The Eric Roberts Collection: Megaboa (dir by Mario N. Bonassin)


Bless the Asylum and their love of giant monster movies!

In 2021’s Megaboa, a group of college students accompany Dr. Malone (Eric Roberts) a field trip to a remote island.  They’re on the island specifically to explore some caves and study some drawings.  It’s time to have some fun with anthropology!  But when Dr. Malone gets bitten by a venomous spider, a group of students go off in search of an orchid that can neutralize the venom.  This eventually leads to them discovering that they’re not alone on the island.  There’s also a giant snake, a megaboa if you will.

This is pretty much a typical Asylum film.  Giant snakes, tank top-wearing heroines, and Eric Roberts hamming it up in his usual delightful fashion.  “Far out!” Dr. Malone says when he first sees the giant snake and how can you not agree with him?  Those who complain that the Asylum makes cheap movies are missing the point.  The film may be cheap but they’re almost always fun as well.  This one features a giant snake that is actually kind of cute and it also features a scene of someone shouting, “Get me out of here!” after being swallowed by the snake and how can you not enjoy that?  It’s like a much more honest and self-aware version of Anaconda and, best of all, it’s got Eric Roberts delivering his lines with a twinkle in his eye.  He knows better than to take any of this too seriously and hopefully, you do as well.

Megaboa is fun.  It’s like the type of films that I used to look forward to watching on the SyFy channel.  Get together with a group of your wittiest friends and watch it.  Don’t be afraid to talk back to the movie.  Don’t be afraid to laugh when the snake first shows up.  Tell the characters when they’re doing something dumb, that’s the point of the film.  Megaboa is pure entertainment.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Runaway Train (1985)
  3. Best of the Best (1989)
  4. Blood Red (1989)
  5. The Ambulance (1990)
  6. The Lost Capone (1990)
  7. Best of the Best II (1993)
  8. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  9. Voyage (1993)
  10. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  11. Sensation (1994)
  12. Dark Angel (1996)
  13. Doctor Who (1996)
  14. Most Wanted (1997)
  15. Mercy Streets (2000)
  16. Raptor (2001)
  17. Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 (2001)
  18. Strange Frequency (2001)
  19. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  20. Border Blues (2004)
  21. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  22. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  23. We Belong Together (2005)
  24. Hey You (2006)
  25. Depth Charge (2008)
  26. Amazing Racer (2009)
  27. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  28. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  29. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  30. The Expendables (2010) 
  31. Sharktopus (2010)
  32. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  33. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  34. Deadline (2012)
  35. The Mark (2012)
  36. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  37. Assault on Wall Street (2013)
  38. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  39. Lovelace (2013)
  40. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  41. The Perfect Summer (2013)
  42. Self-Storage (2013)
  43. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  44. This Is Our Time (2013)
  45. Inherent Vice (2014)
  46. Road to the Open (2014)
  47. Rumors of War (2014)
  48. Amityville Death House (2015)
  49. Deadly Sanctuary (2015)
  50. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  51. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  52. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  53. Enemy Within (2016)
  54. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  55. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  56. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  57. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  58. Dark Image (2017)
  59. Black Wake (2018)
  60. Frank and Ava (2018)
  61. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  62. Clinton Island (2019)
  63. Monster Island (2019)
  64. The Reliant (2019)
  65. The Savant (2019)
  66. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  67. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  68. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  69. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  70. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  71. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  72. Top Gunner (2020)
  73. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  74. The Elevator (2021)
  75. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  76. Killer Advice (2021)
  77. Night Night (2021)
  78. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  79. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  80. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  81. Bleach (2022)
  82. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  83. 69 Parts (2022)
  84. D.C. Down (2023)
  85. Aftermath (2024)
  86. Bad Substitute (2024)
  87. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  88. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  89. When It Rains In L.A. (2025

The Eric Roberts Collection: DC Down (dir by Geoff Meed)


In 2023’s DC Down, Washington D.C. is hit by an earthquake!

