Retro Television Review: Love Boat 1.21 “Taking Sides/Going By The Book/A Friendly Little Game”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

It’s time to once again experience the magic of The Love Boat!

Episode 1.21 “Taking Sides/Going By The Book/A Friendly Little Game”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on February 18th, 1978)

This week’s episode begins with the extremely nerdy Howard Wilson (Harvey Jason) preparing to board the ship.  Before he does so, he’s approached by his best friend, Bernie (Paul Sylvan).  Bernie gives Howard a book on how to talk to women.  Apparently, this is something that Howard’s not good at but Bernie swears that the book will change his life.  There’s a Roy Lichtenstein-style picture of a man and a woman kissing on the cover of the book so Howard decides that Bernie knows what he’s talking about.

On the boat, Howard immediately notices Sheila Lawrence (Georgia Engel).  However, Sheila’s overprotective father (Herb Voland) has specifically asked Captain Stubing to make sure that no one seduces his daughter.  The captain assigns Doc Bricker (Bernie Kopell) to keep an eye on her, which makes absolutely no sense.  Over the course of the last twenty episodes, Doc has yet to meet a woman who he has not hit on.  Doc is a walking HR nightmare and quite frankly, I would be kind of uncomfortable going to him for a medical examination.  He seems like he would be a little bit handsy, if you get my drift.

Anyway, Doc turns out to be pretty bad at his job because Howard still manages to hit on Sheila.  Of course, Howard’s just doing what the book tells him to do.  Eventually, though, he realizes that he doesn’t need the book and Shelia realizes that she needs to spend more time on her own happiness and stop worry about what her father wants.  Yay!  It’s another Love Boat success story,

Meanwhile, Scott (Robert Urich) and Ellen (Diana Canova) are newlyweds who seem to be totally in love until they make the mistake of having dinner with an old married couple, Max (Robert Mandan) and Gladys (Audrey Meadows).  Listening to Max and Gladys bicker soon leads to Scott and Ellen bickering and it looks like their marriage might be over.  But again, the magic of The Love Boat leads to everyone realizing that bickering is a part of marriage and that you can still love someone even if you disagree with them.  Yay!  Robert Urich and Diana Canova were such a cute couple.  They just looked like they belonged together.

Finally, poor old Wendell Snead (Harry Morgan) is taking his wife on a cruise that he can’t really afford.  In fact, he secretly took out a mortgage on their house in order to buy the tickets.  Wendell has plan, though!  He has a set of marked playing cards and he beats Gopher at several games of gin rummy.  When the crew discovers that he’s been cheating, their initial reaction is to cheat back.  But when they learn why he’s been cheating, they give him all the money from the ship’s emergency fund.  Awwwwww!

This was a sweet episode.  Yes, the stuff with the book and the overprotective father was pretty stupid but the other two stories were entertaining.  Harry Morgan’s melancholy performance was the episode’s stand-out.  The fact that the crew gave him money instead of calling the cops brought tears to my mismatched eyes.  Nicely done, Love Boat.

What will happen next week?  We’ll find out in seven days!

Retro Television Reviews: City Guys 2.9 “Big Brother” and 2.10 “Over the Speed Limit”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Let’s return to Manny High, with the neat guys who are smart and streetwise!

Episode 2.9 “Big Brothers”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on November 7th, 1998)

It turns out that the students at Manny High are required to take on “community service projects!”  I mean, it’s not bad enough that they already have to deal with bullies, drug dealers, and gun violence.  They also have to do give back to the community.  While Dawn signs up to spend time with a grouchy old man, Jamal and Chris are assigned to be big brothers to a 10 year-old delinquent named Ernesto.

Ernesto, incidentally, is played by Brandon Baker who would later go on to play Cray on One World.  On One World, Cray was a fairly annoying character but that had less to do with Baker’s performance and more to do with the fact that he always got the worst lines of every episode.  While the scripts for City Guys were often full of cringey dialogue, they were still marginally better than the scripts for One World and that works to Baker’s advantage.  He’s actually not bad Ernesto.

Of course, Jamal and Chris totally screw up being big brothers.  Is there nothing that those two didn’t screw up?  However, eventually, they realize that Ernesto is an aspiring artist.  Meanwhile, Dawn’s old man is former architect.  The three of them decide to have Ernesto hang out with the old man.  Problem solved!

Meanwhile, L-Train is somehow assigned to be a teacher’s assistant for Driver’s Ed.  L-Train turns out to be a harsh and demanding teacher but it turns out that it was all for the best as everyone passes, including Al and Cassidy!  Yay!  Everything works out for everyone!  That’s what happens when you roll with the city guys.  As improbable as it may be that L-Train would end up teaching a class, the episode does give Steven Daniel a chance to show once again that he probably had the best comedic timing of the entire cast.

Episode 2.10 “Over The Speed Limit”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on November 14th, 1998)

Cassidy gets hooked on speed!  Well, it’s not really speed.  It’s diet pills that also provide a burst of energy but they also lead to Cassidy missing class and generally overacting and …. what?  Yes, you are correct.  This is indeed the same basic plot as the I’m So Excited! episode of Saved By The Bell.  Cassidy says that she needs the pills because she’s both starring in a play and going to school.  Of course, she ends up having a speed-induced meltdown during the premiere of the play.  It was, needless to say, totally unrealistic.

