It’s Been One Week Since #SyFyDaysaster

Posted on July 6, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today is the one-week anniversary of a historic social media event: the #SyFyDaysaster.

For the past year, I’ve been a proud member of a group of film lovers known as the Snarkalecs. Every Saturday, we would meet up via twitter and we would watch whatever film happened to be playing on the SyFy network. Every week, we would look forward to the chance to live tweet films with titles like Jersey Shore Shark Attack, Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo, Two-Headed Shark Attack, and Piranaconda. Often times, we would be joined by actors like Gerald Webb and directors like Griff Furst. One of my best memories remains the time that Greg Grunberg replied to one of my tweets while we were watching End of the World.

Incidentally, every time that the Snarkalecs would start to live tweet a movie on Saturday, that movie would soon start trending. As a result, other twitter users would have an incentive to change the station over to SyFy and see what everyone was talking about. By showing original movies on Saturday night, SyFy kept the Snarkalecs entertained and we, as a result, then helped SyFy get better ratings.

What could be more American than that?

However, a few months ago, the SyFy network announced that they would no longer be showing original movies on Saturday night. Instead, the movies moved to Thursday and Saturday night became about showcasing a rather forgettable show called Sinbad.

Unfortunately, Thursday is not a convenient night for many of the Snarkalecs. Some Snarkalecs have to be at work on Friday morning. Other Snarkalecs have family obligations during the week. As for me, Thursday doesn’t work because that’s when CBS airs the weekly eviction episode of Big Brother.

As a result, the Snarkalecs have found other things and other networks to watch on Saturday night and Sinbad hasn’t trended once.

Two Thursdays ago, the snarkalecs decided to make a point. As a group, we DVRed the SyFy original film, Independence Daysaster, off of the SyFy network. We then watched and live tweeted the film on Saturday night.

Within fifteen minutes, just as a result of a handful of Snarkalecs live tweeting the film, #SyfyDaysaster was the number one trending topic in the world. And it stayed at number one for the next two hours. And when the tweets started to show up from people wanting to know just why exactly #SyFyDaysaster was trending, we let them know that it was trending because it was a film that the SyFy Network could have been showing instead of broadcasting the latest episode of Sinbad.

As a result of our act of social media protest, for two hours, #SyFyDaysaster was an even more popular subject than Amanda Bynes calling Drake ugly.

As for Sinbad, it trended not once.

The fact of the matter is that people don’t love the SyFy Network because of shows like Sinbad. Instead, we love the SyFy network because SyFy gives us a chance to watch movies like Super Shark and Tasmanian Devils. By showing those movies, the SyFy network has given me a chance to meet and get to know people who I may not have ever met otherwise. SyFy Saturday movie nights introduced me to the snarkalecs and, for that, I will always be thankful.

Let me put it like this — if you tell me you watch Sinbad, I’ll smile politely. Ff you tell me that you love Jersey Shore Shark Attack, I’ll be your friend forever and I’ll probably end up making out with you depending on how much I’ve had to drink beforehand.

In short, I’m proud of us! I only hope that the SyFy network noticed and that they’ll reconsider their decision to make Saturday night all about Sinbad.

As for Independence Daysaster, it was actually something of a lesser SyFy film. A bunch of aliens invade Earth on the 4th of July. The President (played by Tom Everett Scott) teams up with a bunch of hackers to defeat them. It was all pretty predictable and, under any other circumstances, rather forgettable. Still, I will never forget the #SyFyDaysaster and I look forward to engaging in future acts of civil disobedience until, hopefully, the movies return to where they belong, back on Saturday night.

Here’s just a few of the tweets from #SyFyDaysaster:

Ok #SnarkAlecs 1 hr 45 minutes until #syfydaysaster let’s tweet the heck out of it, trend it and end up in twitter jail! — @Holidill

It’s just another day in Canada. — @LisaMarieBowman

Canada should annex us. #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

Oh damn, does that mean Biden’s President now? #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

I find it amusing that the alien invasion happens in a place called Mooseridge. #Syfydaysaster — @Karmic9

is it true most #SyFy movies are watched 3 day later with at least 10 #SyFyDaysaster tweets?” — @KellyThul

So #SyFyDaysaster is tending a movie #Snarkalecs are watching on dvr , but Sinbad isn’t #SyFy are you paying attention — @ScottMcDonald3

“Nick’s hurt pretty bad. Can we just leave him here and pretend we didn’t find him?” #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

