Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 2.13 “Lisa’s Ex”

Posted on May 22, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

I was a lot happier before I remembered this show existed.

Episode 2.13 “Lisa’s Ex”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on January 29th, 2000)

No, not my ex! This episode is about Lisa, the fictional character’s, ex….

You know, it’s really frustrating that this show’s most annoying character happens to have the same name as me. I want to complain about her but, at the same time, I feel an instant bond to anyone named Lisa, including fictional characters on terrible sitcoms.

That said, Lisa — the show’s Lisa — really is the worst. In this episode, her ex-boyfriend, a basketball played named Troy Douglas — just happens to stop by the restaurant and see her. Troy, we’re told, is an amazing NBA player, despite the fact that he appears to be about 5’8 and not particularly athletic. Then again, the show also told us that Scott could be an Olympic-class swimmer despite having never trained and that Jason could get a record deal despite having no talent so I guess it all makes sense.

Anyway, Lisa hangs out with Troy and ends up kissing him on the beach. Scott breaks up with her when he finds out and then acts all mopey about it. “She could have been the one!” Scott says while the audience goes, “Awwww!” Seriously, Lisa — the show’s Lisa — could have been the one? This would be the same character who talks down to everyone, complains nonstop, and who has only been dating Scott for like a week. She’s the one?

Fortunately (?), Lisa tells Troy to get lost. Troy seems like a perfectly nice guy but we’re only supposed to care about Scott’s heartbreak. Lisa apologizes to Scott. Scott kisses Lisa. “Whoooo!” says the audience.

Every episode of every Peter Engel-produced sitcom had an episode like this. I have to admit that none of those other episodes annoyed quite as much as this episode of Malibu CA did. I think it’s because 1) Lisa is a terrible character, 2) Marquita Terry gives a terrible performance in the role, 3) there’s zero chemistry between Marquita Terry and Trevor Merszei (who played Scott), and 4) even Scott deserves better than the treatment he got during this episode. Lisa apologized for kissing Troy and that’s fine but she didn’t really say anything that would suggests that she’s not going to dump Scott every time one of her ex-boyfriends shows up. This relationship is doomed.

Speaking of doomed, Peter, Jason, Murray, Traycee, and Alex all went camping. After hearing that a killer had escaped from a nearby mental asylum, they freaked out when a stranger approached their camp sight. First, they tied the guy in a net. Then Peter hit him on the head with a frying pan …. oh wait, he’s not the killer! He’s just some innocent guy who was trying to be helpful.

“Please don’t sue,” Peter says.

Peter, I hope he sues your ass for everything you’ve got.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 2.12 “Jason’s Deal”

Posted on May 15, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Jason humiliates himself again.

Episode 2.12 “Jason’s Deal”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on January 22nd, 1990)

I guess Jason’s supposed to be a rock star now. His CD has been released and he’s given a $20,000 advance by a guy (Christian Zimmerman) from the record company. He proceeds to rent out an apartment of his own and spends a ton of money decorating it. Will success spoil Jason Collins!?

Actually, failure spoils Jason Collins. His CD only sells 70 copies and he’s dropped by the label. He has to move back home. Scott, Murray, and Alex are all angry because of the way he treated them when he thought he was a star. He even lied so that he throw an industry party rather than hang out with his brother and their dorky friends. Of course, the party was attended by Jason’s record company boss so maybe some understanding is in order here. Scott, Murray, and Alex forgive him but only after reading, in the paper, that Jason has been dropped by the record company. Would an obscure, generic singer getting dropped by a record company really be front page news?

(Speaking of which, maybe Jason’s CD would have sold if he and the record company had actually done something to …. oh, I don’t know, PROMOTE IT!? Jason doesn’t go on the radio. He doesn’t go on tour. He doesn’t go on TRL. Seriously, Jason, what did you think was going to happen?)

Meanwhile, Lisa (the character, not me) acts like a total bitch because her friends is dating Traycee. Believe me, I don’t like tossing that word around (especially as an insult) but there’s really no other way to describe Lisa’s behavior. Lisa’s friend, Curtis (James Castle Stevens), really likes Traycee and Lisa’s reaction is to act like a stuck-up snob. Curtis is an environmentalist and Traycee is keeping him from saving the rain forest! Or maybe Curtis is just realizing that there’s nothing one person can do to save the rain forest and, since he’s kind of a wimpy nerdy guy, he should enjoy life while he’s still young. Either way, it’s really none of Lisa’s business.