It’s a 6.3 on the Richter scale, which means the aftershocks are going to be even worse.  The Washington Monument now has a big crack on it.  The Potomac is threatening to flood the city.  And even worse, both the President (Sean Young) and the Vice President are trapped underneath a bunch of White House rubble.  (Fortunately, the main White House is still standing and actually looks remarkably sturdy.  The President and the Vice President were touring a new wing of the White House that was under construction.)

General Harris (Terry Woodbury) is determined to head up efforts to dig up the chief executive and hopefully find either her or the Vice President alive.  However, Speaker of the House Terry Wilder (Eric Roberts) has other ideas.  First, Wilder invokes the 25th Amendment and takes over as temporary President.  Then he suggests that a militia group be brought in to search through the rubble and rescue the president.  General Harris thinks that’s an odd idea but, in the end, he goes with it.  Needless to say, Wilder does not have the president’s best interests at heart.  For him, this earthquake is the perfect opportunity to take over.  He orders the head of the militia to kill the president when she is found.  Can Wilder be stopped?

(For that matter, do we want to stop Wilder?  Eric Roberts seems like he would be a much more entertaining president that Sean Young.)

D.C. Down is another Asylum mockbuster, the type that I used to love to watch on the SyFy network.  It’s cheap and it’s ridiculous and it’s self-aware enough to be entertaining despite all of that.  You have to appreciate any film that can not only work in an earthquake and a flood but also a political coup.  Add to that, Eric Roberts actually gets a few more scenes than usual in this film.  I have to admit that I laughed out loud when he first appeared, casually walking up to the ruins of the White House extension as if it was just another day in the nation’s capitol.  But, again, that’s a part of the charm of DIY, almost-punk rock charm of the Asylum and their mockbusters.  They defy the conventional definitions of good and bad and they create a unique cinematic world all their own, in this case a world where both Sean Young and Eric Roberts can be President over the course of a day.  Good for the Asylum!  I hope they never stop making movies.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Runaway Train (1985)
  3. Blood Red (1989)
  4. The Ambulance (1990)
  5. The Lost Capone (1990)
  6. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  7. Voyage (1993)
  8. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  9. Sensation (1994)
  10. Dark Angel (1996)
  11. Doctor Who (1996)
  12. Most Wanted (1997)
  13. Mercy Streets (2000)
  14. Raptor (2001)
  15. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  16. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  17. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  18. Hey You (2006)
  19. Amazing Racer (2009)
  20. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  21. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  22. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  23. The Expendables (2010) 
  24. Sharktopus (2010)
  25. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  26. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  27. Deadline (2012)
  28. The Mark (2012)
  29. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  30. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  31. Lovelace (2013)
  32. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  33. Self-Storage (2013)
  34. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  35. This Is Our Time (2013)
  36. Inherent Vice (2014)
  37. Road to the Open (2014)
  38. Rumors of War (2014)
  39. Amityville Death House (2015)
  40. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  41. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  42. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  43. Enemy Within (2016)
  44. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  45. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  46. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  47. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  48. Dark Image (2017)
  49. Black Wake (2018)
  50. Frank and Ava (2018)
  51. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  52. Clinton Island (2019)
  53. Monster Island (2019)
  54. The Reliant (2019)
  55. The Savant (2019)
  56. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  57. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  58. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  59. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  60. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  61. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  62. Top Gunner (2020)
  63. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  64. The Elevator (2021)
  65. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  66. Killer Advice (2021)
  67. Night Night (2021)
  68. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  69. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  70. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  71. Bleach (2022)
  72. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  73. Aftermath (2024)
  74. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  75. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  76. When It Rains In L.A. (2025

October Positivity: The Apocalypse (dir by Justin Jones)


First released in 2007 and produced by The Asylum, The Apocalypse opens in much the same way as many Asylum films.  An asteroid is hurtling towards the Earth.  It crashes into our planet without warning, destroying the town of Monterey.  (“And nothing of value was lost!” says the old timey Borscht Belt comedian.)  Then more asteroids strike the planet, causing mass panic.  The power goes out.  People desperately try to reach their loved ones.

