Leah Pipes | Through the Shattered Lens

Horror can make a political statement, it can make you reflect on your status in society, or it can just entertain. The first two types are good, but it’s also nice to just have fun! “Sorority Row” written by Josh Stolberg & Peter Goldfinger and directed by Stewart Hendler is a 1990s throwback. It had a real “I Know What You Did Last Summer” feel to it. Honestly, the reviews are not fair to this film. A lot of people want horror to be all things, but it’s supposed to be fun too. So, just relax and have a good time. Also, it doubled its money, which is what a movie is supposed to do- especially horror. It’s one of the few genres left that can produced by mere mortals.

What I liked mostly about the film was the writing. It had a lot of great humor without it being campy. I’ve gotten to know Josh Stolberg on twitter the script has quite a bit of his personality: clever and quick-witted. I especially enjoyed Jessica (Leah Pipes). As a man who went a Greek dominated college, she was very realistic. Her character and one-liners gave the story a mix of comic relief and reality. I practiced Criminal Law for waaaaay too long and I can tell you that even honest people can turn to something wicked if they feel threatened. People will invariably choose themselves over a possible life ending punishment.

The plot is similar to the original House on Sorority Row: a prank run a muck. The girls belong to Theta Pi and they to love to party, prank, and get murdered. Garrett a brother of the Sister “Chuggs” cheated on Megan another Theta Pi, which is not okay! So, the sisters have her fake an overdose so that Garrett believes he killed Megan. The sisters: Jessica, Ellie, Cassidy, Claire, Megan, and Chugs are all in on the prank are a little too convincing because they make Garrett believe that they need to hide Megan’s body in a mine shaft or their lives will be ruined. The sisters say they have to get rid of the air in Megan’s lungs or she’ll float back up. So, Garrett takes the initiative as a true go-getter and uses a tire iron to stab Megan to death. Jessica decides very quickly that they need to hide Megan’s body for real. When Cassidy refuses to participate, they wrap the corpse in Cassidy’s coat and throw it down the mine shaft. Jessica really thinks fast on her feet.

I don’t know about you, but I think Jessica would be good marriage material. Hear me out: she’s determined, quick-thinking, has a college degree, and is ruthless to protect her goals. Also, Cassidy tried to be all above it, but as Jessica said- “you could’ve called the police, but you didn’t!” Agreed. You don’t get to benefit from something wicked and then look down on everyone else. Jessica made her choice and stuck to it. She made a good point as to protecting everyone’s future and ran with it. Cassidy kept Hamletting over her bad choices. Do it or Don’t. Jessica, don’t listen to the haters.

All seems fine a year later. They’ve all moved on except for Garrett who has become a wreck over his humiliation and accidental murdering. Then, they all receive a threatening group text on their very old timey looking phones- 2009 was just ten years ago and these phones look like museum pieces.

This technology allowed for some extra suspense because reception and tech wasn’t that great then; therefore, the characters can be cutoff from help. I really think horror shouldn’t be set any time after 2009 because it’s just too easy to get help now. This lack of tech added a nice layer of suspense. The text sender stalks and murders them one by one.

The kills were pretty clever: an electrocution, death by chardonnay, tire iron throwing, and a good ol’ fashioned stabbing or three. It also had a fun twist at the end like the 1990s horror films of my youth. I recommend this film. Read my past reviews- I don’t just recommend anything. I’m an iconoclast and can tell you that this was a lot of fun. Happy Horrorthon!

There are a few lessons that I’ve learned from Lifetime movies in general and the film Mommy Group Murder in specific.

First off, don’t live in the suburbs. Like, seriously, don’t do it. Yes, the houses are big and everyone’s got a nice lawn and there’s always some hot guy working shirtless across the street from you. Yes, it may seem like a nice and fun place to live but don’t be fooled. You want to know why all those pretty and handsome people are living in the suburbs? Because they’ve all got something to hide! The minute they see you and your sensitive husband and your baby moving into the big, white house next door, they’re going to start plotting against you. Next thing you know, strangers will be putting cameras in your house and having sex on your kitchen counters and you’ll be hearing weird noises at all hours of the night.

(Of course, I already live in the suburbs so I’m learning this lesson a bit too late. Admittedly, my suburban neighborhood seems to be a bit safer than the average Lifetime suburban neighbor. I have yet to find any hidden cameras in the house and the kitchen counters are thoroughly cleaned every day.)

Lesson number two: no matter how appealing the mysterious mansion next door might look, resist the temptation to break in and look around. In fact, for that matter, don’t even accept an invitation to visit. Nothing good ever happens in those mansions. There’s always either a dead body hidden in an ice chest or someone chained up in the basement. Once you discover something like that, you’re pretty much required by law to get involved and go to the police. So, seriously, think before you invade.

Lesson number three: You know that person who shows up out of nowhere and suddenly wants to be your new best friend? DON’T TRUST THEM! When all of your old friends or your husband says that they think there’s something strange about your new BFF, LISTEN! And when you discover that your new best friend is using an alias, ask yourself why. Don’t just shrug and say, “Well, she just changed her name. Big deal.”

Finally, lesson number four — and this is one that was specifically driven home by this movie: Don’t join a mommy group! Sure, it’s tempting. I mean, you’re suffering from crippling depression. You’re having nightmares about someone trying to kidnap your baby. Your new best friend suggests that maybe you need to join a mommy group so that you can talk about all of this with people who actually understand what you’re going through. It seems like a great idea but, if Lifetime has taught us anything, it’s that these mommy groups always lead to secrets, lies, and murder!

That’s what Natalie (Leah Pipes) discovers after she befriends the mysterious Grace (Helena Mattsson). Natalie and Grace are the center of Mommy Group Murder, a film which aired on Lifetime back in March.

Plotwise, Mommy Group Murder may seem like a typical Lifetime film. Suburbs, adultery, murder, and a best friend that no one listens to until it’s too late, it’s all here! However, Mommy Group Murder also features a wonderfully nuanced performance from Leah Pipes and a few twists and turns that take the movie to a slightly darker place than the average Lifetime film. Director Nick Everhart emphasizes the darkness at the heart of the film’s story, opening with a harrowing montage of Natalie struggling to bond with her daughter and ending with a shadowy sequence that has as much in common with a horror film as a Lifetime film.

Mommy Group Murder is a nicely done, melodramatic thriller. Watch it and learn.