2012’s The Dead Want Women opens in 1927.

At her luxurious Hollywood mansion, silent film star Rose Pettigrew (Jean Louise O’Sullivan) is throwing a party to celebrate the release of her new film.  While her guests gossip about whether or not the coming of sound is going to end Rose’s career (since Rose’s voice does not fit her sultry image), Rose and three of her friends — cowboy star Sonny (Eric Roberts), scarred leading man Eric Burke (Robert Zachar), and overweight comedian  Tubby (Nihilist Gelo) — slip into Rose’s underground dungeon and have an orgy with two flappers.  Tubby has just murdered one of the flappers when Rose’s lawyer interrupts the orgy and announces that 1) Rose’s new film is a flop, 2) audiences love the new talkie, 3) the studio will no longer be producing silent films, and 4) Rose no longer has a contract with the studio.  The shocked Rose shoots all of her friends and then slits her own throat in front of her horrified guests.

The film then jumps forward to 2012.  Two real estate agents, Reese (Jessica Morris) and Danni (Arianna Medix), are getting the long-abandoned mansion ready for a prospecting buyer.  They clean the mansion.  They find Rose’s old necklace (which fell from her neck when she slit her throat), and they have a bottle of wine.  Reese explains who Rose was while Danni says that she hates silent films.  That night, the ghosts of Sonny, Eric, Tubby, and one of the flappers suddenly appear, looking to haunt the two real estate agent and ultimately drag them to Hell with all the other tormented spirits of silent Hollywood!

The Dead Want Women attempts to be a campy throwback to the old haunted house films of the 40s and the 50s, just with a lot more gore and nudity.  Unfortunately, the film itself is rather slow.  The 1927 opening drags on forever and, at one point, I actually groaned when Rose told her weaselly agent to repeat what he had just told her because it literally took five minutes for him to say it beforehand.  As a lover of old Hollywood and film history, I appreciated the fact that the film used the coming of sound as the impetus for the haunting and I also liked the fact that the lecherous Tubby was obviously based on Fatty Arbuckle but otherwise, there really wasn’t much to The Dead Want Women.  It was a standard Charles Band ghost story, with the emphasis more on boobs than scares.

On the plus side, Eric Roberts was an effectively evil cowboy ghost and some of the rotting flash makeup that was used on the ghosts was properly icky.  But otherwise, this is a pretty forgettable film.  Sorry, The Dead Want Women.  You are not ready for your close-up.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

1. Star 80 (1983)
2. Blood Red (1989)
3. The Ambulance (1990)
4. The Lost Capone (1990)
5. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
6. Love Is A Gun (1994)
7. Sensation (1994)
8. Dark Angel (1996)
9. Doctor Who (1996)
10. Most Wanted (1997)
11. Mr. Brightside (2004)
12. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
13. Hey You (2006)
14. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
15. Enemies Among Us (2010)
16. The Expendables (2010) 
17. Sharktopus (2010)
18. Deadline (2012)
19. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
20. Lovelace (2013)
21. Self-Storage (2013)
22. This Is Our Time (2013)
23. Inherent Vice (2014)
24. Road to the Open (2014)
25. Rumors of War (2014)
26. Amityville Death House (2015)
27. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
28. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
29. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
30. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
31. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
32. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
33. Dark Image (2017)
34. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
35. Clinton Island (2019)
36. Monster Island (2019)
37. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
38. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
39. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
40. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
41. Free Lunch Express (2020)
42. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
43. Top Gunner (2020)
44. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
45. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
46. Killer Advice (2021)
47. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
48. A Town Called Parable (2021)
49. My Dinner With Eric (2022)