At Close Range (1986, directed by James Foley)

Posted on March 31, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Brad Whitewood, Sr. (Christopher Walken) is known as Big Brad, a rural crime lord who rules the backwoods of Pennsylvania. When his son, Little Brad (Sean Penn, trying too hard to be James Dean), comes to live with him, Big Brad goes out of his way to try to bring the teenager into his criminal lifestyle. At first, Little Brad loves being a part of the family business but witnessing a murder and falling in love with Terry (Mary Stuart Masterson) caused Little Brad to start to move away from his father. With the FBI closing in on the Whitewood family, Brad Sr. starts to eliminate everyone who he considers to be a threat, including the members of his own family.

Based on a true story, this neo-noir features a great cast, including Chris Penn, Millie Perkins, Kiefer Sutherland, Crispin Glover, David Strathairn, Tracey Walter, and Mary Stuart Masterson. Unfortunately, the movie itself moves at a plodding pace. There are some good and disturbing scenes, like the montage where Big Brad starts to eliminate the members of his gang. The film does a good job of showing how seductive Big Brad’s criminal lifestyle can be to a bunch of kids who have basically been written-off by society. But the story itself is so bleak that most people will end up tuning out long before Little Brad finally turns against his father.

Whatever other flaws it may have, At Close Range does feature one of Christopher Walken’s best performances. Walken is chillingly evil as Big Brad. He’s got enough charisma to be believable as someone who could bring a gang together but he’s also frightening as he starts killing anyone who he thinks might talk to the police or the FBI. Big Brad is a remorseless killer and Walken plays him as being a classic sociopath, someone who cannot understand why the members of his gang and family would get upset when he starts killing some of them. To Big Brad, that just goes with the territory. It’s a part of doing business. With his distinct way of speaking and his trademark tics, Walken is someone who has inspired many impersonators and it can be easy to forget that he’s also a damn good actor. Films like At Close Range remind us of just how talented Walken actually is.

Do Not Disturb (2010, directed by BC Furtney)

Posted on October 1, 2024 by Jedadiah Leland

A film that gives new meaning to the word pointless, Do Not Disturb is about a screenwriter (Stephen Geoffreys) living in a run-down motel. He hasn’t written anything in two years and is haunted by the murder of his girlfriend. When a crass producer comes by to demand that the writer get to work, the writer decides to kidnap the producer, bound him in a bathtub, and remove his body parts one-at-a-time. This gives him the inspiration to write again, which makes his agent (Tiffany Shepis) happy even if she is not always happy about the method he’s using to regain his creativity.

This talky movie is about living in a crapsack world. Everyone is greedy, unlikable, and depressed. Stephen Geoffreys and Tiffany Shepis both give good performances, showing they have more talent than their films usually allowed them to show. But the movie itself feels pointless, a slow-moving and meandering slog through a world that just isn’t that interesting.

Do Not Disturb (which was originally titled New Terminal Hotel) got some attention in 2010 as the last film that Corey Haim completed before his own death at the age of 38. Haim was dating Shepis at the time and was visiting her on set when he asked if there was any part that he could play in the movie. A role was invented on the spot and Haim plays a jaded rock star that the screenwriter meets at a bar. It’s an extended cameo and a pointless one at that, with Haim playing the role with an accent that I think was supposed to be Australian.

There is a twist at the end of the movie but it’s not worth the trouble that it takes to reach it. Some people may want to see this film just because of the cast. To many people, Stephen Geoffreys will always be Evil Ed and Corey Haim will always be Sam Emerson. Those people will have more fun rewatching Fright Night and The Lost Boys than sitting through this movie.

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: 976-Evil (dir by Robert Englund)

Posted on October 18, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Ewwwwww! The movie reeks of stale cigarettes and Axe body spray!

976-Evil tells the story of two teenagers named Spike (Patrick O’Bryan) and Hoax (Stephen Geoffreys). You know what? Whether your parents decide to name you Spike or to name your Hoax, your life is pretty much fucked up from the minute either name is entered on your birth certificate. Anyway, Spike and Hoax are cousins. Spike is the dangerous bad boy who rides a motorcycle and wears a leather jacket. Hoax is the really nerdy kid who worships Spike and who lives with his ultra-religious mother (Sandy Dennis). Hoax can’t wait until the day he and Spike ride across the country on their motorcycles. Spike is just busy trying to get laid and looking forward to heading out on his own.

Anyway, Hoax eventually gets tired of being picked on all the time so he decides to call the phone number mentioned in the film’s title. Hoax discovers that he has a direct line to Hell and the voice on the other end has some definite ideas for what Hoax could do to even the score. For instance, Hoax could cause spiders to attack a Spike’s girlfriend. And, after that, Hoax could transform into a monster and attack the local bullies at their poker game.

“That’s a dead man’s hand!” Hoax announces, while literally holding up a dead man’s hand.

(That’s right! Turning evil means becoming a master of puns!)

Uh-oh! It looks like Hoax has been possessed by evil! Even worse, the phone bill is HUGE! Those calls to the Devil aren’t cheap, you know! Can Spike defeat his cousin or will evil rule the day?

Now, I will say this for 976-Evil: as annoying as Stephen Geoffreys is when he’s playing nerdy Hoax, he actually is a bit frightening as evil Hoax. For that matter, Patrick O’Bryan is probably does about as good a job as you can do while playing a character named Spike.

But otherwise, 976-Evil is nearly unwatchable. I mean that literally. The entire film appears to be covered by a layer of grime. Between the unappealing visuals, the poor dialogue, and the lack of appealing characters, there’s really not much in 976-Evil to hold our attention. It might help if we felt bad for Hoax but, even before he calls the phone number, he’s such a weirdo perv that you just kind of want him to go away. Hoax is basically the type of loser who thinks that an Axe body spray commercial is a documentary. You can imagine him desperately spraying himself before he goes to school every day and announcing, “I smell like Axe! I’m losing my virginity next period! And then me and Spike are going to ride our motor scooters to Toronto!”

Released in 1989, 976-Evil was also the directorial debut of Robert Englund. I kinda hate to be so negative about the film because Robert Englund is such a good actor and he always comes across as being such a nice guy. If you haven’t already, be sure to get a copy of Englund’s autobiography, Hollywood Monster. Englund tells a lot of good stories and is admirably positive about being a horror icon. But, though Robert Englund’s a great guy, 976-Evil just doesn’t work.