Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.6 “Beau’s Jest”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

This week, we learn how Beau became a Sweathog.

Episode 4.6 “Beau’s Jest”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on October 16th, 1978)

There’s a new student at Buchanan High!  His name is Beau DeLaBarre (Stephen Shortridge).  He’s handsome.  He’s blonde.  He’s charming.  He’s from New Orleans and speaks with a Southern accent.  He’s got a great smile.  He looks like he’s about 26 years old but that’s okay.  Most of his classmates look like they’re in their 30s.

Beau is a transfer student from New Orleans.  He comes to Buchanan after being kicked out of a series of different schools.  He’s a troublemaker!  Why, he might even become a Sweathog!  Unfortunately, he and Epstein take a dislike to each other.  Beau goes out with a girl Epstein likes.  Epstein staples Beau’s underwear and pants to the wall.  Beau walks down the hall wearing just a towel and the audience goes crazy.  (“Oh!” Horshack exclaims.)  Beau sets Epstein up with a dental hygienist and then tells Epstein that she’s married and her husband is looking to kill Epstein.  Why would a married woman be dating a remedial high school student?  It probably helps that Epstein looks like he’s about 40.

Anyway, after a stern talking to from Julie (who is working in the front office and who now has a really unflattering haircut), Beau realizes he was in the wrong.  He tells Epstein the truth.  But the hygienist’s boyfriend (Richard Moll) shows up and demands to see “Juan Epstein.”

“I’m Juan Epstein!” Beau declares.

Beau gets punched but he also wins the friendship of the Sweathogs….

If this all seems strange, it’s because it’s already been established, in the episode where the Sweathogs checked out Vinny’s new apartment, that Beau is a member of the Sweathogs.  That episode also established that both Gabe and Julie know Beau.  Obviously, Beau’s Jest was originally meant to air at the start of the season but the folks at the network decided it would be smarter to start the season with John Travolta instead of Stephen Shortridge.  I don’t blame them.

(Interestingly enough, the version of this episode on Prime includes a prologue where Beau and the Sweathogs are hanging out and Epstein says something like, “Remember when we first met?” and the rest of the episode plays out like a flashback.  When this episode was on Tubi, that prologue was not included.  So, who knows?  Maybe the prologue was something that was included for syndication or maybe when the episode aired in reruns.)

This episode …. ugh.  Barbarino is nowhere to be seen.  Gabe only appears for a few seconds.  There’s way too much of Julie acting like the “That’s Not Funny” meme.  Stephen Shortridge was not a bad actor and he was pleasant on the eyes but his character does not belong on a show about New York juvenile delinquents.  Apparently, the show wanted Barabrino’s replacement to be the opposite of Barbarino, in order to avoid people comparing the new guy to Travolta.  That wasn’t a bad idea but the show went too far in the other direction.

One final note: Welcome Back, Kotter is no longer on Tubi.  It’s available on Prime.  I had to pay two dollars to watch this.  I probably would have cut this episode a little more slack if I had watched it for free.  But for two bucks, I expect to at least feel like I got my money’s worth.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for The Witch!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Tim Buntley will be hosting #ScarySocial!  The movie?  2016’s The Witch!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

The Witch is available on Prime!

See you there

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.16 “Scarlet Cinema”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, a nerdy film students takes his love of a 1940s horror film too far!

Episode 2.16 “Scarlet Cinema”

(Dir by David Winning, originally aired on February 20th, 1989)

Darius Pogue (Jonathan Wise) is a nerdy film student who is obsessed with The Wolf Man.  When Darius steals an old antique movie camera, he discovers that, by looking through the camera’s view finder, he can bring The Wolf Man to life and send him to kill anyone who annoys him.  Darius kills a snooty antique store manager.  He kills a bully.  He kills his professor.  He even sends the wolf after Ryan and a girl that Darius likes.

However, as much as Darius enjoys sending the Wolf Man after people, he wants to be the Wolf Man himself.  After allowing the Wolf Man to scratch him, Darius shoots him with silver bullets.  Transforming into a werewolf himself, Darius goes after Ryan, Micki, and Jack.  Unfortunately, Darius didn’t consider that film stock is full of silver nitrate.  Live by the film, die by the film….

This episode was a case where the premise was pretty interesting but the execution didn’t quite work.  The episode mixes in archival footage from The Wolf Man with scenes of Darius’s victims meeting their fate.  So, for example, one sees Lon Chaney Jr. turning into the Wolf Man and then the viewer sees The Wolf Man killing one of Darius’s classmates.  The problem is that the Friday the 13th werewolf makeup doesn’t really look much like the Wolf Man makeup.  Regardless of how darkly lit each scene is, it’s pretty obvious that the Wolf Man from the film is not the same Wolf Man that is doing Darius’s bidding.  It not only negates the whole idea behind the cursed antique but it’s also pretty distracting for those of us just trying to watch the show.  And, again, it’s a shame because the idea behind this episode was actually pretty clever.

