Retro Television Review: T and T 3.3 “Halfway to Nowhere”

Posted on April 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Terri and Turner take down the loathsome head of a halfway house.

Episode 3.3 “Halfway to Nowhere”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired January 20th, 1990)

Roman (Louis Ferreira) is an angry young man who is on parole and who has been living at a halfway house that is run by Eddy (Danny Pawlick). When Roman discovers that Eddy has been harassing Roman’s girlfriend, Sissy (Krista Bridges), Roman attacks Eddy. Eddy kicks Roman out of the halfway house and attempts to have him sent back to prison.

Terri just happens to be in the police station when Roman is brought in and, just like Amy used to do before her mysterious disappearance, Terri declares herself to be Roman’s attorney. (One gets the feeling that the show’s producers just crossed out Amy’s name on a bunch of scripts and wrote in “Terri.”) Roman turns out to be a terrible client who refuses to talk to anyone, including the attorney who is trying to keep him out of jail. Terri finally calls up T.S. Turner and asks him for help.

Turner’s reaction is to growl about how late it is.

Seriously, what’s going on with Turner this season? He’s in an even worse mood than usual. Maybe he’s mad because Amy has mysteriously vanished without explanation. After all, Turner owed Amy. Amy was the one who got him out of prison. It made sense that Turner would always be willing to drop everything to help out Amy. Terri is just some random lawyer who has shown up out of nowhere.

Terri, it should be said, is not a very good lawyer. At the parole hearing, she puts Eddy on the stand and asks him a bunch of questions, despite not having a clue as to how Eddy is going to respond. She also dramatically announces that she will be calling Sissy as a witness before she knows whether or not Sissy has agreed to testify. When Turner steps into the courtroom without Sissy and shakes his head because Sissy refuses to testify, Terri is forced to walk back her words. I doubt that parole board appreciated that and they probably took their frustration out on Terri’s client.

In the end, Sissy does agree to wear a wire and Eddy stupidly talks about all the crimes that he’s committed as the head of a halfway house. Eddy ends up getting arrested and Sissy and Roman are reunited briefly. That said, it appears that Roman is still going to go back to jail because Terri is a terrible attorney.

On the plus side, this episode featured one of the most loathsome villains to ever show up on T&T and it was satisfying to watch Terri and Turner take him down. On the other hand, it would have been even more satisfying if Terri wasn’t terrible at her job and if Turner didn’t seem to be annoyed by even having to be in her presence. This episode was a mixed bag but at least it looked like Eddy was going away for a long time.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.2 “Hargrove’s Call”

Posted on March 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, T.S. investigates a shooting involving a retired police officer. I wonder what Amy would think of all this.

Episode 3.2 “Hargrove’s Call”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on January 13th, 1990)

Bitter, retired cop E.V. Richter (J. Winston Carroll) lives alone, in a house that sits in a neighborhood that has seen better days. He spends his days drinking and his nights fighting with the teenagers who live in the neighborhood. One night, the teens are setting off firecrackers in an alley behind Richter’s house. When Richter yells at them, one of the teens starts to approach his house with a firecracker. Richter shoots him and then tries to plant a gun on the body. However, by the time the police arrive, the gun has disappeared.

The wounded teen’s mother recruits Terri and Turner to prove that her son wasn’t carrying a gun when he was shot. While Turner investigates and tries to discover what happened to the gun, Detective Dick Hargrove (David Hemblen) most deal with his own suspicion that his former colleague is not being honest about what happened.

This was an interesting episode, in that Richter was definitely the bad guy but he also had a legitimate reason to be upset. Setting off firecrackers behind someone’s house is pretty obnoxious and responding to homeowner’s complaint by trying to toss a firecracker at him is …. well, actually, it’s kind of illegal. At least, it is down here. Maybe it’s different up in Canada. Maybe in Canada, they settle disagreements with firecrackers all the time, I don’t know. That said, when Richter tries to plant the gun, he reveals that he’s gone over the edge and it becomes apparent that if he hadn’t shot the kid over the firecrackers, he would have shot him over something else. T and T will never be known as a nuanced or particularly thoughtful show but at least this episode tried to do something more than just follow the standard “Mr. T growls and beats people up” plot.

