So Here’s What Happened | Through the Shattered Lens

This previous week …. bleh. Let’s just take a look at what I watched.

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

Eh. I’m pretty lukewarm on the new bachelor. He seems like a nice guy but he’s kind of boring.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I reviewed Baywatch Nights here!

Check it Out (Tubi)

I’m running behind but I’ll have a review of this week’s episode up sometime on Sunday.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I reviewed CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I reviewed Degrassi here!

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I reviewed Fantasy Island here!

Football (Sunday)

Did I watched two football games on Sunday? According to my notes, Jeff and I watched two playoff games but I’ll be darned if I can tell you a dang thing about either one of them.

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I’m running behind but I’ll have a review of this week’s episode up sometime on Sunday.

Happy Hour (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this old 90s game show on Saturday morning. Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa asked bizarre questions to celebrities. Dweezil was cool but Ahmet was like the hyperactive cousin that no one wants to deal with at the family reunion. Amongst the celebrities were Chuck Woolery, Alexandra Paul, Patton Oswalt, and that “Let’s Get Ready To Rumble” ring announcer dude.

Highway to Heaven (Freevee)

I wrote about this week’s episode here!

Judge Dad (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Judge Dad dealt with a woman who claimed her Canadian husband only married her for a visa. Judge Dad interrupted the show so he could do a commercial for some sort of special food delivery system. I followed this episode with an episode in which Judge Dad admonished a man for slashing his ex’s tires. Both episodes featured the same disclosure. Judge Dad is not a lawyer and the cases are fiction.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

I got caught up with the first three episodes of the new season this week. I am really impressed by Reid Scott, who is this season’s newest cast member. He and Mehcad Brooks are working well together and Brooks, for his part, is no longer quite as stiff as he was the previous season. Sam Waterston, bless him, is obviously not in the best of health and I really hope he retires after this season and enjoys life. So far, Nolan Price appears to have mellowed out, especially when compared to previous two seasons. But what has happened to Maroun? She was finally showing some sparks of having a personality at the end of the previous season but now, she’s back to being a humorless scold who wears too much lipstick.

The first three episodes of the new season were all fairly good. I cringe whenever the blue collar cops on Law & Order start talking like MSNC pundits (and I still laugh whenever I remember last season’s “Did you all see Morning Joe?”). Law & Order will probably never be the beacon of quality that it once was but this season is off to a good start.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I reviewed the third season finale here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I reviewed Miami Vice here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

Sally talked to women who felt their marriage were in trouble. All of the husband were total deadbeats. One guy came out on stage wearing his uniform from McDonald’s. I’m sure the bosses were really happy about that.

So Here’s What Happened (YouTube)

I wrote about this obscure pilot here!

Square Pegs (YouTube)

This was a sitcom from the early 80s, about two girls trying to be popular in high school. I watched the pilot on Friday night and I smiled a few times. Trying to fit in is a timeless subject. One of the girls was played by Sarah Jessica Parker, who I love because, like me, she’s a part of the Big Nose Crew. BNC FOREVER!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about it here!

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing So Here’s What Happened, which aired on CBS in 2006. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

The first and only episode of this show has one message for all the mooks out there. And that message is …. NEW YORK, BABY!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Michael Lembeck, aired on May 1st, 2006)

What to say about Vince Brophy (Bobby Cannavale)? Hey, he’s a New Yorker, you know what I mean? Hey, he starts every sentence by saying, “Hey,” y’know? He knows the name of every single athlete who ever played for a New York sports team, y’know? He meets a woman named Rochelle Jeter (Rashida Jones) and immediately asks her if she’s related to Derek Jeter, you know what I’m saying? She says, “Yeah,” and she’s being sarcastic but Vince thinks that she’s being serious because who in their right mind would come into the old neighborhood and make a sarcastic joke, y’know?

Vince is such a New Yorker that he narrates the entire episode while sitting in his favorite barber chair. His barber (Hector Elizondo) hangs on his every word, which is good since he presumably can’t see the flashbacks that the audience is forced to sit through. Vince works at his family’s car lot and he wears solid suits and pinky rings and the pilot finds several excuses for him to say the word “Escalade.” He’s not smart but he’s a stand-up guy, that Vince. His co-worker asks him to be the godfather to his newborn and Vince agrees but then he nearly drowns the kid at the christening because he gets distracted when someone tells him that Derek Jeter don’t have no sister named Rochelle. What a New Yorker!, y’know what I’m saying?

There’s a lot of talented people in this show. Rashida Jones was months away from appearing on The Office. Hector Elizondo is a comedy veteran. Steve Park, a favorite of the Coen Brothers, appeared as Vince’s boss. Mercedes Ruehl plays Vince’s mother. And then you’ve got Bobby Cannavale in the lead role. Cannavale is one of my favorite actors, a guy who is as good at playing sensitive as he is at playing tough. Cannavale can play drama and he can play comedy and he’s easy on the eyes. Unfortunately, all of these talented people were let down by a script that was written by none other than Paul Reiser.

The main problem with the show is that none of the characters have much of a personality beyond being from New York. Obviously, New Yorkers are a unique group of people but every New Yorker I’ve met has also had their own individual personality to go along with their identity of being a citizen of America’s largest city. The characters in this episode, on the other hand, have no identity beyond being a New Yorker in the most cliched ways possible. Even worse, none of the jokes are particularly funny. Vince crosses the line from being amiably dumb to being a buffoon far too quickly.

Perhaps not surprisingly, this was the only episode of this show. The pilot did not lead to a series. Fortunately, everyone involved went on to better things, y’know?