Oh, this storyline annoyed me! It’s a little bit difficult to fairly judge anyone’s performance on Malibu CA. That said, Brandon Brooks, Priscilla Inga Taylor, and Edward Blatchford all manage to give decent performance despite the bad dialogue and dumb plotting. Trevor Merszei (who played Scott) is giving a considerably better performance during the second season than he did during the first. Meanwhile, Marquita Terry (who plays Lisa) is consistently terrible in a way that’s noticeable even by the standards of a Peter Engel-produced sitcom.

Eventually, Tracyee encourages her friend to go to the rain forest and Jason moves back home. So, Jason will not be a rock star and Scott will not be going to the Olympics. Instead, they’re destined to forever be busboys in their father’s restaurant. It couldn’t happen to a group of more deserving people.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 2.11 “The Best Man”

Posted on May 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Where was I when the new Pope was revealed? I was watching this stupid show.

Episode 2.11 “The Best Man”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on January 15th, 2000)

Finally, after weeks of posting apologetic notes and an imdb summaries, I have reached a second season episode of Malibu, CA that has actually been uploaded to YouTube. In fact, it appears that most of the rest of season 2 has been uploaded so I’ll be able to do real reviews now as opposed to just snarky speculation.

Normally, I’d celebrate but this is Malibu, CA. It is, by far, the worst show that I’ve reviewed here at the Shattered Lens. This week’s episode was especially stupid and the only thing that’s keeping me from really getting mad about having wasted 30 minutes of my life on it is the fact that we have a new Pope and he’s American!

The plot of this week’s episode is dumber than dumb. Murray’s best friend is marrying Lisa’s friend. How Lisa (the character, not me!) has any friends, I’m not really sure. She just moved to California at the start of the season, she acts like a condescending bitch to just about everyone she meets, and she’s continually talking about how better she is then everyone. Regardless, Scott has a crush on her …. then again, Scott also treats everyone he knows like crap so maybe that explains it. Anyway, Murray is the best man and Lisa is the maid of honor and Traycee says that means they’re destined to fall in love. Murray decides that Lisa is his girlfriend and, for some reason, neither Scott nor Lisa can find the courage to tell Murray the truth.

Meanwhile, Jason, his father, and new lifeguard Alex (Suzanne Davis) go into the piemaking business together. They’re using Alex’s grandmother’s recipe and everyone loves the pie! It’s so popular that they even set up a conveyer belt in the kitchen to make boxing the pies up go quicker. But then Jason gets distracted, the conveyer starts moving too quickly, and — hey, there’s pie everywhere!

(Hmmm…. this seems familiar….)

Uh-oh! There’s a lawyer in the restaurant and he’s threatening to sue. It turns out that Alex’s grandmother got her recipe from the pies that were being made by a professional bakery. And now, Jason and his Dad are getting sued, unless they stop making and selling the pies….

Wait a minute! SCREECH’S SPAGHETTI SAUCE! This whole thing is just a remake of an episode of Saved By The Bell! They didn’t even bother to come up with new ending!

Seriously, screw these lazy writers! I don’t ask for much, especially when the show is produced by Peter Engel. I’m certainly not expecting or demanding a hard-hitting drama or a ground-breaking comedy. But come on — DON’T JUST PLAGAIRZINE YOURSELF, YOU MORONS! MAKE SOME SORT OF FREAKING EFFORT!

Ugh, this show!

I didn’t care much for this episode.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 2.10 “The Comeback”

Posted on May 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Will Scott make it to the Olympics? Let’s try to find out.

Episode 2.10 “The Comeback”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on December 11th, 1999)

Here’s what the imdb has to say about this episode:

Scott is excited about working with a new therapist, Ted from California University, and he believes against all odds that he will be in shape for the Olympic swim team trials. Trying to rush along his rehabilitation, he persuades Ted to let him get back in the water. Scott says he feels great and his comeback is progressing very rapidly, but he’s been taking medication to ease the pain his shoulder is causing him.