And then a tornado hits out of nowhere.

And then the state of California is suddenly hit by torrential rainfall.

And then….

Well, you get it.  Things are not going well in California or in the rest of the world.  As I said at the start of this review, the Earth being bombarded with asteroids is a pretty common theme when it comes to the Asylum.  Indeed, anyone who has watched more than a handful of Asylum films is probably already picturing the stock footage of the asteroid hurtling through space with Earth in the distance.  I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve seen that rock start to burst into flames as it enters the atmosphere.

What sets The Apocalypse apart from other Asylum asteroid films is that, after the first asteroid hits, people start to vanish.  They’re not crushed underneath an asteroid, or at least they aren’t as far as we can tell.  Instead, they just seem to vanish into thin air, as if they’ve been taken to another place.  Those who do not vanish can only stand around and wonder why they didn’t go to church more often….

“I’ve been left behind,” one character says and yes, this is indeed a mockbuster version of the Left Behind films.  I guess it makes sense.  The Asylum has produced mockbuster versions of every other genre out there.  Why shouldn’t they also try to cash in on the end times.  Really, one has to respect the fact that the Asylum managed to make its own Left Behind film without abandoning the idea of the world being bombarded by asteroids.

(And, if we’re going to be honest, the idea of God using asteroids to destroy humanity actually makes a lot more sense than the usual story that these films tend to tell.  I mean, asteroids have to be good for something, right?)

The Apocalypse follows Jason (Rhett Giles) and Ashley (Jill Stapley), a divorced couple who are trying to make their way through the state of California so that they can see their daughter Lindsay (Kristen Quintrall) before the world ends.  Along the way, Jason and Ashley discuss their own failed marriage and their guilt over the death of their son.  Though Jason and Ashley do have to deal with some unexpected weather and asteroid events, the film itself is surprisingly somber for an Asylum film.  There’s far less self-referential humor than in the usual Asylum film.  The pace is deliberate, thoughtful, and, to be honest, a bit too reverential for its own good.  The world ends but it ends very slowly.  This is probably the talkiest film that the Asylum has ever produced.

That said, the film does create a believable portrait of the type of desperation that would accompany the end of the world, with the various characters all attempting to find some sort of peace before everything ends.  The special effects may be a bit cheap but the images of deserted streets and desolate countryside are far more effective than what one might expect from an Asylum film.  This is a case where the mockbuster, flaws and all, is still superior to the original.

The TSL Grindhouse: Locked Up (dir by Jared Cohn)


The 2017 film Locked Up tells the story of Mallory (Kelly McCart).

Mallory is not having a great life.  Her wealthy father has relocated to an unnamed county in Southern Asia.  (The film was shot in Thailand but the uniforms that we see various officials wearing seem more appropriate for North Korea.)  Mallory lives with her Uncle Tommy (Jared Cohen), who is Mallory’s legal guardian while her father is off doing whatever it is that he does.  Mallory goes to a school where she is the only American and certainly the only redhead.  She is bullied to such an extent that she finally snaps and punches another student.  Mallory is promptly arrested and sentenced to the country’s version of reform school.

When Tommy and Mallory first arrive at the facility, it seems to be clean and welcoming.  The Warden (Maythavee Burapasing) appears to be friendly and compassionate.  It seems like the type of place that all of us bleeding hearts are always insisting that we need here in America.  It’s only after Tommy leaves that the truth is revealed.  The reform school is actually a prison and the Warden is a sadistic tyrant.  Mallory is tossed into a filthy cell with several other girls and ordered to strip while everyone watches.  One of Mallory’s cellmates, Kat (Katrina Grey), orders Mallory not to cry because Kat doesn’t want the sound of her tears keeping her awake at night.

