The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: How To Make A Monster (dir by Herbert L. Strock)

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

How do you make a monster?

According to this 1958 film, the man to ask is Pete Dumond!

As played by Robert H. Harris, Pete Dumond is the chief make-up artist at American International Pictures. He’s so good that he can easily transform handsome teen idols like Tony Mantell (Gary Conway) and Larry Drake (Gary Clarke) into convincing monsters. Everyone loves Pete but there’s a problem. As the new studio head explains it, horror just isn’t that popular anymore. Teenagers are no longer interested in seeing movies about werewolves and Frankenstein’s Monster. Instead, teens now only care about rock and roll. Elvis has killed horror!

(Actually, the film argues that a recording artist named John Ashley killed horror. At the time this movie was made, John Ashley was under contract to American International Pictures and the film even includes a dance number where Ashley performs his latest hit. Ashley wasn’t a bad singer but it’s still hard to believe that he could have killed horror. That said, the choreography is fun and every horror movie needs at least one random dance number.)

Sadly, Pete is about to be out of a job. However, what the studio heads don’t realize is that Pete is more than just a makeup artist! He’s also a master hypnotist! Soon, Pete is using a special foundation cream to hypnotize Tony and Larry. Once he has them under his control, he sends them, in full costume, on a mission to kill anyone who thinks that horror is dead!

There’s a lot of enjoyment to be found in How To Make A Monster. The film not only takes place at American International Pictures but it was produced by AIP as well, so the entire movie is basically full of in-jokes that would only be appreciated by B-movie fans. For instance, the makeup effects that Pete creates are the same ones that were used in I Was A Teenage Frankenstein and I Was A Teenage Werewolf. (Gary Conway wore the Frankenstein makeup in both Teenage Frankenstein and this film.) Towards the end of the film, when Larry and Tony confront Pete at his home, the walls are decorated with all of the monsters that Pete has created throughout the years and attentive viewers will recognize them as coming from such previous AIP films as The She-Creature, It Conquered The World, and Invasion of the Star Creatures. (Seriously, I loved seeing the big crab monster from It Conquered The World hanging on Pete’s wall. I’m sure horror and sci-fans in the 1950s felt the same way.) While the majority of the film is in black-and-white, the scenes in Pete’s home are in full and vibrant color, as if AIP was announcing, “This is what makes the movies fun!”

Needless to say, How To Make A Monster is not a film that was ever meant to be taken seriously. Instead, it’s a rather cheerful send-up of both the film business and AIP’s own status as a B-studio. (At times, I felt like the film could just as easily have been called Sam Arkoff’s The Player.) Watching the film, one gets the feeling that it was largely made as a lark, an inside joke amongst friends. As such, it’s impossible to dislike this energetic little film. Director Herbert L. Strock keep the action moving along and, in the lead role, Robert H. Harris gives exactly the type of over-the-top performance that this material needs.

If you’re a fan of 50s drive-in movies, How To Make A Monster is a film that you simply must see!

Rush Week (1991, directed by Bob Bralver)

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

When campus coeds start to go missing, student journalist Toni Daniels (Pamela Ludwig) investigates. At first, she suspects that a local fraternity is responsible and that all of the disappearances are linked to the college’s notoriously wild rush week. But, after she starts dating Jeff (Dean Hamilton), the president of the fraternity, Toni decides that the killer is probably actually Arnold (John Donavon), a cook in the school’s cafeteria who asked all of the missing girls to model for him. While Toni and Jeff try to prove that Arnold is responsible for all of the recent disappearances, the school’s puritanical Dean (Roy Thinnes), tries to keep rush week under control. Good luck with that because no one controls rush week.

Rush Week is a mixes two genres, the campus comedy and the slasher film and it tries to proves that not even a string of murders can spoil a good frat party. Unfortunately, it doesn’t do a very good job at it. The comedy isn’t funny, the kills aren’t scary, and the identity of the murderer is obvious from the start. (Surprise, it’s not Arnold.) The best performance comes from Roy Thinnes, who gives a performance as the Dean that would make John Vernon proud. (Almost every actor eventually reaches a point where they have to start taking John Vernon roles to pay the bills.) Like a lot of bad 90s slashers, Rush Week used to be show up frequently on Late Night Cinemax. Most people who watched it probably did so because Kathleen Kinmont played the student whose disappearance sets the entire movie in motion. Kinmont plays a character named Julie Ann McGuffin. She’s an actual MacGuffin and that’s about as clever as the script gets.