That said, I still find it weird and distracting that everyone on the show acts as if Terri has always lived in the neighborhood and has always been some sort of crusader. Two episodes into season three and there’s still been no mention of what happened to Amy or why Terri is now suddenly the one in charge. Are we meant to assume that Terri was always around but not just seen during the first two seasons? Or did something happen to Amy that required Terri to move to Toronto or wherever this show is supposed to take place? The lack of even the most rudimentary of explanations feels weird and distracting. Obviously, T and T was never a stickler for continuity but having a major character just vanish without explanation is a big deal. Shouldn’t Turner be out looking for Amy or something?

Maybe that’ll happen next week. We’ll see!

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.1 “Cracked”

Posted on March 22, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the final season of T and T begins with some changes!

Episode 3.1 “Cracked”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on January 6th, 1990)

The first episode of the third season begins with all new opening credits. We no longer hear about T.S. Turner’s backstory. I guess it no longer matters that Turner was framed for a murder that he didn’t commit and that crusading lawyer Amy Taler got him out and put him in a suit and tie to work as a private investigator.

That’s not all though. Amy herself is no longer listed in the opening credits. Instead, there’s a new T in T & T. Kristina Nicoll joins the cast as “Terri Taler.” Judging by her last name, it’s easy to guess that she is meant to be Amy’s sister. Of course, if the credits didn’t specifically tell you that Terri’s last name is Taler, you wouldn’t have the slightest idea who she was. This episode begins with Terri already well-established as a neighborhood activist and as Turner’s partner. Amy is not even mentioned. It’s as if she just vanished and suddenly, there was Terri.

I have to admit that really bothered me. It’s true that Amy didn’t get to do much during the second season and I can understand why Alex Amini might have wanted to do other things than just stand in the background while Mr. T growled. But Amy was still technically the co-lead and it just feel wrong to not even have someone say, “Hey, what happened to Amy?”

(Joe Casper is also gone without explanation but Joe was never that important of a character to begin with.)

As for the episode itself, the neighborhood is sick of being home to a crack house. While Terri encourages everyone to protest in front of the house and to take pictures of anyone going inside (which sounds like a good way to get some people killed, to be honest), T.S. tracks down the owner of the house and demands that he work with the police to get the crack dealers out of there. T.S even goes undercover as a drug dealer so that he can get into the house himself….

Seriously, in what world, could Mr. T ever go undercover? I mean, even in-universe, it’s established that T.S. is one of the people protesting the crack house. How are the dealers not going to recognize T.S. Turner? And before anyone says it’s because they’re smoking crack, let me just say that I have some doubts as to whether or not they actually were using that house as a crack house. Seriously, it was the neatest and cleanest crack house that I’ve ever seen.

(Not that I’ve seen many crack houses, mind you. I once lived across the street from someone who stole copper wiring for a living and his house was a mess so I assume a crack house would be even worse.)

Eh. The third and final season is not off to a great start, you all. Hopefully, next week, we’ll get an explanation as to why there’s now a different T in T and T.

Retro Television Review: T and T 2.20 “A Natural Death”

Posted on March 15, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the second season comes to an end!

Episode 2.20 “A Natural Death”

(Dir by Patrick Loubert, originally aired on May 22nd, 1989)

When a patient nearly dies at a hospital, the blame is placed on a nurse named Eloise (Elizabeth Hanna). Eloise is accused of falling asleep at her station. However, Eloise has never fallen asleep at her station in the past and she has a reputation for being a good nurse. Eloise retain Amy Taler to defend her at a board hearing and Amy sends T.S. to the hospital to investigate.

T.S. discovers that the patient is a retired gangster and he starts to suspect that maybe Eloise was set up by someone who wants him dead. But when Eloise herself announces that she no longer wants to to work at the hospital, T.S. comes to suspect that there’s even more to the story.