Yikes! It sounds like Scott is hooked on drugs and, since this is a Peter Engel-produced sitcom, I think it’s safe to assume that Scott is not going to qualify for the Olympics. Using drugs on any Peter Engel sitcom means that you surrender whatever you current dream may be. We all remember what happened to Tiffani on California Dreams and Jessie on Saved By The Bell.

Oh well. The idea of Scott just suddenly turning out to be a good enough swimmer to qualify for the Olympics never made much sense to begin with. People spend their entire lives training for the Olympics. Scott didn’t even know he was a fast swimmer until the second or third episode of this season. Indeed, he should probably sue whoever gave him the false hope of thinking he could qualify in the first place.

This is yet another episode that has not been uploaded to YouTube so I can’t really do a proper review. However, next week’s episode has been uploaded so, next Thursday, I will once again be watching Malibu, CA. Yay, I guess.

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.9″Starstruck”

Posted on April 24, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Yes, it’s that time once again. Sorry, everyone.

Episode 2.9 “Starstruck”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on December 4th, 1999)

Here’s what the imdb says about this week’s episode:

Jason has been having a great time with Alex and he admits to Murray that he’d like to date her. However, his film star friend Josh Denmark tells him that he too would like to date Alex. The two have competed for the same girls in the past and both agree not to date Alex. Murray, though, encourages Jason to ask Alex out, and he takes his advice. But it seems that Josh has already asked Alex out and she accepted.

Now, as you probably guessed, this is yet another season 2 episode that was not uploaded to YouTube. If I had known so much of season 2 was not available, I never would have started reviewing this stupid show to begin with and I’d be a lot happier right now. That said, in another few weeks, we will reach some episodes that actually have been uploaded. This post is a placeholder, in case I ever do find this episode. Plus, for whoever may be interested, you now know that Josh Denmark is a semi-regular character and so is Alex, the lifeguard who replaced Stads. I guess Jason is over Stads now. As for Scott, I guess he’s still training for the Olympics. *snicker* God, what a stupid show.

According to the imdb, this was the final episode to feature the character of “film star” Josh Denmark so I’m going to guess he turned out to be a jerk and left to film another movie. (That’s what usually happened whenever this plot played out on a Peter Engel-produced sitcom. Remember Johnny Dakota from Saved By The Bell?) The fact that this episode is called “Starstruck” leads me to suspect that Alex learned that there’s more to life than fame.

(It’s almost as if I don’t actually have to actually watch this show to know what happened.)

Anyway, hopefully I’ll get to do an actual review in the future.

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.8 “Guess Who’s Coming To Malibu”

Posted on April 10, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Reviewing Malibu CA feels a bit pointless now that I’ve discovered that half of the season two episodes weren’t ever uploaded to YouTube but I made a commitment and my own OCD tendencies are holding me to it. Let’s try to take a look at the latest episode.

Episode 2.8 “Guess Who’s Coming To Malibu”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on November 27th, 1999)

Here’s what the imdb has to tell us about this episode:

Peter is thrilled to be named businessman of the year by the Malibu Business Association. Murray is excited that his favorite actor Josh Denmark is in Malibu shooting a film. Jason recalls that he knew Josh a few years back in music camp. Together they sneak onto the set to see Josh and disrupt the shoot. Josh remembers Jason, the two reminisce and plan to meet again. Later Josh comes by the Lighthouse with female fans following him. Jason offers to let Josh stay at the Collins house to escape the crush of fans. Jason asks his dad after the fact if Josh can stay and Peter says no way, it will be too disruptive with his awards banquet coming up and Scott’s Olympic training. Josh’s flattery helps Peter soften his position a little.

Wow, Jason just knows everyone! Didn’t they already do an episode during the first season about a movie star who needed a place to hide so she ended up staying at the Collins house? We’re only two seasons in and the show is already repeating itself. It’s also interesting to note that Scott’s Olympic training is still going on. When last we checked, he had only recently started swimming again. And yet, he’s already a potential Olympian. I learned how to play golf two years ago. Maybe I should try out for the Olympic team.

This is another second season episode that has not been uploaded to YouTube. I know, it breaks my heart, too. Consider this to be a placeholder. If the episode ever does show up on YouTube, I will review it here.