Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.17 “House Party”

Posted on March 3, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bicycle cops screw up again.

Episode 3.17 “House Party”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on February 1st, 1997)

One of the one more entertaining things about Pacific Blue is witnessing how bad the bicycle cops actually are at their job.

I don’t think that was intentional on the part of the show. I think the show meant for us to watch TC, Palermo, and Victor on their bikes and think to ourselves, “Those are the men that I want protecting me!” However, the narrative demands of an hour show required that the bike cops always screw up in some way, whether it’s failing to catch the bad guys the first time that they commit a crime or suspecting the wrong guy while working undercover or just letting their personal lives get in the way of their professional judgment. Combine that with some bad scripts and a group of actors who struggled with showing any emotion beyond grim annoyance and you have a show about cops who are not only incompetent but also kind of rude.

That’s certainly the case with this week’s episode. Not only do they allow an escaped murderer (Currie Graham) to grab a gun and take over the station but then TC proceeds to spend almost the entire episode arguing with Palermo and the SWAT team because Chris is among those being held hostage on the inside. When the cops realize that the murderer’s girlfriend is somewhere on the beach, they put Cory in a chicken uniform and have her walk around pretending to hand out flyers for a restaurant. “Chickelicous,” Cory says as she walks along the beach. Of course, the murder’s girlfriend spots her and taking off running. Guess what? It’s not easy to chase someone when you’re dressed like a chicken! Seriously, I can understand trying to maintain some element of surprise but why would they put Coy in a costume that severely limits her mobility?

Anyway, this was a hostage episode, which means that almost whole thing was the hostage taker barking orders while the hostages either cowered in fear or tried to stalk some sense into him and the members of his gang. Episodes about hostage situations are almost always incredibly dull and this episode was no exception. In the end, Victor — who was in the station when the situation started and managed to go unseen by the hostage takers — was there to do his John McClane thing. All of the bad guys died. The hostages were freed. The bike patrol’s main concern was that Chris was okay. I would probably be offended if I was one of the civilian hostages. Just because their friend is okay doesn’t excuse the incompetence that led to the situation in the first place.

Eh. Just another day in L.A., I guess.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.16 “Double Lives”

Posted on February 24, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Chris screws up again.

Episode 3.16 “Double Lives”

(Dir by Scott Lautanen, originally aired on January 18th, 1998)

Sean McGovern (Rob Youngblood) shows up on the beach, looking for Chris. It turns out that he’s a former lover who is now in the witness protection agency. We jump forward several months and Sean has not only vanished by Chris has been accused of helping him flee. Chris is being investigated and, as is typical with this show, the reaction of the bicycle cops is to get offended that they’re being held to any sort of professional standard.

Seriously, Chris’s former boyfriend escapes custody? Heck yeah, Chris should be investigated! (I gave up cursing for Lent, everyone.) Instead, Chris pouts about having to answer the most basic of questions and Palermo wanders around in the background, talking about how he needs to get Chris back on a bicycle and doing her job. It’s hard to take any of this seriously when everyone’s wearing bicycle shorts.

Meanwhile, a gang of teenagers is mugging closeted gay men because they know the men won’t go to the police. Victor is told to go undercover as a gay man to catch the muggers. “No one’s going to believe me as a gay man!” Victor says. Fortunately, Victor is wrong and he’s able to capture the muggers.

This episode was well-intentioned. As far as the mugging storyline was concerned, it treated the victims with sensitivity. Judge Annadale (Gil Gerard) refuses to make a police report because coming out of the closet would end his career and, at the time this show aired, he had every reason to believe that. That said, the actors playing the muggers were not exactly the most intimidating teenagers around. As far as Chris’s storyline is concerned …. who cares? Seriously, why does Chris never have to face any consequences for being awful at her job?

Watching this show is becoming a real trial.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.15 “Armed and Dangerous”

Posted on February 17, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Why is everyone bagging on my town?

