Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, we meet T.S. Turner’s family!

Episode 1.7 “The Silver Angel”

(Dir by Donald Shebib, originally aired on February 22nd, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T informs us, “Amy and I get mixed up with a modern day Robin Hood and we are forced to recruit some heavyweight help.”

The Silver Angel is a silver-clad trumpet player who has been going to a high-priced grocery store, filling his cart with food, and then running off with the cart and not paying.  The police that think that they have finally arrested him.  However, the man that they caught is Duffy (Edward Atienza), an elderly crossing guard who doesn’t even seem to know what’s happening to him.  Amy is assigned to his case.

T.S., however, has other things to worry about.  As he explains to gym owner Decker, his nephew is a member of a rap group known as The Fat Boys and, as you might guess from their name, they’re a bit overweight.  Their manager wants The Fat Boys to lose a few pounds before their next tour and who better to oversee their diet than T.S. and his friend Decker?  The Fat Boys show up at the gym and it’s time for an exercise montage!

Anyway, it soon becomes apparent that Duffy is not as senile and frail as he appears to be and he actually is the Silver Angel.  Amy discovers that Duffy has been taking the stolen food to a homeless shelter.

“It’s still a crime,” T.S. says.

“I know.  It looks like I’m going to lose this case!” Amy declares, as if she’s the first attorney to ever defend someone who was guilty.  One would think that Amy would understand that the job of a defense attorney is to serve as an advocate for their client and to help them make their way through the legal system.  The question of whether or not the guy is actually guilty really isn’t the issue that she should be concerning herself with.

The Fat Boys, overhearing Amy and T.S.’s conversation, decide that they need to help the Silver Angel.  “My mind is clear,” one of the Fat Boys says, “so you stay right here!”  Did I mention that the Fat Boys rap all of their dialogue?  “I went downtown to get this stuff,” another Fat Boy declares as they collect food to give to the homeless, “Come on, brothers, it’s up to us!”

Anyway, Duffy puts on his angel costume once again and shows up at the grocery store.  When the store’s manager, Mr. Hanlon (Sam Moses), orders security to catch the Angel, the Fat Boys suddenly show up in angel costumes and it leads to a chase scene throughout the store.

T.S. brings the chase to a close by grabbing Mr. Hanlon, lifting him up and carrying him around the store.  T.S. tossed Mr. Hanlon into a display of eggs and declares, “Sorry, brother!  Nobody touches an angel!”

How about a thief?  Are they allowed to touch a thief?

Anyway, for some reason, Hanlon drops the charges so I guess Duffy gets away with his crimes and Amy maintains her perfect acquittal record.

This was dumb.  Grocery store owners don’t owe you a thing and, by stealing all of that food, the only thing Duffy did was probably cost everyone their Christmas bonus.  I mean, is there a reason why he couldn’t buy food and then take it to the homeless shelter?  Some hero.  More like the Silver Jackass, am I right?  Let’s move on.

Episode 1.8 “And Baby Makes Nine”

(Dir by Harvey Frost, originally aired on February 29th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “Amy and I find that more than just diapers are dirty when we track down the person responsible for an abandoned baby.”

One of Amy’s clients leaves a baby on the front doorstep on the office, along with a note that says she’ll be back in a few days.  As opposed to calling the police or child protective services, Amy gives the baby to T.S. to look after.  T.S. takes the baby to the hospital and, after discovering the baby is in perfect health, he takes the baby to Decker’s gym.  Amy is not happy when she sees T.S.’s car parked outside the gym.  A gym is no place for a child, she declares, not with all the sweaty men around.

“The baby has to learn how to sweat,” Decker replies, “He can’t pant like a dog for all of his life!”

Back at the office, Amy explains that parenting is a little bit more complicated nowadays than it was when T.S. was a child.

“Babies still need to be changed, don’t they?” T.S. replies, “Wow!  Look at the great job I did on his diaper!”

Anyway, the baby is actually the son of Henry (Martin Neufeld) and Betty (Joanne Vannicola).  Henry made a deal with a corrupt adoption attorney named Mr. Finn (David Calderisi) to sell his son.  Not wanting to lose her child, Betty dropped the child off at the law office in the hopes that Amy would know how to stop the adoption.  When Henry goes down to the gym to try to grab his son, he is instead grabbed by T.S. Turner.  When Turner threatens to sell Henry, Henry asks what he’s talking about.

“We’re talking about baby selling, Henry!” Turner replies, “We’re talking about what type of man would sell his own flesh and blood!  What do you think we should do to a father who would sell his own son?”

Turner scares Henry straight and he promises not to sell the baby.  Betty forgives him, which is kind of weird.

“It’s people like you,” Amy later hisses at Finn, “who give my profession a bad name.”

And that’s the end of that.  This was yet another episode that would have worked better if the story played out of an hour instead of just 30 minutes.  As it is, the whole thing felt rather rushed.  That said, at least Betty was a more sympathetic client than the Silver Angel jackass.

Next week: T. and T. reminds us that it’s a Canadian show with an episode that is all about hockey!