Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.24 “The Moving Finger”

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters comes to its conclusion.

Episode 3.24 “The Moving Finger”

(Dir by Kenny Myers, originally aired on April 26th, 1991)

Monsters comes to a close with an adaptation of a Stephen King short story.

Nerdy Howard (Tom Noonan) is shocked to discover that, every time he goes to any of the various drains in his house, a bony finger pokes out. Howard’s wife can’t see the finger but Howard becomes obsessed with it, attacking it with a corrosive liquid and eventually a hedge trimmer. No matter how much damage Howard does to it, the finger comes back, longer and stronger….

Despite the Stephen King pedigree and the presence of the usually reliable Tom Noonan, The Moving Finger makes for a disappointing conclusion to Monsters. King’s style, and this is especially true of his short stories, often doesn’t translate well into visual adaptations. The signature inner monologues and the building sense of dread can be difficult to recreate visually. (One reason why The Shining is the best King adaptation is because Stanley Kubrick made the material his own and didn’t worry about trying to recreate all of King’s trademark ~~bullshit~~ literary flourishes.) Tom Noonan doesn’t have much of a character to play and the finger itself becomes less effective as the episode drags on.

Oh well! Monsters was a generally uneven show so it’s perhaps appropriate that it ended on an unsteady note. It’s the curse of the anthology format. When Monsters was good, it was really, really good. When it was bad, it was kind of boring. There were a lot of good episodes that aired during the final season but, sadly, there were a few bad ones as well. That said, the good Monsters episodes to outweigh the bad and forgettable ones.

That’s it for Monsters! Next week, something new will premiere in this time slot. What will it be? I have no idea but I look forward to finding my next show!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.23 “The Maker”

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we have the second-to-last episode of Monsters!

Episode 3.23 “The Maker”

(Dir by William Wesley, originally aired on April 18th, 1991)

Mack (Philip Anglim), a suit-wearing vagrant, wanders into what he thinks is an abandoned hotel. Mack just wants a place to spend the night and he’s shocked to discover that the hotel is also occupied by Freddy Fredericks (Eddie Bracken), a former stage magician who is now an alcoholic. When Mack asks how an abandoned building has electricity, Freddy explains that he can create things with his mind. Mack is skeptical so Freddy creates an apple and a banana. Mack asks for money and Freddy creates that. It’s quite a power except there always seems to be some small mistake. For instance, the money has Mack’s picture on it. When Freddy tries to create gold, he creates brass instead. Mack decides that the alcohol is holding Freddy back and he demands that Freddy quit cold turkey.

Bad idea.

When someone can create things just by thinking about them, the last thing you want is for that persons to get the DTs.

This, the second-to-last installment of Monsters, was definitely an effective episode. It wasn’t perfect. It got off to a slow start and Eddie Bracken occasionally went a bit overboard as Freddy. But the idea of Freddy’s alcoholism inhibiting his powers was a good one and the episode took it in a pretty clever direction. The monster — half snake/half-woman — that was created by Freddy’s DTs was genuinely frightening and the episode’s final twist not only made sense but it also worked. All in all, it was a very good episode.

Next week, we’ll finish up Monsters with a Stephen King adaptation starring Tom Noonan.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.21 “Talk Nice To Me”

Posted on June 18, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, someone won’t stop calling!

Episode 3.21 “Talk Nice To Me”

(Dir by Ernest Farino, originally aired on February 17th, 1991)

A sexist newspaper columnist named Martin (Ed Marinaro) starts receiving phone calls from a woman (Tina Louise) with a sultry voice. She continually calls him, leaving message after message. She refuses to reveal her name or how she got Martin’s unlisted “private” number. (This episode aired during the landline era, before you could block numbers.) Martin tries everything to get her to stop calling. He disconnects his phone for two days but, as soon as he reconnects, she calls again. Martin can’t work. He can’t write. When he invites Linda (Teri Ann Lind) over to his apartment, his paranoia prove to be a real turn-off. He becomes convinced that the stalker has somehow entered his apartment. The truth is even more twisted….

