Game Review: 1181 (2016, Grim and notgojira)

Posted on October 14, 2019 by Jedadiah Leland

1181 is one of the best horror Interactive Fiction games out there right now.

It starts out simply. You are a volunteer at a SETI lab, working the night shift. It can be monotonous work. Some of your colleagues seem to be struggling to adjust to the sterile nature of the place. Not even you are sure what is really going on at the lab. One night, something strange happens. The lights go out. A voice announces that you are on lock down. And something is coming up the stairs and heading straight for you.

The is a well-written and well-programmed Twine game that makes good use of visuals. Like most Twine games, it does run the risk of getting repetitive. Be careful about accidentally clicking the same word that you clicked before unless you really want to go through the same descriptive passage two times in a row. When played straight through, it’s a challenging and thought-provoking work of interactive fiction. It comes with multiple endings, some of which are good and some of which are definitely not.

It can be played by clicking here.

Game Review: Ham and Egg Lawyer

Posted on May 28, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

People tend to assume that, because I work in a law office, I know something about the law. Actually, beyond the fact that marijuana should be legalized and police officers should be more polite when they stop you for speeding, I know next to nothing about the law. (And, having typed that sentence, I now notice that both of those are personal opinions as opposed to legal facts.) I know how to keep an office neat and organized but, when it comes to the actual practice of the law, I’m about as lost as your typical art history major who has a day job as an administrative assistant.

So, perhaps that’s why I enjoyed playing Ham and Egg Lawyer.

In Ham and Egg Lawyer, you play a lawyer who is fresh out of a law school and who is in the process of setting up her first practice. What this means is that you spend most of your time answering the phone and getting asked various legal questions. (Occasionally, you also get a call from a telemarketer who offers you a chance to improve your web page.) The game takes place over 5 days and, once the work week has ended, you’re giving three different score — reputation, money, and stress — based on the choices you made.

Now, the main issue that some people will probably have with this game is that there really aren’t any concrete consequences for having either a low or a high score. For instance, you can have a terrible reputation but clients are still going to call you up and ask you about age of consent laws and whether or not you’d be willing to handle their DUI. By that some token, you could end up with a negative money score without having to worry about getting evicted, losing your practice, or starving to death.

But that didn’t really bother me. The game is well-written and the people who call the office are consistently amusing. From some of the comments that are made at the beginning of the game, I’m assuming that it was written by an actual lawyer and, as such, the game’s situations feel authentic. If nothing else, it makes for an interesting slice-of-life experience.

As for myself, when I played Ham and Egg Lawyer, I specifically went out of my way to pick all of the wrong and/or greedy choices. Bad legal advice? I gave it. Large retainers? I charged them. It wasn’t always easy because my natural instinct is always to try to help people out. “Oh no,” I occasionally thought to myself, “I shouldn’t have guaranteed that client that I’d be able to get him a large cash settlement. Even I know that!”

But then I reminded myself that it was just a game, I’m not really a lawyer, and it costs money to live well! “Fuck being ethical,” I thought as the in-game phone rang with another mark looking for legal help, “Lisa needs a new pair of shoes.”

As a result, I ended up with a high money score but a negative reputation score and you know what? I can live with that. At the very least, I can use that money to start advertising on TV and then let’s watch the cash come rolling on…

Yay!

Play the game here.

Game Review: Artist Survival Simulator

Posted on May 27, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

You’re looking at this post and you’re asking yourself, “Since when has Lisa cared about games? I thought she only cared about Italian horror films and Lifetime movies! Is Lisa seriously reviewing a game?”

Well, as a matter of fact, I am.

Why?

Because I love the Artist Survival Simulator.

The Artist Survival Simulator is a work of interactive fiction that was designed by using Twine. As the title suggests, the Artist Survival Simulator allows you to live the life of an artist. And who doesn’t want to be an artist, right? But, as this game shows, the life of an artist is not an easy one.

The game begins by asking you three times whether or not you really want to embark on this life. At the very least, you can’t say that you haven’t been warned. After clicking yes three times, you are informed that you have just completed your studies in fine arts! Yay! Your inspiration is strong (though, as you’ll soon find out, your inspiration increases and decreases depending on your actions throughout the game). You worked while you were in college so you’ve got 5,000 Euros saved up.

(That’s right — you’re European! So, while the rest of your fellow Europeans are busy voting for the UKIP and the Front National, you’re saving the world through art! Yay!)

Each month, you’re given four options. You can make art, you can work for a living, you can apply for a grant, or you can go on an inspirational excursion. Now, if you’re anything like me, you’re going to want to make art and that’s great. Depending on how or low your inspiration may be, you might create anything from a “timeless painting” to a “controversial monument” to a “mediocre sound art work.” But here’s the thing — regardless of what you create, you’re not going to make any money from it.

“That’s okay,” you say, “Art is not about money!”

Well, that’s all good and well and hey, good luck with that and enjoy your Occupy reunion, you moonbat. The fact of the matter is that, in both the game and real life, you need money to live. Each month, your living expenses total 1,000 Euros. As soon as you’re out of Euros, the game ends. So, go ahead and just concentrate on creating art. The game will be over in 5 turns.

So, let’s say you decide to spend a month working. Hey, that’s a good idea. At least you can make money. But here’s the problem — each month you spend working, your inspiration decreases. And here’s the thing — as your inspiration decreases, your art becomes less and less impressive and once you have totally run out of inspiration, your artistic career is over.

Luckily, there is a way to increase your inspiration. You can go on an “inspirational excursion,” which is also known as a vacation. These excursions are great because you return from them ready to create something wonderful. The only problem is that they cost 2,000 Euros, which means that as soon as you return, you’re in danger of running out of money. And how do we make money? By working, which decreases the inspiration that you just spent so much money to build up.

Okay, so how can you make money without destroying your inspiration? Well, you can apply for a grant but — much as in real life — there’s no way to predict whether or not you’ll actually get that grant. If you do get it, you’ll be able to spend a few months creating art but, if you don’t, it just means that you’ve wasted an entire month and you’re down another 1,000 Euros.

The challenge is to balance the need for money with the need for inspiration. Because, as soon as you run out of money and/or inspiration, you’re informed that maybe its time to start thinking about paying back your student loans…

THE HORROR!

I love the Artist Survival Simulator because it proves something that I’ve always suspected. If you want to survive as an artist, it helps to come from a rich family.

Play it here!