Category Archives: Uncategorized

Trump Before Trump : Jack Kirby’s “Forever People” #3 (1971)

Posted on by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarTrash Film Guru

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Last week, I cranked out a little column called “Five Comics To Help You Survive The Age Of Trump” that got a fairly healthy number of hits and re-tweets and all that shit — for which I’m grateful, rest assured — but while that piece focused entirely on currently-running series, the perhaps-unbelievable truth is that comics’ ultimate response to the “Trump Age” actually came out way back in 1971.

If there’s one creator who could predict the future with uncanny accuracy it was, of course, Jack Kirby — and he frequently did just that. Kirby was — and remains — comics’ pre-eminent visionary, but one could actually make a strong argument that the fruits of his boundless imaginative prowess constitute the single-greatest body of work produced by any artist in any medium in the last century. Every great creative genius has a greatest work of his or her own, though, and…

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No “Satanic” Panic

Posted on by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarTrash Film Guru

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I don’t get it. There are literally thousands of aspiring horror filmmakers out there just looking to get noticed. They bust their asses for days, weeks, months, even years. They populate their crews and casts with friends, relatives, or other low-to-no-price talent searching for a usually-elusive big break themselves. They pour everything they’ve got and then some into getting their flicks made, hustling up whatever cash they can via crowdfunding, loans, you name it. They work two or three jobs to finance their ventures themselves to whatever extent they can and film at nights, on weekends, or whenever they have a couple of hours to spare. And if and when their movies get completed, then they have to double down and work even harder just to get anyone to see them. They hit you up on twitter. They email you. They start facebook pages that get 15 members. And…

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Late To The Party : “Green Room”

Posted on by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarTrash Film Guru

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I meant to see writer/director Jeremy Saulnier’s Green Room when it was out in theaters “back” in 2015. Never happened. Then I meant to see it as soon as it came out on Blu-ray (from Lionsgate, who have put together a nice little package with a “making-of” featurette and a full-length director’s commentary track that’s pretty engaging). Never happened. Then it finally made it to the top of my Netflix rental queue (yes, I still have one of those) and guess what? Last night I did, finally, see it. And you know what? I’m glad I waited.

I say that because as good as Green Room no doubt seemed when it came out — and it is very good — it now seems downright prescient as an allegory for American life circa late 2016/early 2017. A year-and-change ago this punks-vs.-Nazis survival horror probably came off as being a bit far-fetched…

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People of Earth, Acceptance-Season 1 Episode 3; ALT Title: WHAAAA?!!!

Posted on by casewright

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This is not typical for me: there is a show without fault.  There have been two brilliant works to premiere in 2016! 2016 has gotten a lot of shit, but I can’t see how it’s that different from any other year.  People died and we elected a rich racist old white guy as President -seems pretty par for the shitty course. Don’t get me wrong; I’m furious, but not surprised that people chose a POS last Tuesday. This is part of the reason why People of Earth is great; there’s a sense of universal mediocrity that we all deal with everywhere.  The hero is in a haze of discontent and mediocrity even before the aliens get to him and the aliens are a mixture of petty and incompetent.  The show posits a comfortable universal mediocrity.  We aren’t unique with having annoying coworkers or a douchebag boss or shitty job- this is just life: UNIVERSAL… EVERYWHERE.  As they told me in the Army: Embrace the Suck!

This episode deals with divorce.  Divorce sucks.   Imagine a break up, but it’s uncertain for the first time in your life what is yours and if you’ll ever be loved by another human being again for free, not that prostitutes don’t have feelings or negotiable rates… wait…. where was I?  In this context, People of Earth explores the painfully banal human concept of divorce with the backdrop of the extraordinary story of slow-moving alien domination.

Open: Ozzie is having dreams about the Lizard alien who is almost certainly Jon teaching him how to use a toy train and he wakes in a cold sweat.

Current day: Jon gets the news from Archer’s VO Guy AVOG that Kurt is dead.  Scroty prepares himself with an almost eye-roll for LOTR-Guy’s Hilarious 5 stages of grief in under 30 seconds. It’s awesome.

The Group:  Richard reveals to the group that he was served divorce papers and ordered to mediation.  He reminisces to an idyllic past and camping trip that was the site of their abduction.  He’s convinced the divorce papers are in fact a lizard alien plot of some kind. Ozzie tries to bring Richard back to earth that these are in fact divorce papers, but he’s not ready.  Gina demands that Ozzie partner with Richard and guide him through this ordeal.

B Story: Gerry is out of jail.

The Mothership:  Scroty is suppressing his feelings, comparing Kurt’s not working to LOTR-Guy’s not working because they’re both….dead weight.  WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA! Anywho, LOTR-Guy is trying to get Scroty to express his grief; it doesn’t work.

B Story:  Gerry finds the Kurt-alien outline on the asphalt and Joy finds Gerry.  They chat and discern that it was likely a lizard death because of the acid blood that damaged the asphalt AND that a city official must have covered it up! The more important part of the scene was the burgeoning love between Gerry and Joy, which is a perfect counterweight to the A-Story where two signatures clearly define love’s end.

