Hard-Traveling Hawkeye And Red Wolf : “Occupy Avengers” #1

Posted on November 6, 2016 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Let’s be brutally honest — Marvel hasn’t really known what to to with the character of Hawkeye since Matt Fraction and David Aja left the building. Their so-called “Hawkguy” run had it share of critics, to be sure, but by and large readers — myself included — loved the idea of Clint Barton as a street-level “man of the people” hero, and his next series couldn’t duplicate the prior one’s success, eventually succumbing to the twin pressures of both creative/editorial aimlessness and low sales. Another new monthly Hawkeye book is in the works — no shock there — but this one will feature Kate Bishop in the title role, with our guy Clint now at loose ends (and in less than a “good space” mentally) following his murder of Bruce Banner (yes, you read that right) in the pages of Civil War II. Enter writer David F. Walker, penciler…

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People of Earth – Pilot, Season 1, Episode 1 – Review by

Posted on November 5, 2016 by casewright

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People of Earth is the amazingly quick-witted and fast paced comedy show that you better watch or ALL of the unicorns will die… especially the cute baby unicorns- they’ll die first!

I was primed to like this show more than a 50% discount on Blue Jays tickets. The comedy cast is overflowing with known national treasures: Wyatt Cynac, Ana Gasteyer, Brian Huskey, and Oscar Nunez, but is blessed with new talent who have quick comedic timing that matches perfectly with the snappy dialogue. In short, this is NOT a show to knit to, tweet during, or otherwise be distracted by when watching; so, take your adderall and focus because this show is NO SHIT LEGIT! SIDE NOTE: I’m seriously thinking about getting on the adderall bandwagon; weight loss inducing intellectual steroids sound pretty fucking awesome to me!

The pilot begins with Ozzie (Wyatt Cynac) having a nightmare about hitting a deer in Beacon, New York with a deer behind him saying, “Don’t get weird, but you’re about to hit a deer” and he wakes in a sweat. He’s on assignment to Beacon to investigate a UFO Abductee support group.

At the support group, we learn that there are three types of Aliens: Reptilians, Whites (who look like Lord of the Rings Elf People), and Greys (who look like scrotums). Also, we learn that the jokes fly fast. The group therapy scenes are the heart of the sitcom. The jokes play off of one another brilliantly!

Ozzie finishes his alien support group article and goes to his boss Jonathan Walsh (Michael Cassidy) in New York City who basically runs a Buzzfeedish clickbait listicle mill. His boss doesn’t get humor and speaks in business school-ease at all times like a young Mitt Romney. Jonathan wants Ozzie to return Upstate to Beacon and learn more about the people in the support group.

Upon returning to Beacon, Ozzie discovers that the abductees all have boring jobs or don’t work. Ozzie learns about the abductions and that their stories are similar. However, there are two people who don’t share abduction stories: the group leader Gina and Gerry who has never made contact with an alien, but wishes that he did. There have been some reviewers who think this points to these two or either being aliens, but I don’t know or care because their delivery is fucking great and I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole. Ozzie realizes that his nightmares match the stories that he is hearing.

Ozzie believes that HE was abducted. Ozzie becomes furious when he discovers that his boss published his draft article about the group with their REAL names, causing Ozzie to quit his job with Buzzfeedish. He decides to explore his abduction memories and takes a job in Beacon at the local paper.

The show ends with us learning that Jonathan is a Reptilian – DUN DUN DUN.

ROLL HILARIOUS CREDITS!

There are aliens on the mothership above earth being hysterical. The funniest and snarkiest alien is the scrotum looking whom I shall call Scroty on the show he’s named Jeff, but Scroty is more apt.

This show is THE funniest show on television. Period. Remember, if you don’t watch, ALL the unicorns will die!

