Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.18 “The Devil Stick/Touch and Go”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

It’s time to go back to the Island.  Smiles, everyone, smiles!

Episode 6.18 “The Devil Stick/Touch and Go”

(Dir by George McCowan, originally aired on March 19th, 1983)

I had mixed feelings about this episode.

On the one hand, we do learn a little bit about Tattoo’s past in this episode.  We discover that he lived in Paris before coming to Fantasy Island and becoming Roarke’s assistant and we learn that he may have been a taxi driver.  At one point, his life was saved by a woman named Susan Henderson (Georgia Engel).  To repay her, Tattoo arranges for Susan to come to the Island so that she can pursue her fantasy of getting concert pianist Carter Ransome (Bernie Kopell — who I love on The Love Boat but who is just plain miscast here) to fall in love with her.  Even though Roarke says it will only be for the weekend, Susan is okay with that.  Of course, things get complicated.  Roarke also asks Tattoo how he plans to pay for the fantasy.  Since when does Roarke care about money?  Seriously, after all of the free fantasies that he’s handed out!?  Give Tattoo a break, Roarke!

On the other hand, this fantasy featured Georgia Engel.  Georgia Engel was an actress who specialized in playing very nice women who rarely spoke above a whisper.  Ever since I’ve started doing these retro television reviews, I’ve watched countless episodes featuring Georgia Engel as quirky women who refuse to speak above a whisper.  At first, it didn’t bother me.  Then I watched Jennifer Slept Here, a short-lived sitcom co-starring Georgia Engel.  It was while watching Jennifer Slept Here that I found myself yelling, “SPEAK UP!” whenever Georgia Engel appeared onscreen.

I feel bad because Georgia Engel, in every role that I’ve seen her play, came across as being a genuinely kind soul but the whispering thing …. oh my God, it just annoys the Hell out of me.  And that was certainly the case with this episode.  It was nice to learn more about Tattoo’s life and I’m glad that everyone found love but I’m sick of having to strain to understand or even hear the dialogue whenever Georgia Engel guest stars on one of these shows.

The other fantasy, I liked a bit more.  Carl Peters (Dean Butler) comes to Fantasy Island to meet a woman who has loved for afar, Hallie Miller (Crystal Bernard).  It turns out that Hallie lives on a village on the other side of the Island.  Roarke warns that it’s a weird village that’s never gotten over the execution of a witch several centuries earlier.  At first, I was like, “Since when is there a town on the other side of the Island?” but then I remembered that, during the first season, there was a whole fantasy that took place in fishing village that happened to be on the Island.  Anyway, this fantasy is supernatural-themed and I always like it when Fantasy Island embraces its supernatural origins.

It was an uneven trip to the Island this week but what can I say?  I like island trips!

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.21 “Thrill Show”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week’s episode is all about the thrills!

Episode 3.21 “Thrill Show”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on February 23rd, 1980)

Bonnie (Randi Oakes) has a decision to make.  Her ex-boyfriend and mentor, Ray (John McCook, of Bold and the Beautiful fame) has come to Los Angeles and is trying to convince her to quit the force and join him as a member of the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show!

The what?

I have to admit that I had no idea what the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show was but all of the police officers were really excited about it and the episode’s storylines all came to a halt for ten minutes so we could have an extended sequences of drivers doing stunts.  I assumed that the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show was a real thing and a quick check with Wikipedia confirmed that I was correct.  (In fact, Chitwood played Charlie, James Bond’s unfortunate driver in Live and Let Die.)

While Bonnie struggles with her future, Baker and Ponch pursue the members of a rock band who have been robbing tourist buses so that they can raise the money to record their first album.  Hell yeah, that’s taking control of your future!  The leader of the band was named Malcolm and he was played by Paul Nicholas, who also played Peter Frampton’s brother in Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.  Whatever else you may think of that film, Nicholas’s performance of You Never Give Me Your Money was nicely done.

This episode seemed to primarily exist to advertise the Chitwood show but, as I’ve stated before, I’ve always liked fast cars and dramatic stunts.  What can I say?  I’m a Southern girl, it’s in my blood.  The idea of a band robbing tourists to pay for its album was actually kind of interesting, even if the episode didn’t really do much with it.  Paul Nicholas was a bit more charismatic than the typical CHiPs co-star.

In other words, this episode …. hey, it was okay!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.6 “God’s Work”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

After a two-week hiatus, the retro television reviews are back!  Let’s start with Miami Vice.

Episode 4.6 “God’s Work”

(Dir by Jan Eliasberg, originally aired on November 6th, 1987)

Father Ernesto Lupe (Daniel Lugo), an old friend of Castillo’s, runs an AIDS hospice in Miami.  When Father Ernesto is shot and murdered, Castillo takes a particular interest in the case.

Was Father Ernesto shot by one of the neighborhood homophobes, the same punks who spend their free time spray-painting obscene graffiti on the front doors of the hospice?