Episode 3.15 “Armed and Dangerous”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on January 11th, 1998)

At the local high school, a gun is fired and the bullet grazes the arm of Jessie Palermo (Johna Stewart-Bowden). Jessie, of course, is Lt. Palermo’s daughter. Palermo becomes obsessed with finding out who fired the gun and how that person got the gun. He sends Chris and TC into the school to work undercover and he orders Cory and Victor to find the gun dealer. As for Palermo himself, he visits the local gun store and gives an impassioned speech in favor of gun control.

Yeeesh, this episode.

I mean, I get it. Palermo has every right to be upset. But it’s hard not to notice that he only seems to care whenever a case directly involves either his family or a member of the bike patrol. Whenever it’s just some citizen with whom he doesn’t have a personal connection, Palermo just kind of zones out. If some anonymous student had been shot at the school, there’s no way Palermo would have gone to so much trouble. He would have shrugged it off and hopped on his bicycle. In fact, I’ve noticed that this is true of all the bike cops. They take the “one of their own” syndrome to an extreme that is probably not good for the image of law enforcement. If it’s a friend who needs help, they’ll do everything within their power to help. They’ll even stop doing their patrols of the boardwalk to make time to help a friend. If it’s just some random person who gets mugged, they don’t care. If she doesn’t personally know you, Chris will probably make fun of you for being dumb enough to get mugged in the first place. These bike cops are the worst.

And here’s another thing. Why are the bicycle cops investigating this? Where are the real detectives? Why are two bicycle cops going undercover as opposed to the cops who have actually been trained to do that sort of work?

This is an episode that deals with a serious subject. But it’s hard to really pay attention to what it has to say when everyone’s wandering around in those silly bicycle shorts.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.14 “Heartbeat”

Posted on February 10, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Palermo dies but it’s not a permanent condition.

Episode 3.14 “Heartbeat”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on December 28th, 1997)

This week, Pacific Blue decided to stop pretending that it was anything more than a Baywatch ripoff by having Carmen Electra appear as Lani MacKenzie, the lifeguard that she played on Baywatch. She helped the bicycle cops out with a rescue and then the bike cops helped her out when she had to break up a knife fight on the beach.

Lani was also present to discuss a new program in which two EMTs will ride with the cops. They will learn how to get around on a bicycle while teaching the bike cops stuff like CPR. One of the EMTs is Alexa Cholak (Alex Datcher), an ex-girlfriend of Palermo’s. This complicates things when an explosion rips across the beach. Palermo and a random woman are injured. Alexa and all the bike cops work on restarting Palermo’s heart, giving him mouth-to-mouth and chest compressions. Palermo lives. The woman dies. The woman’s boyfriend then sues the bike patrol because he says that they were so concerned about saving Palermo that they essentially just let his girlfriend die. We’re supposed to dislike the boyfriend but he is actually kind of …. sort of …. right? Chris points out that the woman would have died even if the EMTs had tried to save her but they had no way of knowing that at the time. Essentially, they decided to save their friend Palermo while ignoring someone else who was seriously injured.

This really gets to one of the major problems I have with Pacific Blue. The show just assumes that we’re going to be on the side of the bike patrol no matter what, despite the fact that they often come across as being a bunch of jerks. That’s certainly the case here. When Palermo returns to the office, everyone starts applauding and cheering for him, despite the fact that the dead woman’s boyfriend happens to be standing just a few feet away.

This episode features scenes of the members of the bike patrol being interviewed by a therapist after the explosion. Palermo says that, when he was dead, he didn’t see a bright light or feel any sort of inner peace. He didn’t see his loved ones waiting for him. It’s like even the show is admitting that Palermo is going to go to Hell for creating the bike patrol.

As for the rest of the episode, Chris and Victor investigated the claims of an environmentalist whack job (Michael Houston King) who said that a big evil businessman (Larry Wilcox, of CHiPs fame) was polluting the beach. It turned out the environmentalist was telling the truth. Meanwhile, shaken by the death of the woman and the resulting lawsuit, Alexa resigned from the bike patrol. It would have been touching if Alexa had actually been in more than one episode. Still, each member of the bike patrol popped a wheelie in honor of Alexa. It was dumb. Get those bicycles off the beach!