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Rebooted, Relaunched, Or Just Plain Rehashed? “Vigilante : Southland” #1

Posted on November 1, 2016 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Trash Film Guru

In the DC Universe, the name “Vigilante” doesn’t signify a specific character so much as it does a handle : sure, Batman, Nightwing, and the like are vigilantes by trade, but the first person to specifically call himself Vigilante was the country-singing “motorcycle cowboy” Greg Saunders all the way back in 1941, and arguably the most well-known costumed crimefighter who adopted the title was district attorney Adrian Chase, a creation of Marv Wolfman and George Perez who took on bad guys who got off the in the courtroom during his off-hours beginning in 1982 and ending, in a stellar moment of inspiration for youthful readers everywhere, with his suicide several years later. Now, though, there’s a new bolo-swinging masked adventurer who’s apparently cut from the Chase cloth : meet failed- NBA-draft-choice-turned-college-campus-maintenance-man Donny Fairchild, who’s making his debut in the pages of Vigilante : Southland #1 just in time for

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Channel Zero, “Want to see something cool?” Season 1, Episode 3; ALT Title: Like cool things, watch something else.

Posted on October 30, 2016 by casewright

There are some shows like Stranger Things, Lonesome Dove, or True Detective whose audacious vision is pushed ever forward by the rugged genius of its writing and directing staff, Channel Zero is NOT that show.

On its best day, Channel Zero is burgers and fries, but on its worst days, Channel Zero is like stale bread that has become horribly crunchy, difficult to digest, and every bite reveals unending torpor. This particular episode is not terrible just for this series, but might be the the worst episode of television. Because it is becoming ever more awful, it could get to be fun to watch like an Ed Wood film. Since it has some mediocre episodes, it’s not Halloween Resurrection levels of crap overall, but it was awful. There was a quasi-torture scene without suspense, a now hand sucking tooth-monster, and not much else.

Gary takes Mike to a house under renovation. It turns out that Gary wanted it to be his dream house, but it didn’t work out for him. Gary ties up Mike and questions him about the dead kids from yesteryear and Gary gets visitors: Tim and Brenda. They want to beat Mike up to find out why Mike killed their friends and relatives – in the most slow moving way possible. Mike keeps saying that it’s the Candle Cove show…blah blah blah. At one point, Tim pulls a gun and fails to create any suspense….at all, but Mike does gets shot in the arm …. off camera.

Jessica is talking to Mike’s Mom -MM. She explains that she had an emotional affair with Mike and then he cut it off. She figures out Mike is being held at their never to have dream house and heads over there with Deputy Amy and MM. They stop Tim from killing Mike and Deputy Amy takes Gary’s gun, but doesn’t seem to arrest him. Why do that? It could have raised the stakes, led to a struggle, or anything.

Flashback- Eddie lures the Bully Kid to the crow’s nest and uses the Tooth Monster mojo to get the Bully Kid to jump off a cliff.

Tim goes into the woods and is killed and buried by random kids. This happens almost entirely offscreen because this show wouldn’t want to interfere with a bathroom break. If you have the stomach flu, are a compulsive knitter, or need to take smoke breaks, this is the show for you.

Brenda goes to the Evil Teacher who feeds the Tooth Monster. Evil Teacher kills her with a hook for some reason and then hosts a cocoa drink party with the children who killed Tim. Is this unnecessarily ambiguous, over the top, and dumb? You Betcha!!!

Mike is back home. His mother has a nightmare of the tooth monster sucking Mike’s fingers. YEECH! Then, his daughter, who lives 452 miles away, appears outside of MM’s house. He asks, “How did you get here?” They cut to the Tooth Monster who I guess was going to say Kayak or Travelocity, but the episode ended so we will never learn how Mike’s daughter got there or if she got the lowest rate possible.

What can I tell you other than, I will stick with this show until its inevitable cancellation and is replaced with American Ninja Warrior Baking Championship or some such shit.

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Quick Horror Review: Halloween III – Season of the Witch (dir. by Tommy Lee Wallace)

Posted on October 30, 2016 by Leonard Wilson

halloween-3-season-of-the-witch-movie-poster-1982-1020194512-1 And then, in 1982, the story of Halloween went off the rails in what I feel was the coolest way possible. And to think, some felt Rob Zombie’s Halloween II went off the mark.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch was mostly a flop when it was released. It managed to make the money to cover the film’s budget, but the film was hurt by the lack of connection to the original series. I think most people at the time were just expecting to see more of Michael Myers and wondered just what the hell this was about. Imagine if The Force Awakens had absolutely zero ties to the main characters in the Star Wars Universe. Actually, you might end up with The Ewok Adventure, but that’s a different review for a different time. Still, Season of the Witch was just that kind of shake up when it was released.

