Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Despite the fact that the Neat Guys haven’t been neat for a while, it’s time to review two more episodes of City Guys!

Episode 5.11 “Cassidy Couch”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 20th, 2001)

Chris’s dad is investing in a play being written and directed by Derek Wagner, one of Broadway’s hottest directors!  (Oh yeah, Chris is rich.  It’s kind of funny how that aspect of Chris’s character kind of got pushed into the background.)  Cassidy thinks that she would be perfect for the lead role of an innocent pilgrim girl.  Chris offers to ask his dad to pull a few strings but Cassidy says that she wants to get the job based on nothing but her ability.

When Chris and Cassidy go to the auditions, Chris is surprised to see that Cassidy is dressed up like a pilgrim.  Cassidy explains that you should always dress for the role you want.  Chris spots another actress waiting to try out and says that apparently, she’s planning on auditioning to be a hooker.  (Boooo!  Way to be judgmental, Chris.)  Cassidy sees that the actress is wearing a short skirt and a tank top and she throws a fit.  “Excuse me!” Cassidy snaps, before demanding why the actress is dressed like me on a warm day.  The actress informs Cassidy that the director only casts attractive women and that her pilgrim outfit isn’t going to get the job done.  Cassidy rips off her pilgrim outfit and auditions in her pajamas.

(Personally, I’m more interested in whether or not Cassidy is a member of Equity because I doubt Broadway’s hottest director is going to be working on a non-union show.)

Cassidy does get a part in the show, though it’s not the starring role.  When Chris takes Cassidy to her first rehearsal, he overhears Derek Wagner having an argument with the actress he did cast in the lead role.  The actress tells Derek that he’s a pig and then she quits.  Derek then goes into the rehearsal hall and, after Cassidy approaches him and thanks him for giving her a small role, he promotes Cassidy to the lead role!

Chris is worried that Derek is “going to put the moves” on Cassidy.  Cassidy is offended at Chris’s suggestions that Derek wouldn’t just cast her for her talent.  But then, one night at rehearsals, Derek does exactly what Chris said he would do.  Cassidy quits the play.  Determined to expose Derek for being a predator, Chris and Jamal invite him onto their radio show and Derek agrees.  Why would Derek agree to go on a high school radio show?  It’s because the show needs Derek to do something illogical so it can end the story without having to leave the roof of Manny High.  If Derek had refused to appear on the show, Cassidy wouldn’t get a chance to confront in the booth and expose him to the handful of students who are actually dorky enough to listen to Chris and Jamal’s show.

This episode dealt with a real issue so let’s give it some credit.  Unfortunately, all the credit in the world isn’t going to make up for concluding the episode with Derek getting exposed on a high school radio program.  Derek is a Broadway director who is busy putting together his latest show.  He’s not going to appear on the Manny High Morning Show and he’s certainly wasn’t going to appear on a show hosted by the boyfriend of the actress who he just sexually harassed and then fired.  Not everything can be resolved on the roof of the school, City Guys!

Don’t even get me started on the B-plot, which featured L-Train getting psychic powers and having a premonition of Ms. Noble’s impending death.  Jamal, Al, and Dawn were really worried that Ms. Noble would die because apparently, these high school seniors who are on the verge of graduating don’t have a life outside of obsessing on their principal.  Fear not.  Ms. Noble did not die.  The most interesting thing about the B-plot was that Al and Dawn were dating, despite having broken up several episodes earlier.  Again, it would appear that this episode was meant to air earlier in the season but NBC aired it later, continuity be damned.

Episode 5.12 “Brother From Another Mother”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 20th, 2001)

Here is the plot description of this episode, courtesy of Wikipedia:

There is a heat wave going through New York, Dawn convinces Ms. Noble to allow a small waiting pool on the roof of Manny High. Instead Al and Chris secretly set up a large swimming pool for the whole school to enjoy and relax. Ms. Noble later finds out about the pool when one of the many interruptions preventing her from having a peaceful lunch break is leaking water coming from the ceiling. She tells Al to get rid of the pool. Before he does this, Al attempts to conquer his fear of the pool and learn how to swim, but in the process he almost drowns. Ms. Noble comes in the nick of time to rescue him and decides to teach Al how to swim before she gets rid of the pool. Meanwhile, Jamal’s father and El-Train’s mother develop an attraction for each other while attending a parent-principal conference. They set up a date and have the time of their lives. Jamal freaks out and doesn’t know what to think of this blossoming relationship, the possibility of someone else being his mother, and the future of a new family. While El-Train is ecstatic that his mother is finding some happiness in her life and he is looking forward to a possible future of Jamal becoming his brother and Mr. Grant his father.

Wow, that sounds terrible!  This kind of makes me glad that this episode is one of the many from season 5 that has not been uploaded to YouTube.  How exactly could they put a large swimming pool on the roof with Ms. Noble noticing?  And why does everything have to be on the roof?  Wouldn’t it actually be hotter on the roof than it would be if they put the pool in the courtyard or something?  Add to that, how many times could Jamal freak out over the possibility of his father dating someone.  Grow up, Jamal!

Next week, this show will be two episodes closer to being over.