“You can’t fight here! This is the War Room!” — @LisaMarieBowman

I thought they were led by a Mimeminister RT @LisaMarieBowman Were we really hoping to get any help from President of France? #SyFyDaysaster” — @KellyThul

#WhoTheHellIsSinbad? #SyFyDaysaster — @HelenMcGe

He’s the President of Sexyville — @LisaMarieBowman

Redheads have no use for Presidents. #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

Red barns: replacing gas stations as new source of magic wifi #syfydaysaster — @DawnSnarks

Sound effects courtesy of airzooka #syfydaysaster” — @murderalotta

Gingers do to have souls! Haven’t you seen that YouTube video? #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

“What is that?” It’s the moon, you moron. #syfydaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

Is that Ben Gardner’s alien invasion stock footage? #syfydaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

The real fans of @SyfyMovies got #syfydaysaster trending 3 days after #indenpendencedaysaster — @TonySolo

She put on her big glasses b/c she knew she was going to have to do smart stuff. #syfydaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

Nick is like a cockroach wearing an American flag. — @LisaMarieBowman

Stop insulting cockroaches — @KellyThul

The VP is thinking, OH shit, my evil plan has been foiled. All because of those meddling kids! #syfydaysaster — @PirateMel

“@LisaMarieBowman: I have to admit that I have no idea what’s going on in #syfydaysaster.” You’re at least a step ahead of me.. — @DocZeke71

There has been a serious lack of trees and vines in #syfydaysaster. I’m not lichen it.” — @LisaMarieBowman

Hey @SyFy, even though I am tweeting your movie on the “wrong” night, I am open to you sending me that power source thing #SyFyDaysaster — @KellyThul

Been a long day, a lot of short tempers, we could all use a Snickers #syfydaysaster — @PinkyGuerro

My milkshake brings all the balls to the yard. #syfydaysaster — @GGFletcher

#syfydaysaster If she were a real scientist she would be in a halter top by now. — @MJCaan

You have to ask if the world is really worth saving. I’d like to at least meet the aliens before dismissing them. #SyFYDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

I’m comforted to know that 2 hackers from Mooseridge can fire a nuclear missile. #Syfydaysaster” — @Karmic9

Make love to the camera Mr. President! Seduce it! #syfydaysaster — @DawnSnarks

The President should resign & let the redheads run the country #SyFYDaysaster” — @LisaMarieBowman

I haven’t seen a ball take a licking like that since the Jodi Arias trial. #syfydaysaster — @MJCaan

The balls went from suck to blow! #syfydaysaster — @Crunch_Ops

Wow, the aliens are dropping faster than Paula Dean sponsors #SyFyDaysaster — @bgardnersboat

Congrats, #Snarkalecs! Y’all had a lot of balls tonight. Now I have to fly away. #SyFyDaysaster — @Killer_Skippy

Tonight, the #snarkalecs made this goatsucker proud! #SyFyDaysaster — @HappyChupacabra

Flame-haired one is all excited because she made something trend in some place called Dallas. Meh. #SyFyDaysaster — @Doc_Bowman

What Lisa and the Snarkalecs Watched Tonight #75: Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo (dir. by Terry Ingram)

Posted on March 23, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier tonight, the Snarkalecs and I watched the latest SyFy original film — Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo.

Why Were We Watching It?

It’s a little known fact but several of the Snarkalecs — including me — are either from or live in the great state of Texas. So, seriously — how could we not watch a SyFy film that takes place in San Antonio?

As well, Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo is just a brilliant title! Of course, with a great title comes great responsibility…

What Was It About?

It’s Cinco De Mayo in San Antonio and you know what the means! That’s right — thousands of chupacabras are coming across the border and killing all that they see. Can DEA agent Carlos (played by Erik Estrada) save both his children and the city of San Antonio? Carlos and a private army made up of bored DEA agents and gangbangers (who, we’re told, are “down for the hood”) end up locking themselves in the Alamo and making a last stand against the forces of goat sucking evil.

What Worked?

Like the best original SyFy films, Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo is the epitome of the type of film that’s fun to watch with a group of friends. The acting is over-the-top, the chupacabras are cute, and even the scenes were Estrada is obviously just sitting on a motorcycle in front of a green screen have an odd charm to them. The film had a definite telenovela feel to it and that’s always a good thing.

Even though the majority of the film was obviously shot somewhere other than San Antonio (I’m guessing Canada), I still enjoyed seeing stock footage of the Riverwalk.

(Seriously, I love the Riverwalk! While I’ve never lived in San Antonio, I’ve visited enough times that I have a lot of very good and very romantic memories of walking along the river.)

