Terri Hawkes | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, the second-to-last episode of T and T is all about the Czar of Canadian Surf Guitar!

Episode 3.20 “Wild Willie and the Waves”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on May 19th, 1990)

A fat bald man named Willie (Gordon Masten) walks into Decker’s gym and tells Turner that he needs helps getting into shape. Turner looks at Willie and says, “That’s a lot to take off, brother.” Willie explains that he’s planning on making a comeback. “A come back from what?” Turner growls. Willy reveals that he’s actually Wild Willy, the Czar of Canadian surf guitar!

T.S. Turner has never heard of Wild Willy but Decker is a huge fan. He’s even written a song called Surf Cincinnati, in tribute to his hero. However, Decker points out that Wild Willy died years ago in a plane crash in Brazil. Willy says that his manager convinced him to fake his own death as a way to push up record sales. Willy says that he’s spent the past two years lost in the Brazilian jungle. (So how did he get so fat?) Decker believes him but Turner is skeptical.

But, after Wild Willy tries to break into his old house to see his wife Francine (Terri Hawkes) and confront his manager, Big Steve (Nigel Bennett), Turner starts to change his mind. Big Steve claims that this Wild Willy is an imposter but, after Willy is nearly killed by a miswired electric guitar, Turner does some digging and discovers that Big Steve is about to sign a record deal to release all of Wild Willy’s previously unreleased material. “Willy is worth more dead than alive!” Terri exclaims.

Fear not. It all works out. Big Steve is defeated by Turner, Willy, and the power of rock and roll. Wild Willy doesn’t lose any weight but he still makes a comeback. He also steals Decker’s song and turns it into a hit. Decker is heart-broken but Terri says, “That’s rock and roll!” Hey, Terri — you’re a lawyer. Maybe you could help Decker file a lawsuit as opposed to just making fun of the poor guy? I mean, it seems like a good idea to me but what do I know?

This episode felt very familiar. People were always wandering into Decker’s Gym and claiming to be someone famous. The main problem with this particular episode is that Wild Willy was such an annoying and over-the-top character that it was hard to really care about whether or not he made his comeback or not. Add to that, why is Decker writing songs about Cincinnati when it’s totally obvious that T and T takes place in Canada?

Next week …. it’s the final episode of T and T! How will the saga end?

The 1986 film Killer Party is one of those late 80s slasher films that somehow has developed a cult following. Up until recently, there was a fairly active fansite devoted to the history of Killer Party and Killer Party still regularly shows up on TCM Underground.

So, apparently, Killer Party has fans.

I’m just not sure why.

Some of it, I suppose, could have to do with the first ten minutes of the film, which are genuinely clever. It starts out with a young woman being menaced at a drive-in theater and, just when you’ve gotten invested in her story and have started to wonder whether or not she’ll survive the entire movie, it is suddenly revealed that we’ve actually been watching a movie-within-a-movie. And that movie-within-a-movie then turns out to be part of an incredibly silly music video, featuring a band that is so 80s that you find yourself expecting them to stop performing so they can do a line of coke and play the stock market. At one point, the band even performs while standing on the drive-in’s concession stand.

It’s all marvelously silly and kind of clever. The problem is that the rest of the film never lives up to those ten minutes. In fact, you spend the rest of the movie wishing you were still watching that movie about the girl trapped at the drive-in.

I also suppose that some of the film’s cult reputation has to do with the fact that Paul Bartel has a small supporting role. Bartel plays the same basic role that he played in almost every horror film in which he appeared. He’s a pompous professor who says a few dismissive lines and is then promptly killed off. Maybe it’s the Bartel factor that has led to this film developing a cult following.

Who knows?

Killer Party is essentially four movies in one. The first movie is that part that I’ve already talked about. The opening is clever but it only lasts for ten minutes.

After the opening, the film turns into a rather standard college comedy. Three girls want to join the wildest sorority on campus but it won’t be easy! Everyone on this campus is obsessed with playing pranks. And by pranks, I mean stuff like locking a bunch of people outside while they’re naked in a hot tub and then dumping a bunch of bees on them. Of course, that prank gets filmed and the footage is later shown at a meeting of stuffy old people. That’ll teach those uptight members of the World War II generation! You may have made the world safe for democracy but that was like a really, really long time ago! So there! It’s time for a new generation, one that will make the world safe for pranks!

During this part of the film, there are only a few hints that we’re watching a horror movie. For instance, the sorority wants to have a party in an abandoned frat house. Their housemother goes by the frat house and kneels in front of a grave. She speaks to someone named Alan and tells him that it’s time to move on. Then she promptly gets killed and no one ever seems to notice.

The comedy part of the movie segues into a remarkably bloodless slasher movie. The cast assembles at the forbidden house. They have a party. Someone in a diving mask shows up and kills off the majority of the cast in 20 minutes. Almost everyone dies off-screen so there’s really not even any suspense as far as that goes.

Then, during the last few minutes of the film, the slasher film suddenly turns into a demonic possession film and that seems like that should be brilliant turn of events but it just doesn’t work in Killer Party. Usually, I love movies that are kind of messy but Killer Party is a rather bland and listless affair. If you’re going to combine a campus comedy with a slasher film and a demonic possession film, you owe it to your audience to really go totally over the top and embrace the ludicrousness of it all. Instead, Killer Party rolls out at a languid and rather dull pace.

I would not accept an invitation to Killer Party.