Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, Jonathan is a dream warrior.
Episode 4.19 “The Correspondent”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on February 24th, 1988)
Journalist Hale Stoddard (Darren McGavin) sits in a South American prison cell and waits to be executed. One-by-one, the other prisoners are dragged out of the cell and shot by the country’s new government. Hale passes the time by writing a letter that he knows no one will ever read.
Suddenly, Hale is no longer in the cell. Instead, he’s in the basement of his house. And there’s Jonathan. Jonathan explains that time has stopped and now, Hale is in his wife’s dream. Martha (Patricia Smith) dreams of Hale never being at home. She dreams of their son having both arms, even though he lost those arms in an accident when he was younger. (She also dreams of their now-adult son as always being a child.) Martha dreams about Hale’s former mistress, Eleanor (Eileen Barnett), standing around the house. (Hale argues that Eleanor was never in the house but Jonathan explains that, in Martha’s dreams, she is.) Hale comes to realize how often he deserted Martha because he couldn’t deal with settling down and raising a family. And now, while Martha dreams of him, Hale is about to be shot and killed….
Except, he’s not. It turns out that the South American prison was Hale’s dream. When Hale wakes up, he’s still at home. He tells Martha that he won’t be going to South American after all.
Awwww! How sweet.
This was a bit of a weird episode but I liked it. I appreciated how the show created Martha’s dream world by adding randomly weird details (like an oversized chair at the breakfast table, which was meant to represent Hale’s absence). Darren McGavin gave a good performance as Hale and resisted the temptation to overact. With the episode, the show tried to do something different and, for the most part, it succeeded.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
Having finished up Friday the 13th, I’m not going to take a look at another syndicated horror show that aired around the same time. Freddy’sNightmares was an anthology show hosted by Robert Englund, in character as Freddy Krueger. Each story would take place in Freddy’s hometown of Springwood, Ohio. Would the show be a dream or a nightmare? Let’s find out!
Episode 1.1 “No More Mr. Nice Guy”
(Dir by Tobe Hooper, originally aired on October 9th, 1988)
Freddy Krueger has become such a familiar and popular figure that I think it’s sometimes forgotten that, when he first appeared, he was truly a horrifying character. He was a child molester and a serial killer, one who escaped legal justice only because someone forgot to read him his rights when he was arrested. He was killed by the citizens of Springwood, Ohio, set on fire in the same boiler room where he killed his victims. Yes, he was brutally murdered and yes, the respectable people who murdered him covered up their crime. At the same time, what would you do if a monster like Freddy was loose in your town and stalking your children? “I’m burning in Hell,” Freddy says and that’s exactly what he deserved.
How did Freddy Krueger then become an oddly beloved pop cultural icon? Some of that was undoubtedly due to his one-liners, which tended to be a slightly better than the typical slasher film banter. If Freddy was pure evil in the first three NightmareonElmStreet films, he became more a homicidal prankster as the series continued. I think another reason why Freddy became popular is because the actor who first played him, Robert Englund, himself always comes across as being such a nice guy. Unlike the personable but physically intimidating Kane Hodder, who looked like he could kill you even when he wasn’t playing Jason Voorhees, Englund always comes across as being slightly nerdy and very friendly. He’s the neighbor who you would trust to get your mail while you’re on vacation. If Englund hadn’t been cast as Freddy Krueger in 1984, he probably would have spent the 90s playing quirky programmers and hackers in tech thrillers. The thing with Robert Englund is that seems to have a good sense of humor, he’s at peace with his place in pop culture, and he always seem to be having fun. (In his autobiography, he even jokes about something that fans had been laughing about for years, the fact that the female lead in A Nightmare In Elm Street 2 looked almost exactly like Meryl Street.) Those are qualities that bled over into Freddy.
As a result, Freddy became popular enough to host his own horror anthology. The premiere episode of Freddy’sNightmares open with Englund, in full Freddy makeup, telling us that we’re not about to see one of our nightmares. Instead, we’re going to see his nightmare. The episode gives us Freddy’s origin story, starting with Freddy getting off on a murder charge on a technicality and ending with Freddy getting bloody revenge of the police chief (played by Ian Patrick Williams) who set him on fire.