Finally, on a personal note, I have to say that the Snarkalecs were on fire tonight! Within fifteen minutes of the film starting, we had made it a trending topic on twitter. Some of the funniest tweets I have ever read were the result of us watching Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo.

What Did Not Work?

If any film called for Danny Trejo cameo, it was this one. Unfortunately, Trejo was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he’ll show up for the sequel…

It took about 90 minutes for Estrada and his private army to reach the Alamo and when they did, it turned out to be a totally fake Alamo. In all fairness, I can not imagine any circumstances that would have led to the Daughters of the Texas Republic agreeing to allow this film to be shot within the Alamo but, speaking as a Texan, I was disappointed at just how poorly this faux Alamo compared to the real thing.

(Also, unlike the rather flamboyant tour guide featured in this film, an actual Alamo tour guide would never wear a gigantic coonskin cap.)

On a related note, as much as I appreciated the fact that the film featured the Riverwalk, it was still hard not to feel that the filmmakers essentially shot about 5 minutes of footage in San Antonio before then going up to Canada to finish the rest of the film. As a result, the film featured a lot of people saying, “Remember the Alamo!” and random things in Spanish but ultimately, it did not feel like a Texas film at all.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Like the characters in this film, I’m down for my hood.

Lessons Learned

I need to revisit San Antonio sometime soon.

What Lisa And The Snarkalecs Watched Last Night #73: Flying Monkeys (dir by Robert Grasmere)

Posted on March 10, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, the Snarkalecs and I watched a SyFy original movie called Flying Monkeys.

Why Were We Watching It?

Because that’s what we do! Every Saturday night, the Snarkalecs get on twitter and watch a SyFy movie together. Add to that, the minute that we saw that the film was called Flying Monkeys, we knew we had to watch it and try to come up with as many bad monkey pun as possible.

What Was It About?

It all takes place in the little town of Gale, Kansas. (Named, I assume, after Dorothy Gale from The Wizard of Oz.) Joan (Maika Monroe) is upset because her dad is late to her high school graduation. So, Dad says sorry by buying her a pet monkey. He’s a cute little monkey and Joan names him Skippy.

What Joan and her Dad don’t realize is that Skippy is a demon monkey and, whenever the sun goes down, he sprouts wings, flies around the town, and kills people. Even worse, it turns out that every time somebody shoots Skippy, this causes Skippy to reproduce and multiply. Since everyone in the town of Gale shoots Skippy at least once or twice, there are soon hundreds of killer flying monkeys all over the place.

Luckily, two demon hunters from China manage to get to Kansas in record time but then … well, let’s just say that, as far as demon hunting is concerned, they were both definitely overrated.

What Worked?

As far as I’m concerned, almost the entire film worked. Seriously, how can you not enjoy something this ludicrous? The makers of Flying Monkeys knew exactly what they were doing and it looks like they had a good time doing it.

Plus, Skippy was so cute!

Seriously, how can you not love a film featuring a killer named Skippy?

What Did Not Work?

The film spent a lot of time building up these two demon hunters from China but, once they showed up, they both turned out to be pretty useless. I understand that was probably the point but still, it felt like the only reason they existed was to pad out the film’s running time.

“OH MY GOD! Just like me!” Moments

Towards the end of the film, Skippy attempts to attack Sonya (Electa Avellan, best known for being one of the Babysitter Twins in Grindhouse) in the shower and Sonya reacts by literally running all the way to the other side of town while clad only in a towel. At the time, we all pointed out how gratuitous this whole scene was.

After the movie ended, I took a nice, long, relaxing shower. It was only after I had stepped out of the shower and turned off the water that I realized 1) just how hard it was raining outside and 2) that I couldn’t remember if my car windows were open.

The idea of my car getting flooded so panicked me that, despite being clad in only a towel, I ran outside to make sure my windows were up. Long story short, my windows were closed, I got even more wet, and I learned that, sometimes, you just have to go outside wearing a towel.

Lessons Learned

Don’t mess with Skippy.

What Lisa Marie and the Snarkalecs Watched Last Night #71: End of the World (dir by Steven R. Monroe)

Posted on February 24, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, the Snarkalecs and I watched the SyFy original movie, End of the World. For the next two hours, we literally dominated twitter as we shared our mutual, nearly obsessive love for this film. Soon, #EndOfTheWorld was a trending topic and, I’m happy to say, that ended up freaking out a lot of paranoid people who weren’t watching SyFy.

All in all, it was a pretty good night.

Why Were We Watching It?