Frankenstein vs. Dracula vs. The Mummy: Who Would Win?

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

If the next presidential election were held today and the major candidates were Frankenstein, Dracula, and The Mummy, who would win?

I know that’s a question that has been on everyone’s mind and, in order to find out, I went to the Internet Archive and ran the scenario through a game called President Elect. President Elect was developed as an election simulator in the 80s and it is still considered to be one of the best and most accurate games of its type. Over the years, President Elect has correctly predicted the results of almost every election since 1988.

After setting the game to duplicate both the fragile state of the American economy and the uncertain outlook of our current place in the world, I then selected my three nominees. Frankenstein’s Monster ran as the Democratic candidate. He had no platform, beyond more funds for fire prevention. As a public speaker, I had to give him a low rating and I also had to admit that he wasn’t good at maintaining his cool under pressure. However, I did give him high marks on the “personal magnetism” scale because people have been fascinated by the monster for over two hundred years. Frankenstein’s Monster may seemed like the underdog but perhaps voters would be moved by his personal story and his refusal to take definite positions on the issues.

Running for the Republicans was Dracula. As for as public speaking, personal magnetism, and staying calm under pressure, Dracula got the highest rating available. But his platform was undeniably extreme, with absolutely no concern for human rights. Dracula was the only candidate to be opposed to the agendas of the Religious Right, the National Organization for Women, and the NRA. (The last thing that a vampire would want would be for everyone to have access to silver bullets.) Would he be too extreme for the voters?

Finally, running as an independent was the Mummy. The Mummy had roughly the same platform as Dracula but little of the personal magnetism. In fact, the Mummy could not even speak. But he was determined to get what he wanted and again, he scored high on the personal magnetism because he’s been in so many movies despite spending all of his time under wraps.

I allowed the game to simulate the 9 weeks between Labor Day and the election. Not surprisingly, Frankenstein’s Monster refused to debate Dracula. As a third party candidate, the Mummy struggled to keep up financially. I was expecting a close election with a lot of fireworks but instead, it was clear from week one who was going to win. Dracula led in the polls from the start and, within the first hour of election night, he had the 270 electoral votes necessary to claim the presidency. He went on to win a lot more than just 270 though.

Here are the votes by state:

America went full Dracula, not only giving him 60% of the popular vote but also 535 electoral votes. Frankenstein’s Monster won only the District of Columbia and, even then, he only received 67% of the vote in this Democratic stronghold. After D.C., Frankenstein’s best states were Minnesota and Rhode Island, in which he took 47% of the vote. The Mummy turned out not to be a factor at all, despite winning 5% of the vote in Florida. Frankenstein’s Monster may have had the most compassionate platform but Dracula had the charisma. His best states were Idaho and Utah, both of which he won with 71% of the vote.

See you at the inauguration!

Horror Scenes That I Love: “Gotta Light?” from Twin Peaks: The Return

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Twin Peaks: The Return was full of creepy characters but the Woodsmen may have been the creepiest.

“Gotta light?”

Book Review: The Scandalous History of the Roman Emperors by Anthony Blond and Laura Blond

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Who were the scariest people in the Roman Empire?

According to this book, which was first published in 1994, it was the Emperors. The Scandalous History of the Roman Emperors takes an enjoyably gossipy and occasionally disturbing look at the first six emperors of the Roman Empire, from Julius Caesar to Nero. By analyzing the words of Roman historians and occasionally reading between the lines, Anthony Blond makes a good argument that the most powerful men in the ancient world were, for the most part, an incredibly petty group of neurotic people. Julius Caesar emerges as a pompous blowhard who probably owed most of his reputation to the circumstances of his death. Augustus is motivated less by strategic genius and more by his fear of never escaping his uncle’s shadow. Tiberius starts out strong, just to end up a paranoid mess on the Isle of Capri. Caligula is a spoiled brat. Claudius emerges as a casually cruel man who used his infirmities as a way to keep his enemies off guard. And finally, Nero is portrayed as a frustrated artist whose subsequent reputation for cruelty may have been overstated by biased historians. The emperors are portrayed as being flawed humans who all, even Caligula, had potential to do good but who were ultimately corrupted by a society that treated them like Gods while also constantly plotting their downfall.