Stupid episode, this week.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.13 “Avenging Angel”

Posted on February 3, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, two vigilantes disturb the peace, Cory meets a special guest star, and everyone continues to look stupid on their little bicycles.

Episode 3.13 “Avenging Angel”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on December 14th, 1997)

This episode was dumb.

Cory is haunted by nightmares involving her mother, who died when Cory was 10. In her latest nightmare, she runs into her mother at a crime scene and her mom shoots her! Chris thinks that’s an odd dream and she’s right. Cory explains that her mom is just trying to get her attention. Cory believes that her mom is her guardian angel. Chris doesn’t know how to react to this because Cory is expressing an emotion that doesn’t involve being snarky or self-righteous.

When Cory is injured while chasing two Korean brothers (we’ll get to them in a minute), she has to go to rehab. Luckily, Olympic track medalist Florence Griffith Joyner is a patient at the same rehab clinic. Joyner takes Cory under her wing and encourages her to work hard and get her knee back into shape. When Cory says she’s thinking of leaving the force, Joyner tells her not to. “Thanks, FloJo,” Cory replies.

(Yes, Florence Griffith Joyner played herself. As an actress, she was a good athlete.)

As for the two Korean brothers, they are vigilantes who are beating up criminals on the boardwalk and becoming celebrities in their own right. Palermo views them as being a threat to the peace and he’s determined to catch them. Meanwhile, the Mob is determined to kill them and a very annoying talent agent is determined to sign them.

Ugh, what a stupid episode. Usually, I’m a sucker for episodes that deal with people coming to terms with the death of a parent. That’s something to which I can relate. I have no doubt that my mom is also looking over me. But, as much as I wanted to fully embrace Cory’s story, I couldn’t get past the fact that she went to rehab and just happened to meet an Olympic athlete. Maybe if Joyner has been a better actress, this storyline would have worked but, as it was, it just felt forced. There was really no reason why Joyner should have been so wrapped up in whether or not Cory decided to remain with the force.

As for the stuff with the brothers, the entire plotline felt like filler. The brothers couldn’t act. The actors playing the gangsters who wanted to kill the brothers couldn’t act. The talent agents who kept popping up and talking about how much they wanted to sign the brother, they also couldn’t act.

This episode was just painful and all the rehab in the world isn’t going to change that.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.10 “Only In America”

Posted on January 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Lt. Palermo has a lot to deal with.

Episode 3.10 “Only In America”

(Dir by Charles Siebert, originally aired on November 9th,1997)

Lt. Palermo has a lot going on in this episode.

When we first see Palermo, he’s playing basketball near the beach. As has been established in the past, Palermo, a middle-aged white guy, is apparently the best basketball player in all of Santa Monica. In this episode, he discovers that he’s now the second best. Jamal Rasheed (Elimu Nelson), who has just moved to town and who spends most of his time sitting in the stands and reading, turns out to be an even better player than Tony Palermo! Palermo is enthusiastic about Jamal until he discovers that Jamal is a former college player who was suspended when it was discovered that he was shaving points to pay for his drug habit. Jamal claims that he’s now clean and that he’s taught himself to read. Palermo isn’t sure that he trusts Jamal …. and if you’re asking how this is any of Palermo’s business, you’re having the same reaction that I had while I watched this episode.

Palermo is also concerned about a young, roller-blading Romanian named Dimitri Radu (Nathan Anderson), who keeps committing crimes and declaring that he has diplomatic immunity. It turns out that Dimitri wants to exchange his diplomatic immunity for political refugee status. Palermo discovers that Dimitri’s father is a big time arms dealer and that his former partners are looking to take out both him and his son. He also learns that the U.S. government is going to give Dimitri’s father citizenship in exchange for him testifying against his partners. Palermo is outraged!

