Author Archives: Jedadiah Leland

Meet Wally Sparks (1997, directed by Peter Baldwin)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Wally Sparks (Rodney Dangerfield) is a talk show host with a program that is so raunchy that even Jerry Springer says, “At least this isn’t The Wally Sparks Show!”

Despite being a huge hit amongst teens and college students, the show is on the verge of being canceled by the head of the network, Mr. Spencer (Burt Reynolds, wearing a fearsome toupee).  He is tired of Wally’s antics and he tells Wally and his producer, Sandy Gallo (Debi Mazar), that they have a week to make the show respectable.

Wally doesn’t know what to do.  Wally Sparks act respectable?  Wally’s a guy who don’t get no respect, no respect at all.  Then Sandy finds a letter inviting Wally to attend a party at the home of Georgia Governor Floyd Patterson (David Ogden Stiers), a noted critic of the show.  Hoping to get the interview that will save the show, Wally and Sandy head down south.

At the party, Wally acts like Wally and scandalizes all of the politicians and socialites.  He also shares a bottle of whiskey with a horse and then rides the horse through the mansion.  The party is a disaster but, after Wally claims that he can’t walk because of a spinal injury he suffered when he fell off the horse, the Governor allows him to recuperate in the mansion.  Wally causes more chaos while also teaching the Governor’s wife (Cindy Williams) how to play strip poker and eventually exposing a scheme to blackmail the Governor into building  a Confederate-themed amusement park.

Rodney Dangerfield playing a talk show host sounds like a great idea and there are a lot of talented people to be found in Meet Wally Sparks.  Debi Mazar is an actress who should have appeared in a lot more movies and she and Rodney Dangerfield make a good team.  The movie actually gets off to a funny start, with a montage of actual talk show hosts talking about how much they hate Wally Sparks and his show.  Gilbert Gottfried has a cameo as a manic guest and Wally repeats some of Rodney Dangerfield’s classic jokes.

Unfortunately, the movie starts to fall apart as soon as Burt Reynolds threatens to cancel the show for being too lowbrow.  No network executive has ever threatened to cancel a show that’s bringing in the ratings, regardless of how lowbrow it might be.  Things get even worse after Wally goes to Atlanta and ends up staying there.  The movie tries to recreate the Snobs vs. the Slobs dynamic of previous Dangerfield films but the Governor comes across as being such a decent man that there’s no joy to be found in watching his life get turned upside down.  The movie has a surprisingly large number of subplots, including one about Wally’s son (Michael Weatherly) falling for the Governor’s daughter (Lisa Thornhill), but most of them go nowhere and just distract from the man who should have been the film’s main attraction, Rodney Dangerfield.  By the end of the movie, even the usually irrepressible Dangerfield seems to have been neutered.

Rodney Dangerfield was a national treasure but Meet Wally Sparks was not the best showcase for his persona or his style of humor.  Fortunately, Caddyshack and Back To The School are available to watch anytime that we need a good laugh and we want to show Rodney Dangerfield a little respect.

Music Video of the Day: God Save The Queen, covered by Motorhead (2000, directed by Vanessa Warwick and Justin B. Murphy)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

In this video, Motörhead covers the classic Sex Pistols song while touring London with the Queen, herself!  Actually, it’s just a lookalike but it’s still interesting how, in just a few years, God Save The Queen went from being a scandalous and dangerous song to being an unofficial anthem of the UK.

For the record, John Lyndon and Glen Matlock have both said that the song was not meant to be an attack on Elizabeth as much as on the idea of spending tax money to support the monarchy.  Sex Pistols guitarist Steve Jones was quoted as saying that the song was not really political but that it was just “a giggle.”

Enjoy!

Belly 2: Millionaire Boyz Club (2008, directed by Ivan Frank)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

After being incarcerated for 8 years, G (The Game) is released from prison.  As a condition of his parole, he is told to get a job and not hang out with any of his old criminal associates.

G fails to get a job.

G decides to return to selling drugs with his old criminal associate, Tone (Michael K. Williams).

Soon, G is the third biggest drug dealer in the city.  Corrupt cop Coleman (Ed O’Ross) is working with the Mexican cartel and he wants to take G down.  DEA agent Alexis (Shari Headley) is sent undercover to get evidence on G.  After a montage of the two of them going on romantic walks, having sex, and playing dominoes, they fall in love for real.  Alexis has to decide if she is willing to betray G and G eventually has to decide if he can forgive her for being a cop.

The big problem with this entire scenario is that G is on probation so he could be arrested and sent back to jail at any time, either for not getting a job or for spending all of his time with Tone.  There’s no reason to go through all the trouble of sending in Alexis and having her risk her life to find proof of G’s wrongdoing.  G should have been busted and sent back to jail as soon as he said hello to Tone.  Even if there was some reason why the cops didn’t want to bust him for not getting a job, G is shooting people in the middle of the street.  G is not a master criminal.  He should not be that hard to bust.

The Game is a talented rapper and a terrible actor.  Whatever charisma he has on stage disappears as soon as he gets in front of a camera and tries to show emotion.  The late and much missed Michael K. Williams is better as Tone but he deserved better than supporting roles in straight-to-video shlock like this.  Williams’s Wire co-star, Felecia Pearson, has a pointless cameo.  Ed O’Ross bulges his eyes and gives the type of sweaty performance that feels more appropriate for a silent movie.

As you probably guessed, this film has nothing to do with the original Belly.  There’s a lot of slow motion gunfights and talk about respect and money.  It feels almost like a parody of a hood film, right down to the final act of violence.

Music Video of the Day: Alone Again by Dokken (1985, directed by Wayne Isham)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Bringing to life one of the best metal power ballads of the 80s, Alone Again alternates between scenes of Don Dokken performing before a crowd and sitting alone in his hotel room.  Even though Dokken can control the stage and stand in front of thousands of fans, he still feels alone afterwards.