Tommy Lee Wallace sat in the director’s chair this time around. Having actually played Michael Myers in the first Halloween film, Wallace does well here, showing he learned something about setting the scene. It all moves well, and the pacing isn’t too slow. Viewers expecting gore and attacks might find themselves sighing and fast forwarding a bit, but then again, it’s not that type of film. Season of the Witch has a slew of jump scares, though it does go a little overboard in the second half of the movie. Were it cut down to an hour, Season of the Witch could serve as a good Tales from the Darkside / Crypt episode. As a horror story, the body count is low (which is typical for a Carpenter story anyway)

From a writing standpoint, Season of the Witch is solid, though somewhat predictable. Writing duties were handled by John Carpenter (who couldn’t fully walk away from the project), Nigel Kneale, and Wallace himself. My favorite horror tales are the ones that surround the one or few individuals that have discovered something wicked, only to find that they can’t seem to get anyone else to believe what they’ve witnessed. It’s one thing to be chased by a maniacal killer or space creature. It’s another thing entirely to find out you’re the only thing standing between the creature and the rest of humanity. Films like The Wicker Man, every version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Count Yorga: Vampire are examples of this, and Season of the Witch handles this very well, particularly after everything is revealed to our hero and to the audience. Okay, the truth’s out. Who’d even believe you, if you told them? That’s always bothered me. The focus in Halloween deals more with it’s Celtic origins and the celebration of Samhain, and this honestly adds to the creep factor if you do a bit of background reading on it.

Season of the Witch starts a few days before Halloween, with a man on the run from men in black suits. He’s able to defeat the men after him, but not without taking on a few injuries. It’s in the hospital that we’re introduced to our hero in Dr. Dan Challis, played by Carpenter film alum Tom Atkins (The Fog, Escape From New York & Night of the Creeps). Challis has a pretty normal life – a good job, a wife and two kids. When the new patient warns him about some strange danger looming on the horizon and passes along a Halloween mask, Challis decides to share his information with the man’s daughter, Ellie (Stacey Nelkin). Ellie believes that her father died due to foul play, and nothing is going to stop her from finding out why it happened. Challis makes a quick call to the Missus, lies about what he plans to do (he spends a great of his conversations with her like this, as he’s basicially cheating on her), and continues on the mission. Dan and Ellie find their way to a small town called Santa Mira and to Conal Cochran (played by Dan O’Herlihy, also in The Last Starfighter & Robocop), owner of the Silver Shamrock company.

The trailer and videos actually give away more of the film than I ever could. If you have the chance to watch it, give a try. I don’t think it’s the worst film ever, but others expecting knife wielding killers may find themselves disappointed. Besides, if you take nothing else away from the film, there’s always the catchy Silver Shamrock Jingle to remind us of the fun in Halloween. The jingle was created by Wallace and Carpenter, with Tommy Lee Wallace providing the vocals and reminding us all to get our Silver Shamrock masks.

Halloween On Hulu 2016 : “Hazmat”

Posted on October 29, 2016 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Trash Film Guru

Okay, this is it for me. One more sub-micro-budget flick from Hulu’s “horror and suspense” offerings, and I’m done. It’s damn near Halloween, and I’ve got the next couple of days off work and would like to spend them watching good, reliable horror staples that I know will entertain me. Trolling through stuff I’ve never heard of on Hulu in the hopes of finding some hidden gems has yielded decidedly more misses than it has hits, but no matter : it’s been an interesting viewing experiment, and even if I go back to “Netflix Halloween” next year, as is my custom, or give Shudder a go, or do something else altogether, this hasn’t felt like a complete waste of time on the whole.

Unfortunately, the final film I chose to watch as part of “Halloween On Hulu” — writer/director Lou Simon’s 2013 slasher Hazmat — proved to be exactly that.