Myself, I’ve always liked the original Wolf Man.  Eventually, Larry Talbot got a bit too whiny for his own good and it’s pretty much impossible to buy the idea of the hulking, very American Lon Chaney, Jr. as the son of the sophisticated and very British Claude Rains.  But, even with all that in mind, The Wolf Man holds up as a classic American horror film, full of atmosphere and featuring a pretty impressive monster.  Friday the 13th deserves some credit for making Darius a Wolf Man fan because The Wolf Man, with its portrait of a man being driven mad by a curse that he cannot control, fits in perfectly with the main idea behind Friday the 13th.  Darius, like most of the villains on this show, isn’t really evil until he starts using the camera.  Each times he picks up the camera, his actions become progressively worse.  Just as Larry Talbott was cursed by the werewolf, Darius is cursed by the camera.  Much like a drug addict, Darius falls in love with the camera and he just can’t stop using it.  His addiction changes his personality as it becomes all-consuming,.  Eventually, it drives him to become the Wolf Man himself.

The episode ends with another cursed antique safely hidden away and Darius joining Larry Talbot in the cold embrace of death.  There was a lot of potential to this episode so it’s a shame that it didn’t quite work.

The Films of 2024: Gary (dir by Robin Dashwood)


Wow, what a depressing documentary!

I’m taking about Gary, which is currently streaming on Peacock.  Gary tells the story of former child actor-turned-security guard Gary Coleman, who went from being one of the top stars in television to eventually struggling to pay the bills.  The documentary tells the story of Coleman’s life, from his start as a cute kid with a mischievous smile to his stardom, his health struggles, and the controversy over why all the money that he made as a child eventually disappeared.  Gary blamed his parents.  His parents blamed Gary’s managers.  The woman who eventually married Gary blamed everyone.  Gary, himself, ended up as tabloid fodder, in which he was treated as not only being the poster child for the problems that young stars encounter but in which he was also regularly ridiculed for having those exact same problems.  Watching the documentary, one gets the feeling that the world took an odd joy in Gary Coleman’s downfall.  Coleman himself died under mysterious circumstances and the documentary, though even-handed, leaves one feeling that there’s definitely a lot about his death that could stand to be examined.

Gary Coleman’s stardom was a bit before my time, though I have seen a few episodes of Diff’rent Strokes online.  The show, to be honest, always seems a bit cringey to me but, still, it’s obvious that Coleman was a capable actor even when he was having to repeat the catch phrases that he came to hate.  Unfortunately, his kidney problem stunted his growth and, as he got older, the acting opportunities dried up.  He was reduced to parodying his former stardom, appearing on talk shows and sitcoms and repeating, “What you talkin’ about” to anyone who asked.  The documentary was painfully sad to watch.  Gary Coleman definitely comes across as being a bit of an eccentric but it’s hard not to feel that he never allowed to grow up and that the people who should have been looking out for him, like his parents and his manager and his wife, were only looking out for themselves.

The film features interviews with the people who failed Coleman.  None of them really take any sort of responsibility for their actions.  At first, his wife comes across like she really cared about him but, as the documentary progresses, we hear too many stories about her abusing and manipulating him to take anything she says at face value.  When she sells a picture of Coleman on his death bed to a tabloid, that’s pretty much last straw as far as any sympathy for her is concerned.  Coleman’s business manager also initially comes across as being genuine and sincere but, again, there are just too many stories of misusing Coleman’s money.  If he doesn’t seem to be as ruthlessly mercenary as Coleman’s wife, it’s still obvious that he shouldn’t have been managing Coleman’s career.  As for Coleman’s parents, the less said about them the better.  Everyone that is interviewed is very good at blaming someone else for what happened after Coleman’s stardom ended.

Again, this was depressing documentary.  Watching this, I really felt bad about Gary Coleman.  It’s hard to know what to do about child stars.  On the one hand, there are child stars who grow up to lead what appear to be perfectly normal and stable lives.  But, there’s also a lot like Gary Coleman, whose lives are pretty much destroyed by their early success.  No kid should be supporting their family.  And no family should be paying their bills exclusively with their kid’s salary.  To me, it all comes down to the parents.  You can’t depend on an industry to raise your child for you.  In the end, though, Coleman was let down by a lot of people.  There’s more than enough blame to go around.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.21 “The Little Prince”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, T and T comes to an end.

Episode 3.21 “The Little Prince”

(Dir by Ken Girotti, originally aired on May 26th, 1990)

The Sultan (Fareed Ahmed) of the tiny island nation of Domain has come to Canada or wherever the Hell this show is supposed to be taking place so that he can announce that he is bringing democracy to his nation.  Yay!  Democracy rules!  However, the Sultan is also bringing along his bratty 12 year-old son, the Prince (Marlow Vella).  Out of everyone that he could have hired, he selected Terri and T.S. Turner to look after the Prince.