Laura Blond contributes chapters about life in ancient Rome. A chapter which examines a day in the life of a Roman citizen reveals not only the grandeur of Rome but also all the details that would have made me frightened to walk barefoot through the city. If you think the erratic emperors were frightening, just try to get through the chapter about Roman eating habits! Agck!

It makes for compulsive and occasionally gossipy reading. I’m a history nerd and I’m fascinated by the Roman Empire so I loved it.

International Horror Review: Jack The Ripper (dir by Jess Franco)

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In this 1976 German film, Klaus Kinski plays Dr. Dennis Orlof.

He’s a doctor in what is supposed to be Victorian-era London. (Some of the characters where Victorian-style clothes. Some of them definitely do not.) Dr. Orlof is known for being a kind and compassionate man. He has dedicated his life to taking care of the poor and the sick. He is one of the few doctors willing to take care of the men who fish on the Thames and the women who walk the foggy streets of Whitechapel. Because his patients are not rich, Dr. Orlof makes very little money. He is usually behind on paying the rent for his office but his lady doesn’t care. Dr. Orlof is such a kind man. Who could possibly even think of evicting a living saint?

Of course, what only he and his wife know is that Dr. Orlof is also a deviant who is haunted by hallucinations of a nearly naked woman taunting him and daring him to “come and get me.” Dr. Orlof haunts the sleazy dance halls of London and he often offers to give the dancers a ride in his carriage. Dr. Orlof is also the murderer who the press refers to as being Jack the Ripper.

Klaus Kinski as Jack the Ripper? That sounds like perfect casting, right? Actually, it’s too perfect. Klaus Kinski is so obviously unhinged from the first minute that he appears onscreen that it’s impossible to believe that he wouldn’t automatically be everyone’s number one suspect. Kinski plays Orlof as being someone who is in a permanently bad mood. Even when Orlof is doing his “good deeds,” he comes across as being so annoyed with the world that the viewer is left to wonder how anyone could have fallen for his act. Kinski himself seems a bit bored with the role. When Kinski was invested in a character (as he often was when he appeared in the films of Werner Herzog), he was a dangerously charismatic force of nature. When he was bored, though, Kinski made little effort to keep anyone else from noticing. Kinski moves lethargically through Jack the Ripper.

Trying to solve the Ripper case is Inspector Selby (Andreas Mannkopf). The film spends a lot of time on Selby’s investigation but it’s never as interesting as one might hope. Selby spends a lot of time in his office, looking concerned. When he actually talks to the witnesses to the Ripper’s murders, the scene seem to drag out forever. In one unfortunate scene, he gathers all the witnesses in one room and asks each one to describe what the Ripper looked like so a sketch can be made of him. Again, what should have been a minute or two-minute scene is dragged out to an unbearable seven minutes. Seven minutes is a lot of time when you’re bored.

Jack the Ripper was directed by Jess Franco. On this site, I’ve defended some of Franco’s other films. Franco was an idiosyncratic filmmaker whose films often felt rushed but who was also capable of creating a dream-like atmosphere and occasionally coming up with an insanely bizarre plot twist. Jack the Ripper, with its tormented title character and its dance hall scenes, in unmistakably a Jess Franco film. Unfortunately, it’s also often excruciatingly dull. Kinski was obviously a big name in Europe in the 70s but I kind of wish that Franco had cast his frequent star, Howard Vernon, as Jack the Ripper. Not only was Vernon the start of the original Awful Dr. Orlof but Vernon also specialized in playing self-loathing aristocrats. If nothing else, Vernon would have been a bit less oblivious in his madness than Kinski.

Jack the Ripper is definitely a lesser Franco film. It’s also a lesser Kinski film and a lesser Jack the Ripper film. There is one good sequence in which Orlof and a victim ride through the London fog in a carriage. Otherwise, this is a Franco film that you can get away with skipping.