Oddly enough, there isn’t more to the story. A doctor who owes money to the mob drugged Eloise’s coffee and caused Eloise to fall asleep. The doctor then agreed to help Eloise find work at another hospital in return for dropping her appeal. When the gangsters shows up and demand that the doctor personally kill the patient, he agrees but — surprise! — he was just pretending to agree until T.S., Amy, and the cops could show up.

What a weird episode with which to end the second season. The mystery isn’t much of a mystery. T.S. Turner doesn’t beat anyone up. For whatever reason, both Amy and T.S. appear to be annoyed with the world in general for much of this episode. Amy rolls her eyes when Decker says that he wants to become a better businessman so his gym doesn’t go bankrupt. Turner rolls his eyes when Amy tells him that she wants him to investigate the hospital. Joe, the orphan who Amy and Turner more-or-less adopted at the start of the second season, is nowhere to be seen. This does not, in any way, feel like a season finale and it wouldn’t surprise me to discover that it had been meant to air earlier in the season.

What to say about the second season? It definitely wasn’t as good as the first season. If the first season was fun and energetic, the second season often felt dour. The cast often seemed to just be going through the motions and there was little of the intentional humor that occasionally distinguished the first season. Turner’s quips were a bit less amusing and the show didn’t seem to have the slightest idea what to do with Amy.

Speaking of Amy, this episode was also the finale for her character. Season 3 finds Tuner working for a new lawyer. We’ll find out more next week when we start looking at the final season of T and T.

Retro Television Review: T and T 2.19 “Family Honour”

Posted on March 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s ninja time!

Episode 2.19 “Family Honour”

(Dir by Ryszard Bugajski, originally aired on May 15th, 1989)

First things first, I have to admit that I smiled when I saw the title “Family Honour” flash on the screen. T and T was a Canadian-produced show that always desperately tried to convince viewers that it was actually taking place in the United States. But that “Honour,” which no one on the production staff probably even gave a second thought to, totally gives the game away. It’s like when a Yankee trying to pretend to be from the South says that they’ve been waiting “in line” instead of “on line.”

(Of course, Texans like me also have little tells that give away our place of origin. Me, I drop the g’s on “ing” so casually that I don’t even realize that I’m doin’ it half the time.)

Anyway, this episode begins in medias res. Mrs. Shimada (Brenda Kamino) has invited Amy and T.S. to her home so that she can thank them by serving them tea. Apparently, Amy arranged for a centuries-old Samurai sword to be returned to the Shimada family. T.S., meanwhile, has been guarding the sword because of how valuable it is. Still, that doesn’t stop a ninja from breaking into the house and trying to kill Kim (Lisa Jai), the ten year-old to whom the sword has been gifted. Fortunately, Turner is there to run him off.

Mr. T vs. ninjas!? Hell yeah!

Unfortunately, there aren’t really many scenes of Mr. T fighting the ninjas. There’s one scene where he gets flipped onto his back by an apprentice ninja. And there’s another where T.S. grabs a sword out of a ninja’s hand and then knocks him out with one punch. That was pretty cool. But, considering the potential here, it’s hard to be disappointed by the fact that Mr. T himself never put on a ninja outfit or flew through the air.

Instead, T.S. confronts Kim’s uncle, Ikuta (Denis Akiyama). Having left Japan after bring shame onto the family, Ikuta relocated to Canada and opened up his own ninja training academy in Toronto. T.S. thinks that Ikuta wants the sword for himself and he also thinks that Ikuta is trying to kill his own niece so that he can be rewarded with special ninja powers. (Uhmm …. okay, then.) Ikuta says that’s ludicrous and it turns out that T.S. was too quick to judge Ikuta. It’s not Ikuta who is trying to steal the sword. It’s Ikuta’s main student, James (David Orth)! Ikuta proves his worth by defending Kim from James. Turner, more or less, just observes.

