Marium Carvell | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!

This week, we meet Johnny Ventura!

Episode 2.22 “Wedding Bell Blues”

(Dir by Jorge Montesi, originally aired on May 15th, 1989)

With Ryan and Jack out of town, it falls to Micki to retrieve a cursed pool cue stick. Helping her out, despite all of her attempts to convince him to get lost, is Johnny Ventura (Steve Monarque), a friend of Ryan’s who Ryan hired to help search for the cue stick. Even after Johnny finds out that the item has been cursed by Satan and Micki’s entire life currently revolves around supernatural violence, Johnny wants to not only help out but to also stick around, just because he likes Micki. Micki might want to tell him about all of her previous boyfriends who have all died as a result of getting involved in the search for cursed antiques.

I understand that Johnny is going to eventually replace Ryan on the show, starting with the third season. This episode isn’t particularly subtle about setting Johnny up as a Ryan substitute, though Johnny’s crush on Micki is a bit less cringey than Ryan’s. (Ryan is Micki’s cousin, which is something that the show often seems to overlook.) Johnny is established as being a cocky guy who is willing to break the rules. In other words, he’s just like every other guy who has ever been a lead character on a show like this. One of the stranger things about Johnny is that everyone keeps referring to him as being a “kid,” even though he looks like he’s older than just about everyone else on the show.

As for the cursed pool cue, it belongs to Jennifer (Elizabeth Maclellan), a waitress at a seedy bar. She wants to marry Danny (Louis Ferreira), a self-centered pool player who treats her terribly. Jennifer is convinced that Danny is just worried about winning the upcoming pool tournament so she impales people with the cursed pool cue. Each time Jennifer kills someone, the next game that Danny plays is his best ever. Jennifer is slightly sympathetic because she’s convinced that Danny will marry her right after he wins the tournament and she’s too insecure to see what a cad he is. (She’s also pregnant, though Danny doesn’t know it.) When Jennifer’s sister (played, in a very early role, by Lolita Davidovich) says that Danny is never going to marry her, Jennifer refuses to believe it. When Jennifer discovers that her sister is sleeping with Danny, Jennifer has found her next victim.

It’s really not that interesting of a curse but then again, this episode is more concerned with introducing the character of Johnny Ventura than with anything else. Unfortunately, at least in this episode, Johnny really isn’t that compelling of a character. This was a bit of a disappointing episode but who knows? Maybe Johnny Ventura will grow on me.

Next week, Micki and Ryan go to the ballet! Yay!

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, the second-to-last episode of T and T is all about the Czar of Canadian Surf Guitar!

Episode 3.20 “Wild Willie and the Waves”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on May 19th, 1990)

A fat bald man named Willie (Gordon Masten) walks into Decker’s gym and tells Turner that he needs helps getting into shape. Turner looks at Willie and says, “That’s a lot to take off, brother.” Willie explains that he’s planning on making a comeback. “A come back from what?” Turner growls. Willy reveals that he’s actually Wild Willy, the Czar of Canadian surf guitar!

T.S. Turner has never heard of Wild Willy but Decker is a huge fan. He’s even written a song called Surf Cincinnati, in tribute to his hero. However, Decker points out that Wild Willy died years ago in a plane crash in Brazil. Willy says that his manager convinced him to fake his own death as a way to push up record sales. Willy says that he’s spent the past two years lost in the Brazilian jungle. (So how did he get so fat?) Decker believes him but Turner is skeptical.

But, after Wild Willy tries to break into his old house to see his wife Francine (Terri Hawkes) and confront his manager, Big Steve (Nigel Bennett), Turner starts to change his mind. Big Steve claims that this Wild Willy is an imposter but, after Willy is nearly killed by a miswired electric guitar, Turner does some digging and discovers that Big Steve is about to sign a record deal to release all of Wild Willy’s previously unreleased material. “Willy is worth more dead than alive!” Terri exclaims.

Fear not. It all works out. Big Steve is defeated by Turner, Willy, and the power of rock and roll. Wild Willy doesn’t lose any weight but he still makes a comeback. He also steals Decker’s song and turns it into a hit. Decker is heart-broken but Terri says, “That’s rock and roll!” Hey, Terri — you’re a lawyer. Maybe you could help Decker file a lawsuit as opposed to just making fun of the poor guy? I mean, it seems like a good idea to me but what do I know?

This episode felt very familiar. People were always wandering into Decker’s Gym and claiming to be someone famous. The main problem with this particular episode is that Wild Willy was such an annoying and over-the-top character that it was hard to really care about whether or not he made his comeback or not. Add to that, why is Decker writing songs about Cincinnati when it’s totally obvious that T and T takes place in Canada?

Next week …. it’s the final episode of T and T! How will the saga end?