Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 2.23 “I Wonder Who’s Kissing Gabe Now”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, season 2 ends as the new art teacher tempts Gabe to have an affair with someone who actually likes his jokes!

Episode 2.23 “I Wonder Who’s Kissing Gabe Now”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on March 3rd, 1977)

The second season finale opens with Gabe telling Julie a joke about his cousin Mark, who went back to the old neighborhood and dropped in on the old shoe repairman.  The shoe repairman saw that Mark was carrying a sales ticket from several years ago and he said, “Your shoes will be ready next Tuesday!”  Julie laughed politely.

The second season finale closes with Gabe telling Julie a really long joke about the time his Aunt Mabel went to see a psychiatrist on Park Avenue and was basically led back to the outside of the building because she didn’t make enough money to see a Park Avenue doctor.  Again, Julie laughed politely.

From the very first episode, Gabe telling Julie a joke about his family has been one of this show’s mainstays.  Sometimes, Julie smiles in response.  Sometimes, she gives up a pity laugh or two.  And sometimes, she seems downright annoyed with Gabe for wasting her time.  Gabe’s jokes are obviously very important to him.  (And, of course, they served to remind the audience that, when he wasn’t starring on a sitcom, Gabe Kaplan was a stand-up comedian.)  However, Julie never really seems to be too enthusiastic about them.  I imagine that a lot of this was due to the fact that Gabe Kaplan and Marcia Strassman did not get along behind-the-scenes but, for the show, it really does make you wonder just how much longer Gabe and Julie are going to be married.  I mean, by this point, it’s obvious that the reason Gabe spends so much time with the Sweathogs is so he won’t have to deal with Julie.  And Julie’s bad cooking is obviously a result of her secret desire to poison her husband.  This marriage just feels doomed.

The Sweathogs are certainly concerned about that.  When Epstein overhears the new art teacher, Paula Holtzgang (Denise Galick), telling Gabe that she has fallen in love with him, he is stunned.  He is even more shocked when he sees Gabe and Holtzgang kissing.  Of course, what Epstein doesn’t realize is that Paula was the one kissing Gabe and not the other way around.  Epstein tells the Sweathogs what he witnessed.  Horshack panics, wondering who will get custody of the Sweathogs if the Kotters split up.  Barbarino tries to solve the problem by showing off some of his dance moves as Paula leaves the school but, to his shock, she ignores him.

For his part, Gabe tells Julie about what happened and he says that he told Paula he wasn’t interested.  Julie demands to know if Paula is prettier than her.  Gabe says that Paula is a “different type” than Julie ….. which, yeah, that was not the right answer.  Fortunately, Gabe does not tell Julie that Paula kissed him.  Instead, the Sweathogs show up at the apartment and, attempting to save the marriage, tell Julie that she shouldn’t worry about the kiss.

With Julie on the verge of demanding a divorce, Gabe kicks the Sweathogs out of the apartment and he then assures Julie that he loves her and he can’t wait for their child to be born.  He even has a name picked out: “Farrah Fawcett Kotter.”

The next day, Gabe enters his classroom to find Paula waiting for him.  Paula says that she no longer finds Gabe attractive and leaves.

And that’s it for the second season!

Wow, what a strange episode to end on.  I mean, I guess it was good because it confirmed that Gabe and Julie will not be getting a divorce even though it’s obvious that they hate each other.  And this episode also reinforced how much the Sweathogs loved their teacher.  John Travolta got to show off his dance moves and that’s always a good thing.  But, overall, this episode was broad even by the standards of Welcome Back Kotter, with the Sweathogs coming across as being a bit to cartoonish for their own good.  The Sweathogs have always been a bit over the top but, in the past, they were still at least believable as tough but sometimes vulnerable Brooklyn teens.  But, for the past few episodes, they’ve become more like comic book characters than real people.

And yes, there was a Welcome Back, Kotter comic book:

Anyway, that’s it for the second season!  Next week …. season 3 begins!  Will the Sweathogs ever graduate?

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/19/23 — 11/25/23


I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!  Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week, in between shopping, eating Thanksgiving dinner, and celebrating Erin’s birthday!

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

The Race continued!  My sister and I need to get on this show while we still can.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (Apple TV+)

Erin and I watched this on Wednesday night, as we do every November.  You can read her thoughts here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

I watched another episode of this show earlier today.  Unless I fall asleep, I’ll be posting a review of it in an hour or two.  (Warning: There’s a very good chance that I might fall asleep.)

CHiPs (Freevvee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi here!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

I watched an episode of Dr. Phil this afternoon, just because I needed some background noise.  Dr. Phil was yelling at a woman who was cheating on her husband.

Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Football: Commanders vs Cowboys (Thursday Afternoon)

Football: 49ers vs Seahawks (Thursday Night)

Football: Packers vs Lions (Thursday Morning)

Yep, the family was watching football all Thursday and I occasionally glanced at the television.  I was happy that the Cowboys beat the Commanders.  I can’t remember who won the other games.  I accidentally called the Commanders by their original name and I got yelled at by my cousin.  Bleh.

Happy Hour (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this 90s, celeb-themed game show on Saturday morning.  Unfortunately, one of the celebs was Danny Masterson so I cringed whenever the camera went past him.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here on Thursday.

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

On Tuesday, I watched the latest episode of Kitchen Nightmares, which featured Gordon Ramsay helping out a married couple who were on the verge of divorcing over their restaurant.  I always like it when Gordon shows off his nice side and he seemed to really care about this couple.  On Wednesday, I rewatched the classic Amy’s Baking Company episode on Hulu.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (Thursday Morning, NBC)

It’s not Thanksgiving without the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade playing in the background.  I watched some of it with my family.  I liked the balloons but I got tired of all the reporters talking.

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Snub (YouTube)

This is a British music show from the late 80s.  I watched the first episode on Friday night.  Three bands performed.  I particularly liked Fugazi’s performance.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

Crazy Eye Kendra is gone so that’s a good thing!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!

WKRP In Cincinnati (DVD)

On Tuesday night, Jeff and I watched the classic “I thought turkey could fly” episode of this 70s sitcom.  This episode always makes me laugh.  Jeff has the entire series on DVD so who knows?  This could be a future entry in my retro television reviews!

Yes, Prime Minister (Monday Night, PBS)

This week’s episode was amazingly cynical, even by the standards of this rather cynical show.  Sir Humphrey effortlessly manipulated Jim Hacker into nominating a corrupt banker to an important post.  Somehow, it was also quite funny.  There’s just something about the way that poor, earnest (if occasionally pompous) Jim Hacker continually falls for every scheme that Sir Humphrey comes up with.  It helps that the schemes usually seem to turn out for the best.  If anything, Sir Humphrey might have a point about the importance of not giving the Prime Minister too much room to think for himself.

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 2.22 “I’m Having Their Baby”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the Sweathogs make like difficult for a pregnant woman.

Episode 2.22 “I’m Having Their Baby”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on February 24th, 1977)

At the apartment, Gabe is saying goodbye to Julie because he’s going to a week-long teacher’s convention.  Before he leaves, Gabe tells Julie about his uncle, who worked at the same job for several years without getting a promotion because he wasn’t bright enough.

Meanwhile, at school, the Sweathogs are waiting for their substitute and wondering why Mr. Kotter did not invite Mrs. Kotter to the convention.  Why do they care?  I always made fun of City Guys for the bizarre obsession all of the students had for their principal but the Sweathogs are almost as bad with their obsessing on the Kotter marriage.  Mr. Woodman steps into the room and introduces them to their substitute, Mr. Overly (Frank Corsentino).  Woodman assures Mr. Overly that the Sweathogs are wonderful students.

Later, the Sweathogs are hanging around outside of the school and talking about how Mr. Overly left the classroom in tears.  Julie walks by, carrying a bunch of groceries.  The Sweathogs help her take the groceries to her apartment.  Unaware that Julie hates them and is trying to get them to go home, they all decide to hang out in her living room.  Epstein mentions that all of the Sweathogs’s mothers were pregnant at one time or another.

“Not my mother,” Barbarino replies, “She’s a saint.”  Barbarino goes on to explain that stork “don’t bring babies no more …. they fired the storks.”

Julie tells the Sweathogs, “I am a pregnant woman and pregnant women have cravings.  I’m craving privacy.”

Usually, Julie kind of annoys me but she’s absolutely right here.  GO HOME, SWEATHOGS!  Seriously, Gabe should have called the police the first time they broke in through the fire escape.

The next day, at school, the Sweathogs — with the exception of Barbarino — finally figure out that Julie was mad at them and now, Gabe will be angry at them.  Freddie says that they need to do something to make it up to Julie.  “What would a young expectant mother want?” he wonders.

“A husband!” Epstein says.

“She’s got a husband!”

“A better one!”

Epstein suggests throwing a surprise party …. oh no, this sound like a bad idea….

Woodman then shows up with the new substitute (Ned Wertimer), who says he doesn’t want any trouble and that he has two kids.

“They’re going to miss ya,” Epstein says.

After school, the Sweathogs somehow get into the Kotter apartment, even though Julie is not there.  Sweathogs, this is not a good idea!  Apparently, they’ve decided to clean the apartment for Julie, which leads to Epstein accidentally trashing the place while trying to vacuum and Horshack putting way too much dish soap in the sink.  Soon, there are bubbles everywhere.  Julie comes home to discover the apartment trashed.

