Pamela Bowman | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

The Island just hasn’t been the same without Tattoo.

Episode 7.12 “The High Cost Of Loving/To Fly With Eagles”

(Dir by Jerome Courtland, originally aired on January 21st, 1984)

Craig Bradshaw (Doug McClure) is an aging pilot and daredevil who comes to the Island because he wants to compete in one final competition before he gets too old to keep going up in the air. His girlfriend (Christine Belford) doesn’t want him to keep risking his life. In the end, Craig finally comes to peace with the idea of getting older and he also gets engaged.

This fantasy felt pretty familiar. A lot of people have come to the Island over the years with the hope of winning one final competition. Actually, that’s probably one of the more realistic recurring fantasies that this show employs. Who wouldn’t want one last chance to win? If I went to Fantasy Island, I’d probably want to return to my high school years and compete in another speech and debate or drama competition. As for this specific fantasy, it’s always difficult for me to take Doug McClure seriously and this episode was no different.

As for the other fantasy …. yeesh! Lynn Redgrave plays Kristen Robbins, a former advertising exec who was fired when she refused her boss’s sexual advances. Instead of suing the guy, Kristen comes to Fantasy Island and tells Mr. Roarke that her fantasy is to fall in love and get married and start a family because that means she will never be sexually harassed again. (For a 40-something veteran of the advertising world, Kristen is incredibly naive.)

Kristen meets Paul Horner (Alex Cord) and it’s love at first sight. Paul is actually on the Island to interview Kristen for a job with his firm but instead, they have a night of passion. The next morning, Paul tells Kristen that, before they had sex, he recommended her for a job in which she would be working with him in Hawaii!

Kristen asks Roarke to change her fantasy. She now wants to get that job and work in Hawaii. Roarke reluctantly agrees. Kristen does get the job but the company decides that Kristen will be their sole representative in Hawaii and Paul will remain in New York. Kristen asks Mr. Roarke to change her fantasy once again. She doesn’t want the job, she just wants Paul. (Keep in mind that she’s known for Paul for one day.) Paul overhears and pretends to be a cad so that Kristen will take the job.

Now convinced that Paul is a compulsive womanizer, Kristen tells Roarke to change her fantasy back to taking the job. Roarke tells Kristen she needs to make up her own damn mind and then tells her that Paul was only pretending to be a womanizing jerk. In the end, Kristen decides to take the job and marry Paul. Paul decides to continue working in New York. As they leave the Island, they assure Mr. Roarke that they’ll make it work.

Yeah, good luck with that.

This fantasy irked me. Kristen lost her job because she refuses to sleep with her boss. I would rather have seen her get a revenge fantasy than a love fantasy. At the very least, Roarke could have introduced her to a good lawyer. Instead, we got a fantasy in which the main theme was that women are irresponsible and can’t make up their own mind.

This was not my favorite trip to the Island.

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, season three begins with a classic episode!

Episode 3.1 and 3.2 “Roller Disco”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on September 22nd, 1979)

It’s the roller disco episode!

From the moment that I first announced that I would be watching and reviewing CHiPs for this feature, people have been telling me about the legendary roller disco episode. Having finally reached it, I can say that it lived up to the hype. You’re not likely to see anything more 70s than the third season premiere of CHiPs.

Now, this was a two-hour episode so there were actually quite a few subplot going on, all of which were typical CHiPs storylines. In no particular order:

A kid named Mark (Bobby Rolofson) is roller skating around the beach and idolizing three criminals. Can Baker show him that the good guys always win?
The three criminals are Lita (Helena Kallianiotes), Ty (Fred Williamson), and Romo (Jim Brown). Lita sets up the targets. Ty and Romo steal their purses and their wallets and then escape on roller skates. Ty and Romo are tired of breaking the law. Lita demands that they continue to steal. Eventually, it falls to Baker and Ponch to arrest them.
Carlin (Larry Linville) and Franco (Larry Storch) continually cause accidents on the highway.
Rock star Jimmy Tyler (Leif Garrett) is so tired that he sleeps through one of those accidents. Looking to break free from his well-meaning but overbearing manager (Bill Daily), Jimmy decides to manage his own affairs while staying at Jon Baker’s apartment.

There’s a lot going on but the main plotline is Ponch trying to find celebrities to take part in the annual highway patrol fund raiser. Even with his big smile, Ponch struggles to charm the celebs. He pulls over Ed McMahon at one point but fails to recognize him until McMahon drives off. Gatraer tells Ponch that police work comes first but also tells him that he has to find celebrities. Gatraer’s been giving Ponch a hard time ever since the first season. Some things never change.

Fortunately, Jimmy feels guilty for overstaying his welcome at Baker’s apartment and he makes it up to Baker and Ponch by asking his celebrity friends to take part in the fund raiser. It’s time for a roller disco with the stars!

It all leads to this classic scene:

I recognized a few of the stars, though certainly not all of them. I recognized Victor French because I’ve been reviewing Highway to Heaven. I’ve also seen enough old sitcoms that I immediately recognized Robert Mandan, who was apparently the best roller skater in Hollywood. Melissa Sue Anderson, I knew from Happy Birthday To Me. Cindy Williams, who got two shout-outs, I knew from American Graffiti. Is it just me or did Nancy Kulp look kind of lost? Neither Melissa Sue Anderson nor Cindy Williams seemed to want to talk to her.

The roller disco actually goes on for fifteen minutes, which I appreciated. The show promised a roller disco and it delivered. It was like stepping into a time machine and traveling to the 70s. It was a great way to start season three!

Because of the holidays, this is going to be my final CHiPs review of 2024. My reviews of this show will return on January 6th!