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Halloween On Hulu 2016 : “Altergeist”

Posted on October 29, 2016 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Trash Film Guru

Hey! Look what I found on Hulu! Another ultra-low-budget “found footage” horror flick about wannabe paranormal investigators! Let’s give writer/director Tedi Sarafian’s 2014 effort Altergeist a go and see if there’s anything that sets it apart from its legion of competitors, shall we?

Right off the bat the setting here is a winner — the purportedly haunted King’s Ransom Winery in northern California is a reasonably original (and equally reasonably atmospheric) one, that’s for sure, but that’s where any “newness” begins and ends with this film, as we’re introduced in fairly short order to the entire cast of highly derivative characters, all portrayed by obviously amateur actors who struggle to one degree or another : the winery’s owner, Ashen Till (played by David Weidoff) only closes down his operation for one weekend out of the year, and he’s agreed to allow our team of ghost hunters — consisting of pregnant…

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Horror on TV: Thriller 2.26 “Kill My Love” (dir by Herschel Daugherty)

Posted on October 29, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s excursion into televised horror is Kill My Love, an episode of Thriller that originally aired on March 26th, 1962!

In this episode, Richard Carlson plays Guy Guthrie. To the outside world, Guy looks like the perfect husband and father. However, he’s actually a cruel sociopath. When his mistress threatens to expose him, he murders her. When his wife realizes what Guy has done, he murders her as well.

But then Guy’s beloved son (David Kent) starts to figure out what his father has done and Guy is forced to decide just how far he’s willing to go to hide his secrets…

This episode, of course, is introduced by the one and only Boris Karloff!

Enjoy!

Halloween H20; ALT Title: They Stab Baby Boomers, Don’t They?

Posted on October 29, 2016 by casewright

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Gentle Readers, Is it time for Michael Myers? Oh yeah. Is it time for Halloween H20? Oh Yeah! You bet your ass it is!

Halloween H20 is a lot of fun and had a deep bench of talent. Robert Zappia and Matt Greenberg wrote the film and Veteran Horror Director Steve Miner helmed it. Robert Zappia went on to write for Children’s Television and Graphic Novels. Matt Greenberg later wrote “Reign of Fire” and “1408” – both films had good moments of suspense. I wrote to Robert Zappia and he informed me that the rest stop scene, which I will discuss later was written by Matt Greenberg. He and director Steve Miner knew what they were doing to jolt us without any jumpscares. The casting was very well done and, it was, in fact a who’s who of soon to be Stars. Here we go!!!

Langdon, Illinois. October 28, 1998. I just needed to smell the clove cigarettes, see the flannel, and not see any cell phones to know it. A simpler time. For the uninitiated, the 90s were a time when you met someone that you had attraction for in person. A Nurse is concerned that her office was broken into by a person unknown. We see younger Joseph Gordon Levitt (Pre-Looper). He was not manly in any way, but a real heart throb in his “3rd Rock” days. Of course, they have him playing Hockey … somehow. Nurse asks Levitt to search her home. He goofs around and steals some beers. The Nurse realizes that her files were stolen. Which files? Wait for it…. Laurie Strode’s. She looks around for Levitt and his friend. They were not so creatively killed with Hockey Skates to the face. He kills her too and steals her car. There is also a bit of continuity trouble with the daylight turning to night abruptly. Let’s take a moment and think about this: Michael Myers is really good at intelligence gathering, stealing, and killing. If only we could harness his skills for Uncle Sugar…..

We’re goin back to Haddonfield to Haddonfield to Haddonfield …. Nah, I don’t think so! [sung]

Random California Town: We see Jamie Lee Curtis fresh off from “True Lies”and the Headmistress of an elite boarding school. She has a grown son- Josh Hartnett (Josh) who really really wants to go camping in Yosemite. She won’t let him go. Sorry Josh, you’re just gonna have to stay home and make out with Michelle Williams. How will he possibly manage?! Speaking of the 90s, we’ve got Michelle Williams (MW), Chicago Hope Guy (CHG), Jodi Lynn O’Keefe (Jodi), LL Cool J (LL Cool J), and Ally McBeal (jk on this last one…probably). Through some not bad showing not telling, we learn: LL Cool J is an aspiring trashy romance novel writer AKA as a Paaaaaperback Wriiiiiiter, Jamie Lee and CHG are k-i-s-s-i-n-g, Jodi is dating a guy way below her level of hotness, and we can tell Michelle Williams is on financial aid because she works in the kitchen and uses a dumbwaiter.

