Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Gun, an anthology series that ran on ABC for six week in 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Gun welcomes …. JAMES GANDOLFINI!

Episode 1.3 “Columbus Day”

(Dir by James Steven Sadwith, originally aired on May 3rd, 1997)

The third episode of Gun does indeed features James Gandolfini.  Gandolfini play Walter Difideli, who seems to have quite a bit in common with Gandolfini’s best-known character.  Like Tony Soprano, Walter is proud of his Italian heritage, loudly discussing the superiority of men like Amerigo Vespucci and Christopher Columbus.  Walter makes it a point to stay home on Columbus Day so that he can properly celebrate.  Like Tony, Walter boasts about how he will always take care of his family and he also has something of a quick temper.  And, like Tony, Walter keeps a gun around the house.

However, there are a few differences as well.  For one thing, Walter is firmly on the side of law and order.  Unlike Tony, who lived in a mansion and never worried about the legality of his activities. Walter is very honest and, as a result, he and his family live in a crappy apartment.  Another big difference between Walter and Tony is that, while Tony always had a mistress, Walter is loyal to his wife, Lilly (Rosanna Arquette).  Walter is not one to cheat.  The only cheating in the marriage is done by his wife.

Walter works for TSA at an airport.  One day, he helps to chase down a terrorist.  Before the terrorist is captured, he tosses his gun — the Gun of the show’s title — into a janitor’s cart.  When the janitor later comes across the gun, he sells it to Walter for $50.

Walter wants Lilly to have a gun because he’s taking an extra job at night so that he can raise enough money to afford ballet lessons for their daughter and an engagement ring for his wife.  (When they were engaged, he could never afford to get her a ring.)  Lilly is unhappy about Walter refusing to let her work and instead expecting her to spend all of her time around the apartment.  But then Lilly meets one of her neighbors, a writer named Jack Keyes (Peter Horton).  Soon, she and Jack are having a passionate affair, one that inspires Jack to write a less-than-flattering shorty story called The Tryst.

Meanwhile, the terrorist’s collaborator wants to get the gun back and, after he finds out that Walter has it, he starts harassing Walter at work and later at his apartment.  The nervous Walter starts to carry around the gun with him.  When Lilly, upset over Jack’s short story, deletes all of his files from his laptop, the angry Jack goes down to Lilly’s apartment and kicks open the door.  What he doesn’t know is that Walter is waiting on the other side of the door, with his gun.  Jack ends up dead.  Walter is declared a hero for protecting his home.  Lilly submits Jack’s short story under her name and it gets published.  And the terrorist …. well, he’s just kind of forgotten about.

This was an unsatisfying episode, one that ended with a few too many loose ends still dangling.  (At one point, it’s revealed that Jack secretly films his encounters with Lilly but it’s one of those plot points that goes nowhere.)  An even bigger problem was that there really wasn’t anyone in this episode who seemed worthy of being the center of a story.  Walter was a hopelessly naïve blowhard.  Lilly cheated on her devoted husband and never appeared to feel the least bit of guilt about it, even after Walter gunned down her lover.  Jack was a jerk but it’s hard not to feel that he deserved better than to have his life’s work deleted by the whiny Lilly.  The performances were all good but none of the characters seemed to be worth the effort.

Still, for James Ganolfini fans, this episode does provide a bit of a dry run for Gandolfini’s legendary performance as Tony Soprano.  Imagine a world where Tony is a complete dunce and you’ll probably come up with this episode of Gun.