And again, Palermo — you’re a bicycle cop! You wear those stupid shorts every day. Nobody cared about your opinion, dude!

This episode featured some truly horrendous acting on the part of the guest cast. It also featured a shoot-out in which Cory killed one of the arms dealers. Usually, an officer involved shooting would lead to the officer being on desk duty while the shooting is investigated. Instead, Cory hops on her bicycle and continues to look for Dimitri. This was a pretty dumb episode but it’s Pacific Blue so I wasn’t expecting anything different.

Oh, how happy I’ll be when I finish this series.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.9 “Cop In A Box”

Posted on January 6, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Okay, we’re doing this again.

Episode 3.9 “Cop In A Box”

(Dir by Scott Lautanen, originally aired on November 2nd, 1997)

Oh, Pacific Blue. How I have not missed you.

This episode features TC getting abducted by Harland Groves (Jeremy Roberts), a criminal who TC previously busted. Harland traps TC in an underground beach bunker. How Harland got his hands on an underground beach bunker is never explained. Harland demands that TC’s rich family pay him 4 million dollars. At the same time, he plans to use a chlorine gas bomb to kill TC. Why he didn’t kill TC to begin with and then demand the money is never really explained. It’s almost as if Harland secretly wanted his plan to fail.

I really didn’t have a problem with the idea of TC getting killed off. Pacific Blue is one of the more boring of the shows that I review and killing TC would have livened things up. At the very least, without TC around, I would no longer be forced to try to keep straight which member of Pacific Blue was TC and which member was Victor. Unfortunately, TC manages to disarm the chlorine bomb. When Harland attacks him in the bunker, it leads to a bunch of sand pouring in. Harland is suffocated while TC escapes.

Oh well.

The cool thing about this episode is that Andy Buckley — who later played David Wallace on The Office — returned as TC’s brother. The funny thing about this episode was the sight of grim-faced Palermo barking out orders while wearing his stupid bicycle shorts. And the unfortunate thing is that TC survived so Pacific Blue will not be changing any time soon.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.8 “Matters of the Heart”

Posted on December 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

James Franco is in this episode!

Episode 3.8 “Matters of the Heart”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on October 5th, 1997)

Cory goes undercover to bust a man who is selling babies to couples who can’t have children. Cory pretends to be pregnant and meets the couple who want to buy her baby. What Cory discovers is that the couple would be loving parents. She realizes that she can’t bust them. Palermo is not amused, pointing out that everyone involved is breaking the law.

Meanwhile, Cory has been caring for a baby who was originally meant to be sold to the same couple. Chris is upset. What if the baby cries and wakes her up? Well, Chris, I guess you’ll get to whine about it like you are about everything else. At the end of the episode, Cory arranges for the baby to be adopted by the couple who wanted to buy her in the first place. Palermo, having suddenly changed his tune, says, “This is a wonderful thing you’re doing.”

Meanwhile, TC goes undercover too! He’s busting a drug dealer who is selling amphetamines to extreme athletes, one of whom is played by James Franco! Remember, during the early days of this site, when I had that huge crush on him? I know a lot of people would say that I shouldn’t admit to that, considering the scandal that pretty much ended his career but …. eh, why deny it? Who hasn’t had a crush on someone who later turned out to be kind of sleazy? It’s a part of growing up. Back in 2010, it all came down to two things: I was young and I found him to very, very appealing, in much the same way that I always used to fall for dysfunctional poets and long-haired guitar players in high school and college. Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh, right — Pacific Blue. As far as the show goes, TC is successful despite the fact that he comes across as being a cop the entire time.

This episode …. actually, I’m surprised to say that this episode kind of worked. Not the stuff involving TC obviously, all of that sucked. In the role of TC, Jim Davidson was too expressionless and dull to be convincing as someone who could possibly pull of an undercover operation. But Cory’s storyline worked, largely thanks to Paula Trickey’s performance. (Trickey was one of the more talented members of the cast but Pacific Blue rarely seemed to understand that.) I have to admit that I even teared up a little at the end as Cory said goodbye to the baby that she had spent weeks caring for.