Because that’s what the Snarkalecs do. We watch movies on SyFy and we usually get all snarky about them. However, it was difficult to be snarky about End of the World because the people who made End of The World were obviously very snarky themselves.

What Was It About?

The world’s being bombarded by chunks of electromagnetic space debris. Or something like that. Really, the important thing to know is that the world’s about to end and it’s up to two video store clerks (played by two titans of nerdy adorability, Greg Grunberg and Neil Grayston) to save it. Their solution involves breaking a sci-fi writer named Doc Brown (Brad Dourif) out of a mental asylum and Greg Grunberg working on a nuclear missile with a power drill.

However, to be honest, the plot is just a distraction. The storyline is mostly used as an excuse to make clever references to nearly ever science fiction movie ever made. Some of the references are obvious and some of them are a bit more subtle but, ultimately, they are what this movie is truly about.

What Worked?

It all worked.

Seriously, End of the World is the best film that I’ve ever seen on SyFy. It was a film that was obviously made by genre fans for genre fans and, as a result, it felt like a belated Valentine’s Day present from the SyFy network to its viewers.

As I previously mentioned, the entire film is basically a collection of references and homages to other science fiction films. While this is a technique that I’ve found cloying when used by other films, End of the World struck exactly the right tone. The references were appreciative without over going overboard and, even more importantly, they were cleverly deployed throughout the film. They moved the film forward and seemed to grow organically out of the action onscreen. As a result, even with all the references, the film itself never felt heavy-handed.

Greg Grunberg is one of those great actors who can perfectly sell both comedy and drama. His talents were on perfect display last night. Perhaps the best Grunberg line of the night was, “It’s a monologue! MONO!”

Brad Dourif didn’t have a lot of screentime but seriously, he was just adorable.

Really, the whole film was just adorable.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked.

“Oh my God! Just Like me!” Moments

Much like the character of Selena (Caroline Cave), I think Greg Grunberg’s pretty awesome.

Lessons Learned

The geeks shall inherit the Earth (but only after the Redheads are finished with it).

What Lisa Marie and the Snarkalecs Watched Last Night #69: Heebie Jeebies (dir by Thomas L. Callaway)

Posted on February 10, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, the Snarkalecs and I watched the world premiere SyFy movie Heebie Jeebies! And wow — was it ever bad!

Seriously, how bad was Heebie Jeebies? It’s so bad that I couldn’t even find a trailer for it on YouTube. It’s as if the universe is trying to convince us that this film does not actually exist. However, we know what we saw last night.

(As proof, here’s a picture of Michael Badalucco, whose over-the-top performance as the gold-obsessed Billy Butler was one of the more commented upon aspects of the film.)

Why Were We Watching It?

That’s a question that many of us asked last night.

What Was It About?

Usually, low-budget monster movies on SyFy are a lot of fun but that’s because most low-budget monster movies on SyFy are made by the Asylum. Unfortunately, Heebie Jeebies was not an Asylum film.

Instead, it’s a film about this monster that comes out of a mine and wanders around attacking people and eating gold. You read that correctly. This monster kills people and then eats their gold. Will the town of Golderton survive?

What Worked?

Nothing.

What Did Not Work?

Everything.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I found myself relating to poor Veronica (Evie Thompson), the younger sister of a character that I named Deputy Dumbass (Robert Belushi). All Veronica wanted to do was go out and have sex with her boyfriend but instead, she had to spend her entire night listening to her brother talk about how it wasn’t safe to go out just because of a little old monster that happened to be killing people. Even worse, once she finally did what I would have done and sneaked out of the house, she and her boyfriend (who was kinda fugly, to be honest) ended up getting held hostage by two ex-convicts.

Lessons Learned

Only the Asylum should be allowed to make low-budget monster movies.

What Lisa and The Snarkalecs Watched Last Night #67: Abominable Snowman (dir by Marko Makilaasko)

Posted on January 27, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, the Snarkalecs and I watched the SyFy original film, Abominable Snowman.

Why Were We Watching It?

That’s a question that many of us wondered as we sat through this film. Let’s just say that Abominable Snowman was no Tasmanian Devils.

What Was It About

This one’s just dumb. Two guys vanish in the Alps and then, 20 year later, one of the guy’s son goes looking for them and then he disappears too. So, the guy’s sister recruits a bunch of friends and they go looking for him and eventually, they all end up running into two abominable snowmen. That’s good because, otherwise, the title would have just been stupid.

What Worked?

The abominable snowmen were kinda cute and I found it interesting to observe the way that they seemed to either shrink or grow depending on the narrative demands of the film.