After manipulating Mallory into signing a document that says she doesn’t want her uncle to visit her in prison, The Warden reveals that she enjoys watching the prisoners fight.  She informs Mallory that she has two weeks to prepare for her first fight and that, if Mallory doesn’t fight, she will be gang raped twice a week for as long as she remains in the prison.  Mallory, having no experience with fighting (despite having hit that one student hard enough to get sentenced to confinement), begs Kat to train her.  At first reluctant, Kat eventually agrees.  But can even Kat’s training prepare Mallory for a fight against the fearsome Riza (Anastasia Maslova)?

If this all sounds rather exploitive, that’s because it is.  The film hit every sordid women-in-prison cliche with the efficiency of well-wound clock.  In fact, it’s so dedicated to hitting all of the expected beats that it actually becomes a bit comical at times.  Less than a minute after she enters her cell, Mallory has another inmate talking about how cute she is and sniffing her neck.  Mallory and Kat’s fight training inevitably leads to a shower room sex scene and Kat talking about how she’s in prison because her boyfriend convinced her to be a drug smuggler.  Meanwhile, because she is determined to turn Riza into a killing machine, The Warden personally injects steroids into Riza’s neck.  It’s all so shameless that you can’t help but appreciate the film’s audacity, even if there are several scenes (most of which involve the Warden’s threat to have the guards rape Mallory) that cross the line from being merely tasteless to being actually offensive.

Locked Up is an Asylum Production.  Like most Asylum films, it makes no excuses or apologies for being what it is.  (Regardless of how you feel about their films, it’s hard not to appreciate The Asylum’s honesty.)  In most ways, Locked Up is a pretty dumb movie but director Jared Cohen keeps the action moving quickly and The Warden is a properly hissable villain.  The Warden tells Mallory that her problem is that Americans have allowed themselves to become weak and, even if the film’s portrayal of Asia makes Midnight Express‘s portrayal of Turkey seem fair and balanced, it’s hard not to feel that the Warden has a point.  Get out there and fight, America!

The TSL Grindhouse: Jailbait (dir by Jared Cohn)


First released in 2014, Jailbait tells the story of Anna Nix (Sara Malakul Lane).

Anna is a teenager who loves to play the cello, largely because it allow her a mentally escape from her abusive homelife.  When her stepfather sexually assaults her, Anna pushes him back and he ends up hitting his head on a wall and promptly dying.  After her own mother testifies that Anna is lying about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepfather, Anna is sent to a juvenile prison.

Warden Frank Baragan (Steve Hanks) has a quick smile and a dorky sense of humor and he might seem earnest and supportive when he tries to encourage Anna to play her cello at the prison talent show but he quickly reveals himself to be as much of a perv as Anna’s stepfather.  Warden Frank is willing to help Anna but only if she does things for him.  (You can guess what things.)  And, even when Anna complies, Frank makes it clear that there’s no way he’s going to support her efforts to get parole.

There’s a lot to deal with in this prison.  Anna’s cellmate, the well-meaning Genie (Jennifer Robyn Jacobs), may love her but Genie can only provide so much support.  Meanwhile, gang leader Kody (Erin O’Brien) provides Anna with protection but only as long as Anna follows orders.  (Kody even forces Anna to get a tattoo identifying her as being a part of the gang.)  As soon as Anna tries to get away from Kody, she finds herself targeted.  Anna soon starts smoking and then injecting drugs, becoming an addict who is continually sent to the dark, dirty, and vermin-infested isolation cells, where no clothing is allowed.  (Yuck!  If I was ever on one of those Scared Straight shows, all of that would be enough to keep me out of prison.)  Will Anna be able to survive long enough to not only impress the other prisoners with her cello skills but also to expose the corrupt warden?

