Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the cruise is not especially pleasant.

Episode 7.6 “Friend of the Family/Affair on Demand/Just Another Pretty Face”

(Dir by Ted Lange, originally aired on October 29th, 1983)

This week, Herbert (Gordon Jump) and Anita (Florence Henderson) are setting sail.  Herbert and Anita have been married for 25 years and Herbert has never cheated on Anita.  However, as he tells his old friend Isaac, he’s decided that it’s finally time for him to have his first affair.  He’s even decided to trick Anita into giving her approval.  Herbert is an insurance agent and he shows Anita an article that suggests that men who don’t cheat are more likely to succumb to a heart attack.  Anita is so concerned that she not only gives Herbert permission to cheat but she decides that maybe she should have an affair as well….

Needless to say, Anita knows exactly what Herbert was trying to do with the article and, once she’s played her practical joke, she is surprisingly forgiving.  I probably would not have been.  Then again, Herbert does promise to buy her a sable coat to make up for attempting to cheat on her.

Meanwhile, Jack (Robert Reed) is dating Leslie (Deborah Shelton), the much younger daughter of his best friend, Bill (Clint Walker).  Bill is not happy when he learns about this and orders Jack to stay away from his daughter.  Fortunately, Bill’s wife (Cathryn Damon) is able to show Bill the error of his ways.  Leslie gets to fulfil everyone’s fantasy of dating a tall, thin, neat, single 60 year-old with a mustache.

(Yes, Robert Reed and Florence Henderson do both appear in this episode but they only share one scene.  While getting breakfast out by the pool, they see each other and give each other a questioning look before shaking their heads.  Personally, I think this episode would have been a classic if it had featured Robert Reed as the husband trying to trick Florence Henderson into giving him permission to cheat.)

Finally, Deanna (Kim Lankford), the spoiled niece of one of the cruise line’s executives, boarded the boat and immediately developed a crush on Gopher.  I don’t blame her.  Gopher can be adorable when he wants to be.  But, as with the other two storylines, something just felt off here.  Gopher being such a passive character didn’t quite feel right for who the character has become by season 7.  This felt like a season 1 Gopher plot.

This episode didn’t do much for me, which is a surprise considering that it was directed by the usually dependable Ted Lange.  It was hard to sympathize with any of the passengers and the crew just seemed to be going through the motions.  Usually, I love The Love Boat but this episode didn’t work for me.