A Story- Mediation:  Richard goes on about Aliens and his soon to be ex loses it.  He agrees to sign it, but uses a fake name.

Richard’s Ex pursues him to the meeting and we learn that their marriage sucked before, she remembers the abduction, and used to be a member of Starcrossed!  WHAAAAAAA?!!! Richard leans on Ozzie and agrees to sign the papers.  Once again, something has died, but a friendship is born.

The Mothership:  LOTR-Guy gets Scroty to deal with his grief, but Scroty gets to the anger step …. and stays there.  He scans Kurt’s lifeless mind and sees Gina’s bumper sticker and vows revenge.

Ozzie flashes back to his youth and his dad was JON!!! WHAAAAA?!

Once again- A badass song! Wall of Voodoo- Ring of Fire:

People of Earth, “Sponsored By”, Season 1, Episode 2; It’s Funny Alien Stuff, Bruh!

Posted on by casewright

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People of Earth once again delivers! Finding fault with People of Earth is like finding fault with making love, Italian food, or Al Green albums.  Bruh. TOTES AWESOMEBALLS, Bruh!!! Let’s grab some ‘Za! I figure I need to use slang like that now that our country is going to be run by a Nuclear Armed Frat House.  On fleek- Out; Sweet, Bruh- In.

NYC: Jon is phone stalking Ozzie to get him to return to Buzzfeedish.  Bruh.

Gina and Gerry intervene on Ozzie and cajole him to get a sponsor for the Starcrossed Program.  Bruh.

The meeting:  Ozzie makes a list of names to rule out as his sponsor.  As he is judging them, he notices that Chelsea’s recount of LOTR-Guy is remarkably similar to that of Kelly.  They begin to discuss it and Gina tries to put a stop to it because this is her club and she makes the rules darn it!  Kelly slut shames Chelsea and Richard steals the scene by misquoting Fleetwood Mac.  To her chagrin, Father Doug needs to speak to her about their organization.  They separate, tell their stories, do sketches of LOTR-Guy and discover- IT WAS THE SAME ALIEN BRUH, BRUH.  That’s enough.  We learn that Chelsea has a terrible marriage.

Ozzie crosses everyone off his list accept Kelly who becomes his sponsor.

We also learn that LOTR-Guy’s incompetence is what caused Ozzie’s visions.  It’s really really funny watching Scroty bust LOTR-Guy’s balls.  See what I did there?!!! 

Gerry returns to Starcrossed with Ozzie’s car and Archer’s Voice Guy tases him! AWESOME!!!

Jon busts Scroty and Kurt for doing a shitty job with Ozzie’s memory.  The response: Kurt beams down to earth and is promptly runover by Gina who’s texting and driving.  There’s a lesson here: Texting and Driving kills lizard people!

Archer’s Voice Guy shows up and cleans up Kurt’s acid-bleeding body.

We also get a great song once again- Khala My Friend!!!

There’s No Love Like “Violent Love”

Posted on by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarTrash Film Guru

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From Bonnie And Clyde to Natural Born Killers, star-crossed lovers on the run from the law and racing head-first to a date with death have been a popular box-office draw for decades, and if you’re willing to tinker with the formula just a bit it’s not too great a leap to see how drive-in classics like Bonnie’s Kids and Black Mama, White Mama are cut from very much the same cloth. With the popularity of the exploitation ethos at an all-time high in the pages of indie comics thanks to series like Alex Di Campi’s Grindhouse and Kelly Sue DeConnick and Valentine De Landro’s Bitch Planet, then, it was probably only a matter of time before we got our own funnybook stand-ins for Mickey and Mallory, and now that writer Frank J. Babiere and artist Victor Santos’ new Image five-parter, Violent Love, is on LCS shelves, my only…

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Five Comics To Help You Survive The Age Of Trump

Posted on by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarTrash Film Guru

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Like a lot of you, I’m still pretty well numb with shock over what the hell happened last Tuesday night — and if you’re not, read no further since what I’ve got to say will just piss you off. Will we survive this mess? Do we even deserve to if our country is this fucking stupid? Both are questions none of us can answer right now — but when I ride the train to and from work and see the abject terror on the faces of my fellow Minneapolitans who happen to be Hispanic or Muslim, I know this country has taken a turn for the darker, and it’s going to be up to those of us with a conscience to make sure that our friends, neighbors, and family members all feel both welcome and safe in this new, reactionary America. The angry white males are back in the driver’s…

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RIP Robert Vaughn: Another Magnificent Actor Gone

Posted on by gary loggins

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The Grim Reaper continues his onslaught on 2016, taking another classic star with him to Valhalla. Robert Vaughn, last survivor of THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN and ultra-suave star of TV’s THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E, has died at age 83, closing the books on a magnificent career in film, television, and the stage.