Released by The Asylum, Jailbait hits all of the usual women-in-prison movie beats.  It’s definitely a sordid film, one of those movies where everyone somehow still looks good despite living in a filthy prison and only getting to take a shower once or twice a week.  (Occasionally, someone will get a smudge of dirt on their face but considering the amount of time that many of the characters spend locked away naked in a filthy cell, everyone still looks remarkably clean and healthy.)  That said, Jailbait was still better than I was expecting, largely due to the performance of Sara Malakul Lane, who didn’t let the fact that she was starring in an exploitation film keep her from giving a fully committed performance.  She gets strong support from Jennifer Robyn Jacobs, Erin O’Brien, and especially Steve Hanks.  (Oh, how you will hate the Warden!)  Director Jared Cohn is a veteran when it comes to directing on a low budget and he keeps the action moving quickly.

Don’t get me wrong, of course.  The film has its flaws.  I’ve read a few comments online from some people who felt that the cello scenes were not convincing.  I’ve never played the cello so, to be honest, I really wouldn’t know.  But, with all that in mind, this film is far better than I would expect any film called Jailbait to be.

The Eric Roberts Collection: Top Gunner: America vs Russia (dir by Christopher Ray)


The latest addition to the quasi-franchise that started with 2020’s Top Gunner, 2023’s Top Gunner: America vs Russia takes place in the near future.

Russia’s war with Ukraine has led to a stalemate.  When the United States starts to take a more active role in defending Ukraine and arming the dissidents in Russia, it leads to a coup in Russia.  President Vasiliev (Alex Veadow) wants to bring about a new era of peace but, when he’s assassinated, the new president of Russia, the evil Borovsk (Pavel Kuzin), accuses the United States of being behind the murder and declares war on the U.S.A.  Soon, Russian jets are invading the airspace of Washington D.C. and blowing up the Washington Monument.  (The White House gets hit by a bomb as well but, fortunately, it’s not a very impressive bomb.)  Borovsk is such a fanatic that he is even prepared to launch his country’s nuclear arsenal against America.  Such an action would, of course, lead to the end of the world.

Fortunately, America is not just going to roll over and accept defeat.  (Or, at least, it’s not going to accept defeat in the movies.  In the real world, it seems to be a different story.)  America has fighter pilots, like Footloose (Andrew Rogers) and Firefly (Kayla Fields), who are dedicated to defending the nation.  America has a super-secret new jet than can even fly into deep space so it can fire missiles at a Russian satellite.  America has got CIA operatives like Veronica Vachs (Simone Posey) operating in Moscow.  America has got a Vice President (Gary Poux) who believes in the country’s destiny.  And, perhaps most importantly of all, America has got Eric Roberts.

Eric Roberts also appeared in the first Top Gunner, though he was playing a different character in that film.  In Top Gunner, Eric Roberts was a flight instructor.  In Top Gunner: America vs Russia, Eric Roberts is …. PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!

As President Jeremiah Stewart, Eric Roberts gives orders and refuses to be pushed around and always puts America first.  When he hears that Washington D.C. might soon be attacked, he doesn’t show a hint of fear.  He doesn’t run off to a bunker.  He doesn’t whine about not being popular.  He doesn’t desert America’s allies.  Seriously, he’s one of the best president that I’ve ever seen and I would certainly vote for Jeremiah Stewart in 2024 before I even considered casting a ballot for any of the other jokers that are running.  Just by casting Eric Roberts as the President, Top Gunner: America vs Russia wins the war.  When Roberts says that he doesn’t care what the official protocol is, you believe him.  I bet when he’s not fighting the Russians, President Stewart is working to repeal the 16th Amendment.  (That’s the one about income tax.)  Seriously, I want to see this guy on Mt. Rushmore.

Anyway, this is a typical Asylum film.  The special effects are cheap but it seems like everyone had fun working on the film and it’s hard not get swept up in the silliness of it all.  I mean, at one point, a fighter plane literally flies into space without a bit of concern for stuff like oxygen or heat shields or anything else.  It’s so shamelessly absurd that it feels rather churlish to nitpick.  Most importantly, it’s a movie about how America kicks ass and, in these troubled times, who can’t appreciate that?  I mean, how could we not kick ass with Eric Roberts leading us?