That seems to be a pattern with the last few episode of T and T. As of late, Turner hasn’t been as active a participant as in the past. Instead, it’s hard not to feel that he’s mostly just there so that the show can introduce new characters, all of whom could potentially be spun off into another series. This episode felt much like a backdoor pilot for a show that would have followed Ikuta as he regained his honour. That said, this was still a marked improvement over last week’s episode. You really can’t go wrong with ninjas.

Retro Television Review: T and T 2.18 “Thicker Than Water”

Posted on February 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

If you’ve ever watched T and T and thought, “I wish there was a lot less T in this show,” this week’s episode is for you!

Episode 2.18 “Thicker than Water”

(Dir by Harvey Frost, originally aired on May 8th, 1989)

This is a weird episode.

Ronnie (David Hewlett) and Steve (Gordon Michael Woolvett) are two brothers who have opened up a punk music venue in whatever part of Canada that T and T was filmed in. From the start, everyone is trying to shut them down. The other neighborhood business people claim that the club is bringing in a bad element. The police are unsympathetic whenever a fight breaks out. The fire department is always showing up with a list of regulations. The sinister person who loaned them the money to start the club wants the brothers to burn it down for the insurance money. Seriously, it’s not easy run a venue devoted to angry music that is best appreciated by people who like to fight. But, in the end, the brothers stick together and refuse to let Canada beat them down.

Yay! Take that, Trudeau!

(Yes, I know that Justin Trudeau was not in charge of Canada when this show was filmed but I’m too lazy to look up who was. Actually, T and T always pretended that it was set in the U.S. so I guess I should blame the first Bush. But seriously, everything about T and T screams Canada.)

So, why is this an episode of T and T? Well, Amy is their lawyer. (Sometimes, Amy practices criminal law and sometimes, she practices business law and sometimes, she just acts like a lobbyist. There’s nothing Amy can’t do!) Amy shows up at the club a few times. T.S. Turner also shows up once or twice and says, “Little brother, when you believe in something …. YOU FIGHT FOR IT!”

I’m going to guess that this was a backdoor pilot for a series that would have followed the brothers and their club. I have no idea if the pilot led to a series. It’s really hard for me to imagine what a potential series would have been like but I would say that I thought the club looked cool. I liked the rebellious attitude of the bands that performed there.

Like most backdoor pilots, this is a bit of a wasted episode. This is also the third episode in a row that hasn’t really featured Turner and Amy doing anything new. The previous two episodes were both clip shows and this episode isn’t even about them. These episodes are easy to review (yay!) but you do have to wonder what was going on behind the scenes during the latter half of the second season.

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 2.17 “T.S. Turner For The Defense”

Posted on February 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s time for …. another clip show? Didn’t we just do a clip show last week? Far be it for me to complain about having an easy review to write but how does any show get away with doing two weeks straight of clip shows?

Episode 2.17 “T.S. Turner For The Defense”

(Dir by Patrick Loubert, originally aired on May 1st, 1989)

“Things don’t look too good for Amy when, after upsetting the law society, she gets threatened with disbarment. But even I got nervous when she doesn’t show up for the hearing and it’s left to me to defend her.”

Oh yay! For the first time since the start of the second season, an episode of T and T opens with Mr. T offering up a synopsis of the episode’s plot. It’s been so long since this weird but fun trick has been employed by the show that I originally assumed that this episode was originally meant for the first season. But then I spotted the character of Joe Casper in the background of a courtroom scene and Joe didn’t become a regular character until the second season. Who knows why Mr. T introduced this episode. I’m just glad that he did.

As for the episode itself, Amy’s adventures with T.S. Turner have finally led to her facing disbarment proceedings. Unfortunately, right before heading with Amy to the hearing, Amy’s attorney has a heart attack. Amy blows off the hearing to go to the hospital with her friend and, for whatever reason, it doesn’t occur to her to call Turner or anyone else at the hearing and let them know what’s going on. I mean, her lawyer had a heart attack. Under normal circumstances, this is the sort of thing that would lead to the hearings being postponed.