CUT TO: A Mom pulls into a rest stop. We see the stolen car in the BG. This scene is pretty goddamn suspenseful! Well done, Robert Zappia. MM isn’t there to kill, just steal the mom’s car. Damn, MM is a great car thief!

Josh is all in lurve with Michelle Williams, sending her flowers in the dumbwaiter. JLC and CHG make out again. These are the horniest baby boomers ever! Josh wants to go into town. JLC says no. He convinces LL Cool J to let him sneak out. LL, I get it – Josh is dreamy, but you have a job responsibilities. Plus, I don’t think he’s the supermarket romance novel kind of guy; Josh’s more of the porking Michelle Williams kind of guy. JLC is out with CHG and snakes a drink when he goes to the bathroom. Good showing! She catches Josh off the compound…I mean school grounds. He lets her have it.

Back to the school: JLC releases the kids to Yosemite and her son so she believes so that the victims ….I mean residents….can be a …killable number. JLC gets home and boozes up. Josh has totally Dawson’s Creeked the make out basement area. I’m with Josh on this one. I’ve been to Yosemite and Yellowstone and thye’ve got Old Faithful, but if Michelle Williams is your other option …I don’t even want to write choice because Old Faithful could get its feelings hurt. I’m not saying that Josh isn’t planning on some regularly scheduled eruptions coupled with amateur photography, but it’s likely not at a national park.

JLC and CHG are making out … again. She tells him all about her brother being a murdering sociopath to set the mood and give herself an excuse to polish off more vodka.

This story has been pretty compelling, but it’s stabbing time. MM finds the way too ugly to date Jodi O’Keefe guy, cuts his throat, and puts him in the dumbwaiter. MM really likes things in their place; it makes you wonder if psychopathic murderers are OCD people gone to a terrible extreme. I knew a girl in college who would check her car doors to see if they were locked over and over. Maybe she murdered people too? Jodi looks for her BF and gets stalked by MM. She flees to the dumbwaiter and is next to her dead BF. She gets to the basement, but as she exits, MM cuts the dumbwaiter cord, the dumbwaiter lands on her leg, and her leg breaks horribly. Josh and Michelle find their friends all dead. They run to JLC. She sees her brother – Yikes. They must have the most awkward Thanksgivings! Seriously, it must be much worse than the year my girls and I wore Bernie Sanders shirts and my mom started quoting Ayn Rand over stuffing.

They all run and CHG accidentally shoots LL J. Bummer. CHG gets stabbed for his trouble. JLC ,MW, and Josh run, but he gets wounded and MW hits MM with a rock. Michelle Williams might be perfect: smart, can cook, gorgeous, can fight … Call Me. JLC badasses and sends MW and Josh off to safety as she gets an axe to deal with her brother. You go girl! They confront each other in the dining hall. It’s a pretty amazingly suspenseful scene. Seriously, the writer and director really kicked ass with this and many other scenes. Well done. JLC gets the upper hand and stabs MM. She’s ready to cut him up into bits when LL shows up, telling her he’s dead. Word? If only LL had been reading our reviews, he would know that this is not the end.

The Coroners show up, but JLC isn’t having it! She grabs the van and proceeds to drive MM out to the woods and chop his head off. Pretty awesome ending! I have to be honest this film is not really dated, it has terrific suspense, great writing, edgy directing. I would recommend making this a staple of Halloween season viewing.

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4 Shots From Horror History: Shaun of the Dead, The Devil’s Rejects, Land of the Dead, The Woods

Posted on October 28, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This October, I’m going to be doing something a little bit different with my contribution to 4 Shots From 4 Films. I’m going to be taking a little chronological tour of the history of horror cinema, moving from decade to decade.

Today, we continue to the aughts!

4 Shots From 4 Films