4 Shots From 4 Horror Films: 2017

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

This October, I’m going to be doing something a little bit different with my contribution to 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films. I’m going to be taking a little chronological tour of the history of horror cinema, moving from decade to decade.

Today, we take a look at 2017!

4 Shots From 4 Horror Films: 2017

Get Out (2017, dir by Jordan Peele, DP: Toby Oliver)

It (2017, dir by Andy Muschietti, DP: Chung-hoon Chung)

mother! (2017, dir by Darren Aronofsky, DP: Matthew Libatique)

Twin Peaks: The Return Part 18 (2017, dir by David Lynch, DP: Peter Deming)

Horror Film Review: Night of Dark Shadows (dir by Dan Curtis)

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since I just reviewed House of Dark Shadows, it only makes sense to now take a look at 1971’s Night of Dark Shadows today!

While Night of Dark Shadows is not a direct sequel to the first film, it is still definitely a part of the same cinematic universe. There may not be any vampires in this film but it does take place in the same house and it features two members of the family that was decimated over the course of the previous film. At one point, it’s mentioned that Joan Bennett’s character from House of Dark Shadows died after the first film but no one goes into any details. I guess a vampire in the family is something that’s simply not discussed amongst polite company.

Night of Dark Shadows deals with Quentin (David Selby) and Tracy Collins (Kate Jackson). Quentin is an artist who confesses that he wasn’t particularly nice before he married Tracy. When they move into the Collins mansion, they bring two friends with them, Alex (John Karlen) and Claire (Nancy Barrett.) Interestingly enough, Karlen and Barrett both played different characters in House of Dark Shadows. Grayson Hall, who played Dr. Hoffman in House of Dark Shadows, also returns for Night of Dark Shadows. This time Hall is playing Carlotta Drake, the creepy housekeeper. (Needless to say, all mansions comes with a creepy housekeeper.)

Soon after everyone moves in, Quentin starts acting strangely. He becomes obsessed with the painting of a beautiful woman who was named Angelique (Lara Parker) and with the story that Angelique was hanged when it was discovered that she was having an affair with Quentin’s ancestor, Charles. (For his part, Charles was apparently walled up in the mansion. That sounds a bit extreme to me but I guess that’s the way they did things in the 19th century.) Quentin starts to have visions and nightmares involving his ancestor who, it turns out, looked exactly like him! Meanwhile, Carlotta and the groundskeeper, Gerard (Jim Storm), seem to be determined to make sure that Tracy doesn’t feel welcome in her new home. It’s almost as if they’re trying to drive everyone but Quentin away from the house.

Night of Dark Shadows is a much more polished film than House of Dark Shadows but it also unfolds at a far more leisurely pace. It lacks the relentless energy that distinguished House of Dark Shadows. This wouldn’t be as much of a problem if the plot itself wasn’t so totally predictable. From the minute that Quentin first sees that portrait of Angelique, you know that he’s going to get possessed and start acting strangely. There are a few atmospheric scenes but, for the most part, the film just doesn’t grab the viewer’s attention the way that House of Dark Shadows did.

On the plus side, David Selby is properly intense and brooding in the dual roles of Quentin and Charles Collins while Lara Parker does an equally good job as the wonderfully evil Angelique. Grayson Hall, who tended to go overboard in House of Dark Shadows, gives a much better and far more menacing performance here. Night of Dark Shadows isn’t a bad film. It’s just not a particularly memorable one.

Horror Film Review: House of Dark Shadows (dir by Dan Curtis)

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

There’s a lot that you can say about this vampire film from 1970 but I think it can all be summed up with one word: relentless.

A lot of this is because House of Dark Shadows is a film adaptation of a daytime drama. Over the course of six sesons, Dark Shadows ran for a total of 1,220 episodes. That’s a lot of story to cram into a 97-minute film but director Dan Curtis does just that. The end result is an incredibly busy film and I mean that in the best way possible.

Seriously, there are so many twists and turns in this film’s plot that it’s difficult to even know where to begin. This is one of the most incident-filled horror films that I’ve ever seen. No sooner does one plotline resolve itself than another begins. Meanwhile, a surprisingly large cast wanders through the shadows and tries not to get transformed into a vampire. Most of them do not succeed.