This episode had potential but it was let down by a rather cartoonish performance by Ed Marinaro. I could buy Marinaro as a misogynist. I could even buy Marinaro as a womanizer. I couldn’t buy him as a successful newspaper columnist and, as a result, the whole “you’re going to lose your column!” subplot fell flat for me. That said, Martin’s apartment was an appropriately claustrophobic location and the idea of the nonstop caller was suitably creepy. This was not necessarily bad episode. It’s just an episode that could have been better than it was.

Only three more episode to go and we will have finished up with Monsters. Though uneven, the third season has still been a marked improvement over the first two. Even the third season episodes that don’t work quite as well as they should, like this one, are watchable.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.20 “Werewolf of Hollywood”

Posted on June 11, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Monsters satirizes the film business. Well, it’s about time someone did!

Episode 3.20 “Werewolf of Hollywood”

(Dir by Thomas J. Whelan, originally aired on February 10th, 1991)

Screenwriter Buzz Hunkle (Richard Belzer) has been instructed to rewrite a script that was originally written by Leo Tandoski (Shelley Berman). Leo’s script is about a studio head who is actually a werewolf. Buzz and his assistant Vicki (Geraldine Leer) read the script and immediately deduce that Leo is attacking executive Billy Mariner (David Leary). At first, Buzz just assumes that the werewolf angle is a bit of heavy-handed satire but, when Leo turns up dead, Buzz comes to suspect that Billy might actually be a werewolf! Vicki gives Buzz a gun full of what she claims are silver bullets and she sends him off to investigate. Of course, it turns out that everyone in this show business tale has a secret or two.

This episode …. well, I liked the idea behind it. It had potential, I’ll give it that. And the werewolf effects were certainly effective. Monsters was a show that almost always featured effective makeup and costuming. That said, I have to admit that I wanted to like this episode more than I actually did. Whenever Monsters tries to be intentionally funny, it almost always comes across as if it’s trying too hard and that was certainly the case with this episode. As an actor, Richard Belzer was always inconsistent. He did good work as Detective Munch. In this episode of Monsters, he sleepwalks through the role. I really wanted this episode to work but it just feel flat for me.

Guess what? We’ve only got four more episodes of Monsters left! Overall, I have enjoyed reviewing this show, even if it has been a bit uneven overall. I’ll miss it when I’m done.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.19 “A Face For Radio”

Posted on May 21, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s terror on the radio!

Episode 3.19 “A Face For Radio”

(Dir by Bruce Feirstein, originally aired on February 3rd, 1991)

Late night radio talk show host Ray Bright (Morton Downey, Jr.) is sleazy guy who describes his own show as being “hate radio.” Over the course of one program, he tries to humiliate two female guests. The first is a psychic (Julie Wilson) who says that she’s had visions of Ray trapped in a dark room. The second is Amada Smith-Jones (Laura Branigan), who claims that she was once abducted by aliens. She carries with her a cage that she says contains the alien. Ray takes one look at the ugly and snarling little creature inside the cage and dismisses it as a puppet. Amanda says that the alien is real and that it eats “bad” people, but only if they give their permission first. Will Ray be stupid enough to give his permission?

You probably already guessed the answer to that question. Though predictable in the way that anthology shows often are, this was still an effective episode. Downey, who I understand was an actual talk show host, was very believable as the incredibly sleazy (and incredibly stupid) Ray and Laura Branigan was just as effective as the enigmatic Amanda. As for the alien in the cage, it was actually one of the more effective monsters to appear on Monsters. I had to laugh when Ray dismissed at as being a puppet because, after so many episodes featuring creatures that obviously were puppets, this episode featured a creature that looked very much alive.

The episode ended on a bit of a foul note, largely due to the fact that a new character showed up and started speaking with one of the fakest Texas accents that I’ve ever heard. Otherwise, though, this was a well-done 21 minutes.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.18 “Desirable Alien”

Posted on May 14, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, an immigrant wants to stay in America.