So, with Amy missing, T.S Turner takes it upon himself to defend her at the hearings. Keep in mind, T.S. is not a lawyer. Amy did not hire Turner to defend her. If there’s not much reason for the hearing to proceed without Amy or her actual attorney, there’s even less for the “law society” to allow T.S. Turner to serve as her counsel. Maybe they do things differently in Canada but seriously, none of this makes any sense.

Maybe I’m overthinking things. Like last week’s episode, this is a clip show and obviously, the main concern of the writers was to find an excuse for everyone to talk about Amy’s previous adventures on the show. Unfortunately, Amy’s adventures have never been as interesting as Turner’s so the clips pretty much all fall into the same three categories: Amy gets mad, Amy gets captured, and Amy flirts with some loser to get information. It all gets repetitive fairly quickly.

Halfway through the episode, Turner calls Joe to testify. “What about you, Joe?” T.S. asks Joe on the stand, “Have you ever gotten in trouble? Tell the court about it, Joe.” Joe proceeds to talk about how he first met T.S. and Amy and it’s hard not to notice that Joe’s entire story centers on T.S. but not Amy. Perhaps realizing that Joe hasn’t been of any help, Turner takes the stand himself and talks about …. himself. We get several flashbacks of Turner beating up criminals and it’s hard not to feel bad for Amy, who isn’t even the center of attention at her own disbarment hearings.

“Every legal indiscretion she has committed is justified,” Turner says as Amy finally steps into the courtroom, “because she has helped so many.”

That’s all it takes for the Canadian Legal Society to decide that Amy can continue as a lawyer. Yay!

Retro Television Review: T and T 2.16 “Substitute Teacher”

Posted on February 9, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, T.S. Turner has a lesson to teach.

Episode 2.16 “Substitute Teacher”

(Dir by Patrick Loubert, originally aired on February 27th, 1989)

When the regular teacher of a middle school social studies class is taken ill, T.S. Turner is sent to fill in. Uhmm, okay….

There some dialogue as the start of the episode that suggests that Amy is responsible for Turner getting the job but I’m not sure why Amy would have that power. As well, Amy drops Turner off at the school. That may not seem like much but there’s a surprise twist at the end of this episode that makes you question a lot of what you previously assumed about Amy.

As for the show itself, it’s a clip show. Turner’s class wants to hear about his exploits so Turner says something like, “You got to be able to depend on your friends,” and then we get a brief montage of Turner talking to various friends (the majority of whom vanished after one episode). Turner says that violence should only be a last resort. Turner also raps about halfway through his lesson and it goes on for a while.

While this is going on, another teacher (Steve Brinder) keeps showing up and claiming that he’s supposed to be the substitute. Turner finally gets tired of him, especially after the teacher takes a swing at him. But then Decker shows up and announces that — whoops! — Turner’s at the wrong school.

Did Amy take him to the wrong school? What the Hell!?

Episodes like this make my job easy because there’s nothing to say about them. It’s a clip show and the final message appears to be that Amy is really incompetent. Duncan Waugh of Degrassi Junior High fame plays one of Turner’s students. One thing about binging Degrassi, T and T, Friday the 13th, and Check It Out! all at the same time is that you see a lot of familiar faces popping up from show-to-show.

Anyway, this was a clip show. Look at all the clips. Hopefully, next week will not be a clip show.

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 2.15 “Jump Start”

Posted on February 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Wait a minute! This isn’t Friday afternoon! This is Saturday morning! Why am I posting my review of this show now?

I’m only human. After a long week, I was so exhausted on Friday that I couldn’t even find the strength to former coherent thoughts about a show as simple as T and T. So, I put off the review until this morning. Of course, I’m still tired. All of this thinking is exhausting. Roll the opening credits so I can take a 90 second nap.

Episode 2.15 “Jump Start”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on February 20th, 1989)

In a rare nod to maintaining some sort of continuity from episode to episode, this week’s episode of T and T opens with a flashback to a previous story. We once again witness how two hapless crooks — Fritz (Dominic Cuzzocrea) and Finn (Ron Gabriel) — tried to pull a gun on T.S. and Decker, just for the clip to fall out of the weapon. At the time, my feeling was that the two crooks were both too incompetent to be viewed as a legitimate threat and this follow-up episode proved me right.

