Tag Archives: Matthew Lawrence

Horror Film Review: Tales From The Darkside: The Movie (dir by John Harrison)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

First released in 1990 and based on a horror-themed television series that was created by the one-and-only George Romero, Tales From The Darkside: The Movie is an anthology film.  Usually, I can’t stand anthology films because it seems like the viewer only gets one good story and has to sit through two or three mediocre stories to get to the worthwhile stuff.  However, I have to say that I really enjoyed all of the stories featured in Tales From The Darkside: The Movie.

The film opens with a wrap-around story, featuring Timmy (Matthew Lawrence), a young boy who is chained up in a pantry and who a local witch named Betty (Debbie Harry) is planning on cooking for a dinner party.  Timmy tries to distract Betty from her kitchen duties by telling her three stories.

The first story features Steve Buscemi as a nerdy college student named Edward Bellingham.  On the verge of getting a much-needed scholarship, Edward is framed for theft by two of his classmates (one of whom is played by Julianne Moore) and loses the scholarship.  Edward responds by doing what anyone would do.  He unrolls an ancient parchment and brings to life a mummy who kills his rivals.  A very preppy Christian Slater plays Andy, the smug brother of one of the victims who seeks revenge against Bellingham.  In a surprise twist, Bellingham is able to get some vengeance of his own.

The second story features William Hickey as Drogan, an annoying old man who is convinced that he is being stalked by an evil black cat.  Drogan hires a hitman (David Johansen) to kill the cat but, as we all know, black cats are far more clever than anyone realizes.  The story ends on a notably grisly note because cats rule!

Finally, the third story features James Remar as a struggling artist who, one night, discovers that the stone gargoyle that sits atop of his apartment building is actually alive.  After witnessing the gargoyle kill someone, the artist promises never to reveal that the gargoyle exists.  “Cross your heart?” the gargoyle asks before flying away.  Later, the artist meets a mysterious woman (Rae Dawn Chong) who helps him to become a success on the art scene.  However, even after he marries the woman and they start a family, Remar is still haunted by his memories of the gargoyle.

As I said at the start of this review, I’m not a huge fan of anthology films but I really liked Tales From The Darkside: The Movie.  All three of the stories are equally good and there’s really not a slow spot to be found.  This is a horror anthology that manages to balance scares and laughs without becoming too silly or forgetting that the movie is meant to be a horror story.  Steve Buscemi, Christian Slater, and James Remar are stand-outs amongst the cast.  Even the wrap-around story had a good ending!

If you’re going to watch an anthology film for Halloween, allow me to recommend Tales From The Darkside: The Movie!

What Lisa Watched Last Night #226: Double Threat (dir by Shane Stanley)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the 2022’s action film, Double Threat!

Why Was I Watching It?

I attended two watch parties on Monday and Double Threat was the second feature.  Jeff, Leonard, and I watched Double Threat with out friends Brad and Sierra and a few others.  Sierra was the one who recommended the film, having seen it while at work the previous week.  It was a fun night!  We enjoy watching movies together.

What Was It About?

Natalie (Danielle C. Ryan) has a job at a huge convenience store that is sitting in the middle of nowhere.  She does a good job working at the place, though her only regular customer is just an old man who enjoys asking Natalie to climb a ladder for him.

When an army of gunmen show up looking to kill Natalie, Natalie slips into her second personality of Natasha and goes on the run with a mild-mannered guy named Jimmy (Matthew Lawrence) who just happened to be in the store at the wrong time.  As Nat explains it to Jimmy, the convenience store was actually a front of the mob and Natasha (but not Natalie) was skimming money.  So now, the entire mob is looking to kill her.  Meanwhile, Jimmy just wants to make it to the coast so that he can spread the ashes of his dead brother.  (Awwwwwww!)

Heading up the search for Nat is Ask (Dawn Oliveri) and Ellis (Kevin Joy).  Ellis is the son of a mob boss and he’s eager to prove that he’s more than just the boss’s son.  However, he’s also Natasha’s former boyfriend and, whenever he has a chance to shoot her, he tends to instead start demanding to know why they broke up.  No wonder Ask keeps getting frustrated!

What Worked?

Danielle C. Ryan did a good job playing both Natalie and Natasha and she had very likable chemistry with Matthew Laurence.  They made for a natural couple and I did find myself really hoping that things would work out for the two of them.

Most of the action took place in the country.  I’m a city girl at heart but I do still have a soft spot for the natural, undeveloped corners of America and this film provided a lot of nice scenery.

What Did Not Work?

The plot was a bit too overly complicated.  To be honest, I think the film would have worked just as fine (and would probably have flowed a bit better) if it had abandoned the whole idea of Nat having multiple personalities and had instead just had her be a badass who happened to work at a convenience store.

While I did occasionally laugh at Ellis’s inability to corner Natasha without demanding to know why she had dumped him, the scenes with Ellis and Ask got a bit repetitive.

“Oh my God!  Just Like Me!” Moments

Nat and I definitely have the same philosophy when it comes to driving.  Of course, Nat had the excuse that she had a bunch of mob assassins after her.  I just like to drive fast.

Lessons Learned

Never accept a job working at a mob front.  Not only do you have like absolutely no job security but apparently, you’ll end up having to run the entire store by yourself.