Episode 3.18 “Desirable Alien”

(Dir by Bette Gordon, originally aired on January 27th, 1991)

Hercules (Tony Spiridakis) is a Greek immigrant who claims that he cannot return to his home country because of a mysterious birth defect. Hercules wants to be an American citizen but, for some reason, he is hesitant to take the physical exam necessary for citizenship and he always finds a way to put it off. As he waits to become a citizen, Hercules works in a restaurant with his friend, Luis (Luis Guzman). Hercules has had several case workers, all of whom have mysteriously stopped working for the Immigration agency after meeting with Hercules. It turns out that almost every woman that Hercules meets ends up becoming one of his lovers. Luis is impressed. Hercules says that he can’t help it. And, as caseworker Maggie (Wendy Makkena) discovers, he’s not lying. It turns out that Hercules is actually a satyr. Debbie Harry, of Blondie fame, has a brief cameo as a doctor who shows up to give Hercules his physical and who quickly becomes one of his lovers.

This episode was well-acted but it didn’t really add up to much. It’s tempting to try to connect the episode’s story to modern politics and the current debate about immigration but …. nah. That would be giving this episode a bit too much credit. As much as I complain about programs that are too long for the often simple stories that they tell, this episode is a case where I wouldn’t have minded a bit more time to explore the story. With a 21-minute runtime, this episode felt rushed and rather incomplete.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.17 “Leavings”

Posted on May 7, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Monsters makes even less sense than usual.

Episode 3.17 “Leavings”

(Dir by John Tillinger, originally aired on January 20th, 19991)

Two cops (played by Tony Shalhoub and John Christopher Jones) are concerned about something that they’ve noticed on the streets. Homeless people who are missing limbs are showing up. The cops know that the homeless people had all their limbs just a few days ago but now, they’re gone. There’s no sign of surgery or any sort of trauma. The limbs are just disappearing apparently. Meanwhile, there’s some new homeless guy wandering around who appears to be made out of limbs that don’t really seem to go together.

They go to their boss (Clifton James) with this concerns. Their boss tells them not to worry about it. However, the cops continue to worry about it. This leads to their boss revealing the truth of what’s happening. It turns out that their boss has been stealing body parts and building new people for years. He’s trying to create a policeman who will be loyal and who won’t ask questions. (We only see one of these constructed cops in the show. He wears a jacket that identifies him as being Officer S. Partz.) The boss then kills the two cops because they’ve seen too much.

This was a weird episode. How exactly did their boss learn how to remove body parts without leaving any sort of obvious signs of trauma? How did he learn how to bring his constructed people to life? How did …. well, it just doesn’t make any sense. It’s true that a 30-minuet anthology show doesn’t necessarily have to make perfect sense but this episode really does stretch things a bit too far. The three actors all give good performances but, otherwise, this episode just falls a bit flat.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.16 “The Waiting Room”

Posted on April 30, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, on Monsters, a dark room leads to trouble.

Episode 3.16 “The Waiting Room”

(Dir by Philip Alderton, originally aired on January 13th, 1991)

Newlyweds John (Christian Jules LeBlanc) and Catherine (Lisa Waltz) are invited to come stay at an isolated hotel by John’s father, Benjamin (John Saxon). Benjamin explains that the hotel is where he spent his honeymoon. He tells Catherine, “Your husband was conceived in this very room.” Uhmm …. okay. That’s not a creepy thing for a father-in-law to say or anything.

When John disappears, Benjamin tells Catherine the truth. On his wedding night, Benjamin cheated on his wife with a mysterious woman (Denise Gentile) who was staying in a darkened room that appeared to be next door to Benjamin’s. The woman turned out to be an otherworldly creature, one who lived between the real world and spirit world. The woman trapped Benjamin in the room, only allowing him to go after he promised to give her a child.