As a result of the nonstop snark from the Snarkalecs, Abominable Snowman was soon a trending topic on twitter and this, of course, led to a lot of non-Snarkalecs popping up and demanding: “Will somebody please tell me why #AbominableSnowman is trending!?”

This led to me replying: “If you’re wondering why #AbominableSnowman is trending, you either don’t live in Seattle or you’re not watching CNN right now.“

Hopefully, that caused some confusion.

What Did Not Work?

The entire freakin’ film.

Allow me to repeat that: The entire freakin’ film did not work. Seriously. Not only did the film feature the most unlikable group of characters ever assembled for a SyFy film (even more unlikable than the semester-at-sea students from 2-Headed Shark Attack) but it then proceeded to kill them off in the blandest ways possible. There was not a single scene or death in Abominable Snowman that would have gotten more than a 1.5 on the Ohno Scale.

For the record, Abominable Snowman was not produced by the Asylum. If it has been, it probably would have been a lot more fun.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

There was really only one character in the film that I related to. That would be the local bartender who shows a lot of cleavage and has to deal with a drunk helicopter pilot constantly trying to look down her shirt. That’s as close as this film got to providing me with an “Oh my god! Just like me!” moment.

Lessons Learned

I refused to learn anything from Abominable Snowman.

What Lisa and the Snarkalecs Watched Last Night #66: Tasmanian Devils (dir by Zach Lipovsky)

Posted on January 20, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Minor Spoilers)

Last night, the Snarkalecs and I watched the SyFy original movie Tasmanian Devils. Who are the Snarkalecs? You can find out here.

Why Was I Watching It?

Seriously, yesterday was a weird, weird day. I don’t even know where to begin. In between the pervy guys who have been working on the roof of the house across the alley, and the woman in Georgia who keeps accusing me of having an affair with her husband (another long story that you can read all about here), I was seriously ready to just change my name to Diabla, stop washing my hair, stop wearing makeup, and just move to Vermont.

But, through it all, I took the strength for the knowledge that, at 8:00, there would be an original movie on SyFy and that I would be watching it with my friends, the Snarkalecs…

What’s It About?

I’ll tell you what it’s not about. It’s not about the spinning cartoon character who was always falling off cliffs and having safes dropped on his head. No, these Tasmanian devils are vicious killers but, at the same time, they’re also kinda cute and adorable in a chupacabra kind of way.

Anyway, Apolo Ohno and a bunch of his friends go to Tasmania. Apolo jumps off of a cliff, has some trouble with his parachute, and ends up plunging into a hidden cave and getting impaled on the world’s biggest stalagmite. Apolo hangs around for a bit, squirming like a bug and groaning despite the fact that he’s got a gigantic hole in chest. Seriously, Apolo must be invincible. Alas, his blood gets the attention of the Tasmanian devils and, in perhaps the defining scene of 2013, Apolo Ohno is literally ripped into little pieces on-screen.

There is a little bit more that happens in the film. Apolo’s friends end up running into a park ranger played by Danica McKellar and they soon all find themselves being stalked through the wilderness by the Tasmanian devils. However, for me, the film was pretty much about Apolo Ohno getting literally ripped into little pieces on-screen.

What Worked?

OH MY GOD! Apolo Ohno was literally ripped into little pieces on-screen! This led to me framing the term “Ohnotastic” as a way to refer to any spectacular death in a SyFy film. This eventually led to the creation of the Ohno Scale, which from now on, will be used to judge the effectiveness of SyFy carnage. Tasmanian Devils will now forever be one of the pivotal films in the history of the Snarkalecs.

(Hopefully, the next two-headed shark film from the Asylum will feature a Michael Phelps cameo.)

Beyond that, Tasmanian Devils was actually a pretty good film. It was the epitome of a fun movie to watch with friends and director Zach Lipovsky actually managed to generate some genuine suspense. Even better, both Lipovsky and Danica McKellar dropped by twitter and interacted with the people commenting on the film. It’s always really nice whenever filmmakers do this.

On a personal note, I enjoyed Tasmanian Devils because it was filmed in Canada, a country that I am strangely obsessed with. As for the male snarkalecs, they seemed to largely enjoy Tasmanian Devils because of the low-cut top that Danica McKellar’s park ranger was wearing.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked. Life is too short to be critical of a film called Tasmanian Devils.

“OH MY GOD! Just like me!” Moments

Insert your own low-cut top/heaving boobs comment here.

Lessons Learned

Apolo Ohno is not invincible.