Was Father Ernesto’s death connected to his brother-in-law, notorious drug lord Jorge Cruz (Alfonso Arau)?  The Vice Squad has been investigating the Cruz family.  Francesco (Franceso Quinn) is the brutish son, the one who enjoys throwing his weight around and who goes out of his way to bully everyone that he meets.  Felipe (Esai Morales) is the young son, who has just returned from Miami after making a fortune as a stockbroker in New York.  Is Felipe looking to take over the family business?

Actually, Felipe wants nothing to do with the family business.  He’s returned to Miami because an ex-boyfriend is a patient at the AIDS hospice and Felipe wanted to spend time with him before he died.  And Father Ernesto’s death had nothing to do with drugs.  Instead, Jorge shot him because Jorge blamed Ernesto’s sermons, which stressed God’s love above all else, for being responsible for Felipe “becoming” gay.  Even after Felipe explains that the sermons had nothing to do with it and that he’s always been gay, Jorge still thinks that he can “cure” his son by making him a part of the family business.

Yikes!

There was a lot going on in this episode.  In fact, there was almost too much going on.  Between Castillo investigating Ernesto’s death and Tubbs (working undercover) trying to arrest Franceso, this episode sometimes felt a bit overstuffed.  It was still an effective episode, though, featuring good performances from Arau, Quinn, Morales, and Edward James Olmos.  Castillo actually got to laugh at one point in this episode.  I don’t think that’s ever happened before.

This episode did remind me — as I think almost every episode does — that Crockett and Tubbs undercover work has never made much sense.  Tubbs spends the majority of the first half of the episode pretending to be a criminal looking to make a deal with Francisco.  That’s fine.  It even allows Tubbs to use his fake Caribbean accent.  It’s been a while since we’ve heard that.  But then, after Father Ernesto is shot, Tubbs shows up at the crime scene with his badge.  Now, seriously, Father Ernesto is Francesco’s uncle.  Francesco is a suspect in the murder.  Why would Tubbs run the risk of blowing his cover like that?  For that matter, why was Vice investigating a homicide?

Even when Vice is good, it often doesn’t make sense.

I Want To See The Lone Red Seat In Fenway Park


I’m not even a Red Sox fan but, if I’m ever in Boston, I’m going to visit Fenway Park just so I can see the Red Seat.

Photograph by David

This red seat, in the right field bleachers, is where the longest home run in Fenway Park’s history landed.  It was hit by Ted Williams on June 9th, 1946.  That’s 79 years ago today.  The seat was painted red in 1981 to honor Williams’s achievement and to make sure that no one forgot a piece of baseball history.

Photograph by Ewen Roberts

I’ve searcedh for any available film of Ted Williams hitting that record-setting homerun but I haven’t been able to find it.  I’ve found a lot of other Ted Williams’s home runs.  He was an amazing hitter and I wish I could go back and actually watch him play.  The next best thing, though, is this red seat, reminding everyone of his accomplishment.

This red seat epitomizes why I will always love baseball.  I don’t know how many times Ted Williams swung his bat over his career or how many total hits he got.  According to Wikipedia, he hit 521 career home runs.  But I will always know just how far he hit that ball 79 years ago in Fenway Park.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 6/1/25 — 6/7/25


Hi, television.  It’s been a while since I’ve really had time to watch you!

Here’s what I watched this week:

Cold Case: The Tylenol Murders (Netflix)

This is the latest in the true crime docuseries that Joe Berlinger has been doing for Netflix.  Over three episodes, this series told the story of a series of Tylenol poisonings that occurred in the early 80s.  The show featured the last record interview with James Lewis, the number one suspect.  Personally, I thought Lewis came across like he was guilty as Hell.  If you’re like me and you suffer from frequent headaches, exercise some caution before watching this one.

Good American Family (Hulu)

I finally watched this true crime miniseries this week.  Good American Family centers around the story of Natalia Grace, a seven year-old with dwarfism who was abandoned by her adoptive parents.  Her adoptive mother (played by Ellen Pompeo) claimed that Natalia (played by Imogen Faith Reid) was actually a 22 year-old con artist.

It’s an interesting story and the miniseries featured good performances from Pompeo and Mark Duplass, cast as her husband.  But, at 8 episodes, the whole thing felt a bit overextended and the show itself was pretty inconsistent.  As so often happens with these Hulu true crime docuseries, the attempts to use the story to critique and satirize middle America fell flat.

 

COMBAT (TV Series) – starring Rick Jason and Vic Morrow – S3, E30: “Heritage” (Guest star – Charles Bronson)!