Benjamin thought he had escaped the woman but, over the years, he discovered that she would show up whenever he walked into a dark room. For that reason, he always has all of the lights on. Now, John has been captured by the woman and it seems like she’ll only exchange him for Benjamin. The problem is that Benjamin doesn’t want to go….

Now, this was a good episode of Monsters! The story was interesting, the direction was atmospheric, the monsters were menacing, and the entire cast did a good job of bringing their characters to life. John Saxon especially gave a good performance as the guilt-ridden Benjamin, alternating between moments of sublime creepiness, truly pathetic cowardice, and very real regret. For once, the story felt neither rushed nor incomplete. In 21-minutes, this episode told an effective story that stayed with the viewer, even after the macabre ending.

Anthology shows are, by their very nature, uneven but the third season of Monsters really did feature some excellent episodes. This was definitely one of the best.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.15 “The Space Eaters”

Posted on April 23, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, on Monsters, the aliens are due in New England so get your mudrooms ready!

Episode 3.15 “The Space Eaters”

(Dir by Robert T. Megginson, originally aired on January 6th, 1991)

On a stormy night in New England, two old friends get together to play chess. As is obvious from the dialogue, Howard (Richard Clarke) and Frederick (Matt Hulswitt) have been friends for a long time and their chess game is more than just a way to wait out the bad weather, It’s a part of an ongoing tradition. Howard is a respected small town doctor. Frederick is a veteran. Neither one is the type to believe stories about aliens coming to Earth.

Until, of course, it actually happens.

Their friend, Henry Wells (Richard Hughes), stumbles into the house and says that he and the other towns people were all captured by aliens and their brains have been eaten. Henry collapses and dies. A quick examination of his head reveals a bloodless hole. Frederick thinks that it might had been the result of a gunshot but why is there no exit wound? Howard takes a closer look at the hole and discovers that Henry is indeed missing his brain. Suddenly, Henry starts to speak in the voice of the alien and Howard and Frederick realize that Henry’s crazy story was true. The aliens have arrived and they’re eating brains! Can Howard and Frederick, who are apparently the last two townspeople who still have their brains, find a way to outsmart the aliens?

This was a good episode, one that was heavy on atmosphere and which featured good performances from the three-man cast. When the aliens did show up at the end, their design paid homage to the type of aliens that used to appear in Roger Corman’s 50s sci-fi films. It’s a nice touch. I always like it when Monsters pays homage to the horror and science fiction films of the past.

This was another good season 3 episode of Monsters! It’s rare that a show gets better in its later seasons but, so far, the third season of Monsters has been a hundred times stronger than the previous two seasons. We’ll see if that pattern continues next week.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.14 “Household Gods”

Posted on April 9, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we meet a chauvinistic demon.

Episode 3.14 “Household Gods”

(Dir by Michael Warren Powell, originally aired on December 30th, 1990)

Deborah (Deborah Van Valkenburgh) is a married woman who is trying to balance her career with taking care of her baby. No matter how hard Deborah tries to keep it together, it seems like there’s just one household crisis after another and her husband (Jeffrey Ware) doesn’t appear to have any sympathy for her predicament. Deborah hires a nanny (Priscilla Shanks) who tells Deborah that her attitude has upset the Household God, a little misogynistic monster who punishes women who want a life outside of the home. Deborah is skeptical but, this being an episode of Monsters, it turns out the nanny was right. There is a messy and self-centered deity living in her house and he’s going out of his way to make her life difficult. He’s played, under a good deal of makeup, by Michael Anderson, the actor who played “The Man From Another World” on Twin Peaks.

This episode had potential. The idea that there’s a little sexist demon that is responsible for making it so difficult to balance family and career was an intriguing one and also one that was ripe for satire. Tonally, though, this episode never quite came together. This was one of those episodes that couldn’t seem to decide if it wanted to be a comedy or a horrific drama and as a result, it just kind of fell flat. Deborah Van Valkenburgh gave about as good a performance as one could, considering that the show itself often didn’t seem to know how it felt about her character and her predicament. But, for the most part, this episode was a good idea that was poorly executed.

It happens.