See if you can keep all of this straight:

In Maine, a lowlife handyman named Willie (John Karlen, giving the film’s best performance) breaks into a mausoleum and approaches a coffin that’s covered with chains. Willie thinks that there’s a treasure hidden in the coffin but, after he removes the chains, he instead discovers that he’s stumbled across the home of a vampire! Barnabas Collin (Jonathan Frid, who perfectly combines old world manners with thinly veiled menace) has spent 175 years trapped in that coffin and now that he’s been released, he’s not in a very good mood.

Soon, Barnabas has introduced himself to his descendants (including Joan Bennett, as Elizabeth, the family matriarch) as a cousin from England. Everyone is impressed with Barnabas’s charm and courtly style. Of course, some people are a little bit skeptical. Prof. Stokes (Thayer David) notices that Barnabas doesn’t seem to know much about London while Dr. Hoffman (Grayson Hall) flat out accuses Barnabas of being a vampire. Barnabas admits that this is true but fear not! Dr. Hoffman’s fallen in love with him and wants to help cure him.

Meanwhile, everyone in town is growing concerned about all of the bloodless bodies that are showing up. They especially get worried after Elizabeth’s daughter, Carolyn (Nancy Barrett), dies and then promptly comes back to life, complete with her own set of fangs….

While the town concerns itself with what to do about Carolyn, Barnabas has fallen in love with a nanny named Maggie (Kathryn Leigh Scott), who he thinks is the reincarnation of his former lover. Unfortunately, Maggie already has a boyfriend named Jeff (Roger Davis) but when has the ever been a problem for a vampire? Far more of a problem than Jeff is the fact that Willie is also in love with Maggie and Dr. Hoffman is so jealous of Barnabas’s love for Maggie that she’s willing to inject him with a formula that causes him to transform into an elderly man….

And all that’s just in the first hour!

Needless to say, it all leads to one final, gore-filled confrontation. When I say that this film is gory, I mean just that. Blood isn’t just spilled in House of Dark Shadows. Instead, it flows like water busting out of a cracked dam. When Barnabas bites a victim, he doesn’t just leave two neat little puncture marks. Instead, he literally rips their neck to shreds. Just how savage Barnabas and Carolyn get in this film is one of the things that sets House of Dark Shadows apart from other vampire films. As opposed to the type of tragic figure who shows up in so many vampire films, Barnabas is ruthless, cruel, and unforgiving. He’s a genuinely frightening creation.

House of Dark Shadows is a chaotic movie but it’s also a lot of fun. This is one of those films that you watch in amazement as it just keeps going and going, piling on one incident after another. Does the film always make sense? No, but it doesn’t have to. Quickly paced and featuring nonstop gore and fog, the film has a dream-like feel to it. Curtis and the cast attack the material with such unbridled enthusiasm that it doesn’t matter if the plot occasionally doesn’t always add up or if the dialogue is occasionally a bit clumsy. It’s impossible not to get swept along with the film’s insanity.

Probably because of its television roots, House of Dark Shadows is often dismissed by critics. (I’ve never seen any old episodes of the show so I can’t say how the movie compares to it.) Well, those dismissive critics are wrong. House of Dark Shadows is one of my favorite vampire films and it’s definitely one that deserves to be rediscovered.

(And yes, it’s a helluva lot better than that movie that Tim Burton made with Johnny Depp….)

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayThrillerClub, #FridayNightFlix, and #FridayHeretics For An Epic Live Tweet

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, I will filling in for Matthew Titus and hosting #FridayThrillerClub and #FridayHeretics as well! So, that’s going to be three live tweets in a row. What are we going to be watching? I’m glad you asked.

#FridayThillerClub starts at 7:30 pm et with 1987’s Angel Heart! Mickey Rourke is a detective. Robert De Niro is a very special client. This atmospheric and controversial mix of noir and horror was directed by Alan Parker!

#FridayNightFlix follows at 10 pm et, with 1981’s Full Moon High! In this comedy, a teen becomes a werewolf! You might even say that he’s a …. teen wolf!

Then, at 12:30 am et, it’s time for #FridayHeretics! This week’s film will be 1976’s Burnt Offerings, starring Oliver Reed, Karen Black, Bette Davis, and a house that just want stop killing.