Unfortunately, a gangster named Don Giovanni wants to kidnap the Prince.  Fortunately, Don Giovanni has hired recurring crooks Fritz (Dominic Cuzzocrea) and Nobby (Avery Saltzman) to handle the abduction.  Why any reputable gangster would hire Fritz and Nobby, I don’t know.  Fritz and Nobby have appeared in several episodes of this show and they have never came close to pulling off any of their schemes.  As usual, Turner is able to easily defeat Fritz and Nobby and, oddly, there doesn’t seem to be hard feelings.  With all of the times that Turner has captured Fritz and Nobby, you do have to wonder why the two of them are never in jail.

This was the last episode of T and T.  Not only did it end season 3 but it ended the show itself.  The show ends without anyone ever asking what happened to Amy or any of the other supporting characters who came and went over the past three seasons.  The continuity of this show was always a mess.  That’s especially clear in this episode.  Turner has to tell Terri who Fritz and Nobby are, despite the fact that Terri has met them at least twice before.  I’m going to guess this episode was probably meant to air earlier in the season.  Either that or the show’s writers just didn’t care.

For a show that started off as the story of streetwise guy who was unjustly imprisoned for murder, T and T certainly ended on a silly and rather inconsequential note.  I mean, don’t get me wrong.  It’s a Canadian detective show that starred Mr. T.  Obviously, T and T was never meant to be taken seriously.  The show didn’t need an epic finale but still, I always feel like the final episode of the show should at least wrap things up.  The final episode is the equivalent of a final chapter.  Its the show’s chance to leave the viewers with one final thought or to at least acknowledge everything that led up to the end.  It’s always a bit sad when any show — even something like T and T — doesn’t get a chance to do that.

Now that it’s over, what can I say about T and T?  There were a few entertaining episodes.  Mr. T didn’t have much range an actor but he was still a big personality and his “don’t be a criminal” speeches were earnest delivered.  The show worked better with Amy than Terri.  The first season was the show’s strongest.  Things went downhill afterwards.  By the third season, Mr. T seemed bored with the whole thing.

Anyway, I’m done with T and T!  To be honest, there were times when I felt like I would never finish this show.  This is probably one of the most obscure pieces of entertainment that I’ve ever reviewed on the Shattered Lens but that’s what I’m here for.  I like reviewing the shows and the movies that have been overlooked or otherwise forgotten.

Next week, I’ll be reviewing a new show in this time slot.  What will that show be?

Uhmm …. I’ll let you know as soon as I figure it out myself!

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix For Adventureland!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on Twitter and Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, #FridayNightFlix presents 2009’s Adventureland!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Adventureland is available on Prime!  See you there!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.23 “Children’s Children”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark find themselves in a Douglas Sirk-style melodrama.

Episode 2.23 “Children’s Children”

(Dir by Victor French, originally aired on April 30th, 1986)

When I watched this episode, I saw that the script was credited to David Thoreau and I immediately assumed that it had to be a pseudonym for the actual writer.  Fortunately, for once, I actually did some research and I discovered that the writer’s name actually was David Thoreau.  He wrote a few scripts that were produced in the 80s and 90s and, in fact, this was the first of seven scripts that he wrote for Highway to Heaven.  He’s also credited as writing the screenplay for the classic beach volleyball film, Side Out.

As for this episode, it finds Mark and Jonathan working at a home for unwed mothers.  Just the term “home for unwed mothers” brings to mind the 50s melodramas of Douglas Sirk and I found myself thinking about just how old-fashioned Highway to Heaven must have seemed even in the 80s.  I did a google search and I discovered that homes from unwed mothers do still exist, though they’re now called “maternity homes.”

The manager of the home for unwed mothers is Joyce Blair (Bibi Besch), who finds herself being hounded by a reporter named Dan Rivers (Robert Lipton).  Dan is determined to take Joyce down and, to do so, he brings up a past incident in which Joyce was arrested.  Dan twists the facts to make Joyce look like a criminal and soon, Joyce finds that she might not be able to keep the home open.  Why is Dan doing this?  Like most reporters on Highway to Heaven, he’s just plain evil.  But when one of the girls at the home suggests that Dan might be the father of her child, Dan learns what it’s like to be falsely accused.

Meanwhile, evil businessman Jack Brent (James T. Callahan) hopes for a chance to foreclose on the home so that he can bulldoze it and replace it with condominiums.  (Bad guys in the 80s always wanted to build condos.)  But how will he react when he discovers that his teenage son (Scott Coffey) is going to be a father and that the girl he impregnated in currently living at the home?

This episode is the type of episode that most people think of when they dismiss Highway to Heaven as just being an old-fashioned and slightly preachy melodrama.  There’s not a single subtle moment or particularly nuanced moment to be found in this particular episode.  It’s note quite as heavy-handed as that episode where Mark begged the President to talk to the Russians and reduce amount of nuclear missiles but it’s close.

Here’s The Trailer For Paddington In Peru


We’ve just devoted a month to horror here at the Shattered Lens.

However, even we will admit that there are good films are not horror films.  For instance, there are the films that have been made about an adorable bear named Paddington.  Paddington’s latest adventure is Paddington in Peru, which features him traveling to …. well, it’s right there in the title.

Here’s the latest trailer for Paddington in Peru!