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Blood Red (1989)
  3. The Ambulance (1990)
  4. The Lost Capone (1990)
  5. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  6. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  7. Sensation (1994)
  8. Dark Angel (1996)
  9. Doctor Who (1996)
  10. Most Wanted (1997)
  11. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  12. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  13. Hey You (2006)
  14. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  15. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  16. The Expendables (2010) 
  17. Sharktopus (2010)
  18. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  19. Deadline (2012)
  20. The Mark (2012)
  21. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  22. Lovelace (2013)
  23. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  24. Self-Storage (2013)
  25. This Is Our Time (2013)
  26. Inherent Vice (2014)
  27. Road to the Open (2014)
  28. Rumors of War (2014)
  29. Amityville Death House (2015)
  30. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  31. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  32. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  33. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  34. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  35. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  36. Dark Image (2017)
  37. Black Wake (2018)
  38. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  39. Clinton Island (2019)
  40. Monster Island (2019)
  41. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  42. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  43. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  44. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  45. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  46. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  47. Top Gunner (2020)
  48. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  49. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  50. Killer Advice (2021)
  51. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  52. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  53. Bleach (2022)
  54. My Dinner With Eric (2022)

Here’s The Trailer For The Exorcists!


David Gordon Green is not the only filmmaker with an Exorcist film coming out.

The Asylum also has an Exorcist film coming up and if I have to choose between the two, you know that I’m going to go with The Asylum every time!

Here’s the the trailer for The Exorcists, from the Asylum:

The Eric Roberts Collection: Top Gunner (dir by Daniel Lusko)


In this 2020 film from The Asylum, Eric Roberts stars as Col. Herring.

Herring is in charge of an Air Force training base that sits off the coast of Baja California.  He’s tough and he’s no-nonsense but he also truly loves the pilots that are training under his guidance.  Sparrow (Carol Anne Watts), Cowboy (Ignacyo Matynia), and Spielman (Julian Cavett) might just be recent graduates from the Academy who have never actually served in combat but Herring is convinced that they can be amongst the best of the best.  As he puts it, they can be …. Top Gunner!

They get a chance to prove themselves when an advanced airplane carrying a U.S. black ops group makes an emergency landing at the base.  As Lassen (Reavis Dorsey) explains it, he and his people have just stolen a chemical weapon from the Russians and now, the Russians are desperate to get it back.  The weapon is continually referred to as being the CRISPR.  The word “CRISPR” is used about a hundred times over the course of this movie.  “We have to get the CRISPR!” various characters say.  The problem is that CRISPR sounds more like a name for a hamburger grill than a dangerous chemical weapon.  Seriously, who wouldn’t want to use the CRISPR to prepare dinner?  The CRISPR grills up the best burgers!

With the Russians heading towards the base, it falls on the untested pilots to take to the air and fight them off.  At first, no one has much confidence in the pilots.  Even the pilots themselves aren’t sure that they can defeat the Russians.  But you know who never loses faith?  Colonel Herring.  The Colonel may be a stern taskmaster but he believes in his pilots!

As you’ve probably already guessed, Top Gunner was meant to be a mockbuster of Top Gun: Maverick.  However, because the release of Top Gun: Maverick was continually delayed by the COVID lockdowns, Top Gunner was actually released on video a full two years before Maverick made it into theaters.  That makes it all the more interesting that Top Gunner is all about preventing an enemy nation from using a chemical weapon that, we’re told, could cause a pandemic if released upon humanity.  In a world where COVID didn’t (allegedly) escape from that lab and cause the world to come to a halt, Top Gunner‘s story would probably be described as being implausible.  However, in our current pandemic culture, it’s tempting to look at the pilots in a film like Top Gunner and say, “Where were you when we needed you?”