This video was directed by Wayne Isham, who was one of those directors who worked with everyone who was anyone.

Enjoy!

The Lone Hand Texan (1947, directed by Ray Nazarro)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Oil’s been discovered on the Texas frontier and Sam Jason (Fred Sears) has got the rights to several wells.  Someone in town keeps sabotaging his operations and blowing up his oil wells.  Sam sends a telegram to his old friend, Steve Driscoll (Charles Starrett).  Steve shows up in town to help Sam set up his business.  Meanwhile, Steve’s alter ego, the masked Durango Kid, works to discover who has been targeting Sam.

This is actually more of a Smiley Burnette movie than a Durango Kid film.  As always, Smiley is the Kid’s sidekick in the movie.  Smiley owns a general store and he’s the towns postmaster.  Everywhere Smiley goes, he is followed by two musicians, Mustard and Gravy.  Smiley sings even more songs than usual in this movie and he even has a brief romance with the local widow (Mary Newton), who unfortunately is also behind the efforts to drive Sam out of business.  Smiley may be the sidekick but he gets more screentime than the Durango Kid in The Lone Hand Texan and he does a mighty fine job with it.

One of the curious things about The Lone Hand Texan is that one of the bad guys also decides to wear a mask and claim to be The Durango Kid.  I wish the movie has done more with that because I have never really understood why Steve feels like he has to pretend to be Durango in the first place.  It’s not as if it’s difficult to recognize Steve, even when he’s wearing a mask.  I have never understood why no one in his movies ever notices that you never see Steve and the Durango Kid in the same place at the same time.  Even Lois Lane should have been able to figure out Durango’s secret identity.

The Lone Hand Texas is a standard Durango Kid outing, albeit not as dependent on stock footage as some of Durango’s other films.  Smiley gets to do more than usual, which is the only thing that really sets it apart.  As with most of the Durango Kid films, it will be best appreciated by those who are already fans.

Music Video of the Day: Stranger In A Strange Land by Iron Maiden (1986, directed by Julian Caidan)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

You can count me amongst those who used to assume that this song was one of the many heavy metal songs to be inspired by a classic work of science fiction.  After all, the song shares its title with Robert A. Heinlein’s classic novel.

However, the song has nothing to do with Heinlein’s novel.  Instead, it is about an Arctic explorer who falls into the ice and whose frozen body is found 100 years later.  It was inspired by a conversation that Adrian Smith had with an actual explorer who once discovered a body preserved in the Arctic ice.

Julian Caidan also directed the video for Robert Palmer’s Early In The Morning.

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: Conquer or Die by Megadeth (2016, directed by Blair Underwood)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

This video is just Megadeth doing what Megadeth does best.

The Blair Underwood who directed this video is the same Blair Underwood who co-starred in L.A. Law and several subsequent films.  They seem like an unlikely combination, as Underwood was outspoken in his support of President Obama while Dave Mustaine was definitely not.  However, this is actually just one of several videos that Underwood did with Megadeth.  Music brings us all together.

Enjoy!

Cyclone Fury (1951, directed by Ray Nazarro)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Brock Masters (Mark Roberts) has been awarded a contract to supply the army with horses.  Corrupt businessman Grat Hanlon (Clayton Moore) wants that contract for himself so he sends his henchmen to kill Brock.  Because Brock has no known relatives, Grat believes that both the horses and the contract will soon be his.

However, Brock does have an heir!  He adopted an Indian child named Johnny (Louis Lettieri).  Johnny inherits the contract and both the Durango Kid (Charles Starrett) and Smiley Burnett are going to make sure that Johnny is able to deliver the horses.  Smiley is also going to find some time to sing some songs that have even less to do with the story than usual.

Cyclone Fury was one of the later entries in the Durango Kid series.  By the time it was made, Colombia was no longer willing to spend much money on the series so that majority of the film’s action scenes are lifted from other Durango Kid movies.  If you’ve never seen another Durango Kid movie, the action scenes are exciting and feature some impressive stunts.  If you have seen another Durango Kid movie, this one is going to seem really familiar.

For western fans, the main appeal here will be seeing Clayton Moore playing a bad guy.  Moore had already played The Lone Ranger when he appeared in this movie.  At the time Cyclone Fury was made, Moore had been unceremoniously fired from his most famous role and The Lone Ranger was being played by John Hart.  Hart would only last a season and Moore would subsequently be invited back to play the role that defined his career.  As for Cyclone Fury, Moore is convincing as Grat, though the character himself is just a typical Durango Kid bad guy.  The Durango Kid was always going up against seemingly respectable businessmen who were actually outlaws.

One final note: Moore’s Lone Ranger co-star, Jay Silverheels, appears in this film but only in archival footage from an early adventure of The Durango Kid.

Music Video of the Day: Wild Child by W.A.S.P. (1985, directed by Rick Friedberg)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

In this video for Wild Child, Blackie Lawless follows one woman through the desert, just for her to always disappear when he gets too close.  Maybe she knows that W.A.S.P. and Blackie Lawless were among the top targets of Tipper Gore’s anti-rock campaign in the 80s.  Supposedly, at the heyday of Gore’s crusade, venues that booked W.A.S.P. would get bomb threats while the members of the band were themselves receiving death threats.  Someone even tried to shoot Blackie Lawless.

(Ironically, Blackie Lawless was raised in the church and is reportedly even more of a Christian than Tipper Gore was at the time she was accusing W.A.S.P. of corrupting America’s youth.)

This video was directed by Rick Friedberg, who went from working with W.A.S.P. to working with Leslie Nielsen on several projects.

Enjoy!