In 1978, KISS appeared to have it all.  The band was famous for both their makeup and their anthemic stadium rock.  They had just released not only a new studio album but also four solo albums.  They had starred in their own Marvel comic and gained notoriety for supposedly allowing their blood to mixed in with the comic’s ink.  Teenagers loved KISS and parents and religious leaders feared that the band’s name stood for Knights In Satan’s Service.  KISS had everything except for motion picture stardom.

KISS Meets The Phantom Of The Park was supposed to change that.  The film starred Anthony Zerbe as Abner Devereaux, an engineer and an expert at animatronics who loses his job at Magic Mountain and seeks revenge by using robot versions of KISS to drive the audience of their concert to riot.  Fortunately, the real members of KISS are not just rock stars but also alien beings who descend from the heavens and shoot lightning bolts from their eyes.  (Gene Simmons can breathe fire.)  The real KISS isn’t going to allow their fan to be manipulated by a robot version of the band, which leads to a battle between KISS and the robots that protect Abner’s underground lair.

KISS Meets The Phantom of the Park aired on NBC on October 28th, 1978.  It was later given a theatrical release in Europe, where it was re-edited and retitled Attack of the Phantom.  Since then, it has become a very difficult film to see.  (On Amazon, old VHS copies go for several hundred dollars.)  One reason why the movie is so hard to see is because the members of the KISS hated the movie and felt that they were portrayed as being clowns instead of super heroes.  Even though the members of the band have since mellowed out about the film (with Gene Simmons suggesting it should be viewed on a double bill with Plan 9 From Outer Space), KISS Meets The Phantom Of The Park is still a film that is more talked about than actually watched.

While looking for clips of the movie on YouTube, I came across an upload of the entire film.  The only problem was that all of the dialogue was dubbed into German and that’s not a language that I speak.  Still, figuring that you have to take your opportunities when they’re available, I decided to watch.  I figured that the dialogue might not actually be that important and it wasn’t.  I was able to follow the plot just fine.  (The only weird thing about watching the move in German was listening to the members of the band speak in something other than a New York accent.)  Fortunately, there’s actually more singing than talking in Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park and the songs are untouched and in English.  KISS plays Magic Mountain in the film and they actually performed a real concert for filming.  Those are real fans of the band going crazy whenever Gene Simmons sticks out his tongue.

The movie itself is definitely a product of its time and not meant to be taken seriously.  The members of KISS are both aliens that descend from the heavens and rock musicians and they are never seen without their makeup.  Even when they’re hanging out at a hotel pool, they are in full costume and they’re wearing their makeup. When the members of the band enter the Phantom’s underground lab, they have to fight a series of very 70s robots, including some that know karate and two who have lightsabers.  For better or worse, it’s a very silly move that epitomizes an era.  The special effects are cheesy, the members of the band often look straight at the camera, and the rest of the cast does what they can with what they’ve been given.  Anthony Zerbe plays the Phantom with a hint of empathy while Deborah Ryan is the ingenue who searched for her missing boyfriend while Beth plays on the soundtrack.  Keep an eye out for Brion James, playing a security guard.

Overall, the band probably would have been smarter to just release a concert film but then the rest of us wouldn’t have the fun of watching Paul Stanley face off against a robot version of Bruce Lee.  KISS Meets The Phantom of The Park is worth watching at least once, even in German!