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Born to acting parents on November 22, 1932, Vaughn acted in small roles before landing the lead in Roger Corman’s unintentionally funny TEENAGE CAVEMAN. A year later, he was Oscar nominated for his performance as accused murderer Chester Gwynn in THE YOUNG PHILIDELPHIANS… what a difference a year makes! His role as Lee, the gunman who loses his nerve in THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, is a standout among that all-star cast. Vaughn continued to act in both movies and TV parts before landing the part that made him a pop-culture superstar.

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THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E (United Network Command for Law and Enforcement) debuted September 22, 1964…

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Channel Zero, A Strange Vessel, Season 1, Ep 4; ALT Title: Paper Mache and You!

Posted on by casewright

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There are times in a person’s life that test your very ability to function: Boot camp, the death of a loved one, and watching Channel Zero.  There are things that are entertaining to my Gentle Readers because they are shared fun like when I review Stranger Things, Halloween H2O, 28 Days Later, or People of Earth, but I know there’s another kind of fun – a darker fun … AKA Schadenfreude like when I watch/review Halloween Resurrection, but this is so painful.  When you read the review of this show, you know I had to do three things: 1) watch it, 2) think about it, and 3) write about it; none of these things are short of misery. However Friday, I get a tooth extraction…so that’s a big step up!  When I write that this show is the worst steaming pile of shit ever to be splatted on our cathode ray tubes and you think I’m being unfair, Listen – There’s WHOLE scenes featuring Paper Mache and I don’t mean just a couple either.

Opening: 1988 Eddie or Mike is drawing Bones; they’re twins so big deal.  Draw whatever you want!

The Creepiest Children’s Hospital:

Jess is walking with her stabbed son to visit his sister Stabbypants and stops to look at the candle cove crayon drawings, but she did that in the last episode.  Maybe she’s trying to become a curator 0r docent of creepy hospital crayon art?  They visit his sister and tell her, “We’re not mad at you.” REALLY?!  I put my daughters in timeout for just using “hurting hands”.  JESS- WORST MOM EVER! I’m judging you Jess! YOU’VE BEEN JUDGED!  Stabbed Son secrets Stabbypants a tooth.

Jess visits her vigilante husband.  He has her get his gun for protection.

Mike calls his wife.  She’s in Seattle and he tells her that their daughter appeared at his Mom’s house out of nowhere from several hundred miles away and he seems genuinely surprised that she wants to come over there.  REALLY?! WORD?!  Oh God, Oh God, There’s so much more to go!  

Amy is in her office and stares at the weirdest gift ever- a pot of mushrooms.  This mystery is solved by Dork Deputy who explains that he grew them for her and asks her out and is turned down.  I can’t see why this didn’t work!  I mean … we all know…  Every girl crazy ’bout a Mushroom Man! [sung as ZZ Top].

Flashback: Jess and Mike were a kid couple.  Eddie’s jealous.  That’s it.

Marla’s house:  We learn by a lot of telling that Lily- Mike’s Daughter- is possessed by Eddie.  Brightside: This creates a twofer for Thanksgiving – Lily/Eddie!!!  Lily pulls out a pirate doll from Mike’s past.

Lily’s Dream sequence: It’s paper mache of a rabbit’s face.  No… Really, this scene featuring Paper Mache was done on purpose.

Mike talks to Lily/Eddie.  She says that it’s ok that he stabbed him, meaning Mike stabbing Eddie with a hook.  And, why shouldn’t he be?!  Everyone else on this dumbass show is very permissive with stabbings.  

We cut to his plan: Mike believes that if he steals Eddie’s body and cremates it, Eddie will rest.  Then, we see more images of a Paper Mache rabbit person trying to be silly. Sorry, I only assumed silly because it looked so stupid.  Fuck, More Paper Mache!!! Was there a sale at Joanne’s?!  

Amy goes to the school to talk to the creepy kids she saw acting out a stabbing.  Tooth Teacher stymies her at every turn.  Finally, Amy tracks down the kids.  They are acting out some of Candle Cove and for the win what are the kids dress up in?  If you said, “Shitty Paper Mache!”, you win!  If you got that right, there’s a slight chance that you watched this crapfest and shall always be my brother in pain. The kids all speak in a monotone to give that full-on Paper Mache of the Damned vibe.

Mike and Jess go to the morgue and get Eddie’s body.  This was really easy for them.  They must have a Take a Body Leave a Body Policy.

Mike and Jess burn Eddie’s body.

Amy decides for some reason that she wants to pork Dork Deputy.  Why? Who knows.  Then, she leaves and goes to Tooth Teacher’s house, breaks in, and finds the body of random lady that the lady Tooth Lady killed in the last episode.

Jess goes home and the Paper Mache of the Damned kid crew attack her and stab her to death, realizing their rehearsal that the Deputy saw in the previous episode.

The episode ends with Lily being Lily again.

Roll Credits!  Next Week on Channel Zero: SPOOKY DECOUPAGE!!!

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Why didn’t they use this paper mache?

joanne