Meanwhile, Al and L-Train got a radio show of their own and started to become more popular than Chris and Jamal.  However, Al and L-Train’s egos got the better of them, allowing Chris and Jamal to continue to dominate the airwaves or whatever the Hell it is that they’re supposed to be doing in the school radio station.  To be honest, I’ve never quite understood how the whole radio station thing works.  I mean, are they hosting the show during class time or are they showing up at school super early in the morning so that they can entertain everyone before the bell rings?  Or are they hosting their show while everyone else is eating lunch?  Add to that, it seems like Al and L-Train had a point.  Why should Chris and Jamal be the only people hosting a radio show?

Perhaps that question will be answered next week.  Perhaps not.  We’ll see!

Retro Television Review: One World 1.5 “Community Service” and 1.6 “The 12 Steps to Ben”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Fridays, I will be reviewing One World, which ran on NBC from 1998 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

The Cast of One World

When last we checked in with Miami’s favorite foster family, Jane was apologizing for trying to steal a watch for her foster father’s birthday.  It was a sweet moment.  Let’s see if the show continued to build on that momentum.

Because you know what?  We’re living in one world….

Episode 1.5 “Community Service”

(directed by Chuck Vinson, originally aired on October 10th, 1998)

“This party blows!” Jane declares, “There’s no fights!  Nothing’s been broken!  No one’s fallen off the roof!”

Yes, the Blake children are throwing a party because their foster parents are out for the night.  Unfortunately, the music gets too loud so the police come by and issue them a citation for disturbing the peace.  The Blake parents convince the judge to give their children community service.  “Community service is for punks!” Jane declares.

Marci, Jane, Neal, and Ben end up volunteering at the hospital, where they learn how to help the sick.  Neal and Ben both fall in love with a doctor who, shockingly, doesn’t want much to do with teenagers who are doing court-mandated community service.  Marci nearly kills a patient when she sells him a hot dog, nachos, and a cigar.  Jane bonds with an initially hostile boy her age who is terminally ill.  This episode would have been super depressing if not for the fact that the hospital set was obviously the same one that was used in Saved By The Bell when Zach had to have knee surgery.

Fortunately, the B-plot was more fun.  Sui had to bake a cake for a class but, unfortunately, Mrs. Blake was stuck in bed with the flu.  So, Mr. Blake had to help Sui with the baking and yes, it was a disaster.  I laughed because I knew Sui’s struggle.  Baking isn’t as easy as the commercials make it seem.  Plus, Sui’s the coolest member of the family.

At the end of the show, Neal and Ben ended up delivering a baby in a stalled elevator and Jane takes the dying kid to the Warehouse so that he can experience “Miami’s hottest under 21 club.”

Episode 1.6 “The 12 Steps To Ben”

(directed by Chuck Vinson, originally aired on October 17th, 1998)

I guess Jane’s new boyfriend died after the end of the fifth episode because the sixth episode finds her in love with her new stepbrother, Ben.  Unfortunately for Jane, Ben has a new girlfriend, Alex (Jordana Spiro).  Unfortunately for Ben, Alex is an alcoholic.  Unfortunately for Alex, Ben is a recovering alcoholic and he tricks her into going to an AA meeting.  In other words, the Saturday night date is now assumed.  That’s the first sign of a committed relationship.  They’re as good as married now!

Every TNBC show always had at least a few episodes that centered around drinking.  Unfortunately, they always made it looks like everyone was having too much fun whenever they were drunk so I imagine they probably inspired most of their viewers to think, “I can’t wait until I can try that!”

Since the main plot was pretty heavy, the B-plot featured Marci and Sui selling candy bars and …. getting arrested.  These kids sure did get arrested a lot.

Wow, those two episodes were kind of heavy.  Will One World ever lighten up?  We’ll find out next week!

ABC Family Stitchers preview


Stitchers

Stitchers photo

Stars:

Emma Ishta (Manhatten Love Story) as Kirsten
Kyle Harris (The Carrie Diaries) as Cameron
Allison Scagliotti (Warehouse 13) as Camille
and Salli Richardson-Whitfield (Eureka) as Maggie

ABC Family has come a long way with their drama series, from “So little time” to “Kyle XY” (which I loved) “Ravenswood, “Twisted” “The Fosters” and arguably their biggest hit “Pretty Little Liars“. The network now offers us a new look into the teen drama with “Stitchers

Following the path of Kirsten, a young woman drafted into a government agency to be ‘stitched’ into the minds of the recently dead to use their memories to solve mysteries that would otherwise gone unsolved. That is the premise. Seems simple, right? Yeah, that is what I thought too.

Now, let’s get things complicated. Kirsten suffers from temporal dysplasia, a condition that can not let her have any perception of time. I don’t know if this leaves her without empathy or that she just doesn’t care, either way it will be interesting to find out.

Kirsten, as a character, leaves me a bit cold, and when your leading character does nothing to add to the show, it is bound to end up bad!

Given that “Stitchers” premieres after the CW’s iZombie and is in the same vein (sorry for the pun), the comparisons are there. For me though, iZombie is the better show. There are enough questions to keep me interested, but for how long?

Quotes:

“I’m to old to do a stint in Gitmo… I’m not”
“Trained monkey? I can work with that.”
“You can harvest the memories of the dead, but this requires a whole new set of skills”

“Stitchers” premiers on ABC Family after “Pretty Little Liars” June 2nd at 9 east.