Continuing my adventures in cleaning out my DVR, I followed up Girl Missing by watching A Teacher’s Obsession, a batshit crazy little film about … well, about a teacher’s obsession.

A Teacher’s Obsession originally aired on September 6th on the Lifetime network.  Now, usually, whenever you see a Lifetime movie called A Teacher’s Obsession, you assume that the film is going to be about a teacher having sex with (or trying to have sex with, depending on the film) a student.  But, in A Teacher’s Obsession, the teacher wants to be a student’s new BFF.

The student in question is Bridgette (Mia Rose Frampton), who is your typical spoiled upper middle class brat.  Her mother, Candace (Molly Hagan), is a local politician.  Bridgette makes it a point to always call her mother by her first name and always does so in the snarkiest tone imaginable.  Bridgette attends a prestigious academy, where she’s the captain of the school lacrosse team.  (What’s the deal with rich people and lacrosse?)  However, Bridgette is failing her English class.  As the film starts, Bridgette has just been put on academic probation.  That means no lacrosse!  And, even worse, Candace has forbidden Bridgette from seeing her boyfriend, Bobby (Dillon James).

Fortunately, there’s a new English teacher at the Academy.  Her name is Jane (Boti Bliss) and — oh my God, Jane sure is crazy!  In fact, Jane is so totally and completely crazy that you can’t help but root for her.  That may sound strange but seriously, all the other teachers at the school are so boring and Bridgette is such a spoiled brat that you can’t help but think, Yay!  Jane’s here to fuck things up!

The painfully boring (and bearded) calculus teacher, Mr. Jeter (Eric Curtis Johnson), has a crush on Jane and, when she has to, Jane has no trouble leading Mr. Jeter on.  But the thing is, Jeter starts to get a little bit too needy and it all leads to this great scene where Jane totally goes off on Mr. Jeter in the teacher’s lounge.  While the rest of the teachers sit around and listen like mummified relics of a past era, Jane tells Jeter that he’s overweight, that he has bad breath, that his beard is disgusting, and “your penis is miniscule.”  Jeter sits there and listens, unaware that he has soup in his beard.

Jane may occasionally spend time with Mr. Jeter but she is far more interested in being Bridgette’s best friend.  She encourages Bridgette to continue to see Bobby and even gives her birth control pills.  She tutors Bridgette in English class.  She conspires to help Bridgette cheat her way through Mr. Jeter’s class.  Jane excitedly makes plans to get a tattoo with Bridgette.  (“Do you think I’m too old for a tattoo?” Jane asks with a giggle.)  When Bridgette gets a tattoo without inviting Jane to come with her, Jane goes crazy and accuses Bobby of trying to rape her.

And through it all, Candace has secrets of her own to hide.  It turns out that Candace and Jane knew each other in the past.  Jane used to be obsessed with Candace.  Now, she’s obsessed with Bridgette…

A Teacher’s Obsession is one of those batshit crazy Lifetime movies that’s so unapologetically over-the-top that I couldn’t help but love it!  Seriously, it was a lot of fun to watch Jane make spoiled Bridgette’s life difficult and Boti Bliss attacked the role of Jane with a ferocity that was truly admirable!  Meanwhile, the underrated actress Molly Hagan brought unexpected depth to her role and the end result was an unexpectedly entertaining Lifetime melodrama.