“Surprise!” Barbarino shouts.

“What are you guys doing here!?” Julie demands.

“Cleaning up!” Epstein replies.

The Sweathogs apologize and Barbarino actually has a tear in his eye.  (Awwwwww!  BARBARINO!)  Gabe calls and Julie tells him that the Sweathogs are at the apartment.  Freddie takes the phone and says, “Hi there.”  Horshack, who is really annoying in this episode, grabs the phone and yells, “Hello, big buckaroo!”  Julie gets the phone back and assures Gabe that the Sweathogs have been total gentlemen.

Hanging up the phone, Julie thanks the Sweathogs for their good intentions.  The Sweathogs return to school, where they discover that their third substitute (Larry Brooks) is 7’1 and not easily intimidated.

Finally, Woodman stops by the apartment and tells Julie a joke about a woman who goes to the police after a random man tells her that her baby is the ugliest he’s ever seen.  The policeman says, “Lady, calm down.  We’ll make out a report, you’ll have a cup of coffee, and we’ll get a banana for your monkey.”  Julie is not amused but I laughed typing the joke out.  Woodman is so proud of the joke that you can’t help but be happy for him.  You also can’t help but appreciate the gleeful madness that John Sylvester White brought to the role.

I have to say, as someone who really, really likes her space, this episode made me cringe.  It takes a lot to make me feel sorry for Julie but the Sweathogs pulled it off!  As the second season comes to a close (we’ve got the finale next week), it’s hard not to notice that Sweathogs have been progressively been getting more and more cartoonish in their antics.  They were always pretty over-the-top but, during the first season and the first half of the second season, they still came across as being believable teenagers.  When the show started, there was a vulnerability to the Sweathogs, all of whom were basically good kids who had spent their entire life being told they were worthless.  That vulnerability seems to disappear after the Sweathogs got locked in that museum and that’s kind of a shame.

Next week, season 2 comes to an end!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/12/23 — 11/18/23


The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I’m still trying to get caught up.  Big Brother and October really set me behind.  That said, I love The Amazing Race, even if I’m still figuring out who everyone is.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out! (Tubi)

I watched a rather dumb episode of this Canadian sitcom earlier today.  My review will be dropping shortly.  Years from now, I’ll probably still be wondering what inspired me to review a silly Canadian sitcom that no one has ever heard of.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi here!

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Frasier (Paramount+)

I watched the first episode of the Frasier revival on Thursday night.  Kelsey Grammer was funny.  Frasier Crane is the perfect role for him.  Unfortunately, the rest of the cast was far less interesting and the first episode felt rather …. generic.  The most interesting thing about the show is Frasier apparently spent the last few years hosting a television show called “Dr. Crane.”  Now, personally, I’d rather see a show about him doing that than a show about him moving to Massachusetts and teaching at Harvard.  Indeed, with everything that’s happening on various elite college campuses right now, the last thing I want to do is watch a show about how great Harvard is.

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Football Game: New York Jets Vs Las Vegas Raiders (Sunday Night, NBC)

I kind of watched this on Sunday, though I was also reading Britney Spears’s autobiography at the same time.  I have no idea who won but Jeff tells me that it was a great game.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

“Who does the Grail serve?”  I wrote about this week’s episode here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here …. here!

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

I binged Kitchen Nightmares this week.  Those were some disgusting kitchens!  Speaking of disgusting, the most recent episode featured one of the most obnoxious man babies that I have ever seen.  What a loser!  I’m amazed Gordon didn’t just toss him out in the alley and tell him to go home.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I watched an episode that was all about songs that were about food.  It was a tasty 30 minutes.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I have a feeling that we’re going to get a bitter jury this season.  Everyone has been shooting death glares at each other, this entire season.  Last night, I thought the latest person voted out was going to throw a punch before she left the island.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Yes, Prime Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)

Hacker’s predecessor died and, to Hacker’s barely suppressed delight, that meant that he would never actually finish his autobiographer, which was full of unflattering details about Hacker.  Unfortunately, Hacker also had to deal with the details of the state funeral and that meant dealing with the French.  I was pretty tired when I watched this episode so I don’t remember all of the details but I do remember being amused by the arrogance of the French ambassador.

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back Kotter 2.20 “The Littlest Sweathog” and 2.21 “Radio Free Feddie”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Julie’s pregnant and Freddie’s a star!

Episode 2.20 “The Littlest Sweathog”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on February 10th, 1977)

At the apartment, Julie sees that Gabe has a sketch pad and she demands to know what he’s drawing.

“A picture of you,” Gabe replies.  He explains that he’ll let her see the picture after he tells her a joke about a relative of his who lost a lot of money when he put $5 on horse number five and the horse came in fifth.  (It went over my heard but I’m not a gambler.)  Anyway, the picture isn’t very good and Julie tells him that Gabe’s attempt at art is “funnier than the joke.”

YIKES!

After the opening credits, we return to the apartment where Gabe is tutoring Barbarino.  The audiences screams so loudly when Barbarino shows up at the apartment that it’s hardly surprising that he’s having trouble concentrating in school.  I mean, that audience is really loud!

No sooner has the lesson begun with Gabe asking what Barbarino knows about D-day (“That’s the day I bring home my report card.”) then the phone rings.  Barbarino tells Gabe that it might be a girl calling for him but instead, it’s Julie’s doctor calling to tell her that she’s pregnant.

“Julie’s pregnant!” Gabe shouts.

Barbarino says, “Don’t look at me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Vinnie!  I know who the father is!”

“Who?”

Gabe is convinced that he’s the father, despite the fact that Vinnie does kind of have a point.  I mean, Julie really doesn’t seem to even like Gabe the majority of the time.  When Julie comes home, Gabe eventually convinces Vinnie to leave so that he can tell Julie the news.  Gabe is excited.  Julie is not excited at all, pointing out that she can’t even remember to water the plants half the time.  Gabe tells Julie that she’ll glow.  Julie responds that “Spending a half-hour trying to get out of a chair is not my idea of glowing.”

The next day, at school, the Sweathogs are debating what type of present they should get Gabe.  Freddie suggests a savings bond.  Horshack offers to donate 89 cents.  The Sweathogs are incredibly invested in the happiness of Gabe’s baby, which is quite a contrast to the way we viewed the teachers at my high school.  We didn’t know anything about their lives outside of school and we didn’t want to know.

After Horshack tells Woodman that Gabe is going to be a father, Woodman replies, “This time, you’ve gone too far, Kotter!  Who is it!?  What’s her name?”

Gabe assures Woodman that the only person who he’s gotten pregnant is his wife.  Woodman replies that Gabe is going to have to start holding up gas stations to have enough money to raise a child.  Gabe tells Woodman that Julie doesn’t seem to be to thrilled.  Woodman replies, “I wouldn’t be too thrilled about having your baby either,” before laughing maniacally.

Back at the apartment, Julie is feeling depressed because, as she says when she hears someone knocking at the door, “Somehow, I just don’t feel like I’m glowing!”  Julie answers the door and sighs in frustration as the Sweathogs enter the apartment.

“Oh!  The lady in waiting!” Horshack announces.  Meanwhile, Barbarino notices that Julie is reading a book by Dr. Spock.  “I’m a big Star Trek fan, too,” Barbarino says.

Gabe comes home and, somewhat oddly, is not shocked to find the Sweathogs in his apartment.  Gabe asks the Sweathogs to leave.  Barbarino and Freddie are happy to go because they want to watch TV.  “This bionic woman is getting bigger transistors tonight,” Barbarino says.  “Dyno-mite!” Freddie replies.

After the Sweathogs finally leave, Julie says that she realizes that, fears aside, she wants to have the baby.  Gabe is happy because he’ll have someone new to tell all of his jokes.

Later, Gabe buys a stuffed dog for the baby and then tells it about his uncle who owned a dog named Roscoe.

This episode was both sweet and a bit awkward to watch.  On the one hand, I appreciated the fact that the show tried to be realistic in its portrayal of Julie’s overwhelmed reaction to learning that she was pregnant.  On the other hand, this episode really drove him the fact that Gabe Kaplan and Marica Strassman didn’t exactly have a lot of chemistry.  By most accounts, Kaplan and Strassman couldn’t stand each other behind the scenes and that tension between the two of them was really noticeable in this episode.  (It’s hard not to notice that Gabe and Julie never seem to make much eye contact in this episode.)  Reportedly, Strassman often complained that she didn’t get enough to do as Julie.  This episode put Julie center-stage but she still had to share it with the Sweathogs and the whole thing just felt kind of weird.  I actually felt bad for Julie.  She can’t even relax in her own apartment without Gabe’s students coming by!

I’m starting to worry about the baby.  Let’s move on.

Episode 2.21 “Radio Free Freddie”

(Directed by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on February 17th, 1977)

At the apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his uncle who was a paratrooper and who apparently plunged to death when his super emergency parachute didn’t open.  That’s not a nice joke to tell a pregnant woman, Gabe!

At the school, Gabe is explaining to the Sweathogs that a famous radio DJ known as Wally the Wow is a former Sweathogs and Gabe has arranged for Epstein, Barbarino, Freddie, and Horshack to work as radio DJs for the week.  What?  How did that happen?  This seems more like a City Guys thing than a Welcome Back Kotter thing.  If you owned a radio station, would you turn programming over to four high school students?  Would you let Horshack on the radio?

Anyway, Wally the Wow is played by legendary comedian George Carlin and his producer, Andy, is played by The Love Boat‘s Fred Grandy.  When the Sweathogs take their turns on the radio, Wally is totally impressed by Freddie’s radio voice and, realizing that the rest of them don’t have Freddie’s talent, the other Sweathogs leave the station.  Freddie becomes a big hit but his friends think that he’s let the fame go to his head.  Wally tells Freddie that being a DJ can be a lonely job.  Freddie is prepared to give up his radio dreams but then the other Sweathogs drop by the station and apologize for being jealous.  Freddie agrees to stay on as a DJ.

Later, Gabe drops by the station and thanks Wally for taking care of the Sweathogs.  They reminisce about high school.  “I remember you used to tell all of those stupid jokes about your uncles,” Wally says, “I’m glad you outgrew that.”

This was a weird episode, largely because it really didn’t make any sense for Wally to put the Sweathogs on the radio in the first place.  It would not surprise me if this was yet another backdoor pilot, this time for a sitcom that would have followed the adventures of Wally the Wow and his goofy engineer, Andy.  Still, as strange as the episode was, it did give Freddie, the most underused of the Sweathogs, a chance to have a moment in the spotlight so that was a good thing.

Next week, the second season ends!

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back Kotter 2.19 “There Goes Number Five (a.k.a. Has Anyone Seen Arnold Part 2)”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, we learn more than we ever wanted to know about Arnold Horshack.

Episode 2.19 “There Goes Number Five (a.k.a. Has Anyone Seen Arnold Part 2)”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro and James Komack, originally aired on February 3rd, 1977)

When last we checked in with the Sweathogs, Arnold Horshack was missing and perhaps dead.  This episode opens with the Sweathogs in the classroom, telling Gabe that they’re worried about their friend.  Gabe says that Arnold must be having a “problem in his personal life.”

“Come on, Mr. Kotter,” Epstein says, “Arnold ain’t got no personal life.”

Suddenly, Horshack comes into the classroom and asks Mr. Kotter how one becomes a father.  “Well, first you meet a girl….” Gabe starts but Horshack stops him and explains that his fifth stepfather has died, felled by a heart attack while driving his taxi on the Long Island expressway.  Horshack is now the man of his family.  Everyone hugs Horshack and promises to help him out if they can.

“Awwwwww!” the audience says and it actually is a pretty sweet scene.

Unfortunately, the rest of the episode is not quite as effective.  After the scene with the Sweathogs, the viewer is suddenly confronted with a new tenement location, a host of new characters, and some very broad acting as the show goes from being an episode of Welcome Back Kotter to being a poorly disguised pilot for a show that presumably would have focused on Horshack’s eccentric family.  We meet Horshack’s mother (played by Ellen Travolta, sister of John).  We meet Horshack’s obnoxious sibilings.  When meet Goldie (Susan Lawrence), who Horshack has a crush on.  And we eventually meet Horshack’s uncle, the wealthy Harry Orshack (James Komack).  Uncle Harry gives Horshack a part-time job and agrees to train him to be “a shark” so that Horshack will be able to take care of his family.  We also meet Leonard (Robert Stoneman), who is Harry’s other protégé and who takes an immediate dislike to Arnold.  One can only imagine how many conflicts they would have had if this pilot had been turned into a show.

The episode suffers from a lot of problems, the least being that a little bit Arnold Horshack goes a long way.  As a character, Horshack is funny when he’s a part of an ensemble but he’s a bit too cartoonish to be effective as a lead.  On Welcome Back, Kotter, Horshack is an amusing eccentric but, in this episode, he’s surrounded by characters who are equally eccentric and it really does get to be too much.  Watching it, one can see why the idea of doing a show about the Horshacks never got out of the pilot stage.

For the record, this is the first episode of Welcome Back Kotter to not feature Gabe telling a joke at the beginning of the show.  As it ends, when Horshack returns to school and tells everyone that he’ll be working for his uncle Harry, Gabe offers to tell Horshack about his uncle who once had a job but we don’t actually get to hear the punchline of the joke.

In this episode’s defense, I should mention that it appears that both it and the previous episode actually aired on the same night and, as such, the backdoor pilot was the second half of a one-hour broadcast.  So, I imagine that viewers in 1977 didn’t find all of this to be as jarring as a viewer in 2023 would.  Still, if I was going to spin-off a Sweathog, I would have gone with Epstein.  He seemed like he had a wild life.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/29/23 — 11/4/23


Well, Horrorthon is over and I’m trying to get caught up on all the shows that I have waiting for me on the DVR and on all the streaming services.  It’ll probably take a while for me to watch all of it but that’s okay.  I always enjoy a good excuse to just sit on the couch for a few hours.

Here’s a few notes on what I watched this week!

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I can’t wait to get caught up on the latest season of The Amazing Race!  I watched the latest episode on Wednesday and I’m glad that the team that got U-turned still managed to survive and make it to the pit stop in time.  I’ve never been a fan of the U-turn and I always lose a little respect for  teams that choose to use it.  Of course, this season, it appears that the teams have not been given the option of opting out.

Big Brother 25 (24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)

Yay!  This season is nearly over.  Seriously, this is one of the all-time worst seasons of a show that really has never been that good to begin with.  I’ve been writing about Big Brother over at the Reality TV Chat Blog!

Check It Out (Tubi)

I watched the 5th episode of this Canadian sitcom earlier today.  Unless I get too tired to write it up, my review should drop in a few more hours.

Dirty Pair Flash (YouTube)

I watched another episode of this anime on Friday night.  I couldn’t really follow the plot but everyone had really neat hair and a lot of stuff blew up.  It was stylish and fun in its own incoherent way.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

I used several episodes of Dr. Phil as background noise this week.  I quickly got used to the sound of him yelling about being trained in forensics.

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Get Gotti (Netflix)

Get Gotti is a three-episode crime docudrama about the efforts to put mobster John Gotti in jail.  It’s a story that I’ve heard before but John Gotti was an intriguing figure and the docuseries did a good job of contrasting Gotti’s flamboyant charisma with the somewhat more low-key people who spent years trying to put him in prison.  New York in the 80s will always be a fascinating topic.

Gun (Tubi)

I wrote about Gun here!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

Here, I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Nightmare Café (YouTube)

I wrote about the next-to-final episode of this series here!

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about Survivor here!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Yes, Prime Minister (PBS, Monday Morning)

The second season started with Sir Humphrey getting rid of a troublesome cabinet secretary by tricking Jim into thinking the secretary was planning to launch a leadership challenge.  What’s funny is that the secretary was viewed as being a threat because of his radical employment policies but, once he had been manipulated it resigning, Jim decided to continue the secretary’s plan and just take credit for it himself.  No one won but it was very funny.

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 2.18 “Whatever Happened To Arnold? Part One”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, we have the start of a two-part story!

Episode 2.18 “Whatever Happened to Arnold? Part One”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on February 3rd, 1977)

At the apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his uncle who was a skin diver.  His name was Mike Nelson Kotter.  One day, Mike was shocked to see a guy go down 40 feet without equipment.  When Mike demanded to know what the guy was doing, the guy replied, “You jerk!  I’m drowning!”

At school, Epstein amuses the Sweathogs by doing his Mr. Kotter impersonation.

Gabe walks in on Epstein’s routine but he’s not upset because it actually gives him the perfect excuse to tell the Sweathogs about the school drama festival.  He needs some volunteers to appear in one scene from a play, which Gabe will direct.

“Acting is stupid,” Barbarino says, “Pretending to be somebody else.”

Horshack disagrees and shows off his acting skills by falling to his knees and declaring his love for Freddie.  Freddie proceeds to do his Harry Belafonte impersonation which leads to Barbarino ripping his t-shirt and shouting, “Stella!” before Gabe then does his Vito Corleone impersonation and compliments Barbarino’s Marlon Brando.

“I was doing John Wayne,” Barbarino replies.

Realizing that Horshack actually is serious about wanting to act, Gabe offers to direct Horshack in a scene from Cyrano de Bergerac.  Of course, Horshack’s co-star will be Judy Borden (Helaine Lembeck), who goes to Mr. Woodman to complain about having to work with a Sweathog, though she should be used to it by now as she ends up having to work with them every time that she appears on the show.  Woodman tells Judy to do what he does and imagine that she’s a missionary and the Sweathogs are a bunch of cannibals preparing to eat her.

“Throw me into the pot!  THROW ME INTO THE POT!” Woodman starts yelling.

Later, when Woodman sees Horshack in costume and carrying a sword, Woodman shouts that Kotter is “arming the Sweathogs!” before adding, “Call out the national guard!”  Poor old Woodman.

Unfortunately, Gabe’s attempts to hold rehearsal are interrupted by Barbarino, Freddie, and Epstein, who all show up and proceed to heckle Horshack and Judy.  First Judy storms off.  That’s to be expected because that’s what Judy always does.  But then Horshack gets angry, yells that he’s trying to do something good for all the Sweathogs, and storms off the stage.