Fritz and Finn are back on the streets, having had their criminal charges dismissed on a technicality. They want revenge on Turner for sending them to jail so they decide to steal his car. However, because they’re both incredibly incompetent, they have to ask Max (Kathleen Laskey, who also played Marlene on Check It Out!) to steal it for them. Just as with so many episodes of Check It Out!, Laskey was this episode’s saving grace. She brought so much badass attitude to the character that you couldn’t help but cheer Max on as she stole Turner’s car.

Unfortunately, Laskey really isn’t in much of this episode. For that matter, Alex, Decker, and even Turner have reduced roles. The majority of the episode is devoted to Fritz and Finn and their total and complete incompetence. I get that it was meant to be comedic but these two characters were so stupid and so foolish and so obviously doomed to failure that there was absolutely no tension as to whether or not Turner would be able to get his car back. As far as I could tell, Turner didn’t even bother to report that his car had been stolen. He just tracked the two guys down and took it back. That’s the power of T and T!

Anyway, this was a throw away episode. I’m not sure why, out of all the villains that have been on this show, T and T decided to bring back the least impressive of them. Episodes like this leave little doubt that all of the serious criminals left Toronto as soon as Mr. T showed up.

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 2.14 “The Contender”

Posted on January 26, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, T.S Turner returns to the ring!

Episode 2.14 “The Contender”

(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on February 13th, 1989)

T.S. Turner meets Kevin Hart!

No, not that Kevin Hart.

Instead, the Kevin Hart in this show is a boxer and he’s played by an actor named Phillip Jarrett. (Kevin Hart, I immediately, noticed was very handsome for someone who made his living getting punched in the face by professionals. I checked with the imdb and I was not surprised to learn that Phillip Jarrett was a model before he went into acting.) Kevin Hart is a contender for the championship but his trainer has vanished. With the big fight coming up, Hart’s manager asks T.S. Turner to train him for the fight.

Kevin Hart turns out to be a boxer with an attitude. He shows up at Decker’s Gym with his entourage and is miffed to discover that Turner is running late. “What does T.S. stand for?” Hart demands to know, “Too Stupid?”

“Temporarily Sorry,” Turner says as he steps into the gym.

“Temporarily?”

“Yeah,” Turner growls, “I was sorry but now I’m not.”

Turner works hard to train Hart. Or, at least, it appears that he works hard. For the most part, we just see a montage of Hart doing physical stuff while Turner yells at him. Despite Turner’s efforts, Hart doesn’t even seem to care about the fight. He does care when someone takes a shot at him in the gym. Pressured by Turner, Hart finally confesses that he agreed to take a dive. He also says that all of his other fights were fixed as well. That’s why his former trainer ran away. He didn’t want to be involved with a boxer who was owned by the Canadian Mafia.

Turner doesn’t have any time for that attitude. He tells Hart that he has the talent to win the fight on his own. He also tells Hart that it’s time to fight like a man and win. Inspired by Turner’s words, Hart does just that. By the end of the show, Hart is the champ. I imagine he’s got the mob after him now but oh well. I mean, Sonny Liston reportedly upset the mob and he still managed to live a full and exciting life until his mysterious death at the age of 40. So, I’m sure boxing’s Kevin Hart will be fine and maybe, some day, he’ll change his mind about hosting the Oscars.

The way to make watching this episode entertaining is to pretend that Mr. T was playing Clubber Lang and not T.S Turner. Apparently, in an early draft of his script for Rocky Balboa, Sylvester Stallone wrote a scene in which it would be revealed the Lang changed his ways and became a preacher after losing his rematch with Rocky. So, this episode of T and T — and really, the entire series — works best as Clubber Lang fan fiction. As Rocky said at the end of Rocky IV, “Everybody can change!”