By almost any standard, it’s a disturbing story. We open with Freddy on trial and we hear details about an 8 year-old boy that he left in a dumpster. After the charges against Freddy are dismissed (damn those Carter judges!), Freddy happily gets into an ice cream truck and later, the police chief has a vision of the same truck coming straight at him. After getting set on fire, Freddy doesn’t waste any time coming back and using his razor-blade gloves to slash his way to vengeance. I think what’s particularly disturbing about this episode is that the police chief is not a bad guy. He arrested Freddy as Freddy was trying to attack his twin daughters. Throughout the episode, Freddy — in both life and death — makes it clear that he’s coming for the man’s daughters. And in the end, Freddy will probably get them because their father fell asleep in a dentist’s chair and got his mouth drilled by Dr. Krueger.
Agck! That’s disturbing stuff. Of course, it would be even more disturbing if the show’s special effects and gore were anywhere close to being a realistic as what was present in the movies. The show itself looks remarkably cheap. I would say it almost looks like a community theater production of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Director Tobe Hooper (of TexasChainsawMassacre fame) manages to wring a few jump scares out of the material and a scene where we see one of Freddy’s courtroom fantasies is genuinely horrifying but, for the most part, the budget is low enough that the viewer can safely say, “It’s only a TV show, it’s only a TV show….” In the end, it’s very much an 80s TV show, right down to the oddly gratuitous scene where the police chief suddenly imagines the dental hygienist in her underwear.
Where will Freddy’sNightmares lead us? We’ll find out. I’m sure it will be bloody, wherever it is!
Put yourself in the shoes of the townspeople in 1971’s I Drink Your Blood.
Here you are. You’re minding your own business. Life isn’t great because of the economic downtown. Your town is nearly deserted and is basically full of empty buildings. In fact, it seems like there are currently more construction workers around then townspeople. The workers are working on the dam. Maybe a dam will help the area. Maybe it won’t.
The sexist construction workers are kind of a pain but then, things get even worse when a bunch of hippies show up. Led by the mysterious Horace Bones (played by dancer Bhaskar Roy Chowdhury), these are not your typical (if annoying) peace-and-love hippies. These hippies have more in common with the Manson Family than they do with the commune folks from Easy Rider. They are a remarkably diverse group of hippies. Some of them are young. Some of them are older. Some of them really enjoy attacking other people. Some of them are just along for the ride. For his part, Horace is really into Satanism and human sacrifice and he encourages his followers to feel the same way. Has anyone nice ever been named Horace Bones?
When the cultists assault a local girl named Sylvia (Arlene Farber), they are confronted in the abandoned building in which they are squatting by Sylvia’s grandfather, Doc Banner (Richard Bowler). They proceed to beat up the kindly doctor and they force him to take LSD. Sylvia’s younger brother, Pete (Riley Mills), get revenge by injecting the blood of a rabid dog into several pies and then selling them to Horace and his hippies. Almost all of the hippies eat the pies and soon, they are foaming at the mouth and rampaging through the countryside, infected by and spreading rabies. One of the hippie women ends up having sex with all of the construction workers, which leads to the rabies spreading even more. Soon, it’s hippies vs hardhats as the fights happening across the real world are repeated in small town America. Of course, there’s no police around to break up the fights and, thanks to the rabies, everyone is fighting to the death. Heads are ripped off. Electric knives are used to carve more than just food. People are set on fire. Blood is definitely drank.
Only one hippie didn’t eat the pies. Andy (Tyde Kierney) was never a big fan of Horace’s Manson-like tendencies and he pretty much draws the line at human sacrifice. Andy flees from Horace’s world and finds himself with Sylvia, Pete, and Mildred (Elizabeth Marner-Brooks), the owner of the local bakery. The four of them struggle to survive in a world that has literally gone mad.
I Drink Your Blood was, not surprisingly, controversial when it was first released. It was one of the few films to be given an X-rating for its violence as opposed to its sexual content. It is definitely violent, though it’s really nowhere near as graphic as some of the R-rated horror films that have come out over the past few years.
I Drink Your Blood is a classic grindhouse film, one that takes a fairly ridiculous premise and works wonders with it. The crazed hippies fighting the far more blue collar construction workers stand in for the fanatical soldiers in America’s cultural wars, with innocents like Sylvia, Pete, and Mildred caught in the middle with Andy. Director David Durston mixes horror and satire with a deft hand, suggesting that the rabies is ultimately just allowing people to show their true selves. I Drink Your Blood is an underground classic and thematically, it’s portrayal of a rabid world is just as relevant today as when it was first released.
Through the Shattered Lens 