Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

The Love Boat promises something for everyone!

Episode 5.7 “The Lady from Laramie/Vicki Swings/Phantom Bride”

(Dir by Jack Arnold, originally aired on November 14th, 1981)

As I did with this week’s episodes of Miami Vice, CHiPs, and Fantasy Island, I’m going to save time by doing this one bullet point style.

• Before getting to the storylines, I want to point out that this week’s episode was directed by Jack Arnold.  Jack Arnold may not be a household name but he directed some of this site’s favorite science fiction and monster movies, including Tarantula, The Incredible Shrinking Man, It Came From Outer Space, and The Creature From The Black Lagoon!
• As always, this cruise presents us with three stories.  One of the three stories definitely does benefit from Arnold’s macabre touch.  Juliet Mills and Buddy Hackett play Kate and Julian Garfield, who are married psychic researchers.  The board the boat in search of a ghost.  Captain Stubing doesn’t believe in ghosts and good for him!  (Neither do I!)  However, Gopher is totally convinced and he’s soon wandering around the boat with a bunch of garlic hanging around his neck.  Gopher, they’re looking for ghosts, not vampires!
• At one point, Gopher is convinced that he’s managed to take a picture of a ghost but it’s actually just Kate looking through a porthole.
• I have to admit that I groaned a bit when I saw that Juliet Mills was going to, once again, be a passenger on The Love Boat.  But then I remembered that Hayley is the Mills sister that gets on my nerves.  Juliet and Buddy Hackett had a surprising amount of chemistry.  They were likable together.
• It is kind of funny that there are certain guest stars — like Juliet Mills — who show up over and over again but who always play different characters.  I’m always waiting for someone on the boat to be like, “Hey, weren’t you here last week?”
• The least interesting story featured Nancy Dussault as a plain-spoken (or maybe just annoying) widow from Wyomin’ who fell in love with an Italian gigolo (Cesare Danova) who was on the boat with a rich socialite (Marti Stevens).  Cesare Danova played the mob boss in Mean Streets and the mayor in Animal House.  He did not look happy at all to be on The Love Boat.
• Poor Vicki!  In this episode, 14 year-old Vicki pretended to be 18 in an attempt to flirt with Todd Andrews (Patrick Labyroteaux), a teenager who was traveling by himself.  The Captain grew very worried about Vicki, especially after he heard Todd suggesting that he and Vicki had fooled around late into the night.  (Todd was lying and, oddly enough, everyone seemed to be strangely forgiving of Todd’s actions.)
• At one point, The Captain tells Vicki that he wanted her to spend time with people her own age.  Vicki replies that she was the only fourteen year-old on the ship.  And, seriously, Vicki has a point.
• Vicki living on the ship has always seemed kind of strange to me and I always appreciate the episodes that try to honestly deal with the situation.  How can you not have mixed feelings about spending your teen years on a boat, largely surrounded by people who are quite a bit older than you?  That said, Gavin MacLeod was always at his best when he was playing Stubing as a father and Jill Whelan was refreshingly non-cutesy in the role of Vicki.  As a result, you couldn’t help but feel that, ultimately, the Captain and his daughter were right where they belonged.
• This was an okay cruise.  The ghost storyline was fun.  MacLeod and Whelan tugged at the heartstrings.  When it comes to good stories on The Love Boat, two out of three is not bad at all!

Next week — The Love Boat goes on a Thanksgiving cruise!  (If only I had started reviewing The Love Boat a week earlier than I did, the timing would have been perfect.)  ‘Til then, set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance….