married and start a family because that means she will never be sexually harassed again. (For a 40-something veteran of the advertising world, Kristen is incredibly naive.)
Kristen meets Paul Horner (Alex Cord) and it’s love at first sight. Paul is actually on the Island to interview Kristen for a job with his firm but instead, they have a night of passion. The next morning, Paul tells Kristen that, before they had sex, he recommended her for a job in which she would be working with him in Hawaii!
Kristen asks Roarke to change her fantasy. She now wants to get that job and work in Hawaii. Roarke reluctantly agrees. Kristen does get the job but the company decides that Kristen will be their sole representative in Hawaii and Paul will remain in New York. Kristen asks Mr. Roarke to change her fantasy once again. She doesn’t want the job, she just wants Paul. (Keep in mind that she’s known for Paul for one day.) Paul overhears and pretends to be a cad so that Kristen will take the job.
Now convinced that Paul is a compulsive womanizer, Kristen tells Roarke to change her fantasy back to taking the job. Roarke tells Kristen she needs to make up her own damn mind and then tells her that Paul was only pretending to be a womanizing jerk. In the end, Kristen decides to take the job and marry Paul. Paul decides to continue working in New York. As they leave the Island, they assure Mr. Roarke that they’ll make it work.
Yeah, good luck with that.
This fantasy irked me. Kristen lost her job because she refuses to sleep with her boss. I would rather have seen her get a revenge fantasy than a love fantasy. At the very least, Roarke could have introduced her to a good lawyer. Instead, we got a fantasy in which the main theme was that women are irresponsible and can’t make up their own mind.
This was not my favorite trip to the Island.
Song of the Day: Don’t Bring Me Down by ELO
The nights are indeed about to crazy around here, with October approaching. In my office, over the next 31 days, this song will be playing in the background, a reminder to keep dancing until the month comes to an end.
Through the Shattered Lens