Seriously, me tearing up while watching an episode of Pacific Blue! What a strange world. Maybe it’s the holiday spirit!

On that hopeful note, I finish up my final 2025 review of Pacific Blue. Retro Television Reviews will be off for the holidays, so that I can concentrate on Awards Season and Christmas movies. Pacific Blue will return on January 6th, 2026!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.7 “Repeat Offenders”

Posted on November 25, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s a Chris epiosde. *Yawn*

Episode 3.7 “Repeat Offenders”

(Dir by Charles Siebert, originally aired on September 28th, 1997)

When this show first started, Chris Kelly was introduced as being a hotshot Navy pilot who was forced into reserve status due to her eyesight. In this episode, it’s revealed that she actually left active duty because she was involved in an accident that was the fault of her commanding officer. Rather than testify against him and run the risk of being crucified on the stand and then run out of the Navy, she instead took the blame.

Five years later, she discovers that another Navy pilot, Rebecca Santori (Liza Snyder), is facing the same dilemma. Her commanding officer — who was also Chris’s commanding officer — screwed up and Santori is being pressured to take the blame. Chris encourages Santori to fight for her right to fly. Cory suggests that Chris is pressuring Snantori because Chris feels guilty about giving up when she was in the same position. Cory suggests that Chris is putting Santori’s career at risk just to deal with her own anger and resentment. Chris says that’s not true and the show seems to expect us to take her word for it. Fortunately, things do work for Santori. She is cleared in the accident and Chris is vindicated when its determined that their commanding officer has a long history of incompetence.

This storyline had potential but Chris is just such a one-note character that it’s hard to get excited about anything involving her. Every week, it seems like Chris finds something new to get upset about and every week, anyone who suggests that Chris isn’t being totally honest about her motivations has to deal with the Chris Kelly glare of death. In order to remain sympathetic while glaring at people and telling them that they’re idiots, you have to have some shred of charisma. Chris does not and whenever she’s at the center of an episode, even when she’s in the right as with this one, I just find myself thinking about how much I would dread to have to work with her on a daily basis.

As for the other storyline, thieves are targeting foreign tourists on the boardwalk. Palermo and TC put on Hawaiian shirts and pretend to be foreign tourists. The thieves get arrested. Yay. How exciting. Bike patrol does it again.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.6 “Sandman”

Posted on November 18, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the bicyclists continue to get in everyone’s way.

Episode 3.6 “Sandman”

(Dir by Terrence H. Winkless, originally aired on Sept. 21st, 1997)

A hitman named Robert “Sandman” Enright (John Michael Bolger) has been released from prison. Because Enright was previously arrested by TC, TC decides to start harassing him as soon as he gets out of jail. For a bunch of dorks on bikes, the Pacific Blue folks sure do enjoy abusing their power.

Anyway, Sandman is out for revenge against the three men who framed him. And, since TC is tailing him everywhere, Sandman is able to manipulate TC into basically becoming his bodyguard. The main theme of this episode is that TC is an idiot.

Speaking of idiots, Cory’s boyfriend, FBI Agent Tim Stone (David Lee Smith), confessed that he was thinking of getting back together with his ex. With Chris’s support, Cory fought for her man. Myself, I just struggled with the fact that Stone, TC, Palermo — and their actors, Smith, Jim Davidson, and Rick Rossovich — all basically looked like the same guy at different stages of his life.

Finally, Palermo, TC, and Victor played volleyball! That was at the end of the episode and it went on for a while. The whole scene felt like the show’s way of saying, “Hey, remember when Rick Rossovich was in Top Gun? That was cool.”

As usual, this episode featured a lot of tough talk and intense looks, all of which were negated by the presence of grown-ups on bicycles. Even when TC was spying on the Sandman, he did while sitting on his bicycle. It just looked dumb.