Just after surviving a difficult mission, Lt. Hanley (Rick Jason) and Kirby (Jack Hogan) are given orders to guide an artistic demolitions expert named Cpl. Velasquez (Charles Bronson) to a German observation post that sits on top of a rocky mountain. Their objective is to blow up the enemy post so a group of ten thousand Allied soldiers can cross the valley below on the very next day. Complicating the journey to the targeted destination is Velasquez’s slow pace and fascination with the local geology. This lack of focus causes plenty of problems with Hanley who just wants to get to the location and blow it to smithereens. Once they finally make it to the observation post, Velasquez spots a vault dug into the side of mountain and determines it’s the perfect spot to set his charges. However, when he goes into the vault, he sees that it is full of priceless sculptures and works of art, and he can’t bring himself to blow them up. But if they don’t complete their mission, 10,000 Allied soldiers will soon be sitting ducks. Will Velasquez come to his senses in time to save the men?!!

Today, I watched my old VHS tape of this season 3 episode of COMBAT, called “Heritage,” which premiered in April of 1965. When I was in junior high, I was at Wal-Mart and they had a big bin of VHS tapes, and in those bins, they had tapes that would contain one episode of the series. I don’t remember now who the guest stars were on the other tapes, but I certainly got excited when I saw an episode with Charles Bronson for sale. Since this was in the late 80’s, my tape is over 35 years old, and it’s still holding up well. “Heritage” is the only episode of COMBAT that I’ve ever seen. The series stars Rick Jason as Lt. Hanley and Vic Morrow as Sgt. Saunders. Morrow just makes a very short appearance here at the very beginning, with the episode focusing on the characters played by Jason and Bronson. The other primary character in this episode, who goes by the name of Kirby, is played by Jack Hogan who appeared in 111 episodes of the series. He’s more in the background of the episode as Bronson and Jason take center stage. 

Charles Bronson plays a much different type of character than he would go on to play in most of movies from the 70’s and 80’s. His Cpl. Velasquez can be described as more of a lover and not a fighter. Rather than focus on getting to his target, he’d rather take his time and soak in the interesting and varied rock formations along the way. Rather than easily taking out the enemy and saving his fellow soldiers, he can’t bring himself to destroy priceless works of art, pieces he calls our “God-given…immortal heritage!” It takes a little getting used to, but Bronson turns in a strong performance as a man who has something much more beautiful on his mind than just following orders and killing. This character and performance contrasts greatly with Rick Jason’s character who just wants to complete his mission and get back to base. It’s a shame that war puts people into these kinds of positions where you have to destroy some amazing things in order to save others, but that’s just how it is. I thank God that there have been so many brave men and women who have done what it takes to give us the freedom that we enjoy every day. Even though it was gonna hurt, Cpl. Velasquez, as played by Charles Bronson, is the kind of man who does what it takes. 

Overall, “Heritage” is a good episode that’s elevated by Bronson’s excellent performance. It’s a prime example of just what a great character actor Bronson was before hitting the big time as an international superstar a few short years later. I may have to check out a few more episodes of the COMBAT series after this! 

Song of the Day: Dust (What I Know) by Downtown Sasquatch


Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to Shane Kippel!

Shane Kippel, as I’m sure I don’t have to tell you, played Spinner Mason on Degrassi: The Next Generation.  He started out as the school bully but, by the time the third season began, he was pretty much the heart of the ensemble.  How cool was Shane Kippel?  He was so cool that Spinner ended up getting held back three times just so there would be an excuse to keep Kippel on the show!

(“What type of idiot fails his own language!?” Spinner once said when confronted with his grade in English.  Oh, Spinner!)

Today’s song of the day features Shane Kippel on drums.  From Degrassi, here is Downtown Sasquatch with Dust!

(The other members of the band are Jake Epstein on vocals, Aubrey Graham on guitar, and Adamo Ruggiero on bass.)

Retro Television Reviews: An Update


I know I originally said that my Retro Television Reviews would return this week but I’m actually going to need another week, both for my health and also so I can get caught up on some other things that I’ve been putting off taking care of.  So, Retro Television Reviews will return on Monday, June 9th!

Thank you for your patience and understanding!

Andy Griffith tells a story about football in 1953! 


Andy Griffith’s “What It Was, Was Football” is a classic, comic monologue about a naive country preacher who stumbles upon a football game and tries to make sense of something he’s never seen before. Needless to say, it’s hilarious, and it highlights just what a great comedian Griffith is. In honor of what would have been Andy Griffith’s 99th birthday, I gave it a listen, and now I share it with you. Enjoy! 

Brad’s “Scene of the Day” – Happy Birthday to Andy Griffith (1926-2012)!


Andy Griffith would have been 99 years old today. This man has brought so much joy into my life over the years, and that joy has primarily come from his performance as Sheriff Andy Taylor on THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW (1960-1968). There are 249 episodes of the classic TV series, and I have watched every single one of them many times. I love Andy’s relationship with his deputy Barney Fife (Don Knotts), and their adventures lead to so many laughs, but the shows that touch me the most emotionally involve his relationship with his son, Opie (Ron Howard). There are several episodes throughout the series where Andy will put his trust in Opie even when he’s unsure if it’s the right thing to do. One of those episodes is the first episode of season 3, entitled “Mr. McBeevee.” It’s one of my favorite episodes of the entire series, and it illustrates the special relationship between a dad and his son.

Enjoy, my friends.