As you’ve probably already guessed, the budget of Top Gunner was nowhere close to the budget for Top Gun or Top Gun: Maverick.  As opposed to those two films, one never gets the feeling that the pilots in Top Gunner are actually flying their planes or risking their lives to get the shot.  The film’s plot also never makes a whole lot of sense.  But the action moves quickly and, as always, Eric Roberts is fun to watch.  His hair is perhaps a bit too long for an Air Force colonel and there are a few times when he seems to be struggling to hide his amusement at some of his dialogue.  But, for the most part, Roberts delivers his lines with the proper amount of authority.  At last count, Eric Roberts has over 700 credits to his name.  Top Gunner is certainly not the best film that Roberts has ever appeared in but it’s not the worst either.  Mostly, it’s a film just makes you happy that, no matter what else happens, Eric Roberts endures.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Blood Red (1989)
  3. The Ambulance (1990)
  4. The Lost Capone (1990)
  5. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  6. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  7. Sensation (1994)
  8. Doctor Who (1996)
  9. Most Wanted (1997)
  10. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  11. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  12. Hey You (2006)
  13. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  14. The Expendables (2010) 
  15. Sharktopus (2010)
  16. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  17. Lovelace (2013)
  18. Self-Storage (2013)
  19. Inherent Vice (2014)
  20. Rumors of War (2014)
  21. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  22. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  23. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  24. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  25. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  26. Monster Island (2019)
  27. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  28. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  29. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  30. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  31. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  32. Killer Advice (2021)
  33. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  34. My Dinner With Eric (2022)

Cleaning Out The DVR: Deep Blue Nightmare (dir by Jared Cohn)


Yay!  It’s an Asylum shark movie!

By this point, all of our readers should know that I love the Asylum and I love shark movies.  Unfortunately, with the SyFy channel moving away from showing original films, there’s been a definite lack of Asylum shark movies on television.  So, it was good of Lifetime to step up to the plate and show Deep Blue Nightmare!

(Deep Blue Nightmare was originally released, in 2020, as Shark Season.  However, because Lifetime is addicted to changing the titles of the films that they acquire, the title was changed to Deep Blue Nightmare.  I think either title works.  Shark Season gets right to the point of the film — SHARK! — while Deep Blue Nightmare sounds a bit more lifetime-y.)

It all starts out with three acquaintances kayaking out to a remote island.  One giant shark attack later and you’re down to two people, who are now isolated in the ocean.  Sarah (Paige McGarvin) and Meghan (Juliana Destefano) have every reason to hate each other, seeing as Meghan was dating Sarah’s ex-boyfriend.  But now that the ex-boyfriend has become shark nourishment and Sarah and Meghan are floating out in the middle of nowhere, they’re going to have to work together if they’re going to survive!

Fortunately, Sarah’s father is James (Michael Madsen) and James used to be a member of the Civil Air Patrol!  If James can figure out where the island is actually located, he can direct the patrol to rescue Sarah and Meghan.  But, of course, he’s going to find the island before the shark gets around to eating his daughter because, as quickly becomes apparent, the shark isn’t going anywhere.

As Steven Spielberg proved nearly fifty years ago, you really can’t go wrong with sharks.  Their reputation for being the ultimate aquatic predator might be overstated but they’re certainly among the most cinematic of the creatures living in the ocean.  Of course, movie sharks are always a bit more clever than real life sharks.  Real life sharks just eat whatever happens to be in front of them.  Movie sharks are far more calculating and they also have the ability to jump out of the water and cleanly bite someone in half whenever they feel like it.  That may or may not be realistic but, in the end, it’s not reality of how a shar behaves that really matters.  Instead, it’s the fact that no one wants to get eaten by a shark or lose a limb to a shark.  It’s true that Bethany Hamilton managed to maintain a good attitude even after losing an arm to a shark attack but, deep down, we all know that we’re nowhere near as cool as Bethany Hamilton.

Another thing that makes sharks effective cinematic threats is that they always seem to pop up near the most tranquil of beaches and in the bluest water.  In Deep Blue Nightmare, there’s quite a contrast between the beauty of the ocean and the fearsome predator that’s hunting underneath the surface.  The shadow of the shark serves as a reminder of the potential chaos that lurks behind every corner.  Enjoy the beach.  Enjoy the water.  But never forget that a shark could get you at any minute.