The next day, there has still been no sign of Horshack.  Freddie, Epstein, and Barbarino tell Gabe that they broke into Horshack’s house but didn’t see any sign of him or his family.  With Horshack missing, that means someone is going to have to put on the fake noise and play Cyrano in his place.

“Stella!” Barbarino shouts.

Anyway, the day of the drama festival comes and Barbarino …. well, he’s not a very good Cyrano.  He forgets his lines.  He talks back to the audience.  He and Judy argue in the middle of the scene.  He dances while delivering the few lines that he does remember.  He ends the scene by falling to his knees and screaming, “Stella!”  But it doesn’t matter because he’s a young John Travolta and he’s absolutely adorable with his fake nose.  The audiences loves him but Barbarino says that the moment feels hollow because this should have been Arnold’s moment.

“Where could he be?” Freddie asks.

“I don’t know,” Gabe says, “but I think the problem is something more serious than this play.  But what?”

And, on that rather ominous note, this episode ends.  Fear not, we’ll learn what happened to Horshack in the next episode.  For now, let’s just remember that John Travolta did a very convincing Brando and a very amusing Cyrano.  The entire cast of this show did a good job (and I especially enjoy John Sylvester White’s weekly descent into insanity) but episodes like this remind us of why John Travolta is the one who went on to become the biggest star.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Televison: 10/22/23 — 10/28/23


I’ve got so much stuff piling up on the DVR.  I’ll get caught up on it all in November!

Big Brother (24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)

I wrote about this stupid show over at the Reality TV Chat Blog!  I will be so happy when this season is over.  Every day, I pray for the cancellation of this show.

Check It Out! (Tubi)

I watched the fourth episode of Check It Out! on Friday.  My review will drop in a few hours.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dragnet (Weekday Morning, MeTV)

I woke up early enough on Monday that, when I turned on television, I found myself watching the episode of Dragnet where Joe Friday served on a review board that was investigating whether a police officer had failed to properly identity himself.  It was not one of the more interesting episodes of Dragnet.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode of Dr. Phil in which Phil interviewed a woman who shaved her head and faked having cancer.  The woman said that she felt very guilty.  Dr. Phil didn’t buy it.

On Tuesday morning, I watched Dr. Phil talk to a woman who was in an abusive marriage with a total jerk.  Dr. Phil called the jerk a “loud-mouthed bully” but it didn’t really seem to do much good.  Later, on Tuesday evening, I watched an episode about an out-of-control teen named Taylor.  Phil yelled at the parents but he didn’t seem to do much good for Taylor.

On Saturday night, I watched an episode about a disastrous wedding that was still tearing a family apart.  Seriously, it was a really bad wedding.  I think the only solution was for the wife to get a divorce.  “Wow,” Dr. Phil said, in his condescending way.

Gun (Tubi)

I wrote about Gun here.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

The Hitchhiker (YouTube)

I watched several episodes of The Hitchhiker this week, while choosing which ones to feature on the site.  It was a bit of an uneven show but, when it worked, it worked.  I loved Page Fletcher’s super-judgmental monologues.

It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (Apple TV+)

Erin and I watched this classic on Thursday.  Read Erin’s’ thoughts on it here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Nightmare Café (YouTube)

I wrote about Nightmare Café here!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Toy Story Of Terror (Disney Plus)

Erin and I watched this on Thursday, after we watched It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.  I love the toys!  This isn’t their best adventure but it’s still nice to see and hear everyone again.

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

I watched Chapter Three of this serial on Friday night.  In this episode, the invisibility ray was used.

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I reviewed Welcome Back Kotter here!

Yes Prime Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)

A member of Jim’s cabinet had a plan that he felt would help the economy and reduce unemployment.  Sir Humphrey felt that the cabinet member was a pointless radical and encouraged Jim to ignore him.  This episode featured one of my favorite sources of humor on this show, Jim’s tendency to just agree with whoever last spoke to him.  It feels like a very realistic portrait of the way governments work.

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back Kotter 2.17 “Chicken a la Kotter”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Gabe needs surgery!

Episode 2.17 “Chicken a la Kotter”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on January 27th, 1977)

At the apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his Uncle Socrates Kotter.  Uncle Socrates had a best friend named Euripides but they drifted apart when Socrates moved to Chicago and opened up his own dry cleaning place.  One day, a guy who looked just like Euripides walked into the business.

“Euripedes!” Socrates shouted.

“Yeah,” the guy replied as he handed over his pants, “you menda these?”

Plato was not available for comment.

After the opening credits, we find ourselves back at the apartment.  Gabe comes home from the dentist and tells Julie that he has three abscesses.  (Good Lord, Gabe!)  Gabe says that a root canal will cost thousands.  Having the teeth pulled will cost hundreds.  Or maybe he can just convince someone to knock out all of his teeth for free.