The Films of 2020: Money Plane (dir by Andrew Lawrence)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yes, that’s Kelsey Grammer holding a machine gun in the picture above.  This is a screenshot from a film called Money Plane, which is about a plane where people gamble on everything from Texas Hold ‘Em to Russian Roulette to how long it will take a man to die after being bitten by a cobra.  A group of thieves are recruited to rob the money plane.  Grammer plays the man who ordered the robbery, a total psycho who is named Darius Grouch III but who prefers to be called The Rumble.

And listen, there’s a lot of things that you can say about Money Plane.  Does the plot always make sense?  Of course not.  Heist films aren’t supposed to make much sense.  Does the film look cheap?  You bet.  This isn’t a Hollywood blockbuster.  This film is closer to be a mockbuster.  But, dammit, any movie that features Kelsey Grammer loudly announcing, “I’m the baddest motherfucker around!” in that voice of his is automatically going to be one of the best of the year.

Well, maybe not the best.  As I said, Money Plane is a low-budget action movie and, watching it, you get the feeling that the film was largely made as a lark.  It’s a silly movie but, when taken on its own very undemanding terms, it’s actually pretty fun.  Unlike a lot of action films, Money Plane has a sense of humor and one gets the feeling that the cast and crew were in on the joke.  One could imagine a director like Steven Soderbergh taking this material and ruining it by trying to pretend as if there was more going on underneath the surface of the film than there actually was.  Money Plane, on the other hand, makes no apologies and doesn’t pretend to be anything that it isn’t.

Here’s a few things I liked about Money Plane:

1) One of the thieves was played by Katrina Norman and she got to beat up some sleazy men.  That’s always fun to watch.

2) The great Thomas Jane had a small but key role as the best friend of the main thief (who was played by former wrestler Adam Copeland).

3) I couldn’t help but be amused by the fact that the famous Money Plane was just an ordinary airplane, as opposed to some sort of gigantic floating fortress.

4) I also found myself strangely amused by the fact that the inside of the plane appeared to be significantly bigger than the outside.

5) When it was announced that the next game would be “Texas Hold ‘Em,” a dude wearing a cowboy hat stood up and was like, “This is my game!”

6) Jackson Pollock and several other painters are referred to as being “a bunch of bitches,” which amused me as an art history major.

7) Adam Copeland’s ex-wife is played Denise Richards, who once again proves that she’s a better actress than she’s frequently given credit for.

8) And, of once again, how can you not love a film that has Kesley Grammer cursing up a storm and running around with a machine gun?

I recommend Money Plane.  It’s enjoyably silly.

 

Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: The Psycho She Met Online (dir by Curtis Crawford)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

(I am currently in the process of cleaning out my DVR!  It’s probably going to take me longer to do this than it took Theodosia Burr to make her way to Alexandria, Virginia after getting shipwrecked in 1812.  I recorded The Psycho She Met Online off of Lifetime on April 9th!)

Let’s just start with the obvious.

The Psycho She Met Online?

That is, without a doubt, one of the greatest titles in the history of Lifetime movies.  Not only does it tell you exactly what this movie is about (no ambiguity here!) but it also tells you that this film will feature everything that we love about Lifetime films.  When it comes to Lifetime, regardless of the movie, there are two things that will always be true.

First, anyone you meet is going to turn out to be a psycho.

Secondly, anything that begins online is ultimately going to lead to disaster.

In this case, the film is about an EMT named Karen (Chelsea Hobbs).  Karen briefly becomes a minor celebrity when she rescues a man from a serious automobile accident.  The twist is that the man just happened to be her husband, Andrew (Matthew Lawrence)!

With Andrew laid up in the hospital, Karen decides to make some extra money by renting out some of the spare rooms in their house.  She does this be placing an ad online.  Oh, Karen!  Don’t you realize that only crazy people do stuff online!?

(And what does that say about me, posting my film reviews online!?  And you reading them online!?  OH MY GOD, WE’RE ALL CRAZY!)

Anyway, Karen soon ends up with two boarders.  One is a nice old man named Evander Swandson (Robert Welch).  He enjoys going on nature walks and taking photographs.  He respects the rules of the house and does his best to stay out of everyone’s way.  He is apparently among the one percent of internet users who are not insane and, as soon as Evander showed up, I knew he was doomed.

The other room is taken by Miranda (Charity Shea).  Miranda is the psycho of the title.  If her superficial resemblance to Jodi Arias doesn’t convince you of that, just wait until she starts killing people.  Miranda is a dancer at a “gentleman’s club,” though she doesn’t tell Karen that.  Miranda also claims to be Karen’s half-sister and she is just so excited that they will finally have the chance to get to know each other!

At first, Karen is excited too.  She’s always wanted a sister and now, she’ll no longer have to settle for a surrogate sibling relationship with her friend, Aubry (Alexis Maitland).  However, she soon starts to wonder whether she really wants to have Miranda in her life.  Miranda is kind of clingy.  Miranda appears to be a pathological liar.  Miranda gets jealous whenever Karen has plans that don’t involve her.  When Miranda gets upset, she has a habit of ranting to herself.  (Then again, I do that as well.)

And, of course, there’s the fact that Miranda has a habit of killing people…

That’s right, it’s yet another Lifetime movie about an obsessive relationship that goes from being friendly to murderous in the blink of an eye.  Fortunately, this movie was written by Christine Conradt and directed by Curtis Crawford, two Lifetime veterans who know how to make movies like this interesting.  The Psycho She Met Online might never surprise you but then again, the predictability of the format is part of the fun when it comes to Lifetime thrillers.  The best role in any Lifetime film is always the psycho and Charity Shea does a great job as the totally insane Miranda.

All in all, it’s another enjoyable Lifetime film!