I enjoyed Deep Blue Nightmare.  If you’re a fan of shark action, it makes for an entertaining 90 minutes.  It’s always nice to see Michael Madsen playing someone other than a gangster who delivers sotto voce threats and Paige McGarvin and Julianna Destefano are likable in the lead roles.  This is a film to watch the next time you find yourself missing the ocean.

Let’s Talk About Monster Island (dir by Mark Atkins)


Oh hell yeah, the Asylum strikes again!  And this time, it’s all about Kaiju, helicopters, and Eric Roberts!

Listen, folks, if you don’t get automatically excited when you see the words “Kaiju,” “helicopters,” and “Eric Roberts” all in the same sentence, I don’t know what to tell.  Obviously, you’re not the audience that this film was made for.  This is a film for people who enjoy monster mayhem, things exploding, and helicopters.  Seriously, it’s not an Asylum film without a helicopter.

Admittedly, Eric Roberts’s role is actually pretty small.  He plays Admiral Butler and he’s got an entire fleet of warships at his disposal.  You’d think that would be just what you would want when dealing with a bunch of recently awakened ancient monsters but it turns out that  the Admiral is pretty stubborn.  He’s better at shouting into telephones than understanding the logic behind Kaiju.  And if you’re saying to yourself, “Would we really want Eric Roberts to be in charge of the U.S. Navy?,” you are again missing the point.  Asylum films, like this one, create their own parallel universe.  It’s a universe where monsters live, sea creatures can take down helicopters, and, of course, Eric Roberts is going to be in charge of a battleship.

The main character is Billy Ford (Adrian Bouchet, giving a cheerfully flamboyant performance), a billionaire who operates out of a beach house and whose underwater sea mining operation may be responsible for awakening the fearsome Tengu.  (Tengu looks kind of like a giant starfish and has molten magma for blood.)  Billy has two people working in the basement of his beach house.  Cherise (Donna Cormack Thompson) has been working with him forever.  Riley (Chris Fisher, giving a nicely neurotic performance) is such a recent hire that Billy still calls him “James.”  When it becomes apparent that something has awakened at the bottom of the ocean, Billy, Cherise, and Riley head underwater to investigate.

Coming along with them is Sarah Murray (Natalie Robbie), who works for the government and who is an expert in geomythology.  Geomythology is the study of alleged references to actual geological events in mythology.  Geomythology is a real thing and, after having watched this movie, I kind of wish that I had at least minored in it.  At one point, Sarah has to go to her former Geomythology professor (Margot Wood) for advice on how to stop Tengu from destroying the world and it turns out the professor lives in this huge cabin.  There’s money to made in keeping track of the world’s Kaiju.

Anyway, needless to say, once Tengu is awakened, it’s pretty much determined to end the world.  This movie, as you can probably guess from the title, pays homage to the Japanese monster movies of old.  When flying, fire-breathing monsters start hatching from eggs and attacking the world, their battle shrieks will be familiar to anyone who has ever seen a movie featuring Godzilla, Mothra, or Rodan.  When the film reaches the point of two giant monsters fighting each other while a bunch of human beings watch on, it’s impossible not to be reminded of Godzilla fighting King Kong.  It’s all in good fun, a monster movie made by people who loves monster movies for people who love monster movies.

Monster Island is a film to watch and to enjoy for the mayhem and the destruction.  Watch it to enjoy Eric Roberts bragging about the Navy’s new “sonar weapon.”  Watch it for the scene where one person makes the mistake of taunting one of the monsters.  (Piece of advice: Don’t ever yell “Come on!” at a create that can breathe fire.)  Watch it for giant starfish rising out of the ocean and the crashing helicopters.  Get a group of your friends together and enjoy the movie because the Asylum is back and so are the monsters and the helicopters!

Monster Island aired on the SyFy Network last night and it’ll probably air again.  Keep an eye out!