Julie says that she’s gotten a part-time job stuffing envelopes but that’s probably not going to pay for Gabe’s dental surgery.  She suggests that he call one of the personal loan places that advertise on television.  Gabe is reluctant because he hates their commercials but, at Julie’s insistence, he calls and asks for $12,000.  The guy on the other end of the line asks Gabe what he does for a living.

“I’m a teacher,” Gabe replies.

“What’s he saying?” Julie asks.

“I’ll tell you after he stops laughing.”

Eventually, the guy asks Gabe about his assets.  “I’m a fun guy,” Gabe says, “I’ve got a good sense of humor….”  The loan guy tells Gabe that, if he takes out a loan with them, he’ll have to pay $110 a month for a year and that he would have to put up his first born son as collateral.

(Today, I should add, I spent $110 on Halloween candy.)

The next day, at school, the Sweathogs are confused as to why Gabe is slurring his speech when he calls roll.  After Freddie asks if he’s okay, Gabe explains that he has to get dental surgery but he doesn’t have any way to pay for it.  Freddie suggests that Gabe join the Marines.  Epstein offers to go into business with him.  Barbarino volunteers to be the prize at a raffle.  Horshack offers to sell his body to science.

After class ends, Gabe sits at his desk and reads the classifieds.  (“Wanted, hearse driver.  Must not mind riding alone …. sort of.”)  Woodman wanders into the classroom and reminds Gabe that he’s not allowed to “moonlight.”  Gabe asks Woodman how he manages to make ends meet.

“My ends never meet, Kotter!” Woodman declares.

Gabe bemoans never being able to have fun on his salary.

“There’s more to life than fun, Kotter,” Woodman says, “There’s hard work, sacrifice, and REVENGE!”

After Woodman leaves, Barbarino, Freddie, Horshack, and Epstein return to the classroom and announce that they’ve pooled together their life savings to help out Mr. Kotter.  They then hand him five dollars and 72 cents.  “Stay mellow, fellow,” Freddie says.

Several nights later, at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie that he has to go to his second job as a “public relations expert at a restaurant.”  Julie accuses Gabe of cheating on her.  Uhmm, Julie — remember how you all talked about how Gabe would need to get a second job to pay for his root canal?  It wasn’t that long ago….

Part of the reason why Julie is suspicious is because Gabe always takes a suitcase with him to work.  What’s in the suitcase?  Gabe’s work costume!  Yes, I said costume.  Gabe’s public relations job involves dressing up like a chicken and going to the grand opening of every new Mr. Chicken restaurant.

Guess who walks into the restaurant?

It’s Barbarino, Freddie, Horshack, and Epstein!  Horshack, not recognizing Captain Chicken as his teacher, demands an autograph.  However, the other Sweathogs quickly recognize him and, no longer as sympathetic as they were a few days ago, they proceed to make fun of Gabe and his costume.  Unfortunately, because Gabe is on the clock, he still has to take their orders.  They order the Gluten’s Gorge.

While Gabe relays the order to the kitchen, Woodman comes in and sees that the restaurant is having a contest where, if you guess the number of chicken bones in a container, you’ll win a free meal.  Gabe has his back to him but he still clearly hears as Woodman announces, “460, Captain Chicken!”  Gabe is forced to turn around and reveal that Woodman is “a few bones short.”  Woodman tells Gabe to watch out for roosters and then laughs loudly as he leaves.

Gabe is then forced, by the restaurant manager, to do a dance with a cane and a top hat in order to celebrate the Sweathogs ordering a Gluten’s Gorge.  The Sweathogs applaud and congratulate Gabe for being a “good sport.”  Gabe explains that he took this demeaning job because he couldn’t get a day job because it would mean abandoning his Sweathogs.  The restaurant manager then orders Gabe to get his “delinquents” students out of the place.

“Up your gizzard with a rubber lizard,” Freddie replies.

Rather than betray his students, Gabe quits his job.  They all leave to get Chinese food.  Yay!  I love Chinese food.

Back at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie a joke about his Aunt Sophie, who always used to sleep with her mouth open and….

Wait a minute …. did Gabe ever get his dental surgery?  It seems like that whole part of the story kind of got pushed to the side.  This was an incredibly silly episode and it didn’t quite work for me because, as annoying as Julie can be, her whole assumption that Gabe was having an affair never made sense.  She knew why he had to get a night job.  Still, at least Mr. Woodman got a few good lines and it’s always touching when the Sweathogs reveal that they really do care about their teacher and themselves.

Seriously, though — three abscesses!?  Here’s hoping Gabe takes better care of himself in the future!