Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  The show is once again on Tubi!

This week, an acquaintance returns to the Island.

Episode 7.18 “Mermaid and the Matchmaker/The Obsolete Man”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on March 24th, 1984)

Nyah (Michelle Phillips) is back!

Okay, maybe you don’t remember Nyah.  This  is Nyah’s first appearance since the fourth season.  In between the last time that Michelle Phillips played Nyah and her resurfacing in this episode, Phillips played five other characters on Fantasy Island.

So, to refresh your memory, Nyah is a mermaid.  During seasons three and four, she tried to tempt men to their death in the ocean and she was presented as being a friendly enemy of Mr. Roarke’s.  In this episode, however, Nyah is a bit nicer.  She’s not malicious as much as she’s just immature.  Roarke, for his part, treats her like a wayward teenager.  Nyah has a fantasy, of course.  She’s tired of being immortal and she wants Roarke to make her a mortal.  Roarke says that he can’t do that.  “You’re the only man who understands immortality!” Nyah says.

Nyah wants to die but instead, Roarke plays matchmaker and arranges for her to meet Duke McCall (Dennis Cole), a sailor who believes in mermaids.  He doesn’t have any issue with Nyah being a mermaid but Nyah, having fallen in love with him, fears that Duke will drown if he tries to pursue her.  Fortunately, for everyone involved, Duke turns into a merman.  Don’t ask me how these things work.  I’m just glad that Roarke didn’t have to kill anyone.

Meanwhile, banker Mitchell Robinson (Bert Convy) fears that he’s going to be replaced by a computer.  Charlene Hunt (Gloria Loring) claims that her computer is just as good at checking loan applications as any human.  She stages a competition between the computer and Mitchell.  Mitchell tries to explain to the computer that it’s important to judge people not just on their credit rating but also their body language.  This somehow causes the computer to explode and Mitchell keeps his job.

“Yay!” viewers in 1984 cheered, “computers will never replace us!”  HA!  Joke’s on you, Mitchell Robinson!

Seriously, you don’t have to tell me about the dangers of a fully automated world.  A.I. is fun for making silly images but it’s going to ultimately lead to a lot of people believing a lot of false things.  But Mitchell was so smug about beating the computer that I’m kind of glad that he still probably lost his job a few years later.  You can’t stop the march of technology, Mitchell!

As for this trip to the Island, the computer storyline didn’t really go anywhere but I did enjoy Michelle Phillip’s return as Nyah.  She and Ricardo Montalban had an enjoyable chemistry and it was fun to watch them bicker.  This week’s episode was uneven but, thanks to Michelle Phillips, it was still more enjoyable the most of what we’ve seen for the seventh season.