A Smiling Woman Halloween, Dir. Alex Magana, Review by Case Wright

Posted on October 31, 2023 by casewright

So, this is how it ends. This has been a very challenging October. Midterms, illness, and despair…at least two of those things were caused by Alex Magana. I still don’t fully grasp his motivation to make terrible things. Is it money? No, I checked his revenue from YouTube. Alex Magana makes these terrible terrible things for the love of the game and that game is pain. I wonder if he edits his films cosplaying as Pinhead?

The premise is just so strange! A lady soon to be victim is seeing people cosplaying as the Smiling Woman. I don’t get it; cosplaying as the Smiling Woman is like cosplaying as Sam, my neighbor, who is a fine man in his own right, but doesn’t warrant any fanboys or fangirls. Although Sam is a bit edgy, I mean he does wait until Wednesday morning instead of Tuesday afternoon to bring his garbage cans back from the curb and we all know what that does…..a stern letter/reminder from the HOA….take that society!!! I’ll be seeing a number of Sam trick or treaters tonight with his signature polo shirt and jeans.

The soon to be new smiling woman starts getting the texts!!! Yes, that’s the life cycle of the creature. She slides into your DMs, breakdances, consumes you, and you …. yes you are the next Smiling Woman. Never mind that it violates the First Law of Thermodynamics – Conservation of Mass! You can read about that here and yes poop is discussed!

Smiling Woman 2, Review by Case Wright

Look, we’ve all done something that we’re not proud of and we must perform some sort of act of contrition. Yes, you deserve this….you know you do…yeah….that’s right….maybe watch it two times…Feel that SHAME!!!!

If a meme no one know falls in the woods…something something…I whimper alone on the floor.

Smiling Woman(s)? Review by Case Wright

Posted on October 16, 2022 by casewright

I get the idea of a franchise, but the underlying theme of a franchise is that the initial film was GOOD. Here, it’s all terrible and boring and dumb and terrible. Alex Magana, to my horror, did not just make a Smiling Woman 1&2…no no no no… he made:

Smiling Woman 3

Smiling Woman 4

Smiling Woman 5

Smiling Woman (animated)

Smiling Woman 6

Smiling Woman Story

This one I will watch – Smiling Woman Christmas.

Smiling Woman Christmas is it though. NO MORE! I just can’t review any more Alex Magana because it could encourage him. I think he could be like as long as people are talking about my art, I’ll keep doing it; I can’t responsible for that.

Smiling Woman Christmas is a full 4 minutes. We’re back at the same terrible train station. The soon to be victim is in Christmas Elf garb. There’s a lady in a yellow dress barefoot. Bleh. God, I hate it when people don’t wear shoes. That whole group of dirty footed people need to be stopped.

Anywho, the Smiling Woman gives her a present and then disappears. RUDE. Of course, she opens it it and it’s a ….. yellow dress.. DUN DUN DUN. The creepy texting starts. She still waits for her train. Then, the break dancing begins. Blah Blah Blah… she violates physics and absorbs her by destroying matter, which is impossible.

I am absolutely done with Alex Magana. I feel like I’m vaguely unclean in some way by watching his garbage trash. If you feel like watching this garbage trash, here you go….

Smiling Woman 2, Review by Case Wright

Posted on October 12, 2022 by casewright

Well Alex, here we are…again. I guess the demon-lady’s still smiling and will break dance her way into another murder-hug. Why can’t she visit me prior to watching this short? Come and get me!!!

We open with a parking garage and a business woman walking alone. Note: I can’t know this for sure without looking her up on imdb, but the actress seems really short. In fact, she doesn’t look much taller than the wastebasket next to the pillar in the parking garage.

I don’t know why Alex had the wastebasket in the shot; it gave her scale and made her so tiny. I will give Alex credit that he cast Ariel Fullinwider again, but now in the role of the smiling woman because it gives us the lifecycle of the creature. It goes around trying on flesh like “rent a runway”; so, it’s like a “rent a skin suit” *working corporate name*.

This whole skin suit thing doesn’t work for me in terms of Conservation of Mass, NO. Matter can neither be created or destroyed and this victim is really short; so, I don’t think the skin suit will work. Mathematically, it’s proven from this straight forward differential equation:

row= density, t= time, delta = divergence, and V= fluid velocity.

Basically, you can’t put a normal sized lady into smaller lady without it looking like a Michelin Man.

Alex could’ve called and we could’ve worked through these partial derivatives together. Listen, I know what some of you are saying:

Case, you could’ve just shown me a straight-forward integral:

The change in Mass (M) of the monster about absorb short-lady would have to expand in mass and it wouldn’t matter how long you took. Monster Smiling Lady + Short Lady = Bigger Monster Lady because the total mass can’t change. Maybe she pooped the little lady out? No, I tell you, NO because she’s going from big to small; there is NO WAY that little lady could poo that much skin suit wearing monster. It fails in so many ways.

Furthermore, the whole “Breakin 2” monster moves is weird and the second lady gets absorbed with a smile-face with no mathematical proof to undue my clear and exciting explanation above. Alex does not get to break a fundamental law of physics because he’s not good at things. I get it the monster’s gotta eat or whatever, but there’d still be leftovers- an “Ariel Fullinwider To Go bag” if you will. Alex- you’re on notice!

BOOM!

Smiling Woman, Review by Case Wright

Posted on October 11, 2022 by casewright

Alex Magana…we meet again. I get that you must punish me, but these actresses are sometimes pretty good, can’t you spare them? No? Fine. Smiling Woman… wait…. Alex, you made two of these “Smiling Woman” films?! On Purpose? This is gonna be a rough day.

A lady is waiting for public transportation, which is really a bad idea. The bright spot of this film is that it discourages the use of public transportation because some monster break dancer will murder you while wearing a summer dress. On that note, I’m all for it. You’re so much safer in a gas powered SUV – EVs stop working when its cold; so, a large SUV that gets 3 miles to the gallon will give you MAXIMUM SAFETY- That’s Just Science! Thanks, Alex! We agree.

The short opens with a commuter-lady waiting for an above ground subway and a casually dressed demon with a part/bangs-hybrid hairstyle decides that this is the evening to murder-hug a commuter. The demon has an off-the-shoulder thing working for her, but I don’t know if that’s an evil thing or a That’s So Last Season kinda thing.

You can be murdered in a lot of ways, I guess? We don’t really see the commuter-lady die, but at the very least she was hugged and NOT in the slap you on the back fun hug. It was a hug hug- the hug we now know is a prelude for murder….probably.