Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, an detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

This week, Baywatch Nights reboots for the first time and gets a brand new opening.

Episodes 1.11 “Takeover”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on February 3rd, 1996)

This week’s episode opens with Mitch arriving at Nights early in the morning.  Ryan and Garner are waiting for him and so are all of the club’s waitresses.  Some expositional dialogue establishes that Lou Raymond has sold Nights to “D.M. Marco.”  The waitresses are waiting to see if they still have jobs.  Ryan, Garner, and Mitch are waiting so that they can re-sign a lease for their detective agency….

Eleven episodes into the first season and Baywatch Nights has already rebooted itself!  It’s usually not a good sign when a show drastically changes its format or starts writing out old characters and replacing them with new people.  Usually, when this happens, it’s because the show’s rating have suddenly declined and the producers are desperately trying to inject some new life into things.  It’s never a good sign when something like this happens before the first season is even halfway finished.

As Mitch waits, a blonde wearing a short but not particularly flattering blue dress steps into the club.  Mitch assumes that she’s a waitress and starts hitting on her.  Ha ha!  Joke’s on you, Mitch!  She’s Donna Marco (Donna D’Errico) and she’s your new landlord and a new regular on the show!  Mitch is stunned to discover that women can be successful in business.  This kind of goes against everything that the viewer has previously learned about Mitch but whatever.  It’s a reboot!  It’s a new world!  And now Mitch is apparently one of those guys who is left with his mouth agape over the idea of a woman being the boss.

As for this week’s case, it’s also about business.  Someone is targeting the executives of a company called Rancor.  Two of those executives went to high school with Mitch so he’s not going to let anyone kill them.  That said, a lot of executives who don’t have a previous Mitch connection do end up dying.  In fact, this episode has the highest body count of Baywatch Nights so far.  At first, Mitch assumes that the murders are being orchestrated by a corporate raider who wants to take over the business and who has apparently never learned how to buy stock.  But instead, the murderer turns out to be a blonde executive named Nicki (Sandra Hess), who blames the company for death of her father.  Despite her murderous ways, there are some sparks of romance between Nicki and Mitch but that comes to an end when Nicki blows herself up while trying to take out the final Rancor executive.

This was a weird episode, as the pacing felt off and the story was far more violent than any of the ones that came before it.  At one point, Mitch gets a favor from an IRS agent by promising him a date with Donna and that just felt really icky.  There’s another extended scene where both a businessman and the show’s cameraman spends several minutes leering at Ryan’s legs and again, it just felt off.  Previously, the show had never been shy about showing off Angie Harmon’s legs and, speaking as someone who enjoys showing off her own legs, there’s nothing wrong with that but, in this particular episode, it crosses the line from being appreciative to being tacky.  One could tell that the show’s producers brainstormed and couldn’t come up with anything better than, “Let’s make Baywatch Nights more like Baywatch!”

What’s sad is that Baywatch Nights really didn’t need a reboot.  The first ten episodes were, for the most part, fun and entertaining in their vapid way.  This episode, though, feels like it’s begging for attention and that’s never a good look.  Don’t worry, though.  Not all reboots are bad, as we’ll see in another 11 episodes.  That is when we will reach season 2 of Baywatch Nights.