Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.16 “Rogues and Riches/Stark Terror”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

Smiles, everyone!  Smiles!

Episode 3.16 “Rogues and Riches/Stark Terror”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on January 19th, 1980)

Our latest weekend on Fantasy Island is both strange and entertaining!

Attorney Mark Hendicks (John Schuck) comes to the Island with a briefcase full of papers.  He’s searching for his former law partner, Pete Gilbert (singer Robert Goulet).  Years ago, Pete came to Fantasy Island with a simple fantasy.  He wanted to be an 18th century British outlaw.  However, Pete had so much fun in the past that he decided that he never wanted to leave.  Mark needs to get Pete’s signature on some official forms so that Mark can sell some land that he and Pete bought before Pete’s fateful trip to the Island.

Mr. Roarke explains to Mark what’s going on with Pete and Mark is surprisingly accepting of Roarke’s explanation.  Roarke drives Mark out to a bridge.  He tells Mark that crossing the bridge will transport Mark to Pete’s fantasy.  Mark crosses the bridge and immediately sees Pete being chased by a bunch of British soldiers.  Pete is having a grand ol’ time in the 18th century but he’s more than willing to take some time out from plundering so that he can sign the papers so that will allow Mark to become a millionaire once he returns to the present.  However, after a dinner scene that is basically lifted shot-for-shot from Tom Jones, Mark falls in love with Margaret Winston (Dolly Read), the wife of sword-wielding Judge Winston (Alan Hale, Jr).  Mark is tempted to remain in the past but, in the end, he decides that his place is in the present.  Fortunately, it turns out that Margaret was having a fantasy of her own and she and Mark leave the Island together.

While that silly but enjoyable fantasy plays out out, Amy Marson (Melissa Sue Anderson) searches for the solution to a mystery that was so traumatic that it caused her to lose her ability to speak.  Amy’s mother (Elinor Donahue) died in front of her and Amy hopes to discover not only who killed her mother but also to recover her ability to speak.  This leads to Amy visiting the lighthouse where she grew up and having a reunion with the kindly lighthouse keeper, Joshua Templar (Michael Constantine).  Amy’s flashbacks lead her to the solution to the mystery of her mom’s death and also to Joshua’s secret son (David Drucker).

This storyline, much like last week’s battle against Elizabeth Bathory, was enjoyably creepy and it featured good performances from Anderson, Constantine, Donahue, and Drucker.  In the best tradition of Fantasy Island, the storyline was both macabre and also rather life-affirming.  Fantasy Island was always at its best when it revealed the hidden humanity at the heart of each fantasy.  Amy learns the truth of her mother’s death and she regains her ability to speak.  Tattoo tells her that she has a beautiful voice.  Awwwwww!

This was a great weekend on Fantasy Island!

Documentary Review: My Dad’s On Death Row (dir by Thomas Leader)


A British documentary from 2016, My Dad’s On Death Row tells the story of two men who sat on Texas’s death row.

John Battaglia was a handsome man with a charming smile who, despite having a violent criminal record, had established himself as a respected accountant who had friends who lived in Highland Park (the richest part of Dallas) and who lived in a hip apartment in Deep Ellum.  In 1999, his wife filed for divorce and Battaglia was given probation after pleading guilty to a misdemeanor charge of spousal abuse.  When he continued to call his ex-wife in violation of a restraining order, she threatened to inform his probation office.  Battaglia reacted by taking his two youngest daughters to his apartment, calling his ex-wife, and then forcing her to listen as he murdered them.  After killing his daughters, Battaglia went to a nearby tattoo parlor and got two roses tattooed on his bicep.  The cops who saw the crime scene described it as the most horrific thing that they had ever seen.  Battaglia was arrested and convicted of the crime.  When Battaglia was sentenced to death, he turned to his ex-wife in the courtroom and told her to “Burn in Hell.”

Coy Wayne Westbrook murdered five people, including his ex-wife, at a party in Channelview, Texas.  Westbrook said that, after his ex-wife and the other party guests made fun of him and his attempts to reconcile with her, Westbrook went out to his truck, grabbed a rifle, and opened fire when he returned.  Despite Westbrook’s claim that he didn’t originally mean to kill anyone and the defense’s claim that Westbrook’s low IQ made his incapable of understanding his actions, a jury still sentenced him to death.

Both Coy Westbrook and John Battaglia are dead now, executed by the state of Texas.  My Dad’s On Death Row documents their final days and features interviews with them, the surviving members of their families, and people who both support and oppose the death penalty.  While this British-made documentary is critical of the death penalty, it never makes the mistake of idealizing or excusing either Coy Westbrook or John Battaglia.  As someone who is personally opposed to the death penalty, nothing annoys me more than the counter-productive tendency of certain anti-capital punishment activists to insist that everyone on Death Row was either wrongly convicted or is a saint in disguise.  This documentary leaves no doubt that both Westbrook and Battaglia were guilty of the crimes for which they were convicted.  When John Battaglia smirks while he discusses abusing his wife and murdering his children, even the most liberal of viewers will want to reach through the screen and wring his neck.

The film focuses on two daughters.  Westbrook’s daughter fought to save her father’s life.  Battaglia’s surviving daughter supported his execution.  Both of them carry the psychological scars of their father’s crimes.  In its nonjudgmental way, the documentary examines what it’s like to be the child of a parent who has committed the worst crime imaginable.  Even more than being about how people die in prison, it’s about how those left behind struggle to continue their lives.  It’s a moving and thought-provoking documentary and it can currently be viewed on Tubi.

Moments #6: The Abandoned RV


One evening, four years ago, I went for a walk around the neighborhood.  Two blocks away from the house, I saw that something that I hadn’t seen before.

This run-down RV was parked against the curb.

The closer I got, the more obvious it was that the RV had seen better days.  The tires were flat.  The windows were broken.  Though the picture above may be blurry, you can see that some of the back paneling was forcefully removed from the vehicle.

The front of the RV was not much better.  The hole in the windshield was probably made by a rock many years previously and I wondered who had thrown it and why.  The orange ticket was a notice that the RV would be towed if it wasn’t moved but I knew that the RV had only been sitting on the side of the street for an hour or two so I wondered when the ticket had been taped to the glass.  The ticket itself was from the city but the line for the date had been left blank.  The license plate said “Go By By.”  Someone had once probably loved traveling in this RV.

Because the side door was missing, I took a peek inside.

I didn’t go inside, though.

The next morning, I went outside to check on the RV and it was gone.  I guess the city towed it away but I didn’t notice any tow trucks in the area the night before.  Ever since that evening, I’ve wondered who owned the RV and why it ended up parked off the side of the road.

Previous Moments:

  1. My Dolphin by Case Wright
  2. His Name Was Zac by Lisa Marie Bowman
  3. The Neighborhood, This Morning by Erin Nicole
  4. The Neighborhood, This Afternoon by Erin Nicole
  5. Walking In The Rain by Erin Nicole

Music Video of the Day: The Rumour by Olivia Newton-John (1988, directed by Brian Grant)


Today would have been Olivia Newton-John’s 75th birthday and today’s music video of the day is one that she did in the late 80s.

The Rumour was the title track off of Newton-John’s 13th studio album.  The song was written by Elton John and Bernie Taupin and features John on the piano.  The video features a stage-bound hotel, where rumors begin and spread with the help of the paparazzi.  The snake crawling across a typewriter lets us know all that we need to know about Newton-John’s feelings towards the scandal-obsessed tabloid press.

This was one of the many music videos to be directed by Brian Grant, who worked with just about every prominent musical artist of the era.

Enjoy!